Anagrammy Placings by Jaybur in 2004
All the highly-placed anagrams by Jaybur from the 2004 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Legal separations =
Agree on split, alas.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Lady with the Lamp =
Helping men who fell: it's rather an angelic duty.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
A wise thought: tho' her anatomy has its charms.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, April 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Will Shakespeare, the Immortal Bard =
A past writer, he had memorable skill.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Manchester United Soccer Team =
Cute men in red score at matches!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, April 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Museum n: a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value =
Oh, I mean giving life to curious old artifacts, microscopic dry bones, nice gilt chairs or even, sadly, just plain tat.
LONG CATEGORY, April 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
SCIENTISTS' REPLIES to an invitation to a ball
Ampere was worried he wasn't current.
Audubon said he'd have to wing it.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
Darwin waited to see what evolved.
Descartes said he'd think about it.
Dr. Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.
Edison thought it would be illuminating.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
Hawking tried to string enough time together to make space in his schedule.
Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.
Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."
Newton planned to drop in.
Ohm resisted the idea.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought.
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Volta was electrified, and Archimedes buoyant, at the thought.
Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
=
MORE REPLIES
Maria Callas accepted, hitting the right note.
The great Monet gave the impression he could attend.
Thomas Hardy, the poet, was doubtful 'Oh, I think I'll get there, touch wood.'
Queen Victoria said 'No! I 'm not amused.'
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle deduced the evening would be interesting.
Will Shakespeare penned a handwritten letter: 'O, methinks in truth 'twill be my pleasure to attend '
Sir Peter Paul Rubens 's reply was colourful, indeed, a delight.
Johann Sebastian Bach composed a tuneful note
Mad old Dali, who often twiddled with his moustache, said he'd note the date. Odd.
Sir Noel Coward wrote 'What, me? When? But of course love; too divine, dahling!'
Ted (Teeth) Heath said no. He's working, see. (Tut-tut!)
Picasso's reply was an unbelievable sight.
Ogden Nash, the US wag, wrote regretting he'd got a prior engagement, OK?
Seurat said with regret, he had to decline due to artwork.
The comedy duo Laurel and Hardy giggled. 'What a wheeze! What's afoot? About twelve inches?'
Dr Watson said thanks. I suspect I'll be there, with detective Holmes.
Captain Cook said fine, if I stay in the vicinity (but he might've been at sea)
Sir Edward Elgar felt he must stay in: he'd got ditties, variations and such, to attend to.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
The new SPIDERMAN movie =
Made with even MORE spin!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Adm. Horatio Nelson =
Oh, and I lost one arm.
LONG CATEGORY, July 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Last evening I was sitting at the bottom of my garden,
smoking a reflective cheroot, when I chanced to look up
at the night sky. As I gazed, I marvelled at the myriad
of stars glistening like pieces of quicksilver cast
ceaselessly on black velvet.
In awe I watched the waxen moon ride like an amber chariot
across the zenith of the heavens, towards the ebony void
of infinite space, wherein the tethered bulks of Jupiter
and Mars hung forever festooned in their orbital majesty.
And as I stared in wonderment, I thought to myself:
'I must put a roof on this outside lavatory.'
=
The image of a poetic individual evoked here, is just so
different from that expected of Les Dawson:
While on stage as a panto dame, trying to be dainty in a
big wig and frighteningly outsize bloomers! Or a filthy,
lascivious old man shouting: 'Knickers, Knackers, Knockers!'
No one told a better mother-in-law joke than Les. 'The day
that Mother-in-Law came to visit, the mice threw themselves
at the traps.' His distinctive humour was a hit, earthy,
yet never coarse: definitely never forgotten!
The unique face of this oversized clown, vital to his act,
resembled a bag of spanners.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Former President Bill Clinton's autobiography =
"My Life": or another opportunist scribbling deal?
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Anonymous message =
No name, so may guess.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Beslan School, Russia =
Oh, no classes. Burials.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, the Lady with a Lamp =
This Crimea War angel, on duty helping the fallen.
LONG CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
'A Story Wet As Tears' by Marge Piercy
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
The singer Luciano Pavarotti =
I have operatic lungs to train!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2004:
eq.3rd - Jaybur with:
"All I want is a room somewhere
Far away from the cold night air" =
We mean fair lady's emotional wish for warmth... large chair too.
LONG CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.
The bartender says, "But you're a duck."
"Yep, that is very true," says the duck.
"And you talk, too!" exclaims the bartender.
"Indeed I do," says the duck, "I'd like a large beer, and one of your finest sandwiches."
"Certainly," says the bartender, "it's just we don't get to see too many ducks in this pub.
What are you doing around these parts?"
"I'm working for a builder in this area," replies the duck.
So then the duck has his beer and sandwich, pays up and leaves.
One day, the ringleader of a circus comes into the pub, and the bartender tells him about his clever friend,
the talking duck.
"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "ask him to come over and see me."
The next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, you're in luck. I lined you
up with a top job paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck, "where?"
"At the circus," says the bartender.
"The circus?"
"That's right," replies the bartender.
"That place with all those animals? With the great big tent?"
"Yes, that's right," says the bartender.
The duck looks confused.
"So what do they want with a plasterer?"
=
This duck walks into a crowded city pub and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says "No, sir." The duck says, "Cheers!" and leaves.
The next day the duck is back in the pub. He says, "I'm curious. Are you certain you don't have any fruit left?
Such as juicy little grapes, by any chance?" The bartender says no, and the duck goes away.
Two days later, the duck's back. He walks up to the bar, and sees the bartender. "Hello, I'm here again,
bartender! Might you have some nice fresh grapes to cheer me up this evening?"
This irritates the bartender, Harry, who's extremely tired and wound up, and he loses his composure at this
juncture. He starts to twitch: he's boiling mad. He screams at the duck, "Listen to me, you wretched, scrawny
little bird! You heard me! I told you no, I didn't, and if you keep asking me, I will nail both your thick, webbed
feet to the floor, OK?"
The duck seems a little startled at his reaction and hurries away.
Despite this, the duck returns a day later. He walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?"
The bartender replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Paula Radcliffe wins the NY Marathon =
Fit new champion had a really fast run.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Angel of the Crimea =
Once using gentle care, for men in fragile health.
LONG CATEGORY, December 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Christmas Story from Luke, Chapter Two
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