Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2000

All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2000 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Gastroenterologist =
I let go torrents o' gas.

2nd - Art Day with:
Acetaminophen =
Ache? Pain? Not me!

eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"He required a breathalyser test." =
Larry Brash, quiet as he teetered...

eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Economic rationalism =
Is a commercial notion.

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Tom Myers with:
Who was that masked man, riding on the white horse, with all the silver bullets? =
Ah! An absurd kids show! It's The Lone Ranger TV show with the William Tell theme.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle's The Hound of the Baskervilles =
Lurid story of hero Sherlock and an evil beast he hunts.

3rd - Jaybur with:
Noddy and Big Ears in Toyland =
Enid Blyton and gay androids.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
Saint George's Day =
Yes! as I get dragon!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mayor Rudolph Giuliani said he has prostate cancer =
Oh, US Senate chair campaign's hard? Drop it! You are ill!

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Microsoft penalty =
Stifle company? Rot!

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Genital Warts =
Rinse twat, gal!

2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Sweaty bollocks =
Boy lacks towels.

eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Dr. Alex Comfort, author of "The Joy Of Sex" =
X-rated theme: Oral joy -- crux of shoot-off.

eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Tuna town =
Twat [noun].

THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
These girls are barely legal. =
The "girls" are really beagles.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
For only $16.00 US dollars, we will send you the material you need to do this legally.
=
Well, girl, I sent you lolly ($A1600) and you sent me a turd. So, where's the folio, old lady?

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
HOW TO MAKE MONEY IN THE COMMODITY MARKETS WITHOUT LOSING SLEEP
=
You're mocking me with 'Hot, New' spam, idiot. Sell that to some monkey.

THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Looking for some hot young girls? Look no further. We have the freshest, youngest girls available. These girls are barely legal. This is the site you have been hearing about. We are the best rated adult site on the net!
Unsensored pics, live Cams, plus chat rooms where you can talk to our girls live! Don't wait, Get your full access trial today!!
http://3489887226/jm1/
To be removed email us at nothanks@mailandnews.com
=
Want to see hot pensioners? Seek no further. We have the hottest, raunchiest grandmas available. All of these babes are over seventy but they still like to 69!
Watch lewd octogenarian sluts shagging, live! Try our lurid 431-shot gallery of "Grans With Glans"!
Stick in your false teeth, get some edible Depends, take a valium (or your lithium) then join us @ "The Coma Roamer" (oedipusrules.com/82-72-88/oralcolostomybag)

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Here's what our customers say...

Testimonial # 1 - I knew having a Merchant Account would increase my sales, But never thought it would be so great. In addition in being able to take major credit cards, I can also do real time credit card processing on the internet and receive orders while I am Sleeping. It's awsome! I encourage every serious business owner to get one. Thanks. M.B./MI

Testimonial # 2 - " Being a homebased business owner, no one would approve me, until this came my way. I am more than greatful. Within 10 days I had my Merchant Account set up. I am more than pleased with the 24 hr. customer service. My business has sky rocketted because I now can accept credit card orders. " Oscar/FL

Here are 2 rambling idiots we abused:

Sorry Ass I - "I'm Bill Gates and Merchant Account screwed me over. I used to be an attractive man with no PC or internet knowledge, then those cursed Merchant Account weasels said a computer career would be a great job. Sure... Now I'm a moronic, eerie liar on trial, and Microsoft has been repossessed."

Sorry Ass II - "My name is Bill Clinton and I'm the US president. I used to be a happy man with a loving spouse, then Merchant Account suggested me to hire Monica Lewinsky, a big-mouthed bitch. Now my marriage is ruined, of course, the country indicts me, the white house receives 41,120 swastikas a day, even my weirdo vice Al Gore can't talk to me... Thanks, cunts!"

3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
-- > * D E A D L I N E * is this Sunday! < --

Start a proven home business within 72 hours using Microsoft's foolproof sales recipe for Internet success. Your exclusive report reveals how to get a *FREE* business building CD-ROM, TURN 50 cents into $50 with a click of a button, 5-page WebSite and *FREE* reprint and marketing rights to $1073.00 in software products! Don't miss the deadline!

For your *FREE* report:

Click Here:

mailto:xyz4044@21cn.com?subject=cdrom2000

-OR-
Send an email to xyz4044@21cn.com
with cdrom2000 as the subject.

P.S.
Act NOW! -- Only the first 75 requests will be granted to receive this Special Report for *FREE*. Bonus report given to the first 35 people to respond within the next 24 Hours.

Your FREE Report request will be fulfilled in the order in which it was received... Thank you.

-- >* A T T E N T I O N* dickless spammers! < --

Send our required $777,555,544,440 in the next 24 hours or suffer strict consequences. BEWARE: If you didn't pick this fee, we'd have no choice but to strap you in a chair, forcing you to listen to Yoko Ono's Worst Songs [tautology?] 4,433,222,220,000,000 times, or 'til you tell us to rip your heart through an orifice we chose, ending the droll, senseless, suffering existence.

The first 5 hundred shrewd respondents will receive a coupon for 1 butt-wax from Bob R. McSchlect's House of Extracted Anal Hair 'N' Wart Removal.

There's STILL MORE!! The first 100,000 persistent jerk-off spammer twits that accept our offer will receive a BRAND NEW cod-scented, jizz-blob dripping, purple-veiny, erect nob probing deep inside their torn, raw rectums!!! Limit 1 per visit.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun

2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Online D'Zigns
Specialists In Web Page Graphic Design & Logo Development.
We Offer An Array Of Services To Fit Your Needs. Be It Business Or Personal, We Can Design A Layout That Fits You. We Can Use Your Design Ideas And Make Them Sing, Or If You Prefer, You Can Have One Of Our Trained Professional Graphic Artists Work With You To Capture The Feel You Are Looking For.
Whatever Your Needs, Online D'Zigns Will Fill Them To Your Satisfaction!
Look Through Our Web Site - Enjoy Yourself. If You Have Any Questions, Please Feel Free To Contact Us And We'll Be Happy To Answer Them All.
Please feel free to visit us at: http://www.sincity1.com/onlinedzigns

UZt?B

Hello To All Alt.Anagram Faithful!

Yes, I Capitalize All Words I Write 'Cause I'm One Super-Moron -- Yes, A Grossly Offensive Stupid Fucking Festered Zero, Not Fully Sure What Words Should Be Capitalized. Yes, In Fact, Don't Have Clue One How To Market Anyone's Services, So Of Course You're Fully Aware I Don't Even Know How To Finish Laying Out A Web Page. You Realize I Just Want Your Card Number So I Can Use It Getting Off On Every Pornography Page I Find On This Planet. Yes, Ann, I Confess I Won't Go Away Until I Get It, So Please, Offer Me Endless Help. Take Pity On These Pathetic Wretch Requests Soon. Right Now If Possible. I'd Be Forever In Your Generous Debt.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists Congress =
Electrotherapy and drug fans now ignore Classical Analysis zealots.

THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
William Shakespeare =
I'll make a wise phrase.

2nd - Bo Bielefeldt with:
Philadelphia Sixers' guard Allen Iverson =
Holds in evil lies, sex, drug paraphernalia.

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
NASA Administrator Dan Goldin =
Idiot and a rat. No Mars landings!

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Prime Minister Tony Blair =
I'm Britain's Tory peril, men!

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Quarter Pounders with Cheese =
It's queer how the crap endures.

2nd - Darren Donlen with:
National Geographic =
Hop on a giant glacier.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
City of Nazareth, Israel =
Christ-zone? A fairy tale!

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Sodom and Gomorrah =
Hard-on mood. Orgasm!
Do rod! Oh man! Orgasm!
Manhood, rod, orgasm!
God roars. Damn homo.
Homos roar "damn god!"
Honor God or madams?
So go do random harm.
Gonads, ramrod, homo.
Or god do so harm man.

3rd - Kevin Hale with:
Popeye, The sailor man =
A sloppy heroine mate.
Happy elite sea moron.
Ahoy! Inept male poser.
The oily apeman poser.
A happy, one-time loser.
Oh my! No pirate, please!
He's a pain to employer.
"I loathes paper money."

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

2nd - Mike Keith with:
Foolish About Windows

3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Psalm 83