Anagrammy Placegetters for July 2004

All the highly-placed anagrams from the July 2004 Anagrammy Awards.

[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
The new SPIDERMAN movie =
Made with even MORE spin!

2nd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
And now to something completely different... =
Python-crew's genial motto often ended film.

3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" =
Hard news -- with a sly jest, too.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Chris Doyle with:
The former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay is indicted =
Nice! "Felony" is the one market he didn't corner.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Drugs in athletics =
Suicidal strength.

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Martha Stewart =
"Rats! What a term."

THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
The actor Marlon Brando =
Born to act hard-man role.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The rider Lance Armstrong of Austin, Texas =
So, a man garners sixth 'Tour de France' title!

3rd - Jaybur with:
Adm. Horatio Nelson =
Oh, and I lost one arm.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Microsoft products =
Third of computer's cost...

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology =
They teach a lot of stunts to genius chemists.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Master of Arts =
So smart after.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The new Bond girl in Lee Tamahori's 'Die Another Day' =
I admit, I had to see renowned Halle Berry in a thong!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Sir Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, Bill Wyman, Ron Wood and the late Brian Jones =
The Rolling Stones, who are a wrinkly, jaded, raw, animal, jetset, magic, rich, British rock band.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Apprentice (n.): one bound by indenture to serve another for a prescribed time period, so as to learn an art or trade. =
'The Apprentice' (n.): an adored on-air contest -- observe as arbiter Donald Trump berates one poor intern: "You're fired!"

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
"I think I did something for the worst possible reason
- just because I could. I think that's the most, just
about the most morally indefensible reason that anybody
could have for doing anything. When you do something
just because you could. I've thought about it a lot.
And there are lots of more sophisticated explanations,
more complicated psychological explanations. But none
of them are an excuse. Only a fool does not look to
explain his mistakes."

- William Jefferson Clinton

=

I toppled Saddam Hussein "just because I could". That's
the best excuse I can think of. OK, so no major "weapons
of mass destruction" were found, exactly. Many U.S.
military innocently lost their lives to buy oil. So? I
feel Baghdad is now a safer place. No, I haven't thought
it through at all. Others did. It seems to them that the
only possible explanation's that I'm congenitally one damn
'stoopid' fool. Officially moronic in the extreme. A drunk
lunatic joke. Out soon, no job. Boo hoo!

- George Bush

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
(The original show's opening lines, as uttered by Captain Kirk)

Space... The final frontier.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its five year mission:
To explore strange new worlds...
To seek out new life and new civilizations...
To boldly go where no man has gone before!

=

Shatner... The worst thespian.
This feeble series presents his ongoing, rash efforts to speak fiercely and emote.
His insane pronunciations:
Will agonize even hardcore Trekkies...
Will prove brains need to get oxygen to be alive...
Will draw attention away from his goofy toupee!

3rd - Jaybur with:
Last evening I was sitting at the bottom of my garden,
smoking a reflective cheroot, when I chanced to look up
at the night sky. As I gazed, I marvelled at the myriad
of stars glistening like pieces of quicksilver cast
ceaselessly on black velvet.

In awe I watched the waxen moon ride like an amber chariot
across the zenith of the heavens, towards the ebony void
of infinite space, wherein the tethered bulks of Jupiter
and Mars hung forever festooned in their orbital majesty.

And as I stared in wonderment, I thought to myself:
'I must put a roof on this outside lavatory.'

=

The image of a poetic individual evoked here, is just so
different from that expected of Les Dawson:
While on stage as a panto dame, trying to be dainty in a
big wig and frighteningly outsize bloomers! Or a filthy,
lascivious old man shouting: 'Knickers, Knackers, Knockers!'

No one told a better mother-in-law joke than Les. 'The day
that Mother-in-Law came to visit, the mice threw themselves
at the traps.' His distinctive humour was a hit, earthy,
yet never coarse: definitely never forgotten!

The unique face of this oversized clown, vital to his act,
resembled a bag of spanners.

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
May I take the liberty to introduce myself as; Mr. Yeng Zang, Bank Manager of a reputable bank in Taipei, Taiwan

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Australia

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
If by Rudyard Kipling

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
The Missionary Position =
So, I say, it's: "I'm in her, on top".

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
So distressing: The pain and misery of female cystitis =
My piss is a steamy needle of fire, and O Christ it stings!

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
A licensed brothel =
Behold! It's cleaner.