FEBRUARY 2015 NOMINATIONS
THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Julian Lofts with:
The cardiac surgeon =
A heart-rescuing doc!
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Rain, sleet, hail and snow =
Had all in winter season.
3rd - David Bourke with:
What was life really like in Medieval England? =
All feast well, drinking heavily. Ale, wine, mead...
Rosie Perera with:
A medically induced coma =
Am in calm decay, could die.
Rosie Perera with:
Recreational drugs use =
Our leisure act's danger.
View with:
The appreciations =
Happiest reaction
Adie Pena with:
The broken marriage =
More heartbreaking.
Jason Lofts with:
Advocates ~
do caveats.
Christopher Sturdy with:
It was food like my mother used to make it =
Kid's memory of home? It's wild! Eat takeout.
Rosie Perera with:
Bathroom selfie =
This bare fool: me.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Real mad imagination =
I am not idle; I anagram.
Ed Pegg Jr with:
Information Disclosure Statement =
Masters in Constitutional Freedom.
David Bourke with:
Decrease in population =
As in a people reduction.
T Campbell with:
Spinach salads ‡
Chips and salsa.
Christopher Sturdy with:
My mother's death ‡
Shed that memory.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The conservative media ~
have overt mendacities.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Used battery from an electronic device =
A need to recycle; it can burst if removed.
Rosie Perera with:
Say to anyone who's laughing their head off: ~
"Ha ha. Feeling good? A riot? Hey, what's so funny?"
Adie Pena with:
An internet celebrity =
Act nineteen. Terribly.
Rick Rothstein with:
The cardiac surgeon ~
cures a 'coding' heart.
nedesto with:
He makes me to lie down in green pastures =
Seek God, whose temple remains in nature.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Equal marriage =
A real quagmire?
Maurice Goddard with:
Lo and behold! Rising early listening to Dawn's Chorus, ~
this wondrous angelical noisy birdsong enthralled!
View with:
The Islamic radicalism =
A sad cliche - "militarism".
Rick Rothstein with:
Plastic debris =
Idle bits, scrap.
Tony Crafter with:
Marathon training =
Rigor in Manhattan.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Enduring relationship =
Pair dies in the long run.
Jesse Frankovich with:
A violent protest =
It's too prevalent!
Rosie Perera with:
Board certification =
Obtain a terrific doc.
David Bourke with:
"I love you to the moon and back!" =
"Look, I bet you haven't a condom!"
Jesse Frankovich with:
Standard American foods =
Norm is added fat can soar.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Eating a radio set ~
is not a great idea.
Rosie Perera with:
Asia agreed it ~
is a great idea.
Rosie Perera with:
Teeth hairiness ~
has three e's in it.
Tyler Severance with:
A ripe ghost tale =
Ha! a poltergeist.
Rosie Perera with:
Catholic nuns conceived at ~
the Second Vatican Council.
Jesse Frankovich with:
What was life really like in Medieval England? =
Evil filled wealthy men in a land's warlike age.
Rosie Perera with:
Champagne socialist =
So, change capitalism?
Jesse Frankovich with:
True saints =
Sane, I trust.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Anagrammy Competition =
Aimin' to get my crap a nom. :-)
Tyler Severance with:
Rain totals ~
or Atlantis!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The motion picture 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' =
Arty fetish topic might offend our eyes?
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Into the Woods" movie =
Show it to me on video.
3rd - Jason Lofts with:
Eddie Redmayne wins an Oscar for Best Actor =
See Academy's conferred its award on Briton.
Adie Pena with:
'Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)' =
Good experiment of Iñárritu can bend the curve.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Twilight Zone's "To Serve Man" spoiler...It's a cookbook! =
How-To-Book: Alien stalkers go to victimize persons!
T Campbell with:
Arts and Leisure =
Treasure Island.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Academy Award nominees =
A deed may win 'em an Oscar.
Adie Pena with:
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences =
Identified humans to accept Oscars at ceremony.
Adie Pena with:
Disney's 'Cinderella' ~
is nice slender lady.
nedesto with:
Sam Smith won the Year's Best New Artist in the Grammys =
"So this smash Stay With Me arrangement's written by me!"
Jason Lofts with:
Artist claims hanging penis sculptures are clouds =
Press criticises strange and giant "cumulo-phallus".
Rick Rothstein with:
Terminator Genisys =
A grim, intense story.
Adie Pena with:
Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele =
A rich sadist eyes a neat gal as intern.
Ellie Dent with:
Walt Disney's Cinderella =
Said ends well, certainly.
Scott Gardnerwith:
Walt Disney's picture Cinderella =
We called lady in it true princess.
Rick Rothstein with:
The new movie "Fifty Shades of Grey" ‡
Few heed a mighty offensive story.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Caliphate doing evil =
A chilling videotape.
Eq2nd - nedesto with:
Paedophile rocker Gary Glitter (Paul Francis Gadd) =
Predator creep guilty-as-charged of all kid-raping.
Eq2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Bill O'Reilly's Falkland War story =
Words roll by, frankly it's all a lie.
Jason Lofts with:
Rodrigo Alves is newest 'Human Ken Doll' =
Male's surgeons' handiwork evident. LOL!
Adie Pena with:
Liberian scourge =
Cure rising Ebola!
Jesse Frankovich with:
Mass is naive to cancel ~
measles vaccinations.
Julian Lofts with:
Putin has Asperger's ~
suppressing a heart.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Measles inoculations =
Sane, cause I'm not so ill.
View with:
Russian racketeer is in ~
Eastern Ukraine crisis
Dharam Khalsa with:
Does Russia's leader Putin have Asperger's Syndrome? =
I guess so. The ruler is odd, appears very near madness.
Jason Lofts with:
Greenspan predicts exit from euro inevitable =
Prominent US expert said final bit over Greece.
Adie Pena with:
The NBC journalist Brian Williams =
Can liar in a news job trim bullshit?
View with:
Journalist Brian Williams =
I am & was just ill inborn liar.
Jason Lofts with:
Dominique Strauss-Kahn on charges of proxenetism =
Man sent hookers for sex orgies. Acquit? Punish? Damn?
Dharam Khalsa with:
Unanswered questions =
Quietness around news.
View with:
Palestinians call for boycott of Israeli goods =
Locals' obligation is "Don't pay for foes' articles!"
Rosie Perera with:
Terror attack in Denmark; one dead three wounded =
Nut dared end work, threatened: "Die, cartoon maker!"
Rosie Perera with:
Saint Valentine's Day =
Tense lady sat in vain.
Rosie Perera with:
Anniversary of the Canadian flag =
And so certainly having a fanfare.
Rick Rothstein with:
ISIL beheadings ~
is big headlines.
Tony Crafter with:
Hackers show nude celebrity selfies on the internet =
Filth! Censor the naked sluts! We...! Er, is Beyonce in there?
Maurice Goddard with:
The millions of sewer rats in London City ~
increase down in loos' rotten slimy filth!
Rosie Perera with:
Alaska legalizes pot =
I'll gaze as a pal tokes.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Leonard Nimoy as Mister Spock =
My prime icon on Trek; a sad loss.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Leonard Nimoy as Mister Spock =
My prime icon on Trek; a sad loss.
Eric Harshbarger with:
Leonard Nimoy's Death =
Sad day online, mother.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Leonard Nimoy, Mister Spock, dies =
Moodless Trek icon in prime days.
Ellie Dent with:
The actor Leonard Nimoy dies =
Oh my, indicated one star role.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Late actor Leonard Simon Nimoy ('Spock' in Star Trek) =
In control, lacks emotions, trademark pointy ears!
2nd - nedesto with:
The journalist Brian Williams =
This just in: "Well, I am a born liar..."
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Bill Thomas =
Balls to him
nedesto with:
The famous American athlete William Bruce Jenner =
"Meanwhile, can I reject the male's nature for labium?"
Jason Lofts with:
Lieutenant Moaz Kasasbeh =
Human's ablaze. IS: "Take note!"
Adie Pena with:
The singer and actress Anna Mae Bullock =
Songs labeled 'Tina Turner' can make cash!
View with:
Poroshenko =
OK, he's no pro.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Petro Poroshenko =
OK, the poor person.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Minister Pat Robertson =
"Brimstone to transpire!"
Rosie Perera with:
Brian Douglas Williams =
U.S. glad liar was in limbo.
Larry Brash with:
The Australian Prime Minister, Tony Abbott =
Party is set on a hunt to eliminate Mr Rabbit.
Adie Pena with:
Prime Minister David William Donald Cameron ‡
A dim (more small-minded), war-driven politician.
Larry Brash with:
Norman Vincent Peale =
Mental nerve pain con.
Ellie Dent with:
Monsieur Claude-Oscar Monet =
Used color at ocean in summer.
Tony Crafter with:
Dominique Gaston André Strauss-Kahn =
Antique stud's grand sin? A hookers' man.
Rick Rothstein with:
The famous journalist Brian Williams =
A minus if war tale is major bullshit, no?
Dharam Khalsa with:
Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson =
Woman, model, teacher, true star!
View with:
The British actor Eddie Redmayne =
They added me in their Oscar-tribe.
Mark Huffman with:
Jonathan Gruber =
Arrange job hunt.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
Neverland Ranch, California ‡
A clean nirvana for children.
eq2nd - Jason Lofts with:
Israeli settlements in Golan Heights =
Ghettos, it seems, nestling in hill area.
eq2nd - nedesto with:
The McDonalds Corporation chain of restaurants =
Fat consumers stand (or not) in poor cardiac health.
Rosie Perera with:
Canada's Euthanasia Prevention Coalition =
Oh nation, suicide's an evil art, not a panacea!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Rosie the Riveter poster "We Can Do It!" =
Prettiest heroine to do war service.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention =
Internal reports often do endorse vaccines.
View with:
The American Composers Forum =
Oh, maestro! Music! Performance!
Adie Pena with:
Transportation Security Administration =
It's trusted to scan a minority in an airport! :-(
Jesse Frankovich with:
The National Football League's New England Patriots =
Platoon unable to answer the deflating allegations.
Rick Rothstein with:
The President of Russia =
"Oh, fear Putin!", I stressed.
Tony Crafter with:
Alexion Pharmaceuticals =
Has a pill can cure toxemia.
Adie Pena with:
Q: Hesitant America is afraid to slay _____? ~
A: The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Islamic Caliphate ‡
I am this ethical place.
Adie Pena with:
The United States of America =
'Hate crime'-situated. Not safe.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Woman (by bus stop with son, 5 years old):
"When the bus comes, tell the driver you are 4."
"I'm five though!"
"I know; but if we say you are four ~
I won't have to pay your fare."
The bus comes in.
Driver asks: "Um... how old are you?"
Boy mutters: "4."
"When will you be 5?"
"When I get off this bus."
2nd - Adie Pena with:
The Oscar Nominees for Best Actor
1. Eddie Redmayne
2. Benedict Cumberbatch
3. Michael Keaton
4. Bradley Cooper
5. Steve Carell
=
1. He has ALS
2. Decoded by Alan
3. Bitter torment? Become the actor!
4. Sniper in recovery mode
5. Benefactor became accused killer.
3rd - nedesto with:
IMDB list of year's most popular films:
1. American Sniper
2. Birdman
3. Kingsman: The Secret Service
4. The Imitation Game
5. John Wick
=
1. Cooper's militia marksman
2. Keaton's jilted actor
3. Firth's fine model spy
4. Cumberbatch: "I nip Enigma"
5. Reeves's grim hitman wins
Julian Lofts with:
Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch to become a rehab facility
=
Ahem! An inconceivably tactless, macabre joke for children. Ha!
Jason Lofts with:
Over the wintry
forest, winds howl in rage
with no leaves to blow.
- Natsume Soseki
=
Lo, it is new moon
and the weather is snowy.
Frostbitten wolves growl.
(Haiku verse)
Julian Lofts with:
English businessman has very rare persistent Mullerian duct syndrome
"Mr/Ms" has penis, balls, internal uterus, ovary, etc. Send him in - needs surgery!
Jesse Frankovich with:
The Oscar Nominees for Best Actress:
1. Marion Cotillard
2. Felicity Jones
3. Julianne Moore
4. Rosamund Pike
5. Reese Witherspoon
=
1. Sandra tries to keep her job
2. A scientist's amour
3. Ill professor Alice
4. Lost mad wife to concern
5. Heroine on immense journey
Jason Lofts with:
We dump eight million metric tons of plastic debris into the ocean each year =
I see humanity's one terrific ecological problem with depths contaminated.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The National Football League's New England Patriots =
Platoon unable to answer the deflating allegations.
Rosie Perera with:
Benedict Cumberbatch weds Sophie Hunter in small ceremony on the Isle of Wight =
It means symbolic steps: no longer the unencumbered bachelor; hitched with wife.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am the master of my fate and captain of my soul."--D. Hofstadter
=
Fate stuff:
Economy
Car delay
Cloudburst
Commitments
Rat infestation
Chemotherapy
and Doomsday
Rosie Perera with:
"East is east, and west is west, and never the twain shall meet." -- Rudyard Kipling
=
Well, I'd think the United States and damn ISIS savages were presently at war.
Rosie Perera with:
Birdman wins four Oscars for Best Picture, Best Screenplay, Best Director, and Best Cinematography
=
Mystery script; long camera shots; bitter, spent, ruined, buff, disrobed actor; barbaric weapon scenes.
Maurice Goddard with:
Royal flush: Prince Charles visits London sewage tunnel =
Well I never! So uncanny? Sounds right place for the ill ass!
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." - William Shakespeare
=
I argue some have rare prime genes, whereas some have basic rotten genes, and all make thrusts to pass them on.
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." - William Shakespeare
=
Great,
Revered,
Ethical,
Awesome,
Tough male;
No egoism,
Earns esteem,
Saves orphans,
Shares...the man is bankrupt.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." - William Shakespeare=
GW Bush, the
ROtten man makes
ERrors. Handlers see his moves
AS pathetic megalomania. Never
TEase a super-ego!
Julian Lofts with:
Mr Obama emerges as a man in the latter group.
Voters love his red hot war speeches. He makes nauseating sense.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Sir, the humbler pious men that have a strong moral presence get assassinated, so we make average men heroes.
View with:
He swaggers? OK, to approve that, there are "gems" - men that are born useless , remain useless, die as vain macho-men.
Julian Lofts with:
Michelangelo (he's a given)
The Pope (he's a revered statesman)
G W Bush (assessment: a mistake, a moron, a true error)
Rosie Perera with:
Some men are nice, some are grumps, and some that have weapons behave like utter assholes -- arrest their gangs!
Maurice Goddard with:
Aha! Greatest one ever marks Christ in a manger.
Geniuses Adam, Eve, Hebrew Moses & Apostle Paul.
The Son's Mother.
Adie Pena with:
Oh, and then there's one George W. Bush as a programme speaker. Note: America values his several misstatements!
Adie Pena with:
Sarah Palin merits measure. The vague Alaska Governor seems to be THE incompetent woman. She has regressed.
Rosie Perera with:
"Some regal knaves are perverse anathemas, each prone to that shameless misunderestimation." (George W. Bush)
Adie Pena with:
Great mover, shaker?
Wise? An eager master?
Bright salesman?
Up to speed? Someone
Smart, hence has value?
HE IS NOT!
Christopher Sturdy with:
As ever there's another genre: a shameless bum who seems great, thanks to media manipulation/press coverage...
Christopher Sturdy with:
The above average anagrams Kraus does here get the most wins.
The man is relentless, arose Supreme Champion!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Brethren: Malvolio, her steward, receives a paper note--sham suggestions to make men great, as shame ensues. Ha!
Jason Lofts with:
Overtemperamental maths genius Alan M. Turing assesses, perseveres, breaks the Enigma code. Ooh, what a hero!
Maurice Goddard with:
Aha! sees a mammoth Greek!
Revered,
Ingenious,
Supreme,
The man was so
Observant,
The Sharpest,
Logical,
Earnest.
Adie Pena with:
GW Bush, the
rotten man makes
errors. Handlers see his moves
as pathetic megalomania. Never
tease a super-ego!
Tony Crafter with:
Whereas some can never assume modern greatness, e.g; that immoral ass Blair; even though he appears to seek it.
Rosie Perera with:
Hear, then, how some emerge as great beasts, hated killers, venomous rampagers, never at peace, not humans: ISIS.
View with:
I'm no huge bard or poet -
Shame, never wrote a thing!
So, pause man, see a small secret -
As verses make the heart sing!
Jesse Frankovich with:
The others among us? Most are weak, mean, brash, gross, heathen, immature, deceptive, senseless, or plain average.
Maurice Goddard with:
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon
Reverse awe meets loathsome ape Genghis Khan's inborn venom! A ruthless gruesome irate ape that massacred!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Considering karma, we have mere thugs, stablemen, massive athletes, shamans, European poets, or great heroes.
Jesse Frankovich with:
<
Happens that some anagrams are sheer genius; several seem somewhat bare, vague, or mediocre; then lots stink.
Don Fortier with:
Makes sense. On the other hand we have some egregious arse, a rump that never impresses at all, becoming a star.
David Bourke with:
A woman drones she's a "LIVING SAINT!!!". The pest, she
also became the "SUPREME GREATEST ANAGRAMMER EVER!!!".
Oh ok, sure!
Maurice Goddard with:
NEMESIS RAVE IS:
"HEINOUS HUMANS WHO SEEK TO SCRAP ME, DEBRA, EARTH'S GREATEST ANAGRAM PEST EVER, GO TO HELL! AMEN!!!"
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
A group of pensioners were sitting discussing their ailments in a Starbucks cafe.
"My arms have become so shaky that I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know what you mean," observed another. "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee."
"Gosh, I can't even mark the X on my ballot form at an election because my twisted hands are so crippled," sighed a third.
"What? Speak up! What? I can't quite hear you," shouted one elderly lady.
"I struggle to turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said another, to which several nodded wryly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me really light-headed!" exclaimed another old soul.
"I forget who I am, where I am and where I'm going," added another.
"I guess that is the price we pay for getting old," groaned an old man as he slowly shook his head.
The others quietly nodded their agreement.
"Oh well, count your blessings," said a woman cheerfully.
"Thank God we can all still drive."
=
Malcolm Clarke is ninety years old and has played golf every day since retiring a quarter of a century ago.
One day he arrives home looking particularly downcast.
"Frances, I'm giving up golf," Malcolm moans to his wife. "My eyes are now so bad that once I've hit the ball I can't see where it went."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she remarks, "Look, why don't you take my brother Claude along and give it one more go."
"That's no good," groans the exasperated Malcolm, "old Claude is a hundred and three. He can't help."
"Claude may be a hundred and three," says his wife, "but his eyesight is in perfect order."
So the next day Malcolm goes to the golf course with brother-in-law Claude.
He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.
Then he turns to Claude and asks, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replies his brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go then?" asks Malcolm.
"Er... I don't remember."
2nd - Julian Lofts with:
A list of ten Oscar-winning films with lead characters with physical or mental disabilities predominantly played by normal actors/actresses:
1. Rain Man
2. My Left Foot
3. Philadelphia
4. The Miracle Worker
5. Forrest Gump
6. Coming Home
7. Children of a Lesser God
8. A Beautiful Mind
9. As Good As It Gets
10. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
=
1. Autism - Dustin Hoffman
2. Artist with cerebral palsy
3. AIDS
4. Deaf, blind Helen Keller
5. Congenial, slow, heroic goober - Tom Hanks
6. Paraplegic - Vietnam War
7. Deafness - Marlee Matlin (Oh yes, actor legitimately deaf)
8. Split personality - Russell Crowe
9. OCD
10. Nonconformist committed to harrowing psychiatric madhouse fights foes,
3rd - David Bourke with:
On a bitterly cold winter's morning in Dublin, an English husband and his Irish wife were listening to the radio whilst having their breakfast. They heard the announcer say: "We are going to have eight to ten inches of snow today. Please park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street, so that the snowploughs can get through" - so the good wife went out and moved her car. The following week, whilst they are again eating breakfast, the radio announcer said: "We are expecting ten to twelve inches of snow today. Please park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street, so that the snowploughs can get through". As per the previous week, the good wife went out and moved her car.
=
The following week, they're again having their breakfast, when the announcer says, "We are expecting from at least twelve, to fourteen or even fifteen inches of snow here today. Please park your cars on...." and then the power went right out. The wife was most upset, and with a concerned look all over her face, said, "Ah, shit! Oi don't know what to do! On which side of the street do oi need to park so that the snowploughs can get through?". With the reserve and sincere, unbegrudging understanding in his voice that men who are in a relationship with gorgeous big-boobed natural blondes tend to possess, the husband drily suggested: "Er...why don't you leave the car in the garage this time, my dear?"
Julian Lofts with:
The Ten Best Movies Last Year Are:
1. Boyhood
2. The LEGO Movie
3. Whiplash
4. Life Itself
5. Gloria
6. Nightcrawler
7. The Babadook
8. Mr Turner
9. Starred Up
10. Snowpiercer
=
1. A little boy - how he grew up
2. Fan - "I want the toys!"
3. A drummer
4. Roger Ebert vérité
5. Divorcée
6. Likes the blood
7. Shh! Basement horror!
8. Spall's a painter
9. Gaol
10. Sci fi
Adie Pena with:
"Closing my eyes and holding still. It's the end if I get mad or scream. It's close to a prayer. Hate is not for humans. Judgment lies with God. That's what I learned from my Arabic brothers and sisters." - Japanese journalist Kenji Goto
=
The master's
Nightmare
Began in
Miyagi Prefecture.
This fatal
Project of
Dejected mortals
Jolts them.
Jotting ghost stories
On blood diamonds,
Child soldiers
In Sierra Leone.
My last nights
In Syria
Saw Haruna
Yukawa's end.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Nearly Extinct Subspecies of Leopards:
Amur
Indian
Javan
Persian
Snow
Clouded
Arabian
Sri Lankan
Tsushima
African
Anatolian
=
Homes:
Russia
A crowded subcontinent
Indonesia
Iran
Natural places afar
Himalayas
Peninsula
Island
Japan
Bank of a river
(extinct)
Ellie Dent with:
A joyless lawyer was cross-examining a doctor about whether he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. The doctor said, 'No, I did not.' 'Now wait man, you must stop and think. Are you well, certain, in your own mind? Did you attempt to listen then at all for a weak or uneven, heartbeat?' asked the lawyer.
=
'No, no.' the doctor said. 'Oh, then when you signed the death certificate,' said the lawyer, 'you had not exactly taken real steps to make sure he was indeed, in fact, even dead?' The doctor said, 'Let me put it this way. Our man's brain was in a wee jar there on my desk, but for all I know, the fool could be out there today and practicing law somewhere.'
Jason Lofts with:
Pope Francis delivers tough-love message to new cardinals: put aside pride, jealousy and self-interests and instead exercise perfect charity
=
Crestfallen Papa: "You (expletive deleted) depraved, cross-dressing, effete pederasts, i.e. women/girls... You antichristian, anachronistic Judases...!"
Maurice Goddard with:
1: Potatoes
2: Spinach
3: Cauliflowers
4: Leeks
5: Lettuce
6: Onions
7: Garlic
8: Horseradish
9: Sweetcorn
10: Tomatoes
11: Cucumbers
12: Chilli peppers
13: Broccoli
14: Pumpkins
15: Aubergines
16: Celery
17: Cabbages
18: Brussels sprouts
19: Parsnips
20: Broad beans
21: Garden peas
22: Watercress
=
1: Crisps
2: Popeye's biceps
3: See Pa's ears!
4: Wales?
5: Rabbit grub
6: Soups
7: Cooks' classic
8: A hot sauce
9: Pops!
10: Ketchup
11: Cunt's cooler bliss!
12: Gastric fire
13: Iron rich
14: Halloween lantern
15: Purple
16: Nicer raw
17: Green
18: Garden's best
19: Roots
20: Mum adores 'em!
21: Cute nibble
22: Salads
Dharam Khalsa with:
Madonna's "Living for Love" lyrics –
"Took me to heaven and let me fall down;
Now that it's over I'm gonna carry on;
Lifted me up and watched me stumble;
After the heartache I'm gonna carry on."
=
The woman fell back on a flight of stairs during an indoor performance;
was that one moment all coincidence, or more ugly drama?
The savvy woman vehemently denied that later on TV.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
JABBERWOCKY
By
Lewis Carroll
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
=
ABBA JOCKEY
(The Blond Clubber)
Rob Melcher was the DJ
At a nightclub in Soho,
He had this thing for Bjorn Ulvaeus,
Loved him as a bro!
"Ain't that the truth," Rob would admit,
"I just adore the man!
"He wrote the catchy Abba hits
"And I'm a mighty fan!"
Rob called himself 'The Abba Jockey'
Played them through to dawn;
But visually, he was a shock,
He dressed and looked like Bjorn!
'What's wrong with that?' you might react,
Hmm... well, I might agree,
Were it not for the screwy fact
That Rob was eighty-three!
"But Abba music keeps me young!"
He'd cry when others jeered,
"And when I get my Bjorn wig on
"It melts away the years!"
Old Rob would twist 'n' shout 'n' sing
To every Abba song -
'SOS', 'I Have A Dream'
'Dum Diddle' to 'So Long'."
One club-night, at the gig he wore
Some platform boots (high-rise),
But twelve-inch heels on wobbly floor
Is not exactly wise...
He stumbled, fell, and whammed his head
Hard on his walking frame;
And now the Abba Jockey's dead,
But that's the Name of the Game.
Adie Pena with:
There was a young girl not so thick
The boys always let the girl pick
Which one she could hold
When she felt so bold
And she always grabbed hold of Dick.
=
Bob Woodruff who got endlessly sick
When he got in bed with Sally, a chick.
"Great lady?" He'd yell,
"God, an absolute hell!"
He has aches down to his short prick!
2nd - Adie Pena with:
SHADES OF GRAY
When the world and I were young just yesterday.
Life was such a simple game a child could play.
It was easy then to tell right from wrong.
Easy then to tell weak from strong.
When a man should stand and fight,
Or just go along.
[Chorus] But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Only shades of gray.
I remember when the answers seemed so clear
We had never lived with doubt or tasted fear.
It was easy then to tell truth from lies
Selling out from compromise
Who to love and who to hate,
The foolish from the wise.
[Repeat Chorus]
[Instrumental Interlude]
It was easy then to know what was fair
When to keep and when to share.
How much to protect your heart
And how much to care.
[Repeat Chorus]
Only shades of gray.
=
STRANDS OF GRAY
When the world and I were young just yesterday.
We would have a lot of fun beyond foreplay.
We could share the fantasy all night long.
We were dynamite, we were strong.
A wench, a hero of sorts
With this ten-inch schlong.
[Chorus] But tonight I can't keep it upright
Although I ache will all my might!
Tonight it's just my weak eyesight
And some strands of gray.
We do remember hearts of love so real, so sweet.
The stud had a honey; we two were all in heat.
How this harpoon of mine made her drool;
My anatomy she found so cool.
She'd hold the soft, enormous --
Arouse the royal tool!
[Repeat Chorus]
[Instrumental Interlude]
Red-hot for her throat, hard as a brick;
So we attempted every trick.
What a matador I was
With the swollen stick!
[Repeat Chorus]
And some strands of gray.
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
A good limerick's no trouble to fashion:
Avoid lines that are metrically clashin',
Bring together some rhymes,
Build in humor at times,
And enjoy it. For some, it's a passion!
=
A good anagram's tougher; that's plain.
Look, one critical rule does constrain:
Every letter to finish.
Boom! Solutions diminish.
Sometimes dire, shabby filth may remain (J).
Julian Lofts with:
Ding Dong Song
Deep in the night,
i'm looking for some fun,
deep in the night,
i'm looking for some love.
de-de-de-deep in the night,
i'm looking for some fun,
deep in the night,
i'm looking for some (ping)
You tease me,
oh please me,
i want you to be my lovetoy,
come near me, don't fear me,
i just can't get enough of you boy.
Oh, you touch my tralala.
la la la..
mmm, my ding ding dong,
oh you touch my tralala,
mmm, my ding ding dong.
la la la...
Deep in the night,
i'm looking for some fun,
deep in the night,
i'm looking for some love.
you tease me,
oh please me,
i want you to be my lovetoy.
come near me, don't fear me,
i just can't get enough of you boy.
Oh, you touch my tralala.
la la la...
mmm, my ding ding dong.
la la la..
oh, you touch my tralala.
la la la..
mmm, my ding ding dong.
(ding ding dong)
mmm, my ding ding dong
Gunther and The Sunshine Girls
=
Debra Dee Freeman Ditty
Debra Dee Freeman (DDF)
Evil unhinged troll LOL!
Fiend attacking,
Insulting, niggling
Onomatopoeic nutty hippy
Idiotic mammoth mayhem
Pitiful fool
Just a kooky vile troll
Hehehe!
Dum dum dum
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Gag gag gag!
Eminent psychiatrist comment:
"Non compos mentis…
Of unsound mind…
Mentally ill…
Hypomania…
Juvenile, amok…"
An unhinged lunatic, villainous hag
Kooky egghead
Moaning Minnie
Hogging the Anagrammy site, I huff – "Greedy!"
Hehehe!
Dum dum dum
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Gag gag gag!
We shout "She's mad, stupid, ludicrous!"
Foaming spit at the mouth,
Debra Dee Freeman is demented! Google DDF
Gag the troll LOL!
We yell "Gag Debra Dee Freeman LOL!"
Yell "Gag the troll LOL!"
Hehehe!
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Nom nom nom it?
Yo yo yo?
Nom nom nom?
Go go go
NO NO NO!
THE RUDE CATEGORY
eq1st - Ivan Andonov with:
The President of Russia =
Federation's Super Shit.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
A real striptease? I'll go if ~
I'll see a large pair of tits.
eq1st - David Bourke with:
Fifty Shades of Grey 'Come Alive Pleasure Gel for Her' =
Gets her off very easily - a full, deep, fierce orgasm - "OH!".
Christopher Sturdy with:
Distancing yourself =
Cunt is angry, so I fled.
View with:
What's the key to winning a woman's heart? =
Hark, we want money, wish attention...shag!
Adie Pena with:
I'd suck one man or ~
an enormous dick!
nedesto with:
Man with two large penises =
A twin girth pleases women!
Jesse Frankovich with:
A lengthy penis =
Phase in gently.
Rick Rothstein with:
A teenager's first orgasm =
Massage groin, rest after.
Adie Pena with:
Horny bad man =
Ban my hard-on!
Adie Pena with:
Stephen Fry-Elliott Spencer ~
recently slept for the penis.
David Bourke with:
He is only after one thing =
Any free hole...no shitting!
Tony Crafter with:
Behavior restraint ‡
Vibrator in the arse!
Julian Lofts with:
Felching is a base and corrupt perversion =
Shove frantic gerbil up arse - innards cope
Maurice Goddard with:
Fiery-mad ejaculation snort on the toilet =
The joyful termination to a lad's erection!
