Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2001
1st - Earle Jones with:
Russian roulette =
Retries not usual.
eq.2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
After nine months =
Met her infant son.
eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Is anagramming addictive? =
I'm a victim; a sad, aging nerd...
David Bourke with:
A vasectomy operation ~
emancipates ovary, too.
Richard Grantham with:
Misinterpretations =
Pertain to ministers.
Adrian Hickford with:
Outlawing as lumpy ~
mulligatawny soup.
Adrian Hickford with:
Demented hero runs ~
one hundred metres.
Husband and Wife with:
A place in the sun ~
enhances a tulip.
Husband and Wife with:
The worst steak on the planet =
Stop the known leather taste!!!
Jaybur with:
Savoury omelette =
O my: let us overeat!
Jaybur with:
It's all in the mind =
He isn't ill, damn it!
Jaybur with:
Diesel train =
It needs rail.
Jaybur with:
Hair colourant =
Oo! rich, natural!
Jaybur with:
Closed purse =
Produce less.
Jaybur with:
Old war-horse =
A world's hero.
Meyran Kraus with:
Grilled Cheese on Toast =
Eat singed cholesterol.
Meyran Kraus with:
Regulating =
Get a ruling.
ID Letterman with:
Erectile dysfunction =
It is of cruel tendency.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Earth's life began in outer space =
Alien species began farther out.
Tom Myers with:
A motivational factor =
I'm for a total vacation!
Tom Myers with:
Sure as I write it ~
I swear it is true!
Tom Myers with:
Good education =
Do guidance too.
Tom Myers with:
A dangerous occupation =
A cop? O dear! Caution -- guns!
Tom Myers with:
A licensed midwife =
Medicine is flawed.
Tom Myers with:
After nine months =
The Mrs., one infant.
Rick Rothstein with:
A vasectomy operation? =
I say, "O! No! Caveat emptor!"
Rick Rothstein with:
Bombing raids =
Is morbid... BANG!
Rick Rothstein with:
Conspiracy theory =
A hypnotic sorcery.
Mick Tully with:
Banqueting suite =
Nut eating bisque?
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Charles Dickens's 'Oliver Twist' =
The classic writer's kids' novel!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman go their separate ways. =
Media are drawn to think Scientology's a prime cause.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Disney's 'Mary Poppins' with Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke =
Hi, kids! A super, madcap, windswept nanny: Kids enjoy devilry!
David Bourke with:
"It ain't over until the fat lady sings" =
Ah, listen! It's art, if ugly ten-ton diva!
Richard Grantham with:
Guillaume Apollinaire de Kostrowitsky =
Poem guy I know (Surrealist, a lot like Dali).
Husband and Wife with:
Spike Jones and The City Slickers =
Skips indecent jokes. Hysterical!
Jaybur with:
Thomas Hardy: "Tess of the d'Urbervilles" =
The sad tale of shy loves, births, murder.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Italian Films =
Still in the Mafia?
Janet Muggeridge with:
The Daily Execution Show =
Watch One Exit Hideously.
1st - Tom Myers with:
Israel: Sharon versus Barak =
Real risk! Has Arabs nervous!
2nd - David Bourke with:
Foot-and-Mouth Disease spreads in Great Britain... ~
Dead beasts in a pit - a ruined farmer's soon got hit.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Now thousands of farm animals are slaughtered =
Ugh! warn all farms foot-and-mouth disease's near.
Richard Brodie with:
Arnold Schwarzenegger plans to run for Governor of California =
Concern for a zero-power shortfalling? Annul error of Davis gang!
Don P. Fortier with:
Not many SuperBowl Thirty-five anagrams? =
Whoa! Ravens trample, if not bury, my Giants!
David A. Green with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman near to divorce? =
Romantic love ends in court. Media are in dock.
David A. Green with:
Roy Whiting is being held in police custody for the murder of schoolgirl Sarah Payne =
Bloody nonce ought to gas himself, right? We pray he dies horrifically in crude prison.
David A. Green with:
NEAR Shoemaker spaceprobe touches down on asteroid Eros =
NASA rocket photos show us barren, eerie, eroded moonscape.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Quebec premier quits as he accepts blame for separatist decline =
The Parti Quebecois seems epic camp: fierce quarrels and battles.
Jaybur with:
Google has acquired the Deja Usenet Service =
A search question: I haggle over use; dejected.
Paul Klenk with:
Hillary Legal Defense Fund =
Shall fuel legendary fiend.
Meyran Kraus with:
Be Your Valentine =
Inner beauty? Love!
Meyran Kraus with:
Iraqi Arabs charge Bush's attack, condemn it =
Quit rocking the casbah, American bastards!
Peter Morris with:
Napster settles =
Artless net pest.
Janet Muggeridge with:
The Alder Hey Hospital scandal =
Children deaths pay all, so hate.
Tom Myers with:
Kiss dump their percussionist =
Kids ship out minus Peter Criss.
Tom Myers with:
Orenthal Simpson gets arrested once again =
Threats? Road rage? Glasses? Nope -- I'm innocent!
Tom Myers with:
Submarine hits boat =
I am thrust in sea, bob.
Tom Myers with:
A Bichons Frises Wins the Westminster Dog Show =
Gross when bitch is one infested with ass worms.
Tom Myers with:
US Sub Hits Boat =
Bush sits about.
Tom Myers with:
The Ex-President =
Next? Deeper shit!
Mick Tully with:
Alder Hey Hospital =
I holler: "Death pays!"
Mick Tully with:
A Scottish lighthouse has been repainted as Mr Blobby! =
Bet a Brit Noel's Houseparty 'Gotcha!' is behind shambles...
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Snow White's Nasty Adventures', The X-Rated Video =
Sexy tart does in-and-out with the seven dwarves!
2nd - Tom Myers with:
A typical male thought process =
A hot phallic car to get me pussy.
3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
I am sitting on the toilet =
I meant to let go shit in it.
David Bourke with:
Enormous breasts? =
So use monster bra.
David Bourke with:
Peter Mandelson, the honourable member for Hartlepool =
The bender hopes to rent a bumhole for more all-male porn.
David Bourke with:
Intrauterine devices =
Retrieve, inside a cunt.
Don P. Fortier with:
Enormous breasts =
Orbs measure tons!
David A. Green with:
"The USSR salutes the fortitude of Miss Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman to fly in space" =
"Lift off! The mad Russian cosmonaut left Earth in Vostok. Yes, it's true - she wet her Slav panties!"
Meyran Kraus with:
Use an electric vibrator? =
A vertical boner is cuter...
Meyran Kraus with:
Diaper Rash =
Ah, arse-drip!
Richard Grantham with:
Tall, dark and handsome =
All naked and most hard.
Tom Myers with:
Tall, dark and handsome =
Tom's all naked and hard!
Tom Myers with:
I am suffering from flatulence =
I muffle, foul fragrance isn't me!
Tom Myers with:
Penis length doesn't matter =
Slight men's don't penetrate!
Tom Myers with:
I'm not sleeping on the wet spot =
Tom settling in spent whoopee.
Tom Myers with:
She puts out on the first date =
He hates to fund prostitutes.
Tom Myers with:
Rape and torture =
A rude porn treat.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The program includes: BONUS AMAZING FAT ABSORBER CAPSULES, THE
30-DAY WEIGHT REDUCTION PLAN, PROGRESS REPORT, AND MUCH MORE!!!
=
Spammer! Spammer! not so bright,
Zero, dog-dung, scrap of shite,
Churns out pretense bawling "BUY!!!!" -
Hear our call: Eat crap and die!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
vibrators,
stimulators,
bondage fantasy,
lotions & oils,
videos & dvds,
erotic clothing,
pleasure kits,
toys for men & women.
=
bits of dirt,
filthy cat,
naked-moron pics,
stale mayo,
'Survivor' videos,
grannie's undies,
Worst Motto balloons,
Lego sets.
eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
HOW TO TURN $6 INTO $6,000!! OR MUCH MORE!! =
Her motor-mouth in court now.
eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Nymphomaniacs Out of Control
Hardcore Adult Action
Live instant XXX action is right HERE
=
Hi!
Having to coax cash from horny, stupid man?
Learn to extract a lot.
I do excel in instruction.
David Bourke with:
us$299 here you are
http://casinofantasy.webjump.com
=
But why the crap spam?
See, for $299, YOU can join US, mate!
Paul Equinox Collins with:
Get a brand new, clean, credit file in 15 days or less...
Get the credit you deserve... =
Tender credit? Rot! Giving away feels better. I need *less* cash,
15-year-old dunce!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
T E S T I M O N I A L S *******
2nd - David Bourke with:
INCREASE the size of your breasts!
100% Satisfaction Guaranteed !!!
This revolutionary product has been used by thousands of women
in Europe.
Kept secret by top models, now available to anyone who wants to
improve their bust size.
This unique formula will make your breasts fuller and firmer.
"Thank you for this product. After just one week I could feel my bra tighten. It has now been 6 weeks and my bust size has increased 1.75 inches. My bust even looks healthier than my sister's, and she had breast implants. Thanks again." - Sally, Utah
We receive letters like this everyday - yours could be next.
Visit our Web Site at:
http://www.geocities.com/lookgreat2110
If our Web site is unavailable please call 1-316-262-4144.
To be removed from future mailings please click on the line below
and hit send.
mailto:nottoday13@hotmail.com
=
Hi! Tiny 31"/32" tits? Pack two weeny fried eggs?
- Try new unique 'Bazonga-Buster' - I bet you will need a heavy-duty
industrial over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder! Your new enormous
Double-E size wobbly whoppers will look like a dead-heat in a
Zeppelin race!
See a 10-11% increase a day! 10-11!
As used by the vastest of the vast:
- "Shee-it!! It seems ah now need a couple of tarpaulin sheets to cover mah little ole creamy milkchurns!" - Dolly Parton
- "Blimey, mate! 41"... 42"... 46"... 52"... 66"... me massive top-bollocks, they just carry on fuckin' growin', dahn't yer fink, eh?" - Barbara Windsor
- "I have such famous stacks now! Marvellous mammaries...70" stunners, dahling! Feel it!" - Lolo Ferrari
- "That IS nice! Now me breasts stretch out onto pages two and four, see!" - Samantha Fox
Be keen! Bust out, OK! It's time - visit the website this instant:
beautifulbristols@acefinetitties.com
3rd - Larry Brash with:
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!!
PIANO OWNERS - we offer a patented device that sits on your piano keyboard and allows you to play the piano immediately!!
For more detailed information click pianostick@excite.com type more info in the subject line! If we have reached you in error and you would like to be removed from our mailing list collinsus.com
=
Fuck me dead! You're a fool! What a load of old crap!
I believe it takes years to learn how to play piano, never in
six minutes with some silly gimmick.
First, will it teach me how to read music? No, stupid.
Let you learn tempo (i.e. be on cue)? Sorry, no, you dill!
Play Beethoven's Concerto in B Major in one day? Can it cope?
No, I feel it is an error, moron!
I'd be fucked if it did.
David Bourke with:
LONELY FARM GIRLS
Beast Fuckers
Amsterdam Beast Fest
Free Animal Sex
A Girl.....A horse.....a Litre of CUM
This Is One Wild Site
Updates Every Day.
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK
=
MORE STEAMY DUTCH LESBIAN TEAMWORK!
- Dungaree diesel-dykes
- False latex penises
- Vibrators
- Worrysome facial hair
- Sour feminist rants
- Real flat tits
- Guy-free
Larry Brash with:
Escucha, soy yo, soy la llama del vientre que ahoga la espera
del caminante, soy el niño que cae de un abismo a otro,
soy yo, recuerda.....me.... voy... a.... dormir...
=
You crave debauchery? Soooo... Easy! Queue here:
I am one cool gay, called Amos, and, I love to insert my penis
in my llama's arse and a racy queer lad, too.
Larry Brash with:
NOTICE TO BULK E-MAILERS: Pursuant to US Code, Title 47, Chapter
5, Subchapter II, p.227, any and all unsolicited email is subject
to an archival fee of $750 US. Emailing denotes acceptance of
terms.
HR 3113: $500/email, $50,000/incident for each spam received!
=
Beautiful idea! Finally deja.com announced: get hard on evil cunt spammers that make us usenet addicts' milieu horrible. I bill them $4,752,775:00 per offence.
THE once-ace service is total crap at present. 31,135,500 posts cut since April 2000. Ciao! Ciao!
Dan Fortier with:
First off, please read the entire text of this post before you
hit the "delete" button. I put a lot of work into trying
to explain everything just right so I'd appreciate it if you'd
hear me out.
=
For sending out spam, this plea to be treated politely is naive!
In truth, he should expect to be getting hit in the eye for it!
To jerkoff idiot: Eat our wet shit, you rat-fart! You ripoff expert!
1st - Richard Grantham with:
WOMEN
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart; knowing that knowledge is power. But know how
to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and
themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the
loss of a family member, even when it is an in-law.
They are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They can drive
you wild, would fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much
they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They
give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to those around
them.
And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the
same to people for whom you care.
MEN
Men are good at lifting heavy things and fixing stuff.
=
MEN
I'm proud to be a man. Men run this whole planet, you know, holding
positions of power throughout the world. That's just how it is,
honey.
Men have on average a higher level of intelligence than women. Men will always obtain higher marks in domains such as chemistry, physics and the higher reaches of mathematics. The most amazing feats of engineering and very finest works of art in the world were made by men, you know, and it was men who invented most of the torrent of handy products that we rely upon today.
Men are endowed with the most fabulous set of genitals. I know I am, anyway.
We're huger, faster, fitter, more physically powerful, and not held to ransom by our hormones; we have the ability to park, always achieve orgasm, have firm butts, look sexy in Lamborghinis, write better jokes, and then after all of that we have the civility to die at a reasonable age.
WOMEN
Women look good naked and they're fun to shag.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Once
more unto the breach, dear friends, once more
3rd - Jaybur with:
Martine McCutcheon
Catherine Zeta Douglas
Madonna
Kate Winslet
Jennifer Lopez
Davina McCall
Sophie Dahl
Isabella Rossellini
Geri Halliwell
Elle McPherson
=
Hello!
A dull, chapped, camel face.
Wrinkles... and acne, too.
Nineteen zits.
Massive chins.
Horrible jowls.
Hair in an armpit.
Damn cellulite.
Llama legs... NOT gazelle.
Cheerio!
David Bourke with:
A McDonald's Quarter-Pounder with cheese, fries, and a milkshake
=
Here, Ronald's crap, shit and sour wank had made me feel quite
sick!
Paul Equinox Collins with:
British Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon says the attacks in Iraq
had been a "proportionate response" to the increased
threat to allied aircraft. =
"Fiery blast on Iraq!" roared the corporate racist.
"Stab any! Shoot their kids! Create a hot fracas! Fire at
these, Pete, in England's defence!"... I hope not.
eq.1st - Larry Brash with:
Antonio Stradivarius of Cremona, Italy =
Famous or rare violins in an attic today?
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with: [An 18th century composer]
Giovanni Pergolesi =
I love opera singing!
3rd - David Bourke with:
Ariel Sharon =
Oh, ran Israel?
David Bourke with:
Mavourneen Arndt, Pomona College =
Complete anagram-lover undone, no?
Dan Fortier with:
Clarence Stucki =
An electric suck!
Richard Grantham with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman =
Mourn naked cinematic idols.
David A. Green with:
Albert Pierrepoint, the last official British executioner =
I tie Ruth Ellis aloft in the perfect noose. Barbaric exit. RIP.
Adrian Hickford with:
Ian Shatwell =
Anal whistle.
Husband and Wife with:
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans =
Nevada or yon, regardless.
Jaybur with:
Pinocchio =
O, chip icon!
Jaybur with:
Monsieur Silhouette =
So I'm the outline user.
Paul Klenk with:
Senator Hillary =
Another sly liar.
Tom Myers with:
George W. Bush and Tony Blair =
As we're both ugly and boring.
Rick Rothstein with:
Antonio Stradivarius =
Radiant... as in virtuoso.
Mick Tully with:
Patricia Hewitt MP =
I'm a pathetic twirp.
1st - Richard Brodie with:
The Palestine Liberation Organization =
Eager to ban, to annihilate, Zionist peril!
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Savoy Hotel =
Oh! love the stay!
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Where do I find "The Lost Mine"? =
It's in the middle of nowhere!
David Bourke with:
The Palestine Liberation Organisation =
"Is heritage not inalienable, patriot son?"
David Bourke with:
La Tour Eiffel =
I freefall out!
Meyran Kraus with:
Cardinal College =
Collared, angelic.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Bristol Suspension Bridge =
Iron's bungee drop - it's bliss!
Trifercate with:
United States of America =
It's a fine 'dream'. Cue toast!
Mick Tully with:
Milton Keynes campus =
Community seeks plan!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Did you know only these three motion pictures won the five most valuable and prestigious Academy Awards? =
'It Happened One Night': Mousy runaway heiress (diva Claudette Colbert) soaks a wonderful movie's witty mood.
'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest': Wild guy tries to start a mutiny in a madhouse. Movie is hard and bawdy, people!
'The Silence of the Lambs': A murderous, devouring Lecter (Hopkins) dupes a woody SWAT team on a way to divinity.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Five reasons why I ought to win the Set Category in the Anagrammy Awards =
One: I've near most of the swag. I'm wanting to try share with a heady, saucy RG.
Two: I am an utter narcissist and I want fame everywhere. Yo, go shag thy hog!
Three: I'm an anagram genius. Why vote for it? I say "Great codes", now that's why.
Four: I organise the show, that's why. More aggrandisement etc. Vanity away!
Five: Why? I'm a great guy, that's why. Modest, too. Arrogant ass! Hence, I earn win.
3rd - David Bourke with:
A list of just five of the most gruesome tyrants, evil dictators and bloodthirsty despots of all the twentieth century: =
1. Adolf Hitler: O-T-T nut. Strived to rid Germany of the last Jews by the Holocaust. One testis. "Mist!" - Very pissed-off total cunt.
2. Josef Stalin: It's that little Soviet cult nutter - got covered with the red bloodspot off of many Russian mystery deaths.
3. Slobodan Milosevic: The fatty's thieves enjoyed murdering Croats (tut tut!). If he lost power, still that dotty naff tosser.
4. Saddam Hussein: Oft set out for victory by his Jihad against West, lost most utterly. Don't let the little pervert off once.
5. Margaret Thatcher - Feisty old trout. Testy toff. Destroyed Malvinas ship just to win election. Loves self, doubt this not.
Richard Brodie with: [A palindrome]
"Reviled did I live," said I, "as evil I did deliver." =
Divisive livid ladies derided virile ideal.
Ill-advised, I divided silver; I veil dire aide.
I did sail; I've dire rivals; Idle I've lived, died.
I've laid evil ladies; I dived, did virile rides.
Devil is allied; I arrived; I did vie; devils die.
Dan Fortier with:
"3000 Miles to Graceland" =
3000 Actors Lie Mangled
3000 Lame Grins Located
3000 Anecdotes: All Grim
3000 Get Cinema Dollars
Don P. Fortier with:
USA President Abraham Lincoln =
All his: an emancipator's burden.
Absent American's in proud hall.
A sad, lean man, his republic torn.
A nation burns - Calm leadership.
Richard Grantham with:
Predestination =
"Arse to end in pit,"
a priest intoned.
Paul Klenk with:
United Nations =
Intent? Do U.S.A. in.
Not in U.S.A. End it!
Keith Lehman with:
Temptation Island =
Lead man points... Tit!
Tandem. To spin tail?
Instant media plot.
Mad plan on titties.
Janet Muggeridge with:
The last condom in the packet =
Do open the slick attachment.
Tip to handle that cock semen.
A man's potent... clothe the dick!
This month, leak NOT accepted.
Hast held potent cock in mate.
Janet Muggeridge with:
End of the relationship =
Hand her note: "Foe, I split!"
Poison her - left in death.
Phone to alert: "Finished!"
Tom Myers with:
White panties =
Stain with pee.
It's in wet heap.
The wipe stain.
Neat! Wipe shit!
Eat with penis.
Wipe the stain.
I went ape-shit.
Tom Myers with:
Soiled cotton panties =
Not too clean -- pissed it.
Colon -- it sent a deposit.
Deposits -- a lot. Not nice!
Its content? Ladies' poo.
Rick Rothstein with:
Sharon Wins by a Landslide =
Holy Land winner is badass.
Holy Lands said, "New brains".
Bland, windy sir... an asshole.
Rick Rothstein with:
Intrauterine devices =
Retrieved it! (nuisance)
Is true incentive dear.
Trendier in active use.
Deviances? Retire unit.
Interactive? Ruin seed.
Rick Rothstein with:
Iraq was hit, the US attack condemned =
Acquainted Sadam with rockets then.
A rich "Satan" wanted quickest method.
Rick Rothstein with:
The cardinal's biretta =
Red hat is intractable.
Able, strict... in a red hat.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Auto
Wreck
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
George
Meredith: Love in the Valley
3rd - Mike Keith with:
Apt,
Not Hidden, Tale (For a Minor) -- Lewis C.
David Bourke with:
The list of the five greatest, most creative rock bass guitarists
ever known, just in my personal (and somewhat biased) humble opinion:
=
1. John Entwistle (The Who) - Very loud, massive rig, incredible
tone, ever THE bassman's bassman... 'Sparks' is ART! "Fucking
out of it! (I am too!)" - Pete T.
=
2. Sir Paul James McCartney, of The Beatles. (With Wings in Seventies).
Suave, hot, but overlooked... famed as a top British M.O.R. singer.
Skint - NOT!
=
3. John McVie (Fleetwood Mac). Pop at maybe its best? - Invest
in his tasteful-as-ever, so-restrained basswork, like 'Rumours'
/ 'Tango In The Night'.
=
4. John Deacon - top songwriter (a bit regal). Very stiff (as
post-like). Music works: 'Another One Bites The Dust', (a must!),
'The Invisible Man', 'Save Me'.
=
5. Derek Smalls - He's the vast-moustachioed, heavy rock trouser-stuffer...
Spinal Tap mates even joining in sinister beat, in 'Big Bottom'.
Wow!
David Bourke with:
Candle
In The Wind 2001
Richard Brodie with:
[Eight quatrains from Edward Fitzgerald's translation of the Rubáiyát
of Omar Khayyám.]
AWAKE!
for Morning in the Bowl of Night
A
Book of Verses underneath the Bough
Then
to the rolling Heav'n itself I cried
The
Moving Finger writes; and, having writ
None
answer'd this; but after Silence spake
Alas,
that Spring should vanish with the Rose!
Oh,
plagued no more with Human or Divine
Do
you, within your little Hour of Grace
Mike Keith with:
Where
Lost Things Go
Mike Keith with:
The
Lamentations of Jeremiah, Chapter 3
Meyran Kraus with:
A poem by Christina Rossetti, anagrammed into a
paraphrase that is also an acrostic on the poet's name.
Meyran Kraus with:
A poem by Sylvia Plath, anagrammed into a
paraphrase that is also an acrostic on the poet's name.