Anagrammy Placings by nedesto in 2013
All the highly-placed anagrams by nedesto from the 2013 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2013:
eq3rd - nedesto with:
A thoroughbred stallion =
That old labouring horse!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
President to ban assault rifles =
Portends less urban fatalities.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Lamb of God threatened at ~
the Battle of Armageddon.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Harry was finally going to be a groom and he was excited about his upcoming marriage.
As he was leaving the office, Harry noticed his boss was walking over, his large hand outstretched.
"Here here ,Harry, congratulations! Now I just want to tell you that I have been married for thirty years and I am sure that you'll always recall this day with the fondest of memories as the very happiest day of your entire life!" he professed with a wink, a nod, and a heartfelt handshake.
"But sir", spoke Harry, seeming a little confused, "I am not getting married until tomorrow!"
"Yeah, Harry, I know", said his boss.
=
While Charley was at a marriage seminar, everyone was telling how long they'd been married. Charley said that he and his wife had been married for almost fifty years.
"That is so neat!" said the group's leader. "Could you share some of your insights?"
"It's just that I treat my wife well, buy her gifts, take her on trips," Charley answered. "For our twentieth anniversary I took her down to the Bahamas."
"That's such a moving inspiration for us all!" said the leader. "What are you going to do for your next anniversary?" she said.
"Well," said Charley "I'm thinking of going back down to the Bahamas to pick her up."
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, February 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
Oscar winner Daniel Day-Lewis =
Is war-weary indeed as Lincoln.
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Flowers unfold =
Full of wonders.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
The Vatican's College of Cardinals =
God's half-secret Italian conclave.
LONG CATEGORY, March 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
Years ago in Ireland, there was a priest who was very anti-British. Every Sunday he'd blast them from the pulpit. He became so notorious that the Pope summoned the priest to Rome.
"Now look here, Father," said the Pope, "We want peace between the British and the Irish. You are not helping matters at all. Kiss my ring and then swear by the Virgin that you'll never ever mention the British again."
"But ... " the priest stammered.
"No buts," said the Pope. "Swear here and swear now or there'll be official trouble!"
"Aye, Holy Father," frowned the father. "All right."
The very next Sunday was Easter, and the caustic priest was back in the pulpit giving the annual Easter sermon.
He got to the part of the Easter story where Jesus said, "And so now one of you will betray Me."
The priest continued: "Then Saint Andrew lept up and said, 'Tis me Lord?' and the Lord said, 'Nay, Andy darlin'. Here now, sit down and dunna worry.'
"Then Saint John got up with tears in his eyes and cried, 'Or me Lord?' And the Lord said, 'Nay Nay, relax Johnny me boy, it's not you. Here now, sit down and dunna fret.'
"And then that wicked worthless mongrel Judas Iscariot slowly rose to his feet. And when he looked at the Lord he said, 'Blimey, Mate. Are ya thinking it's me?"
=
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet, walks into the pub and orders three beers.
The bartender draws the man three pints which he drinks alone.
An hour later he orders three more. This happens yet again.
The next evening the Irishman again orders the usual three pints at a time. And again. Soon the entire town is whispering about Old Three Pints.
A few days later, the bartender broaches the subject guardedly. "I sure don't mean to pry, okay? We're just wondering why is it do you always get three pints?" he says.
The man replies, "I've two brothers, you see. Paddy is in America, and Neil is in Australia. We always get some beers for each other to maintain the family bond."
With this answer Old Three Pints became a local celebrity and source of pride to the town.
Then, one day, he walks in and orders only two pints. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This went on the whole night. The word flies around town.
The next day, the bartender says, "We'd all just wanted to offer our sympathy to you for the loss of your brother. You know... two pints and all..."
The man ponders this a moment, and replies, "Oh Paddy and Neil are alive and well. It's just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."
SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
1. Brusque; mean
6. Underestimate
11. Propose
12. Minks
14. Mutiny
15. A nascent sun
16. Sol
17. A giant gaseous planet
19. Harness; strap
20. A wee lad
21. Tavern; saloon (8,4)
25. A church
27. Worried
29. Whisper at him or her "Hey you..."
31. SSN equivalent (6,9,6)
33. Acreage
35. Urchin
36. Lloyd's of London, e.g.
39. Incipience (8,4)
41. Arctic; bitter
42. A tear
46. Zodiac
48. All our pennies contain it
49. Hotelier
51. Senseless
52. Appropriate
53. Sure was one remote planet
54. Stretch
55. Felicitously
=
1. Unpalatable
2. Usual observances
3. Union
4. I zap hair
5. Yard construction (9,12)
6. Illness
7. Alien phoning home?
8. Reins
9. A dye
10. PC time-waster
13. War deity
18. Not hers
22. Spook's month
23. Super___
24. Quasi-stellar
26. A part in ears
28. Articulate
30. Sun-centered revolution
31. I play racquet games in here (7,5)
32. ___ minor
34. Genuine patriots
37. Portfolio
38. Plus; also
40. Watch; see
43. Seamen's deity
44. Connected
45. The Oracle was seen in here
47. Scarf
50. Hector, e.g.
LONG CATEGORY, April 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
The 80 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns were gathered around the bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They tried to give her some warm milk but she refused it. One of them, Sister Savanna, took the glass back to the pantry.
Finding a bottle of Irish whiskey that they'd received as a gift the previous Christmas, Savanna opened it and poured a generous amount into the glass.
Back at the Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother had a little, then a bit more and before long she had drank the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother," they softly implored in earnest, "Can you please give us some of your wisdom before you go with God."
The Mother eased herself up in bed and with a look of sure piety said, "Don't sell that cow."
=
Not so long ago, Peter, an old German man was feeling guilty about something he had done, so he decided to confess.
"Oh, forgive my sins, Father. I feel rather terrible because during the war I hid a sorry refugee in the darkness of my attic." he pled.
The understanding padre spoke, "Oh, but that's no sin! Look, I wouldn't feel bad about that."
"But I made the poor man pay me 80 Marks for every week he stayed there."
The padre assured him, "So honestly, it wasn't the most noble thing to do, I suppose; charging to keep him secret. But remember you did help save his life, after all, and that's something at least. Don't worry over it so; Lord Jesus shows mercy."
Thrilled, Peter said, "Oh thank you, Father! That has totally eased my furrowed brow. So, one other thing to ask... do I have to tell him the war's over?"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
1. Leg part
3. Grieves
6. Gorge
8. Key
12. Twice four
14. Ordinary seasoning
15. Ariel e.g.
16. Story
18. Roadster
19. Eternity
21. Ten gauges
23. Gradual
27. Shade
29. Talent
31. Alveolar malady
33. Hotel
34. At ___ door
35. Thin; minimise
36. Rested on a divan
38. This month's
40. Chill; ice
41. Showoff; ham
45. Booze
47. Seasickness
51. Era
52. Any female deer
53. Poppy pit?
56. Muddle
57. Sharon was a good one
59. Trusting
60. Fume; emanation
61. Lenity
62. Foul; revile; ruin
63. Beeper
=
1. Grope
2. Generator
3. Meteor
4. Stingy
5. Ocean
6. Staid
7. Bravado
9. Sully
10. Grant
11. Vile
13. Plus
17. Gentle
20. Languid; weary; holey
22. To turn to the right
24. Speechlessness
25. Foam
26. Proper
28. Leader
30. Animated
32. Agonizing
33. Void; banal
37. Fame
39. Traipse idly amok
42. A finale
43. A revolution
44. Some sword-like irises
46. Hefty tumefaction
48. Gathering
49. One fine sword
50. Dreary
51. He authored Crusoe
54. Male; he
55. Dismay
58. So intense
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Models unrobing =
Big round melons!
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Frosted cupcake =
Packed fructose.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
Memorial Day observances in the US =
A Monday hails our best servicemen.
LONG CATEGORY, May 2013:
eq2nd - nedesto with:
Fergus is at a local bar and pukes all over his own shirt, which was
brand new before he came in.
"Oh, damn!" he says. "I puked all over my shirt, and If the wife finds
out, she is going to kill me."
"Ah, not to worry, Fergus" says the bartender. "Here, stick a twenty in
your pocket and just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some
cash to cover the cleaning bill."
So Fergus goes on home and tells his wife about this guy who puked all
over him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. "Uh huh.
And why are there two twenties?" she says.
Fergus replies, "Oh, yeah. And that guy crapped in my pants, too!"
=
One evening at the brewery this chap Casey's stinkin' drunk, so the bar
keeper says, "Seems you've had too much. Go home."
Casey gets up off the stool, falls down, and crawls out the door.
Outside, Casey falls down again, so he crawls home.
When he arrives, he falls again trying to open the door. He crawls to
his room, stands up and falls straight in the bed in a drunken stupor.
The following morning his wife wakes him up, "You've been drinking,
haven't you?'
Bewildered, Casey mutters, 'What makes you think that?'
His wife replies, " 'Cos the pub just phoned. They said you left your
wheelchair there again.'
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
Common STDs:
1. Chlamydia
2. Gonorrhea
3. Syphilis
4. Herpes
=
1. Hot, moldy ass
2. Limp penis
3. Chancres
4. Hemorrhoids? Gay!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Worlds best-selling autos:
1. Model T
2. Beetle
3. Corolla
=
1. Cool roadsters
2. One little bug
3. Well-assembled lot
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, June 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
=
Gollum and nine knights all endanger hobbit on errand to melt the thing there in Mt. Doom's inner fire.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
Andrew Lloyd Webber musical The Phantom of the Opera =
French madman woos lady to be pupil below her theatre.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
Glee star Cory Monteith is dead =
Actor's demise in hotel tragedy.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, July 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi =
He got imprisoned in army stampede.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
The Signs of the Ecliptic:
1. Aries
2. Taurus
3. Gemini
4. Cancer
5. Leo
6. Virgo
7. Libra
8. Scorpio
9. Sagittarius
10. Capricornus
11. Aquarius
12. Pisces
=
1. Ram
2. Steer
3. Pair
4. Carcinogenic
5. Big cat purrs
6. Ice-girl is virtuous
7. Scale
8. Poisonous
9. Centaur
10. Quasi-goat
11. Pitcher
12. Fishies sail
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
The painting of The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci =
Forty silver coins leapt up behind a poignant death.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, August 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
The singer and television actress Miley Cyrus =
Noisy music, great riches, and very little sense!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, August 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
This boy's a grocery bagger at an old supermarket. One day the store installs a neat new machine which juices oranges.
=
Eyeing it, he asks, "Wow, can I help run that machine too?"
"Sorry, lad, no deal," The store manager says. "Baggers can't be juicers."
LONG CATEGORY, August 2013:
Eq3rd - nedesto with:
A police officer arrives upon an evidently terrible rush-hour crash; driver and passenger were both dead. As he looks upon the massively brutal carnage a little monkey labors out unhurt; it hops near the car.
Somberly, he looks at the monkey and says, "If only you could talk, you adorable rascal." The monkey looks up at the officer and bobs his head up and down.
"You really understand me?" asks the officer. Again, the monkey bobs his head at the officer.
"Did you see it all?"
"Yes," motions the monkey.
"What's happened?"
The monkey pretends to have a can and turns it up beside his mouth. "They'd been drinking?" asks the officer.
"Yes."
"Right. What else?"
The monkey pinches his fingers together and holds them near his mouth. "Damn! Smoking marijuana?"
"Yes."
"Right. What else?"
The little monkey motions, "Screwing."
"Dear Lord! Screwing, too?" mutters the astounded officer.
"Yes."
"Let's see... they were drinking, smoking and screwing before they crashed?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motions the monkey.
=
Mickey O'Reilly walks into a bar when he is obviously very drunk and staggers up to the bar. Then he seats himself unsteadily on a stool and he orders a drink.
The bartender says to Mickey, "Seems you have had plenty enough to drink, but I can happily phone you a ride if you want me to."
Mickey softly scoffs. He climbs off the stool, and then uneasily staggers out. Just a few minutes later, he stumbles in the side door. He staggers up and he orders a drink.
The bartender comes over, again refusing service to Mickey, again offering to call a ride. Mickey eyes the bartender angrily for a moment and he shows himself out the side door.
Then a few minutes later, Mickey drunkenly staggers in through the back door. He then plops himself up on a stool, and he orders a drink.
The bartender reminds Mickey that he is entirely drunk so he won't get served. He then warns that he could phone the police instead.
Mickey looks at him and cries in hopeless anguish, "How many bloody bars do you work at anyhow?!"
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
Anthony D. Weiner loses in the Democratic primary =
Penis tweet cost him NY mayoral race in horrid end!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
A cheap costume =
Cape, moustache.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2013:
1st - nedesto with:
German physicist Albert Einstein =
This gentleman I respect is brainy.
LONG CATEGORY, October 2013:
eq3rd - nedesto with:
Top Ten Golf Two-liners
Golfer: I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: Do you think you could keep your head down for that long?
Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you already moved half of the earth.
Golfer: Do you think my swing is better?
Caddy: Oh, yes sir. You always miss the balls much closer now.
Golfer: Do you imagine I can get to the hole with a five iron?
Caddy: Yes... eventually.
Golfer: Please stop looking at your watch. It's too disturbing.
Caddy: But it isn't a watch, sir. It's a compass. ~
Golfer: You must be the most terrible, awkward caddy in the world.
Caddy: I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence.
Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good, sir. Though personally, I prefer golf.
Golfer: This is the most rough, uneven course I've ever seen.
Caddy: This isn't the course, sir. We must have left that over an hour ago.
Golfer: Now that can't be my ball, it looks too old.
Caddy: We teed off a long time ago, sir.
Golfer: Do you think playing on a Sunday is a sin?
Caddy: Personally, I think the way that you play, it's a sin any day.
Brandishing a bucket, he announced, "I'm here to feed our piranhas."
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2013:
3rd - nedesto with:
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug =
Bilbo means death to this tough foe!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
This rainy, sullen, wet November weather =
It's when everyone wants their umbrella!
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, November 2013:
eq2nd - nedesto with:
The Norwegian prodigy Sven Magnus Oen Carlsen =
An upset over reigning Anand won me chess glory.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
A list of the solar system's eight remaining planets:
1. Mercury
2. Venus
3. Earth
4. Mars
5. Jupiter
6. Saturn
7. Uranus
8. Neptune
=
1. A jumpy messenger
2. Authentic love
3. Terra
4. Unruly arms
5. Emperor
6. Sunlit rings spun
7. Titans' father
8. Sea enthusiast
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, November 2013:
>1st - nedesto with:
"A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about." Miguel de Unamuno
=
"As a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, how a mammoth amount of knowledge is useful, you poor boob!"
RUDE CATEGORY, December 2013:
2nd - nedesto with:
Coitus Interruptus method =
Promise: Outside
Truth: Cunt
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