"Father," quoth Neil, "May I set foot on ~
the Sea of Tranquility of the Moon?"

Upset stomach? ~
TUMS stop ache!

The Olympics in Paris, France =
A typical French impression.

Ooh, read all the embarrassing legal shit on ~
the "Oasis" brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher!

A fireworks display at night on the fourth of July =
Folks wait for hours and they enjoy it light far up!

Joe Biden or Donald Trump for President =
Old, prudent or inept man for desired job?

(D) Biden's ~
bid ends.

A registered Republican ~
script: Rue a bleeding ear!

A rival smirked, "Aha! ~
Kamala Devi Harris?!"

"Father," quoth Neil, "May I set foot on ~
the Sea of Tranquility of the Moon?"

Britain's National Health-issued spectacles =
Beatle Lennon used this pair that is a classic.

That famous racist Dee Tee in ~
the United States of America.

The Top Five Bond Movies Ranked By Chicago Film Scene
5. GoldenEye
4. From Russia with Love
3. Skyfall
2. Goldfinger
1. Casino Royal
=
5. Why families have liked fifth guy Pierce Brosnan
4 & 2. Old folks (myself!) love Scot Sean Connery
3 & 1. Go, Brit Daniel Craig! Good move!

Secrets of Life
- Socialise
- Look for true friends
- Learn
- Travel more
- Add a pastime
- Maintain a diet
- Be mindful
- Slow that action down
- Meditate
- Enjoy weekends.

VH1's Top Twenty Greatest One Hit Wonders
1. Los Del Rio: Macarena
2. Soft Cell: Tainted Love
3. Dexys Midnight Runners: Come on Eileen
4. Right Said Fred: I'm Too Sexy
5. Toni Basil : Mickey
6. Baha Men: Who Let the Dogs Out
7. Vanilla Ice: Ice Ice Baby
8. a-ha: Take on Me
9. Gerardo: Rico Suave
10. Nena: 99 Luftballoons
11. Debby Boone: You Light Up My Life
12. Sir Mix-A-Lot: Baby Got Back
13. Van McCoy: The Hustle
14. Deee-Lite: Groove Is in the Heart
15. ? & The Mysterians: 96 Tears
16. Sugarhill Gang: Rapper's Delight
17. Twisted Sister: We're Not Gonna Take It
18. Sinead O'Connor: Nothing Compares 2 U
19. Iron Butterfly: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
20. Thomas Dolby: She Blinded Me With Science
=
1. Extensive '96 dance fad
2. Used in a Levi's ad
3. "Too-ra-loo-ra, aye!"
4. Hilarious! Belittles bodybuilders & voguers in '91
5. With hot, athletic cheerleaders
6. Exalts man-bashing
7. C'mon, do chill out!
8. Those worthy boys from Norway
9. Big Latin flavor -- taste it in you!
10. German anti-war sentiment
11. Memorable Kasey Cisyk cover
12. '92 hit glamorising women with big butts
13. Dance to it and listen to the piccolo, too!
14. Psychedelic funk
15. Phenomenal garage band pioneers
16. Great time at the disco
17. Heavy metal by Dee Snider
18. That excellent song by Prince
19. "In the Garden of Eden," slurred by the inebriated Doug Ingle?
20. "Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto!"

The septuagenarian's woes =
A penis ages then wears out.

The costs of doing business ~
consisted of suing the Boss!

A fictional event =
A nice fat lie on TV.

The President of Iran, Ebrahim Raisolsadati ~
dies in the heat of abnormal air disaster. R.I.P.

Biden drops out of the election ~
but decision left the door open.

Hannibal Directive =
End civilian breath.

A child inherits =
An idle, rich shit.

The innermost self ~
Felt mirth; oneness.

The innermost self ~
nestles in the form.

In magic, the name of the thing, is the thing. The name contains, in itself, the essence of the being, the quality which makes it what it is, and not something else. The magical use of names is rooted in many civilized people's minds today, as it was in ancient and primitive societies. - Man, Myth, and Magic.
~
The anagram incantation is a significant mimic to the essence of the self... Insight into Qi can ultimately heighten magnetism between insipid kin!
Thought floods the mind... Yet, love envelopes the compassionate heart.
The mind's eye sees a maze dancing within. This is dynamic data, mimic a wish.

I was the world in which I walked, and what I saw or heard or felt came not but from myself. And there I found myself more truly and more strange. - Wallace Stevens
=
Want an adage? Do cleverly edify the mind: Worldwide transformation came not from wickedness, or fearfulness, but a warm soul. We will heal the heart's rhythm.

My Politics =
It's Olympic.

Eden Golan =
A legend? No.

The former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland =
Likely mindlessly tendering the R-card for show.

Late singer and actress Francoise Hardy =
A star arisen. Certainly a French goddess.

She's So Unusual =
Nauseous slush.

Diversity statements
Stymied transvestite!

The singer and actor Justin Randall Timberlake =
Tanked at bar, morning DUI arrest, then jail cells.

Kamala Harris's opponent's "public meltdown"=
Polls: "Black/Asian woman president!"
Trump: "Oh!"

Eric Leroy Adams (D) ~
is declared Mayor!

The Eurovision singer Oliver Alexander Thornton =
Horror to endure, no? Revels in having sex in a toilet.

The late singer Amy Winehouse =
Get in The Hawley Arms...one I use!

The US politician Donald Trump =
Laid? That could put me in prison!

The late singer David Bowie =
Dead, I believe. Is that wrong?

President Vladimir Putin =
Diminutive land-stripper!

Serbia and Montenegro =
Nation based on merger.

The Humane Slaughter Association =
Hurt animals? Enough! It has to cease.

The President of The United States of America =
It's seen the idiot Trump faces another defeat.

Meghan and Prince Harry's pseudo-royal tour of Nigeria
=
It's a proud African lady & her shy European ginger moron.

The Iranian President Ebrahim Raisolsadati, the butcher of Tehran
=
This barbarian under earth. Met his death in a helicopter in a forest.

Donald Trump, the former US President, is guilty on all counts.
=
Democrats pull a dirty stunt...prison for the luminous legend!

1. A nun's nation
2. Yodeller
3. Boring
4. Angry thugs
5. Annual beer haven
6. Pig on menu
7. Three Lions
8. Frog clan
9. Katie Melua
10. Kraut
11. Gypsy
12. Azzuri
13. Clogheads
14. Beet
15. Red wine
16. Vampire
17. Red hair clan
18. Dinar
19. Tatra
20. Adriatic
21. Tapas
22. Clocks
23. Islam
24. Balalaika

Reality, not reverie time! Donald J. Trump beaten. Does his time inside. Democrats in office. "Erudite" Kamala often waffles...nonsensical woke total word-salad.

A wish of an idealist: For Jews of Israel and Muslims of Palestine to undertake to cool it down, meet, talk it over...and end Middle East interference by America.

The new State of Louisiana legislature that requires for all of its public schools to display the Ten Commandments in the classroom
=
Thou Shalt Not:
- Lie
- Steal
- Study science
- Mine for oil
- Shoot the staff
- Worship Islam
- Go queer
- Let in Latinos
- Be Democrat
- Call Trump an ass

An Incomplete List of Things More Capable of Running the Country than the Current Government - Brian Bilston
A bollard. A thimble. A beef gravy granule.
A bilge pump. A plectrum. A Pokemon annual.
A doorknob. A chaffinch. An old rusty kettle.
A footbath. A clothes peg. A wine stain. A pebble.
A ceramic spoon holder. A fruit polo mint.
A discarded tissue. A puddle. Some lint.
A used toner cartridge. Some musical socks.
A build up of silt. A stuffed startled fox.
A plimsoll. A wingnut. A set of false teeth.
A novelty wall clock with the face of Prue Leith.
A beetle. A drumlin. A short piece of string.
A packet of Wotsits. A plant pot. Most things.
=
An Incomplete List Of Things More Interesting Than Keir Starmer:
Decaf tea. Turf. Ant and Dec. A leaf raker.
A sackful of offal. A humpback whale cloaca.
Goat phlegm. Combs. Toothbrushes. A purple pullover.
A catheter. Dartford. A toilet in Dover.
The Cones Hotline. Pallets at Milton Keynes Station.
A Britney Spears' Hits Twelve-Inch Mix compilation.
Football fans. Belgium. A foul dose of the clap.
Fungus. Lettuce. Ontario. Tin cans. Watford Gap.
Boils. Rusty old nails. A dripping old faucet.
Ann Widdecombe's bottom in an Ann Summers corset.
Teetotallers. A tub of lard. William Hague.
Punk played on the bagpipes. The bubonic plague.

'Elected' by Alice Cooper
I'm your top prime cut of meat
I'm your choice
I wanna be elected
I'm your Yankee Doodle Dandy in a gold Rolls Royce
I wanna be elected
Kids want a savior and don't need a fake
I wanna be elected
We're all gonna rock to the rules that I make
I wanna be elected
Elected
Elected, yeah
Respected, yeah
Elected
I never lied to you,
I've always been cool
I wanna be elected
I gotta get the vote
And I told you 'bout school
I wanna be elected
Elected
Elected
Hallelujah
I wanna be selected
Everyone in the United States Of America!
We're gonna win this one
Take the country by storm
We're gonna be elected
You and me together, young and strong
We're gonna be elected
Elected
Elected
Respected, selected, call collected
I wanna be elected
And if I am elected
I promise the formation of a new party
A third party, the wild party!
I know we have problems
We got problems right here in Central City
We have problems on the North, South, East and West
New York City, Saint Louis, Philadelphia, Los Angeles
Detroit, Chicago
Everybody has problems
And personally, I don't care.
=
'Re-Elected - Always My Destiny' by Donald Trump
The boorish toupeed one's back,
The world may now rejoice,
I wanna be elected!
A bleach-haired orange total tool with a whiny voice,
I wanna be elected!
Soon gonna make America great again,
I wanna be elected!
Got a bullet to my ear, fought on through the pain,
I wanna be elected!
Elected!
Elected, yeah!
Elected!
Re-elected!
Decrepit Biden's clapped out,
Kamala, have you seen her?
I wanna be elected!
A word-salad-spewing loony cackling like a hyena,
I wanna be elected!
Re-elected!
Re-elected!
Re-elected!
Re-elected!
Everyone in the United States Of America!
We're gonna win very bigly,
Destroy the no-chance Blues.
We're gonna be elected!
We'll make that Pelosi woman yesterday's news (for now),
We're gonna be elected!
Elected!
Elected!
Elected!
Re-elected!
When I replace that doddery, disorientated, physically
incontinent old fool in the White House (Obama's puppet),
I do promise, our stormy times are over! Trust Uncle Donny,
folks! My cult of personality. A dictator blatantly above
the Democrat donkeys' vitriolic politics?
I don't give a hoot.

On the right side of the tracks =
God, think of the racists there!

The Super Mario Bros. Movie =
Some report misbehaviour.

Weather forecast: "Very hot" =
A cry of "the worst heat ever!"

Posts from a local video camera as Mount Etna revives =
Lava and steam rise from Europe's most active volcano.

Politician Donald J. Trump =
Plump dictator Don in jail?

Ex-Scientologist =
I exit sect, "So long!"

The bad news: Oh, everything is hard now, with multiple wars, violent torment, loss of life, global famine, and theft.
=
Poets: But, what if everything is bad and we still fall in love with the moon and learn something from the flowers?

Countries not providing players (or blackballed - rather cold!) in this summer challenge:
Angola
Brazil
Canada
Egypt
Finland
Greece
Kuwait
Liberia
North Korea
Paraguay
Russia
Sri Lanka
Tanzania
Uganda
The US
Vietnam
Yemen

The Anagrammy challenge is a puzzle, a riddle to crack.
Do I arrange the ball gig by country,
Use a long limerick or a Shakespearean sonnet,
Rank battle rivals and anticipate a sure win,
or burn individual players?
Ugh! I am not a fan.

Country Capitals
(You get to fill in the blanks. Heck, go crazy!)
1. _irana
2. Vi_nna
3. Br_ssel_
4. Zagre_
5. P_ague
6. C_penhagen
7. _ondon
8. _aris
9. Tbilis_
10. _erlin
11. _udapest
12. _ome
13. Am_terdam
14. _arsaw
15. Li__on
16. _uchare_t
17. Edin_urgh
18. _elgrade
19. _rati_lava
20. L_ubl_ana
21. Madri_
22. _ern
23. Anka_a
24. Kyi_

Realizing that blanks are illegal,
Area capitals are precluded;
As many take no titles regal,
Royal ranks can't be included
(In your case, of Buckingham).
With one rule I am observing,
To author a zippy anagram
Is hard and unnerving!

If
If we take a second to refuel,
Make this distressed forum a jewel,
For once, don't procrastinate,
Revitalise aims and nominate,
Maybe it'll do well and not die.

The Language of Science:
1. "It has long been known"...
2. "A definite trend is evident"...
3. "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"...
4. "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"...
5. "Typical results are shown"...
6. "These results will be in a subsequent report"....
7. "In my experience"...
8. "In case after case"...
9. "In a series of cases"...
10. "It is believed that"...
11. "It is generally believed that"...
12. "Correct within an order of magnitude"...
13. "According to statistical analysis"...
14. "A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings"...
15. "A careful analysis of obtainable data"...
16. "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"...
17. "After additional study by my colleagues"...
18. "Thanks are due to Ms. Mimi Katz for assistance with the experiment and to Mr. Mark Adams for valuable discussions"...
19. "A highly significant area for exploratory study"...
20. "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"...
=
Translation:
1. I didn't identify or search for the original reference in a library.
2. This trend is practically meaningless.
3. An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
4. Other results didn't make sense.
5. I made this fantastic, exciting graph.
6. I might get around to submitting this sometime, if assigned, or if I acquire proper funding.
7. Once.
8. Twice.
9. Thrice.
10. I definitely want to believe it.
11. I hope several other individuals in the office can believe it, too.
12. It was a failure, totally false.
13. This is all worthless conjecture.
14. A reasonably satisfying, but wild, guess.
15. Three pages of notes were obliterated yesterday, when I was so heavily caffeinated that I carelessly knocked over a cup of hot coffee.
16. I don't understand this now.
17. This seems senseless. My associates didn't understand it either.
18. A collaboration: Ms. Katz did all the work, and then her associate Mr. Adams offered an explanation of what the calculations meant.
19. An unreasonable topic, as requested by my boss.
20. I quit.

Daffodowndilly
by A.A. Milne
She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbour:
"Winter is dead."
=
North Carolina
The hued flowers are weatherbeaten;
And their thin heads hang low.
Thundershowers dowsed them,
When, oddly, we needed snow.
Indeed, they look sorrowful,
Done in, yet still young.
But, the 'Houdini' weeds rebound:
"Spring has sprung."

"Though April showers may come your way,
They bring the flowers that bloom in May,
So if it's raining have no regrets,
Because it isn't raining rain you know, it's raining violets."
=
When you see a big storm high over yon hills,
Thus, you know it can soon enhance fragrant frills,
Oh boy, it is very inspiring to me,
As a witty, ambitious, anagram-writing retiree.

May-Flower
Emily Dickinson
Pink, small, and punctual,
Aromatic, low,
Covert in April,
Candid in May,
Dear to the moss,
Known by the knoll,
Next to the robin
In every human soul.
Bold little beauty,
Bedecked with thee,
Nature forswears
Antiquity.
=
Knock-Out Rose
Thick dramatic blooms
On prickly stem,
Abundant perfume,
And I thank them.
On biannual Equinox,
They boldly flower,
But delicate leaves
Insects devour.
Yet, now I'll tend them,
And water I will ration.
Why? My early
Inspiration.

Today
by Mary Oliver
Today I m flying low and I m
not saying a word
I m letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.
The world goes on as it must,
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.
And so forth.
But I m taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move though really I m traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.
=
On this day, I lollygag in the silence,
Not venturing outside.
I don't like to get interference
From a mad world so wide.
Interruption might be inevitable;
I left my phone on airplane mode.
That may be the most sensible
For my modest abode.
After I sit tight in that stillness,
I hear a fly, a dog, a gull, a dove -
A smart quartet of lightness,
Worthy of my love.
Highlight. The goal of a stagnant day.

A police officer stopped a BMW, approached the driver's window and said, "May I have your license and registration, please?"
The driver said, "I don't have a license."
The cop asked: "Can I have the registration?"
"It's not my car, I stole it" answered the driver.
"A stolen car??" asked the cop.
The man answered, "Yes, but when I think about it, I remember finding the registration. It was in the glove compartment when I put the gun in there."
"A gun in the glove compartment???"
The driver said, "Yes, officer, I put it there after I killed the owner and threw the body into the trunk".
"Wow, a body in the trunk????"
"Yes, officer."
The officer immediately called it in, and his superior arrived quickly.
Within a few minutes, cops surrounded the car, and the top ranking lieutenant approached the driver's window. "May I have your license?"
"Yes, you may," answered the man, while handing over his license.
"Who owns this car?" asked the lieutenant.
"It's mine, officer. Here's the registration".
The officer said: "Would you please slowly open the glove compartment so I can see if there's a gun inside?"
"Sure, but there's no gun inside". There was no gun.
The police lieutenant asked, "Would you mind opening the trunk? I got information that there's a body".
"No problem", the driver opened the trunk, which was empty, except for jumper cables.
"I don't understand. The cop who called told us you don't have a license, you stole the car, there's a gun in the glove compartment, and a body in the trunk."
The man replied, "I'll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!"=
I recently attended an in-person Inter-Religion Seminar at a resort.
The representative Christian Bishop came over, tenderly laid his hands over mine and pronounced, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"
I politely said thanks, that I appreciate the support, but I'm a runner and have no documented handicap or issue. My leg function is quite sufficient.
Then, the unpretentious Rabbi came over, laid his hands upon mine and offered, "By the power of Hashem Almighty, you will walk today!" It was super-frustrating;
however, I pointed out with appropriate respect that there is nothing wrong with me.
Then, the esteemed Mullah came over, took my hands and praised Allah, pronouncing, "You will walk today!"
It was irksome, so I snapped, "Nonsense, there is nothing wrong with me!"
Next, the enlightened Hindu devotee came over, concentrated, and volunteered, "I am certain that you will walk today."
I reiterated, "There is nothing wrong with me. I have no leg defect. You see, they are perfect!"
Then, the introspective Buddhist Monk came, took my hand in his and offered, "By the kindness of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"
However, I rebutted that there is nothing wrong with me.
After the Seminar had concluded, I hurriedly emerged outside, disoriented, noting that my car had been stolen.
So perceptive! I guess I was an irreverent over-caffeinated skeptic, the cocksure critic with erroneous preconceived ideas;
but, now I respect all the peaceful religious faiths as one.

Here are a few key points from Project 2025 (Pro-Trump proposal to "Reshape America"):
*Overhaul the way the FBI usually operates, end the term limit for the FBI head, who yellowly swears undue loyalty to the president.
*Shelve the Department of Education, ban "critical race theory", bury, burn or republish various "heathen" or "unholy" books (Eyre?), seek harsh punishments for anyone audacious enough to teach sex education to unruly youth.
*Assure that voter registration fraud and unlawful ballot tampering will remain federal offenses, neither investigated nor prosecuted.
*Defy progressive Biden-era policies addressing unusual weather changes, vanishing honeybees and deforestation, while redoubling untenable fossil fuel industries, thereby unheedfully withdrawing from further efforts to research alternative energy.
*Suspend cybersecurity efforts to assess mis- and disinformation. Hey, the busy federal employee's eye can't see what is true or what is hooey either.
*Reverse immigration policies to phase out work-visas which allow seasonal workers to cross the US border with Mexico; then isolate and indefinitely hold any "undesirable hoodlums."
*Reverse the ability to safely have abortions, inhibit funding of birth control as health care.
*Eliminate LGBTQ+ protections, remove offensive words like "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" from vital records.
*End ties with China, hush TikTok, eventually disentangling from all business endeavors.
*Reverse protections against discrimination in housing, hostilely selling off residences, a priority to a needy real estate investor, but highly lethal to the needy house owner.
*Offer amnesty for any hobby assault gun fanciers.
*Bid adieu to the unions of "yesterday's heyday" (youthful nostalgia)
=
Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
"GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

I am a Miami imam =
Aim ... aim ... aim ... maim!

The Eurovision Song Contest =
Strong in-tune voices soothe.

The Star Spangled Banner =
Ah, England's best partner.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City =
Fed. note car thug activity.

SCOTUS put US democracy in great peril =
Use logic: President Trump's autocracy.

Deriving an anagram =
Amend via arranging.

The Earth's molten core =
Hot ores can melt there.

Rap artist Kendrick Lamar ~
trips alarm in Drake track.

"NSYNC" is just first names!
...joke? A bizarre joke? Alphabetical trick? Check!
~
JustiN Timberlake
ChriS Kirkpatrick
JoeY Fatone
LaNce... Bass?
JC Chasez

"Autopilot is a hands-on driver assistance system that is intended to be used only with a fully attentive driver. It does not turn a Tesla into a self-driving vehicle nor does it make a vehicle autonomous."
=
Had a drink? Seven rounds?
Need to tune right out?
Can't stand to miss social-media activity? headlines? HBO?
Found several sensational filters to try out on your phone?
Sit! Save time & live a little! We advise it.

Fire and brimstone =
Bad time for sinner.

To get his panties in a bunch =
Caught bits. Oh, intense pain!

Complete and utter bastard =
Damn beast, turd, total creep!

The Olympic Games in Paris =
Simply imagine each sport!

General Assembly of the United Nations =
Many self-debate, then sign a resolution!

The first ever International Day of Anagrams =
To shift, vary and arrange letters, a fine aim, no?

Anti-Israeli Protests =
Palestine stirs a riot.

Ex-president, Donald Trump =
Experts: "Old and imprudent."

The Trump candidacy =
Cruddy, pathetic man.

Wokeness ~
skews one.

Diversity statements =
It's time travesty ends!

Persistent depressive disorder =
Dispirited persons deserve rest.

Cohen testifies in Trump's hush money trial =
Him? Inane life; sent Stormy riches to shut up.

The Attempt on Slovakia's Prime Minister's Life =
A pest, Mr. Intemperate, aims to kill in five shots.

American Airlines flight attendant salaries =
Earn a trifle; instead a rich man gets it all. A sin!

Free Palestine =
Fate: Peril seen.

Rupert Murdoch marries Elena Zhukova =
Um, her paramour: craziest old hunk ever!

Four Israeli hostages recovered =
Rescued alive! Arise! Go for others!

Mystery monolith appears near Las Vegas =
Smart aliens play games, spy over on Earth.

Older man's a risk. Fairer path: ~
Kamala Harris for President.

Thomas Matthew Crooks =
Some whacko shot at Mr. T.

"We are not going back!" -- Kamala Harris =
Barack O. grins: "Ah, like a great woman!"

White Dudes for Harris =
Dad is with her for sure.

Friday's global tech outage =
O, crudely sabotage a flight!

Razor thin US presidential poll margins =
Harris tops, derailing Trump in all zones.

Razor thin US presidential poll margins =
Harris all organized, inept Trump's losin'.

Boar s Head meats recalled =
Deaths soar; declare blame.

CrowdStrike Holdings, Inc. =
Richer stock sliding down.

The Paris Olympics =
Hail my epic sports!

The President of the United States of America =
See, put a Harris in that esteemed office, not DT!

Defense Rests in Trump Trial; Jury Deliberations Are Expected Next Week
=
Kindly referee: "We'd better expose ex-President as just a criminal nutter!"

New Louisiana law requires all public classrooms to display the Ten Commandments
=
Well, airy Republicans call up Moses' moral wisdom and some quite ancient "shalt nots".

Biden tells Democratic governors he needs more sleep and will stop scheduling events at night
=
It's called "sundowning" -- the dementia problem. Even long-cherished clever oldsters get it. No pass.

White House denies President is being treated for Parkinson's
=
It's fine! He's a stutterer. A kind person's being dishonored! I weep.

Kamala and Tim aim to be more positive, joyful; not filled with lies, sneers, racism, and disaster as one effete ace attacker-felon DT would need in order to win.

The Ten Best Chrome Extensions for 2024:
1. Bitwarden
2. Ghostery
3. Grammarly
4. Dark Reader
5. Pocket
6. Loom
7. Momentum
8. OneTab
9. StayFocusd
10. Honey
=
1. Passcode
2. Nix ads
3. Too, to, two?
4. Ebony mode
5. Read later, Ken
6. Screen grab
7. Remember tasks
8. Fifty? Too many!
9. Hurry, center thought
10. Hmm, lemon?

Reader, if I may? ~
Ready, aim, fire.

Is relatively efficient =
Is it really ineffective?

Enabling the interface ~
can be life threatening.

All is sorted then =
I sent the dollars.

Viral social media post =
avoid political smears.

I do not want your help =
Therapy? No, I would not!

He is unable to concentrate =
Balance the tension to cure.

RE: The many legal troubles now hitting Trump =
Tell Putin: How to grant asylum, bring me there!

It's Pollinator Week
So we trap one, kill it!

Some of the Seven Corporal Acts of Mercy =
Ransom, clothe, some cover, pastry, coffee.

Olly Alexander's Eurovision entry =
Really sexy routine? No, so darn vile.

If Britain's Labour Party wins the General Election? =
First, all pray, since we, the nation, are in big trouble.

FAVOURITE ABBA SONGS
(According to a poll of BBC Radio 2 listeners)
1. Dancing Queen
2. The Winner Takes It All
3. Thank You For The Music
4. Slipping Through My Fingers
5. The Day Before You Came
6. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)
7. Waterloo
8. Knowing Me, Knowing You
9. Super Trouper
10. Eagle
11. Mamma Mia
12. Fernando
13. Chiquitita
14. Voulez-Vous
15. SOS
16. The Name Of the Game
17. Take A Chance On Me
18. Does Your Mother Know
19. Lay All Your Love On Me
20. I Have A Dream
21. One Of Us
22. Angeleyes
23. Andante, Andante
24. Summer Night City
25. Money, Money, Money
26. My Love, My Life
27. Our Last Summer
28. Honey, Honey
29. The Visitors
30. Don't Shut Me Down
=
1. The nation's favourite teen
2. Emotive divorce theme
3. Abba fans' anthem.
4. Poignant mum/daughter song
5. Naff lyrics.
6. Female needs a macho hunk!
7. Won Eurovision
8. Last farewell
9. The show must go on!
10. Song takes me on a flight
11. My my, how can I resist it
12. 2 old revolutionaries reminisce
13. Ode to a broken friend
14. 'You want'?
15. Called: "Help!"
16. Does it mean anything to you?
17. Gamble on me.
18. You're so young
19. Gimme amour
20. My target? Feel enchantment
21. I miss you.
22. Hypnotic peepers
23. Go slow.
24. Lovemaking in the dark
25. Gimme mazuma (or a huge cheque!)
26. My one and only
27. Holiday romance
28. Yummy!
29. Quite a dark number
30. From 'Voyager'

A man and woman who'd never met before, and who were married to other partners, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train.
Although distinctly uneasy over having to share, they were both very tired, and had quickly dropped off to sleep...
He was in the upper bunk; she was in the lower bunk.
Shortly after midnight, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman, whispering, "I am sorry to bother you, but would you mind reaching into the bedside closet to get me a second blanket? I'm really cold."
"I've got a much better idea," she purred. "Just for this one night, let us pretend we're married to each other."
"Yes, yes! That's a great idea!" he replied delightedly.
"Right," she said. "In that case, find your own f**king blanket."
After a brief silence, he farted.
THE END
=
Rupert and Mabel met at the Senior Singles' Club where they soon discovered they quite enjoyed each other's company!
One day, after meeting up for the usual weekly tea dance, Rupert asked Mabel out to dinner. Much to his delight, she accepted immediately.
They dined at 'Pandora', the most romantic restaurant in town, where the pair had a lovely evening.
Afterwards, they went back to Rupert's for an informal after-dinner brandy. Things 'progressed' and, age being no barrier, they ended up in bed together.
Later, they basked in the mellow glow of the passionate moments they'd shared, each now lost in their own thoughts...
Rupert's thoughts were: 'Oh darn, if I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.'
Mabel's were: 'Oh darn, if I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off!'

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND
By
Carole King
When you're down and troubled
And you need some lovin' care
And nothin', nothin' is goin' right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin'
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend
If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door
You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes, I will
Now, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold?
They'll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them
You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes, I will
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend
Ain't it good to know, ain't it good to know
Ain't it good to know
You've got a friend
Oh, yeah, now, you've got a friend
Yeah baby, you've got a friend
Oh, yeah, you've got a friend
=
YOU'VE FOUND A LOVELY FRIEND
An Ode
(Told by Lenny)
When you're in the hallway
And you see that I'm not there
And you feel that things aren't really right
Close your eyes and think of me
Knowing I'm out here somewhere
Open the door and look into the night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll ignore you
And not give a damn
Winter, spring, summer or fall
I won't respond to your call
I'll ignore you, yeah
You've got a cat
Should the sky above you
Fall dark and I ain't home
I am out here stalkin' sneaky mice
No use you yellin'
Us bad dudes all need to roam
When I need food, I'll sneak back through the door.
Don't you yell out my name
'Cause you know wherever I am
Oh, I'll ignore you
And not give a damn
Winter, spring, summer or fall
I won't respond to your call
I'll ignore you, yeah I will
You've got a cat
Ah, it's good to venture out with feline friends
In search of baby birds to kill
Pooin' on our neighbours' gardens
And never, never on our own
But even if I'm busy...
You just yell out "Lenny!"
And you know wherever I am
I'll ignore you
And not give a damn
Winter, spring, summer or fall
I won't react to your call
I'll ignore you, yeah I will
Oh, you need a friend
But instead of that
Buddy, you have a cat
Ain't it good to know, you've got a cat
Ain't it good to know, good to know
Oh yeah, to know,
You've got a cat
Yeah, one fully-fed cat
One darling bundle of joy
Buddy, you've got a cat.

The gastroenteritis =
Regret I ate shit. Tons!

Very contagious disease =
Uneasy. Got a Covid series.

Our Congress forbids ~
crossing of US border.

Two-state solution =
Total woe; suits not.

Inappropriateness =
Inspire? Appears not!

Israeli Eurovision Contestant Eden Golan =
Our noted essential singer - national voice.

Classified docs in Trump bedroom =
Secrets? Doom, disdain from public!

Joseph Robinette Biden or Donald Trump? =
Er... bad problem. Just need third option, no?

The Doha talks =
Oh, task halted!

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton =
America confronts her sorry little fealty.

Emma Broyles =
A mere symbol.

Nicolas Maduro =
Unsocial or mad?

Paetongtarn Shinawatra =
Grant an Asian that power.

Australian English =
Aha...all using Strine!

Israel Defense Forces =
Leaders of fierceness.

Switzerland's Nemo breaks Eurovision Song Contest trophy
=
Viewer: "So, poorest non-binary klutz smashed strongest icon!"

Norway, Ireland and Spain say that they will recognize the Palestinian state, angering Israel. What does this mean?
=
Three that are in the West will try a plan, a new anti-Zionism angle...ignore any hostages, and any dispatched Israelis!

Noa Argamani, Almog Meir Jan, Andrey Kozlov and Shlomi Ziv
=
Hark, Zion is glad! Any live man a good man. Major Zion marvel!

Football - new craze began in Europe, mad gala craze (aura is aphasia!) in every country - participant or not! Every man and girl likes to kick ball and likes this game. Adults and children analysing : harsh augural target - Number I - ONE!

I.e., wait jerk! Sometimes a dream comes true, but we also need to aid it in perseverance, solemnity, infinite control of self and, last of all, added work and faith!

A tight corset =
Hot tits grace.

The Maine Coon =
One cat in home!