MARCH 2004 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
A drunk Soviet has ~
the Russian vodka.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Dusty room =
Musty odor.

3rd - Paul Lusch with:
Intensive care =
I can't even rise!

David Bourke with:
Pornographic sites =
To a prig - censorship.

Larry Brash with:
The facio-maxillary surgeon ~
cuts hole, fixing my oral area.

Larry Brash with:
Spam removed and sender banned from further posts =
Brash demands advert-free forum. Prompts, "Send none!"

Joe Fathallah with:
The mother-in-law =
I'm the new harlot.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Insurance companies ~
can promise nuisance.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Leisure at spa =
It's a pleasure.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Serve prison =
Seven priors!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Nature film directors ~
must record life in art.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The nanotechnologist =
Chosen lot not giant, eh?

Jesse Frankovich with:
Find image ~
magnified.

Scott Gardner with:
A chocolate bar is ~
a batch o' calories!

Scott Gardner with:
A fool and his money are soon parted =
No, no! Poor daft men are so easily had!

Scott Gardner with:
A dog is a man's best friend =
"Fido" is grand beast's name.

Scott Gardner with:
It never rains but it pours =
A proverb is untrue, isn't it?

Scott Gardner with:
Great minds think alike =
Their talking? Same kind!

Toby Gottfried with:
Necessity is the mother of invention =
then no theory of incentive misses it.

Richard Grantham with:
Questionnaire =
As in, to enquire.

Adrian Hickford with:
A helmet =
Metal, eh?

Adrian Hickford with:
A serious mental illness =
I am Nelson! Sure, let's sail!

Adrian Hickford with:
Cleanses =
Less acne.

Adrian Hickford with:
The advertising campaigns =
Vast team in graphic design.

Jaybur with:
The old movies =
I loved them so!

Jaybur with:
How to remove those wrinkles =
We smooth over the work lines.

Jaybur with:
Fit Farm =
Firm Fat.

Jaybur with:
A sole and heel =
All need a shoe.

JNC with:
Resurrection of Christ =
Historic Force Returns.

JNC with:
In bed with a girl =
I be lad with grin.

JNC with:
Toke on lots of marijuana and get high =
Smoke on a joint, laugh and... ah, forget it!

Meyran Kraus with:
Septics =
Cesspit.

Paul Lusch with:
Bad fortune ~
aborted fun.

Paul Lusch with:
The fortune cookie says: ~
You are not sick of these.

Paul Lusch with:
Tambourine =
U beat on rim.

Paul Lusch with:
Doubting Thomas =
Bought saintdom.

Paul Lusch with:
Prosperous ‡
Poor purses.

Paul Lusch with:
Suits are best in ~
business attire.

Paul Lusch with:
Corporate downsizing =
...and citizens grow poor.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The renegade =
Near the edge.

Rozrat with:
Searchingly ‡
Shying clear.

View with:
Mother nature =
More than true.

View with:
The Cuban cigars =
Thus, a big cancer.

View with:
Claustrophobia =
Car, ship, loo - tabu.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Beethoven's Eroica Symphony =
Oh yes ... by the Vienna composer.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Elves end a war =
Eleven awards.

eq.3rd - Paul Lusch with:
Television news broadcast =
We scan bad, violent stories.

eq.3rd - David A. Green with:
The film 'Last Tango in Paris' by Bernardo Bertolucci =
Nice, albeit bog-filthy, picture stars Marlon Brando.

David Bourke with:
The actor Melvin Columcille Gerard Gibson =
Christ! Cruel ligament-cleaving! More blood!

Richard Brodie with:
The passion of The Christ by director Mel Gibson. =
Blood for the sinners? This became its copyright.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Mel Gibson's the Passion of the Christ =
Shots of the Messiah belong in script.

Scott Gardner with:
The Lord of the Rings =
Third of three's long!

Toby Gottfried with:
I could have danced all night =
Love cha-cha-ing until addled.

Jaybur with:
Mel Gibson's new movie, The Passion of The Christ =
Oh, I show them violent scenes…means big profits.

Jaybur with:
Dame Agatha Christie's 'Sleeping Murder' =
I detect a Miss Marple is engaged. Hurrah!

Jaybur with:
Leonardo da Vinci's painting, the 'Mona Lisa' =
Italian chap (not modern), and visage in oils.

Jaybur with:
Dame A. Christie =
Death is a crime.

Meyran Kraus with:
'The Passion of the Christ', a Mel Gibson feature =
His theatre gospel for a bunch of anti-Semites.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Agatha Christie's "Murder on the Orient Express" =
H. Poirot searched extreme rash guests in train!

View with:
Manchester United =
Ten in red. Such team!

View with:
Painter Fernand Leger =
Prefer "Engine-land" art.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Paul Pan with:
Spiritual leader Ahmed Ismail Yassin =
An Israeli raid slayed him, upset Islam.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Tony Blair meets Colonel Gaddafi =
"Fool coming!" stated Libyan leader.

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
The NCAA basketball tournament =
Take bets on annual March battle.

David Bourke with:
Madrid, the capital of Spain =
Daft train homicide appals.

David Bourke with:
The Palestinian Sheikh Ahmed Ismail Yassin =
Aha! The Yanks' spies' missile annihilated him.

David Bourke with:
The consultant brain surgeon Terence Hope =
Rebut a charge re: "stolen" soup then? Innocent.

Joe Fathallah with:
The New Labour Party =
The brutal weaponry.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Irish celebrating on Saint Patrick's Day =
A Catholic drinks any green spirits a bit.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Terror in Spain =
Train prisoner.

Toby Gottfried with:
Presidential election =
It laid open recent lies.

Jaybur with:
It is Saint Patrick's Day, seventeenth of March =
So, that event can make Irish friends act tipsy!

Meyran Kraus with:
Planet Mars =
Master Plan.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"So, would you like to go up to my flat for some coffee?" =
"To follow, I must see you offer a *good* ploy to fuck me."

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
Female impersonator =
Poofter remains male.

3rd - JNC with:
Women's menstrual cycles =
So, men screw a smelly cunt!

David Bourke with:
Brevia panty liners =
Invariably present!

David Bourke with:
The Cumin Club, Rochester =
Curries to clench the bum!

Joe Fathallah with:
Masturbation ~
on Maria's butt.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The very ambiguous genitalia =
I've got labia, yet I sure am hung!

Adrian Hickford with:
Hung like a horse =
A horn's, like, HUGE!

JNC with:
Simultaneously Orgasming =
Mutual groan, messy soiling.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Sexually transmitted diseases =
Tense, lust-raised malady exists!


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Famous director Steven Spielberg =
Genius observer created top films.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The broadcaster and writer Alistair Cooke =
Work abroad (across the Atlantic); retire; die.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The director Mel Gibson =
Begin to remodel Christ.

David Bourke with:
Monsieur Marc Dutroux =
Rumour in court: sex-mad.

Joe Fathallah with:
President George Bush =
The person is buggered.

Joe Fathallah with:
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
Tyrannical, horny, lethal snob.

Toby Gottfried with:
Marie Antoinette =
I'm inane - eat torte.

Jaybur with:
Thomas Cruise Mapother =
He's some actor: a triumph!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The director P. Jackson =
Think Oscar-projected.

View with:
Sir Stanley Matthews =
Means star with style.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Castle, knight, armour... =
King Arthur's Camelot.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Belgian Brandy Chocolates =
Best alcohol-bearing candy.

3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
The Socialist Party =
Its policy's a threat.

David Bourke with:
The National Council for Civil Liberties =
Blunt, vitriolic anarchic loonie-lefties.

Larry Brash with:
Lamborghini Countach =
Boom! Launching hit car!

Richard Brodie with:
National Endowment for the Arts =
It often honors new drama talent.

Joe Fathallah with:
The Daily Express =
Display sex there.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The College of Business Administration =
In essence, it is the big amount of dollars.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Environmental Protection Agency =
Men go to prevent non-clean city air.

Toby Gottfried with:
Environmental Protection Agency =
Innovate permanent recycling, too.

David A. Green with:
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis =
O, it clearly claims a sports hero.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Collection of Tragedies by William Shakespeare =
Weepy as I detail crises of Othello, Macbeth, King Lear...

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
England and America are two countries separated by the same language. =
Many can declare, "A sole, meager tongue wedges Britain and the USA apart."

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
McDonald's to phase out the "Supersize" fries and drinks =
That one franchise's zeroed in to address plump US kids.

David Bourke with:
'Eats, Shoots and Leaves - The Zero Tolerance Approach To Punctuation' by Lynne Truss =
It's to veto "apple's", erroneous lazy accent / colon abuse that hurt's / annoy's her. Pedant!

Larry Brash with:
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilisation in between. =
In fact, to me, we in USA treated this boy-lover, comic wit, Oscar Wilde, much better than anyone in Britain.

David A. Green with:
The International Association of Forensic Toxicologists =
I often toil to assign exact location of arsenic in his torso.

Adrian Hickford with:
"The one person in the United States of America who deserves to be laid off is George W. Bush."
John Kerry
=
"Senator John F. Kerredy's routine is so neat! I'd be pleased to vote for him as the new chief!"
George W. Bush

Jaybur with:
FAT (File Allocation Table; pr. "fat") A sort of index of where data is stored on a hard disk, used by the operating system. =
OBESE That is a more stark definition of extra large, drastically stuffed: how "fat" spreads... to an elephantoid body.

Alan Yoshioka with:
'Eats, Shoots and Leaves - The Zero Tolerance Approach To Punctuation' by Lynne Truss =
Try to observe latest tutor as she pounces on a colon put haphazardly in a sentence.


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
INTERNATIONAL LOTTO.

Sir/Madam,

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International program. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number 7696-645 with serial number 377-554 drew lucky numbers 7-14-6-18-31-45 which won in the 2nd category, you have been approved for a lump sum pay out of 6,000,000 (EUROS )
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

For security purposes, we advise that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

You are requested to contact our office to assist you with the claim and transfer of your winnings fund into your instructed account by acknowledging the receipt of this mail with the email address below.

internetlotto@netscape.net

Note that, all winnings must be claimed not later than two month starting from today, failure to respond to this mail before two months time from today, all unclaimed funds will be null and void.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs Mary Gillian.

=

Dear Madam,

Thank you for letting me know the wonderful news. It's terribly generous - a miraculous windfall of great fruitfulness!

Now, to put it bluntly, I didn't realise that I was even entered in a lottery. Finally, I now understand one of the numerous benefits of my email address being collected by spam robots.

Up until now, I believed what happened was that I would receive 6,600,000 emails a day on my computer, telling me how to instantly enlarge my narrow penis AND my breasts (at the same time); to help 16,500 deposed former Nigerian presidents and their families get $156,456,000 into my bank account; to buy Viagra, Valium and 777,390 other ridiculous drugs; a reminder when to vote in those notoriously criminal monthly Anagrammy Awards (03/2004); to download a virus from Microsoft (in error); and 1,824.000 other untruthful "Enter Now!" promotions, like 3457 illegal copies of anagram software.

I'm most circumspect about this type of crap. I empty it into the trash.

I can see that your Lotto is quite foolproof and there is no way that you could con me. Your corporation's strict protocols appear to be structured and conducted in a correct manner, and truthful above suspicion.

I'll send you my account details tomorrow, if you would send me a little cash advance first.

Larry Brash

 


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
(snippet from the FDA website)

Wireless telephones are hand-held phones with built-in antennas, often called cell, mobile, or PCS phones. These phones are popular with callers because they can be carried easily from place to place.

Wireless telephones are two-way radios. When you talk into a wireless telephone, it picks up your voice and converts the sound to radiofrequency energy (or radio waves). The radio waves travel through the air until they reach a receiver at a nearby base station. The base station then sends your call through the telephone network until it reaches the person you are calling.

=

(A late word of advice for the several naive dupes eager to use their new cell phone: Please be aware that you will usually conduct hundreds of calls quite like this one:)

Person A: Hello, Eric?
Person B: Hey, Warren? Is that you?
Person A: Hello? Eric, are you there?
Person B: I can't hear you very well. Get the antenna open.
Person A: It IS open. Wait- (moves nine feet to the left) Is this better?
Person B: Hello? Can you hear me?
Person A: Hardly. What the hell is that eerie static crud?! I hate this stupid device!
Person B: Calm down, Warren. Check the screen.
Person A: Alright, hang on.
Person B: What does it say?
Person A: It says low batte- {click}

 

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Anthem for Doomed Youth, by Wilfred Owen

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

eq.1st - Richard Grantham with:
[A quintuply-true anagram. The following two sets of element abbreviations are "equal" in several different ways - no prizes for guessing the first:]

H Li B Al Si P S Ar Ti Cr Mn Cu Ga Br Rb Zr Mo Tc Cd In Sn Te Ba La Ce Nd Eu Er Tm Yb Hf Ta Re Os Au Hg Pb Po Rn Pa Np Cm Bk Cf Md Rf Sg Hs Ds
=
He Be C F Ne Na Cl Ca Sc Co Ni Zn Ge As Kr Sr Nb Ru Rh Pd Ag Sb I Cs Pr Pm Sm Gd Tb Dy Ho Ir Pt Tl Bi At Fr Ra Ac U Pu Am Es Fm No Lr Db Bh Mt





[The second is also fairly well-worn territory by now: atomic numbers on each side add up to the same number.]

H1 + Li3 + B5 + Al13 + Si14 + P15 + S16 + Ar18 + Ti22 + Cr24 + Mn25 + Cu29 + Ga31 + Br35 + Rb37 + Zr40 + Mo42 + Tc43 + Cd48 + In49 + Sn50 + Te52 + Ba56 + La57 + Ce58 + Nd60 + Eu63 + Er68 + Tm69 + Yb70 + Hf72 + Ta73 + Re75 + Os76 + Au79 + Hg80 + Pb82 + Po84 + Rn86 + Pa91 + Np93 + Cm96 + Bk97 + Cf98 + Md101 + Rf104 + Sg106 + Hs108 + Ds110
=
He2 + Be4 + C6 + F9 + Ne10 + Na11 + Cl17 + Ca20 + Sc21 + Co27 + Ni28 + Zn30 + Ge32 + As33 + Kr36 + Sr38 + Nb41 + Ru44 + Rh45 + Pd46 + Ag47 + Sb51 + I53 + Cs55 + Pr59 + Pm61 + Sm62 + Gd64 + Tb65 + Dy66 + Ho67 + Ir77 + Pt78 + Tl81 + Bi83 + At85 + Fr87 + Ra88 + Ac89 + U92 + Pu94 + Am95 + Es99 + Fm100 + No102 + Lr103 + Db105 + Bh107 + Mt109

1 + 3 + 5 + 13 + 14 + 15 + 16 + 18 + 22 + 24 + 25 + 29 + 31 + 35 + 37 + 40 + 42 + 43 + 48 + 49 + 50 + 52 + 56 + 57 + 58 + 60 + 63 + 68 + 69 + 70 + 72 + 73 + 75 + 76 + 79 + 80 + 82 + 84 + 86 + 91 + 93 + 96 + 97 + 98 + 101 + 104 + 106 + 108 + 110
=
2 + 4 + 6 + 9 + 10 + 11 + 17 + 20 + 21 + 27 + 28 + 30 + 32 + 33 + 36 + 38 + 41 + 44 + 45 + 46 + 47 + 51 + 53 + 55 + 59 + 61 + 62 + 64 + 65 + 66 + 67 + 77 + 78 + 81 + 83 + 85 + 87 + 88 + 89 + 92 + 94 + 95 + 99 + 100 + 102 + 103 + 105 + 107 + 109
[= 2824]





[Thirdly, the digits of the above atomic numbers are also an anagram.]

1 3 5 1 3 1 4 1 5 1 6 1 8 2 2 2 4 2 5 2 9 3 1 3 5 3 7 4 0 4 2 4 3 4 8 4 9 5 0 5 2 5 6 5 7 5 8 6 0 6 3 6 8 6 9 7 0 7 2 7 3 7 5 7 6 7 9 8 0 8 2 8 4 8 6 9 1 9 3 9 6 9 7 9 8 1 0 1 1 0 4 1 0 6 1 0 8 1 1 0
=
2 4 6 9 1 0 1 1 1 7 2 0 2 1 2 7 2 8 3 0 3 2 3 3 3 6 3 8 4 1 4 4 4 5 4 6 4 7 5 1 5 3 5 5 5 9 6 1 6 2 6 4 6 5 6 6 6 7 7 7 7 8 8 1 8 3 8 5 8 7 8 8 8 9 9 2 9 4 9 5 9 9 1 0 0 1 0 2 1 0 3 1 0 5 1 0 7 1 0 9


[This is the largest possible set of element abbreviations that can possess the above properties, incidentally: 12 elements had to be dropped in order to make the total of every letter and digit an even number (thus able to be divided into two groups with identical letter and digit counts). Another set of the same size exists; I chose this one because it contains both the smallest (H) and largest officially named (Ds) elements.]




[Fourthly, it is possible to select an known isotope of each element such that the isotope numbers again add up. (Without going into too much detail, both for those who already know all this and for those whose heads are starting to spin, isotopes are different forms of an element - for instance, stable carbon-12 and radioactive carbon-14.) Each element with naturally-occurring isotopes is represented by its most common isotope (e.g. hydrogen-1 makes up 99.985% of hydrogen atoms), with one exception (99Ru instead of 102Ru); all other elements are represented by a known radioactive isotope, not necessarily the most common or stable.
The equivalence of both the atomic number sum and the isotope sum means that each group of isotopes below contains the same number of protons (2824) and the same number of neutrons (4078).]


1H + 7Li + 11B + 27Al + 32Si + 31P + 32S + 40Ar + 48Ti + 52Cr + 55Mn + 63Cu + 69Ga + 79Br + 85Rb + 90Zr + 95Tc + 98Mo + 114Cd + 113In + 120Sn + 126Te + 138Ba + 139La + 140Ce + 142Nd + 153Eu + 166Er + 169Tm + 174Yb + 180Hf + 181Ta + 185Re + 192Os + 197Au + 202Hg + 208Pb + 209Po + 215Rn + 231Pa + 234Np + 244Cm + 249Bk + 255Cf + 255Md + 255Rf + 265Sg + 264Hs + 272Ds
=
4He + 9Be + 12C + 19F + 20Ne + 23Na + 35Cl + 40Ca + 45Sc + 59Co + 58Ni + 64Zn + 74Ge + 75As + 84Kr + 88Sr + 93Nb + 99Ru + 103Rh + 106Pd + 107Ag + 121Sb + 127I + 133Cs + 141Pr + 151Pm + 152Sm + 158Gd + 159Tb + 164Dy + 165Ho + 193Ir + 195Pt + 205Tl + 209Bi + 211At + 211Fr + 227Ra + 228Ac + 238U + 246Pu + 243Am + 249Es + 251Fm + 256No + 258Lr + 263Db + 260Bh + 271Mt

1 + 7 + 11 + 27 + 32 + 31 + 32 + 40 + 48 + 52 + 55 + 63 + 69 + 79 + 85 + 90 + 95 + 98 + 114 + 113 + 120 + 126 + 138 + 139 + 140 + 142 + 153 + 166 + 169 + 174 + 180 + 181 + 185 + 192 + 197 + 202 + 208 + 209 + 215 + 231 + 234 + 244 + 249 + 255 + 255 + 255 + 265 + 264 + 272
=
4 + 9 + 12 + 19 + 20 + 23 + 35 + 40 + 45 + 59 + 58 + 64 + 74 + 75 + 84 + 88 + 93 + 99 + 103 + 106 + 107 + 121 + 127 + 133 + 141 + 151 + 152 + 158 + 159 + 164 + 165 + 193 + 195 + 205 + 209 + 211 + 211 + 227 + 228 + 238 + 246 + 243 + 249 + 251 + 256 + 258 + 263 + 260 + 271
[= 6902]





[Fifthly, the isotope sum is also a digit anagram. (This is why a two-digit isotope of Ru needed to be chosen in place of a three-digit one - otherwise there would have been an odd number of digits.)]

1 7 1 1 2 7 3 2 3 1 3 2 4 0 4 8 5 2 5 5 6 3 6 9 7 9 8 5 9 0 9 5 9 8 1 1 4 1 1 3 1 2 0 1 2 6 1 3 8 1 3 9 1 4 0 1 4 2 1 5 3 1 6 6 1 6 9 1 7 4 1 8 0 1 8 1 1 8 5 1 9 2 1 9 7 2 0 2 2 0 8 2 0 9 2 1 5 2 3 1 2 3 4 2 4 4 2 4 9 2 5 5 2 5 5 2 5 5 2 6 5 2 6 4 2 7 2
=
4 9 1 2 1 9 2 0 2 3 3 5 4 0 4 5 5 9 5 8 6 4 7 4 7 5 8 4 8 8 9 3 9 9 1 0 3 1 0 6 1 0 7 1 2 1 1 2 7 1 3 3 1 4 1 1 5 1 1 5 2 1 5 8 1 5 9 1 6 4 1 6 5 1 9 3 1 9 5 2 0 5 2 0 9 2 1 1 2 1 1 2 2 7 2 2 8 2 3 8 2 4 6 2 4 3 2 4 9 2 5 1 2 5 6 2 5 8 2 6 3 2 6 0 2 7 1

 

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[I saw fit to honor the Oscars, held a month ago, by extracting all 5 Best Picture nominees from the same base phrase. However, I couldn't ignore the Oscar's evil twin - The Golden Raspberry (or 'Razzie'), an award ceremony held 24 hours before the Oscars which dishonored the *worst* of 2003 cinema... The winners are at the bottom of each set.]

A list of the five films that are Academy Awards nominees in the Best Picture category: =
    A feisty MASTER AND COMMANDER gives life to the rich tale of the wisest captain Aubrey.
    Why, I see Murray's bit as a cheap-act made the gifted LOST IN TRANSLATION more effective.
    MYSTIC RIVER's genuine performances deal with that base idea of the state of calamity.
    View SEABISCUIT, my imperfect-yet-fine racehorse that ran to fame, against all the odds.
    A massive LORD OF THE RINGS finale piece, sated with beauty, came first at that ceremony.

A list of the five films nominated for the joke-award Golden Raspberry in the Worst Picture category: =
    Big, tragic Dr. Seuss rip-off CAT IN THE HAT transformed that loopy feline we love into a mere rowdy jerk.
    Another CHARLIE'S ANGELS trifle provided brisk joy of trampy women for the target audience of twits.
    At parts of FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, even the best 'American Idol' fan grew tired of its weird choreography.
    The MTV-style THE REAL CANCUN joined the merry parties of Spring Break for raw footage of wild idiots.
    Reporters' reviews of our winner GIGLI say that the attempt of Ben Affleck and J-Lo at comedy is horrid.

[Also, to make these a bit more appealing, the above anagram sets were shaped as the actual symbols of these award shows:]

 

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
[A quintuply-true anagram. The following is a list of Kentucky Derby winners, along with the year they raced and their winning time (times are rounded to whole minutes and seconds):]

2003 Funny Cide 2:01
1992 Lil E. Tee 2:03
1989 Sunday Silence 2:05
1976 Bold Forbes 2:01
1975 Foolish Pleasure 2:02
1952 Hill Gail 2:01
1951 Count Turf 2:02
1950 Middleground 2:01
1945 Hoop Jr. 2:07
1944 Pensive 2:04
1937 War Admiral 2:03
1935 Omaha 2:05
1927 Whiskery 2:06
1926 Bubbling Over 2:03
1916 George Smith 2:04
1909 Wintergreen 2:08
1895 Halma 2:37
1878 Day Star 2:37
=
2002 War Emblem 2:01
1999 Charismatic 2:03
1995 Thunder Gulch 2:01
1984 Swale 2:02
1978 Affirmed 2:01
1957 Iron Leige 2:02
1956 Needles 2:03
1955 Swaps 2:01
1947 Jet Pilot 2:06
1940 Gallahadion 2:05
1936 Bold Venture 2:03
1932 Burgoo King 2:05
1925 Flying Ebony 2:07
1921 Behave Yourself 2:04
1913 Donerail 2:04
1906 Sir Huon 2:08
1879 Lord Murphy 2:37
1875 Aristides 2:37


[(1) The horses' names in each group are an anagram of each other:]
Funny Cide + Lil E. Tee + Sunday Silence + Bold Forbes + Foolish Pleasure + Hill Gail + Count Turf + Middleground + Hoop Jr. + Pensive + War Admiral + Omaha + Whiskery + Bubbling Over + George Smith + Wintergreen + Halma + Day Star
=
War Emblem + Charismatic + Thunder Gulch + Swale + Affirmed + Iron Leige + Needles + Swaps + Jet Pilot + Gallahadion + Bold Venture + Burgoo King + Flying Ebony + Behave Yourself + Donerail + Sir Huon + Lord Murphy + Aristides


[(2) The years that the horses in each group raced are an anagram of each other:]
2003 + 1992 + 1989 + 1976 + 1975 + 1952 + 1951 + 1950 + 1945 + 1944 + 1937 + 1935 + 1927 + 1926 + 1916 + 1909 + 1895 + 1878
=
2002 + 1999 + 1995 + 1984 + 1978 + 1957 + 1956 + 1955 + 1947 + 1940 + 1936 + 1932 + 1925 + 1921 + 1913 + 1906 + 1879 + 1875


[(3) The years in each group add up to the same sum (a nice round number, in fact):]
2003 + 1992 + 1989 + 1976 + 1975 + 1952 + 1951 + 1950 + 1945 + 1944 + 1937 + 1935 + 1927 + 1926 + 1916 + 1909 + 1895 + 1878
=
2002 + 1999 + 1995 + 1984 + 1978 + 1957 + 1956 + 1955 + 1947 + 1940 + 1936 + 1932 + 1925 + 1921 + 1913 + 1906 + 1879 + 1875
[= 35000]


[(4) The times of the horses in each group are an anagram of each other:]
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:06 + 2:03 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37
=
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:06 + 2:05 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37


[(5) The horses in each group have the same total running time:]
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:06 + 2:03 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37
=
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:06 + 2:05 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37
[= 38:10]

 

Richard Grantham with:
[A quintuply-true anagram. 60 Melbourne Cup winners, including the very first winner from 1861, along with the year that they raced and their winning time (times are rounded to the nearest second):]

1861 Archer 3:52
1865 Toryboy 3:44
1875 Wollomai 3:38
1876 Briseis 3:36
1878 Calamia 3:36
1885 Sheet Anchor 3:29
1889 Bravo 3:33
1896 Newhaven 3:29
1897 Gaulus 3:31
1898 The Grafter 3:30
1901 Revenue 3:31
1908 Lord Nolan 3:29
1909 Prince Foote 3:27
1916 Sasanof 3:28
1917 Westcourt 3:27
1921 Sister Olive 3:28
1923 Bitalli 3:24
1926 Spearfelt 3:22
1934 Peter Pan 3:41
1937 The Trump 3:22
1941 Skipton 3:24
1945 Rainbird 3:24
1951 Delta 3:24
1953 Wodalla 3:24
1959 MacDougall 3:23
1962 Even Stevens 3:21
1966 Galilee 3:22
1972 Piping Lane 3:19
1975 Think Big 3:30
1997 Might and Power 3:18
=
1864 Lantern 3:52
1866 The Barb 3:43
1868 Glencoe 3:42
1871 The Pearl 3:39
1877 Chester 3:34
1879 Darriwell 3:31
1887 Dunlop 3:29
1891 Malvolio 3:29
1893 Tarcoola 3:31
1899 Merriwee 3:36
1905 Blue Spec 3:28
1906 Poseidon 3:32
1907 Apologue 3:28
1911 The Parisian 3:28
1912 Piastre 3:27
1925 Windbag 3:22
1927 Trivalve 3:24
1928 Statesman 3:24
1931 White Nose 3:26
1935 Marabou 3:24
1942 Colonus 3:34
1943 Dark Felt 3:23
1955 Toparoa 3:28
1956 Evening Peal 3:20
1958 Baystone 3:21
1965 Light Fingers 3:21
1971 Silver Knight 3:20
1976 Van Der Hum 3:34
1989 Tawriffic 3:17
1996 Saintly 3:19


[Letters are an anagram:]
Archer + Toryboy + Wollomai + Briseis + Calamia + Sheet Anchor + Bravo + Newhaven + Gaulus + The Grafter + Revenue + Lord Nolan + Prince Foote + Sasanof + Westcourt + Sister Olive + Bitalli + Spearfelt + Peter Pan + The Trump + Skipton + Rainbird + Delta + Wodalla + MacDougall + Even Stevens + Galilee + Piping Lane + Think Big + Might and Power
=
Lantern + The Barb + Glencoe + The Pearl + Chester + Darriwell + Dunlop + Malvolio + Tarcoola + Merriwee + Blue Spec + Poseidon + Apologue + The Parisian + Piastre + Windbag + Trivalve + Statesman + White Nose + Marabou + Colonus + Dark Felt + Toparoa + Evening Peal + Baystone + Light Fingers + Silver Knight + Van Der Hum + Tawriffic + Saintly


[Years add up:]
1861 + 1865 + 1875 + 1876 + 1878 + 1885 + 1889 + 1896 + 1897 + 1898 + 1901 + 1908 + 1909 + 1916 + 1917 + 1921 + 1923 + 1926 + 1934 + 1937 + 1941 + 1945 + 1951 + 1953 + 1959 + 1962 + 1966 + 1972 + 1975 + 1997
=
1864 + 1866 + 1868 + 1871 + 1877 + 1879 + 1887 + 1891 + 1893 + 1899 + 1905 + 1906 + 1907 + 1911 + 1912 + 1925 + 1927 + 1928 + 1931 + 1935 + 1942 + 1943 + 1955 + 1956 + 1958 + 1965 + 1971 + 1976 + 1989 + 1996
[= 57633]


[Year digits are an anagram:]
1 8 6 1 1 8 6 5 1 8 7 5 1 8 7 6 1 8 7 8 1 8 8 5 1 8 8 9 1 8 9 6 1 8 9 7 1 8 9 8 1 9 0 1 1 9 0 8 1 9 0 9 1 9 1 6 1 9 1 7 1 9 2 1 1 9 2 3 1 9 2 6 1 9 3 4 1 9 3 7 1 9 4 1 1 9 4 5 1 9 5 1 1 9 5 3 1 9 5 9 1 9 6 2 1 9 6 6 1 9 7 2 1 9 7 5 1 9 9 7
=
1 8 6 4 1 8 6 6 1 8 6 8 1 8 7 1 1 8 7 7 1 8 7 9 1 8 8 7 1 8 9 1 1 8 9 3 1 8 9 9 1 9 0 5 1 9 0 6 1 9 0 7 1 9 1 1 1 9 1 2 1 9 2 5 1 9 2 7 1 9 2 8 1 9 3 1 1 9 3 5 1 9 4 2 1 9 4 3 1 9 5 5 1 9 5 6 1 9 5 8 1 9 6 5 1 9 7 1 1 9 7 6 1 9 8 9 1 9 9 6


[Times add up:]
3:52 + 3:44 + 3:38 + 3:36 + 3:36 + 3:29 + 3:33 + 3:29 + 3:31 + 3:30 + 3:31 + 3:29 + 3:27 + 3:28 + 3:27 + 3:28 + 3:24 + 3:22 + 3:41 + 3:22 + 3:24 + 3:24 + 3:24 + 3:24 + 3:23 + 3:21 + 3:22 + 3:19 + 3:30 + 3:18
=
3:52 + 3:43 + 3:42 + 3:39 + 3:34 + 3:31 + 3:29 + 3:29 + 3:31 + 3:36 + 3:28 + 3:32 + 3:28 + 3:28 + 3:27 + 3:22 + 3:24 + 3:24 + 3:26 + 3:24 + 3:34 + 3:23 + 3:28 + 3:20 + 3:21 + 3:21 + 3:20 + 3:34 + 3:17 + 3:19
[= 1:44:26]


[Time digits are an anagram:]
3 5 2 3 4 4 3 3 8 3 3 6 3 3 6 3 2 9 3 3 3 3 2 9 3 3 1 3 3 0 3 3 1 3 2 9 3 2 7 3 2 8 3 2 7 3 2 8 3 2 4 3 2 2 3 4 1 3 2 2 3 2 4 3 2 4 3 2 4 3 2 4 3 2 3 3 2 1 3 2 2 3 1 9 3 3 0 3 1 8
=
3 5 2 3 4 3 3 4 2 3 3 9 3 3 4 3 3 1 3 2 9 3 2 9 3 3 1 3 3 6 3 2 8 3 3 2 3 2 8 3 2 8 3 2 7 3 2 2 3 2 4 3 2 4 3 2 6 3 2 4 3 3 4 3 2 3 3 2 8 3 2 0 3 2 1 3 2 1 3 2 0 3 3 4 3 1 7 3 1 9

 

Joe Fathallah with:
LostProphets: Last Train Home

 

Adrian Hickford with:
The Question, by Rachel Annand Taylor

 


THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

This month's Challenge was to anagram
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."


1st - David Bourke with:
That is *a* way...another's ammo through his chest!

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
I am hungry. Ah, that taste! She is worth a smooch.

3rd - Jaybur with:
A wise thought: tho' her anatomy has its charms.

David Bourke with:
Ham, oats, a hot curry... then she waits to shag him.

David Bourke with:
"Cheesy Wotsits, Mr. Grantham?"... It's out: "Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh!"

Larry Brash with:
Woman's high aim: Oh, such tasty threats are hot!

Larry Brash with:
This shows that her hot meat is a charm on a guy.

Larry Brash with:
A hot rich mutton stew says to him, "Aah, shag her!"

Larry Brash with:
Hah! It's a sham, a myth! I got to screw her hot anus!

Dan Fortier with:
Yes a short woman has high aim, cuts the throat.

Don P. Fortier with:
Her ass has my mouth in it? Oh that's a great chow!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Thoughts arise to eat corn, yams, ham with hash...

Jesse Frankovich with:
He sought to eat many carrots with Amish hash.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Wish to eat that hot cream hash, as I'm so hungry.

Jesse Frankovich with:
What is a mouth? This here's a gastronomy hatch!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The mouth area -- this was his gastronomy hatch.

Jesse Frankovich with:
~ with the mouth's area as his gastronomy hatch.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Eat that mushy hash, rise to shag. How romantic!

Jesse Frankovich with:
How romantic a sight that she heats your hams.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Oh, why, it's romantic that she roasts a huge ham.

Jesse Frankovich with:
I say, mate, her hot snatch is worth a mouth-shag!

Jesse Frankovich with:
My huge ass or her hot tits? Aahh, it was no match.

Scott Gardner with:
Ah, it says charm a man through his sweet tooth?

Toby Gottfried with:
That says, "What charms him? Oh Sir, enough to eat!"

Toby Gottfried with:
His throat is as angry as the mouth to chew ham.

Toby Gottfried with:
The homey roast mash was caught in his throat.

Toby Gottfried with:
Yeah - those cutthroat anagrams show him this!

Toby Gottfried with:
Oh, watch him as his thoughts yearn roast meat.

Toby Gottfried with:
Say "Hi!" to romance thoughts: eat this warm hash.

Toby Gottfried with:
Thus what charms him? Oh yes, eating a hot roast.

Toby Gottfried with:
Oh, horny as he was, Christmas taught him to eat.

Toby Gottfried with:
His romantic thoughts: they are a sham. So what?

Toby Gottfried with:
His "romantic" thoughts were "Oh! Assay that ham!"

Richard Grantham with:
...that, or some say smash in with a rough hatchet.

David A. Green with:
Hah hah! The waitress has romantic motto, guys.

Adrian Hickford with:
Ah! So he associates 'hungry' with 'a hot tart'? Hmm!

Adrian Hickford with:
Show a huge honey-roast ham: this attracts him.

Adrian Hickford with:
"Am I to shag that raunchy waitress, hm?" he hoots.

Jaybur with:
Aha! that hostess romances him with a yoghurt!

Jaybur with:
He says that a woman ought to cherish him - rats!

Jaybur with:
A mother's hunch is so right: that's *a* way - at home.

Meyran Kraus with:
Oh, test it on a chum who has a rather mighty ass!

Allan Morley with:
Hah! I say that it's more through a woman's chest.

Paul Pan with:
A-hah! The honey sugar tart woos this mismatch!

Paul Pan with:
Aha! Oyster, not thighs & mascara, whet his mouth.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
It's a noteworthy thought (as aim, she has charm!)

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Noteworthy thought, Sir... As aim, she has a match!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The most wish coitus, rather than, say, a hog-ham!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Ragout thrashes machismo, honest! Haha, witty!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
What? A yogurt thrashes hesitant machismo? Oh.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Ham? Another strategy: most wish coitus! Hahah!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Haha! Great. Many (the most) wish rash, hot coitus!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Most are horny, hate ham, wish that shag/coitus!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Haha! She soon attracts him with yogurt! Shame!

Rozrat with:
Ah, myth! Has a romantic ass thought otherwise?

Rozrat with:
A mushroom stew? Hot shit!! Shag a certainty. A-h-h!

View with:
Woman must roast to reach his high, hasty heat.

View with:
or Woman must set hash to get his 'charity' (ha, ha!).

View with:
Oh, mighty! Attraction + amour = Hash + sweets + hash.

View with:
Oh, mighty! Sweets attraction + amour = Hash + hash.

View with:
So, than, his meat = her coitus & orgasm. Why that, ah?

View with:
Huh, hah!!! Is myths! To get woman, sir, attach a rose.

View with:
Theories, myth. Smart cuts his own goat (ha, ha, ha!).

View with:
That is matriarchy; womans house - hash ghetto.

View with:
Re: She roasts to hug him... Anyhow, is that a match?

View with:
Her hot ragout with his hot amah = man's ecstasy.

View with:
Ah, the woman must roast to reach his... stay high!

View with:
The woman must roast to reach his "ah" stay high.

View with:
Ah, his hot cutty, stew & hash - an smooth marriage!

View with:
Honest mathematic ratio's - worth guy/has hash.

View with:
The matrimony has his cost - ragout, stew (ha, hah!).

View with:
A hit, smartest, erotic woman = Guy & hash (hot hash).

View with:
A hot ass, thighs, tits are how you charm the man.

View with:
Cherish your man, miss! Get hot hash to a twat, ha!?


The Anagrammy Awards