Anagrammy Awards >Anagrammy Archives > 2006
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Religious fundamentalist =
Futile rituals in God's name.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Traditional wedding ceremonies =
Two declaring "I do" need a minister.
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned =
Her hormones can kill any who default!
aussie battler with:
Sustained =
Sent us aid.
David Bourke with:
The ideal woman =
"I am down-at-heel!"
David Bourke with:
Waterboarding =
Nadir to GWB era.
Larry Brash with:
Recuperating from a mastectomy =
Urge to first accept one mammary.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Reality television shows ~
allow the visitor's eyes in.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Canned item ~
came tinned.
Andrew Brehaut with:
An Argentine man shouted ~
"The Andes mountain range!"
Andrew Brehaut with:
If a lion is crossed with a tiger, ~
I find a cat who is to sire ligers.
Andrew Brehaut with:
A visit from the inlaws =
Man waits for this evil.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Safety in numbers ~
bemuses infantry.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Nudist beaches =
Suit can be shed.
Tony Crafter with:
Aged nerd ~
gardened.
Tony Crafter with:
No, I disagree =
Ignores idea.
Tony Crafter with:
Hidden artifact =
I hand-crafted it.
Tony Crafter with:
La plume de ma tante est sur le bureau de mon oncle. =
Rude uncle Leo stole aunt Mabel's pen. True, madame!
Richard Grantham with:
Computer games =
Get mouse cramp.
Richard Grantham with:
Religious fundamentalist =
I fuel dangerous militants.
Richard Grantham with:
A domestic shorthair ‡
He is a most horrid cat.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Social network =
Lot I know cares.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Separation of Church and State =
That sacred-profane hiatus con!
Paul Pan with:
Italian lovers =
Alas, not virile.
Paul Pan with:
Tongue piercings =
Pin gouges cretin.
Rosie Perera with:
A boy from Bangladesh lives on the ~
Bay of Bengal, and loves his mother.
Rosie Perera with:
Giving the children up for adoption =
I can't provide food in hunger plight.
Rosie Perera with:
Maintenance of motor vehicles =
No, not me! Leave it for mechanics.
Rosie Perera with:
Separation of church and state =
Pardon our atheists? Fat chance!
Rosie Perera with:
Separation of Church and State =
Fact: US can't honor a head priest.
Rosie Perera with:
The separation of Church and State =
Reproach those hated fanatic nuts!
Rosie Perera with:
Recuperating from the mastectomy =
Remain at computer; forget my chest.
Neil Ramsay with:
Trampolines =
Minors leapt.
Neil Ramsay with:
Skateboarders ~
soared at kerbs.
Neil Ramsay with:
I can rest legs in ~
reclining seats.
Neil Ramsay with:
US reclaims ~
secularism?
Neil Ramsay with:
Lycanthropes ‡
(not) Help! Scary!
Don Rogers with:
Separation of Church and State =
Ha! It cannot persuade Ashcroft!
Rick Rothstein with:
Hard up? Less costs? Hint... ~
student scholarships.
Rick Rothstein with:
A Freudian slip ~
is painful, dear.
Rick Rothstein with:
I appear so fat in ~
a pair of panties.
Rick Rothstein with:
A gun might begin ~
big game hunting.
Christopher Sturdy with:
A holy bible tells us the righteousness of God ~
but selfish George Bush heeds only oil totals.
View with:
The lost city of Atlantis =
Honestly, is it total fact?
Alan Yoshioka with:
Separation of church and state =
Thousands panic, fear "theocrat".
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise =
The finest skipper in Star Trek, a major space hit.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 'Cappella Sistina' frescoes =
Sit speechless in a place of art.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The Disneyland Resort at Anaheim, California =
Children’s hearts at one in a fairy-tale domain.
David Bourke with:
The Devil Wears Prada =
Streep had 'vile' award!
David Bourke with:
Miranda Priestly =
Meryl in said part.
David Bourke with:
Al Gore's movie 'An Inconvenient Truth' =
So, cut in environmental overheating?
Larry Brash with:
The Australian Idol Finals =
Hell! "Star" fails an audition!
Andrew Brehaut with:
The teen television show "Australian Idol" =
These lone artists will have one audition.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit =
Now includes sad rape victim trial.
Tony Crafter with:
Charlotte Bronte's famous novel Jane Eyre =
Fortunate man Rochester's enjoyable love.
Scott Gardner with:
"A Modest Proposal," by Jonathan Swift =
What?! Plan to enjoy brats/imps as food?!
Richard Grantham with:
Monty Python and The Holy Grail =
Play on another old myth thingy.
Adrian Hickford with:
The Cole Porter stage musical 'Kiss Me, Kate' =
Local Shakespeare? I must get more tickets!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai =
Hey, ace Indian lass first in the Booker!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift =
Savant writer's volubly half-jesting.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Hollywood Actor Harrison Ford =
No Oscar for wholly horrid toad
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
In The Wee Small Hours Of the Morning =
A fresh moon rules the night owl in me.
Rosie Perera with:
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme =
Yet, S & G merely say a random phrase.
Rosie Perera with:
Mary Poppins, by author P.L. (Pamela Lyndon) Travers ~
portrayed happy nanny's pivotal umbrella romps.
Rosie Perera with:
The Little Engine That Could =
Get that unit elected on Hill!
Rosie Perera with:
United Feature Syndicate's "Dilbert" cartoon =
It's one dotard frustrated in a teeny cubicle.
Neil Ramsay with:
Scotland's footballing heroes =
goal beats old French into loss.
Neil Ramsay with:
A Nightmare on Elm Street =
Her rotten mental images.
Don Rogers with:
Memento =
Me / Not me.
Don Rogers with:
Donnie Darko =
A dork done in.
Rick Rothstein with:
The William Tell Overture =
A, well, true emotive thrill.
Rick Rothstein with:
The pop superstar Madonna Louise Ciccone ~
chose to adopt non-american; curses pile up.
View with:
Call Me When You're Sober, ~
my new beer\alcohol user!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A question to G.W. that he prefers to ignore: ~
When are these troops getting out of iraq?
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Republican Congressman Mark Foley ~
prefers young, macho, black male interns.
eq3rd - Richard Grantham with:
The nuclear test in North Korea =
Intolerant nut has rocket here.
eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Islamic Fundamentalism =
Muslim fanatic's mad line.
David Bourke with:
The pop star Madonna Louise Ciccone =
I plan cretinous "Adopt-A-Coon" scheme!
Andrew Brehaut with:
North Korea carries out first nuclear tests =
Rockets race to further strain US relations.
Andrew Brehaut with:
George Bush's in the Oval Office =
He's chief stooge? Unforgivable!
Dan Fortier with:
James Bertakis =
A strike jabs me.
Scott Gardner with:
Halloween tRick Rothstein-or-treaters =
Witch, skeleton... a real terror!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Republican Congressman Mark Foley =
Gent in fake moral calm preys on cherubs.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
California lettuce =
Fault in E. Coli trace.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Dow Jones Industrial Average =
Twelve thousand's a grade I rejoin.
Rosie Perera with:
Spaceport America (Eric Knight, CEO) =
An imprecise rocket. Ha! Go practice!
Rosie Perera with:
Forty-thousand anagram posts =
Grantham's top forays astound.
Rosie Perera with:
Dow Jones Average approaches twelve thousand =
Advantage? Pooh! A phase. We just love new records.
Rosie Perera with:
The InSinkErator garbage disposal =
Girl pokes a bare hand into its gears.
Rosie Perera with:
Former South African President P.W. Botha =
Corrupt apartheid man withers off bones.
Rosie Perera with:
The old parachutist whose chute failed to open =
Watch out! See, poor untied chap fell to his death.
Neil Ramsay with:
Bush acknowledges Iraq comparison with Vietnam War =
Ha! Quit now Warmonger, so we can help Arab victims kids.
Don Rogers with:
President of Israel Moshe Katsav =
Admit his rape, lose Knesset favor.
View with:
iPod turns five =
It provides fun.
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The President of the United States of America =
Incompetent, hated head of state terrifies us.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The American President George W. Bush =
We can agree he's not bright, I'd presume?
3rd - lawyer2U with:
Mel Gibson =
Gin slob? Me?
David Bourke with:
Nicholas Herbert =
A horrible stench!
David Bourke with:
Worried of Sevenoaks =
As if one' s over-worked!
Tony Crafter with:
The singer Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll =
Boasting remarkable hip-arse skill, I hear.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Gloria Steinem =
I'm no tease girl.
Rosie Perera with:
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton =
Shrill Democrat ran nation? Holy ****!
Rosie Perera with:
Israeli President Moshe Katsav =
He is one marked as vilest rapist.
Neil Ramsay with:
Sir Paul McCartney ‡
pays current claim.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Hollywood Actor Harrison Ford =
Ah! Too old and rich for worthy roles.
Rick Rothstein with:
Gloria Steinem =
I'm not a 'girl', see?
Christopher Sturdy with:
Chad Hurley and Steve Chen =
hey, each launched nerds' TV.
View with:
Marcus Banks =
NBA arm sucks.
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The Gideons International =
An interest in God in a hotel.
2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
The Americans' Central Intelligence Agency =
An ethically negligent menace since Carter.
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The International Gender Dysphoria Association =
An operation, since son had other identity as a girl.
Sir T. Aucscua with:
Ferrari Testarossa =
Roars; tires are fast.
Andrew Brehaut with:
I named nature's giant hilly Asian phenomena ~
inside Nepal "The Himalayan Mountain Ranges."
Andrew Brehaut with:
Sydney Harbour =
Hydrous nearby.
Tony Crafter with:
The Charles Darwin Research Institute =
Natural science thirst is the draw here.
Scott Gardner with:
Palais Garnier =
Regal & Parisian.
Scott Gardner with:
The Musee D'Orsay in Paris =
My! Has Europe's art inside!
Richard Grantham with:
White Australia Policy =
I outlaw his racial type.
Richard Grantham with:
The separation of Church and State ‡
Shift a senator, put the archdeacon.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Disneyland park =
Kids ran, then played.
Meyran Kraus with:
Disney Theme Park =
Payment here, kids!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Musee d'Orsay in Paris ~
is dreamy painters' house
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Gay Liberation Front =
Neat boy ain't for girl.
Rosie Perera with:
Niels Bohr Institute, Copenhagen =
Teleporting sunshine into beach.
Rosie Perera with:
Anagram Genius by William Tunstall-Pedoe ~
let all manipulate big words in a guy's name.
Rosie Perera with:
The Social Work Department ~
likes to protect when drama.
Rosie Perera with:
The separation of Church and State =
Don't push the Creation as fact, hear?
Neil Ramsay with:
Ten Downing Street ~
tends to get winner.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Social Work Department =
Team-centred hospital work.
Rick Rothstein with:
Intel Corporation =
Icon interpolator?
View with:
Islamabad =
A bad Islam.
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A ham sandwich goes into a bar and the bartender declares "We don't serve any food here." =
A horse wandered into a bar. Soon the bartender came, served and said "Why the long face?"
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
"The most successful politician is he who says what everybody is thinking most often and in the loudest voice." =
Call me a cynic, but I dispute this. In my eyes, the know-nothings, or show-offs, have the loudest voices. Sad, is it not?
3rd - Larry Brash with:
The five dead Amish schoolgirls: Naomi Rose Ebersole, Marian Fisher, Mary Liz and Lena Miller, and Anna Mae Stoltzfus =
A vile man Charles Roberts, in a frenzied male-mania, seizes our girls, held in a room, and slays a lot of them, and himself.
Tony Crafter with:
The Church and Convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milano, Italy =
One can see that amazing Leonardo da Vinci mural ... I fancy the thrill!
Tony Crafter with:
Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney's divorce is getting nasty! =
Devil-lady's hysterics tarnishing Mr. Macca's gentle reputation?
Meyran Kraus with:
The singer Madonna Louise Ciccone-Ritchie takes in a baby from Malawi named 'David' =
Damn, I've imagined that fine boy with a basic American name... like Lourdes' and Rocco's.
Rosie Perera with:
"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." -- General Robert E. Lee =
Oh, it's too late, Lee. We're all worried. Belligerent terrorist G.W. Bush is too fond of war!
Rosie Perera with:
"We shouldn't fear a world that is more interacted." George W. Bush =
But we should fear a terrorist who, engaged, can smite the world.
Rosie Perera with:
Chinese delicacies:
dog's penis
deer-blood and vodka cocktail
bull's perineum
aborted reindeer foetus =
No thanks! I prefer (and love to eat) delicious edibles: ice cream, cakes, pudding, boiled noodles, curds, beer.
Neil Ramsay with:
Tolkiens masterpiece The Lord Of The Rings trilogy condensed for you. =
Loyal Frodo destroys The Ring. The King's fit to rule once more. Epic ends.
Neil Ramsay with:
George W Bush said : "You know one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror". =
"To War". To quote from a redneck cretin whose boorish father enjoyed starting phony , bogus wars too.
Neil Ramsay with:
One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all =
Sure, let us join together and vilify idiotic, blind war on Bin Laden.
Rick Rothstein with:
Now tell me, what is the real purpose of the training bra? ~
It's for when her tits begin to appear (men howl at allure).
1st - Tony Crafter with:
An undertaker was working alone late one night.
He laid out the body of Mr. Lunge for its cremation, and made a startling discovery. Lunge had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"Sorry Mr. Lunge ," the mortician sighed, "but I just cannot allow you to be cremated with such an incredible private part. It has to be saved for posterity."
So he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"Honey, I've something to show you that you will not believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"Good Heavens" the wife yelled, "Lunge is dead!"
=
A cardiologist died and was given a very elaborate funeral. A massive heart, covered in beautiful flowers, stood in view behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart eerily opened up and the casket moved inside. The big heart then closed up, sealing the doctor's body forever inside its ideal home.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into impolite laughter. When everyone stared at him, he said, "Oh boy! ... I am sorry, but I was just thinking of my own funeral ... I'm a gynaecologist!"
That's when the proctologist fainted.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Three businessmen, an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there were beeping sounds. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. Interested, the other two looked on.
"It's my new pager" the American said, "I've had a microchip implanted under the skin of my arm".
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. After he finished his call, he explained, "It's my new mobile phone, I've a microchip inserted in my hand".
The Irish fellow now felt very clearly low-tech. Not to be outdone, he decided that he had to come up with something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went in the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, he returned with a long piece of toilet paper trailing from his bottom. The other two raised their eyebrows and stared.
The Irishman glanced around and then said........
"Would you look at that, I'm getting a fax!!!!!"
=
During a world scientific meeting on Information Technology, 3 teams of scientists, one from America, one Japanese and one Irish, all presented previously unpublished papers about the History of the Internet.
The American leader presented all his work himself: "I excavated about ten feet of earth, in which I discovered a few copper wires", meaning this to him: "...that the USA had a dial-up modem Internet a hundred years ago".
The Japanese head scholar's study was next up: "Meanwhile, I drilled down twenty feet, pushing deep into the earth, and I discovered optical cable, emphasising the opinion that Japan had a phenomenal high-speed Internet two centuries ago."
"OK, me?" remarked a member of the Irish team: "Meanwhile, our best men tunnelled down a mammoth thirty feet and all I happened to find was this: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Proof that the Irish had a wireless web network sometime three hundred years ago!"
3rd - Simon Woodard with:
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on the shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.
=
To relocate on a whaling ship for months did not seem deadly or nightmarish to me.
Then, the wily nut Ahab (our captain with one leg) imperilled our entire voyage, attempting carelessly to lure a monstrous, lone, silvery whale.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Mick and Pat were ambling home after a very good night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground in front of them.
Mick picked it up to investigate it, whistled and said to Pat "Jesus, Mary, God! He looks like Sean" to which Pat replied "No, I'm sure Sean was very much taller than that"
=
Pat and Mick landed themselves a career at a local sawmill. Working just before afternoon tea, Pat roared: "Mick! I've lost me thumb!"
"Have you now?" giggled Mick. "How did we do that?"
Pat uttered faintly "Suppose I shoved my hand near this spinning thing here like thi... Darn! There goes the other one!
Tony Crafter with:
It's believed the chart-rich Madonna has bought herself the cutest little Malawi child. Regarding its legalities, she blurted, "Kiss my ass!"
=
Guy Ritchie has said that will be the last time he gives his missus his credit card and tells her to go and get herself a little black number!
Paul Pan with:
"Shakira's music has a personal stamp that doesn't look like anyone else's and no one can sing or dance like her, at whatever age, with such an innocent sensuality, one that seems to be of her own invention." Gabriel Garcia Marquez
=
A Nobel laureate fantasizes this red-hot Asian-Latina nymph’s vocal talents, unique looks, showpiece arse, bouncing knockers and sheer anatomy. Her eager thighs swoon the eminent novelist and awaken an orgasmic erection.
Rosie Perera with:
"The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoat-Pamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel 'Stig' Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles, Volume Eight."
=
I'd affirm, e.g., that's the craziest title in Monty Python's superlative madcap "Bookshop" vignette. Aping pleasantness made me giggle and laugh!
Rosie Perera with:
"It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job [of U.S. president]." -- Erma Bombeck
=
"It happens that my top ten policies of war (a bent notion, if not dumb!) caused the potent jihad network to increase." -- George W. Bush
Rosie Perera with:
A famous linguist once made the observation that it was unknown for a double positive ever to resolve to a negative. A skeptical voice came from the back of the lecture hall saying: "Yeah, right."
=
Look out, check that high school grammar. Observe the vital official law: Never ever do not not use a double negative in a proper sentence. Aye, take it out. It is a big massive flaw that may confuse.
Don Rogers with:
Gilligan,
Skipper Jonas Grumby,
Thurston J. Howell III,
Eunice "Lovey" Wentworth Howell,
Ginger Grant,
Professor Roy Hinkley,
Mary Ann Summers
=
The long-running isle-shipwreck network program's parts number:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Genesis
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Oscar Wilde poem 'Les Silhouettes'
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
If Tomorrow Never Comes
David Bourke with:
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters
Andrew Brehaut with:
Dancing Queen - Abba
Rosie Perera with:
All Things Dull And Ugly
Rosie Perera with:
Another Brick in the Wall
Christopher Sturdy with:
Do We Become by Frances Howarth
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The bride and groom =
Get hard in bedroom.
2nd - David Bourke with:
The International Gender Dysphoria Association =
One poor sod. Hairy arse, ten-inch genitalia...and tits!
3rd - Paul Pan with:
I rub on a clit ~
lubrication.
David Bourke with:
Clitoral piercing =
Groin ill-practice.
Larry Brash with:
Personal lubricant =
Plan on clit/arse rub.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Mutton dressed up as lamb =
Old madam's brunette puss.
Andrew Brehaut with:
A bridal desire ~
is redder labia.
Andrew Brehaut with:
Putting a pair of socks down your pants =
You stow props of a giant pRick Rothstein and nuts.
Tony Crafter with:
The USA PRO sports-brassiere =
Supports sore breasts, I hear.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Alliance of Sodomy Supporters =
I do so amply prefer asshole to cunt!
Don Rogers with:
A nice tit =
"E"! Titanic!!
View with:
The Negro lover =
Long 'over there'.