Complete list of nominations for May, 2006

MAY 2006 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Anagrammy Archives > 2006

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
The Da Vinci Code: Special Illustrated Edition =
Anti-Catholic? Loved detailed pictures inside!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Motion picture: 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' =
We've electroshock option on menu to cure fits.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Kate Bush: 'Wuthering Heights' =
Sang her best with huge UK hit.

David Bourke with:
The tenor Luciano Pavarotti =
An over-the-top articulation?

David Bourke with:
The American singer Cher =
Screecher in a nightmare!

Tony Crafter with:
Paul Simon's 'Mother and Child Reunion' =
Dull pair's 'Hi mom' and 'Hi son' encounter.

Tony Crafter with:
Finland's Eurovision Song Contest entry =
It's a victory for indulgent nonsense, son

Ellie Dent with:
Leonardo Da Vinci's 'Adoration of the Magi' =
Admiration of a haloed virgin's not a code?

Meyran Kraus with:
The US detective fiction author Dan Brown =
Written about the hunter of Da Vinci's code.

Rosie Perera with:
Bannister's four-minute mile =
Note: I'm nimble. I sure run fast!

Rick Rothstein with:
The singer Kate Bush =
Hearing the UK's best.

Christopher Sturdy with:
May The Force Be With You ‡
My cute father, who I obey

View with:
The Coldplay singer Chris Martin =
Crap lines, rhythm...I ignore last CD!

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

eq.1st - Tony Crafter with:
Miss Keira Knightley to be The New Face of Chanel's ‘Coco Mademoiselle’=
Nice, gentle, wholesome choice. Man, I bet Kate Moss is really hacked off!

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Gary Griffin book, 'Penis Enlargement Methods: Fact and Phallusy'=
One fraud by a hack tells the men to find a proper magnifying glass!

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." - Thomas Edison =
Our president, opining: "Idiocy is one percent an appointment (I ran), the rest in insaneness."

David Bourke with:
The BBC Consumer Affairs Correspondent Karen Bowerman =
So, a dunce known for French cabbie report embarrassment!

David Bourke with:
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives." - John Stuart Mill =
Pretty clever? Vast intellect? Supreme standards? Virtuous? Sensitive? Compassionate? Posh? - Join Labour!

David Bourke with:
Sir Paul McCartney, the former lead singer of the group 'The Beatles' =
Miser buggered...partner Heather to empty all his coffers clean out!

David Bourke with:
Terrence Howells, the proprietor of 'Supertan', Northwood, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire =
Terrors in store! Rent, lower the top, feel shock (no trip), nod off, then throw-up...arse roasted!

David Bourke with:
Please remove this nom. I never compete in RUDE and don't want my name associated with that category in noms lists. =
Rosie Perera...a chaste, innocent, sensitive, modest, somewhat timid, smut-hating woman. (And pretty damn lovely...once!)

Meyran Kraus with:
'The Art of Auto-fellatio: Oral Sex for One' by Gary Griffin=
No fun after flexible yoga, for I got a fairly sore throat!

Rosie Perera with:
I think you've used up the last of your nine lives there David Bourke! =
I, David Bourke, put evil shit here. She eyes lout -- "Not funny!"

Rosie Perera with:
FBI has razed a large horse barn in Michigan in its search for former Teamsters union boss Jimmy Hoffa. =
Staff in uniforms join bizarre archaeology dig to see if brash crime-man's shin bones harm farm's earth.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Our server was out of action for 24 hours. Our host has not provided any explanation for this nor replied to my email. =
O! Poor, vexatious situation.
No help or value from horrid host, doteasy...
Don't panic, hero Larry!
Answer is 42... Turn 'em off!

View with:
'Be fruitful,and multiply,and replenish the earth' =
Human, fill this planet further. Reputably,indeed

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
After having their ninth child, a Brummy couple decide it's enough as they can't afford a larger bed. So the husband goes to his doctor and says that he and his wife don't want to have any more children.

The doctor tells him there is a procedure called a vasectomy that will usually solve the problem yet it is very expensive.

"A less costly alternative is to go home, get a big firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold it to the ear and count to ten."

The Brummy says, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can held against my ear is going to sort me out."

"Yes, it seems iffy, but trust me, it will do the job", says the GP.

So the man dashes off home, lights a banger and puts it in a beer can. Then he holds the can next to his ear and begins to count: "One, two, three, four, five..." at which point he pauses and puts the beer can between his legs so he can carry on counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works very well in Liverpool, Manchester, Essex and anywhere in Wales

=

A married couple are motoring along at a controlled thirty miles per hour, the wife at the wheel.

Then her husband blurts out, "I realise we've been married twenty years, but ...I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, but gradually increases her speed to forty mph.

The husband continues. "I'm having a fling with your best friend, because the sex is a hell of a lot better than any stagnant congress with you. Don't attempt to oppose me or to change my mind."

Still she remains silent. And the speed goes up to fifty.

Bolder now, he decides to push his luck. "I want the house too."

Sixty mph.

"And the car," he continues.

Sixty-five mph.

"And I'll have the rest too - bank accounts, credit cards, and the boat."

The car, racing on, strays towards a concrete bridge.
This gets him nervous, and he asks: "So, isn't there anything you need?"

The wife replies in a calm, controlled voice.
"No, Bob, I've got everything I need."

"Oh, really," he snorts, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall, the wife shoots a glance at him and smiles; "The airbag."

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:

The former singer of The Beatles, Sir Paul McCartney,
and his spouse Heather Mills are separating, after
four years of marriage
=

The geriatric performer fears she may prepare fresh,
sure-fire alimony claims...but I fear, as a rule,
she hasn't got a leg to stand on!

eq.2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Within the first three months of the year, G. W. Bush has been the punchline of three hundred and seven monologue jokes by late-night show hosts Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, according to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, which always keeps track of such statistics.

=

Leno mainly scoffs at the idiot. Behold! Consider one such fun jab: "Savvy former Pres. Garfield could write French with one hand and Greek with the other, both at the same time! When that ninny Bush learns about this, he says, 'Jesus! A shocking concept! We once had a talking cat for president?'"

Meyran Kraus with:
Selected 'Mission: Impossible III' trivia from IMDB.com:

Kenneth Branagh was cast as the villain, but because of shooting-delays he had to drop out to begin work on 'As You Like It' (2006).

Scarlett Johansson was cast in the film early on but pulled out of the project and her role eventually went to Keri Russell.

In early May 2004, it was reported that Tom Cruise (in his role as a producer) had requested of the German government that filming be allowed in the 40-metre glass dome of the German Parliament building, the Bundestag. He had earlier visited the Foster & Partners-designed building and been very impressed. His request was denied, however, by Parliament President Wolfgang Thierse. "The building is not available as a film location and we refuse point blank every request to use it as such," a spokesman said.

Cameo: [Daniel Mindel] The film's cinematographer appears as a doctor talking to Julia in the hospital.

During the credits, one of the organizations which the producers of the film wish to thank is the Hanso Foundation, a group tied to J.J. Abrams' television series, "Lost" (2004).

=

More little-known trivia from this movie:

Tom Cruise's 'revise' of the screenplay adds L. Ron Hubbard quips and plants lines uttered by the hero Ethan Hunt, like: "I need that man's weapon, even though I am not gay" and "Ah, how I love labia!"

Geena Davis has signed on to star, but bailed out. Later on, Martin Sheen and Bill Murray also agreed to play roles, but left the set snickering. The producers then sensed that people are joining the movie and dropping out just for the hell of it. Suspicion grew when latest departure Brooke Shields stated: "Tell Mr. Cruise that I missed my Sane-O-Pills."

For this film's big blast, Tom has proposed to detonate a quite real atomic warhead in Anchorage, Alaska, rationalizing it with: "I don't see anybody here." After his suggestion was turned down, Tom locked himself in his trailer for almost five weeks, during which he emerged just once to allow the delivery of a massive crate containing Diet Pepsi, barbeque ribs and a tied Katie Holmes.

Cameo: [J.J. Abrams] The director can be seen flipping us off in a gorilla suit during the famous missile scene.

The Anagrammy Awards

MAY 2006 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY