Anagrammy Placings by nedesto in 2014
All the highly-placed anagrams by nedesto from the 2014 Anagrammy Awards.
RUDE CATEGORY, January 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
The breast augmentation surgery =
Tart: "My tits are sure gonna be huge!"
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, February 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
1. Adam and Eve
2. Lucifer
3. Noah
4. Moses
5. Saul the king
6. Gabriel
=
1. Shamed us
2. Foul? Me??
3. Big ark!
4. Covenant
5. Head Israeli
6. Angel
LONG CATEGORY, February 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
A young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a relatively straightforward lawsuit whereupon he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.
While St. Peter asked him inside he began complaining that his death had got to be some kind of mistake. "Wait! I'm much too young to be dead! Why I'm only thirty!"
St. Peter agreed that thirty seemed to be very young to enter the pearly gates, and finally agreed that he'd check on his case.
When St. Peter returned, he cooly told the attorney, "Well my son, I'm afraid that the mistake must be yours..."
"We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to all of your clients: You are a hundred and two!"
=
One morning in court, one attorney looked at the other, "You do look truly bushed this morning!"
The other lawyer said despondently, "I got up with this most beastly headache yesterday morning and no matter what, I can't get rid of the damned thing."
The first lawyer shrugged. "When I get terrible headaches, I take a few hours off during the day, go home, and make passionate love to my stunningly beautiful wife. Works every time for me," he said.
Later that afternoon, the two lawyers met. The first assured the second, "You seem much better!"
The second replied happily, "Yes, that was brilliant advice you gave me. And you have got an absolutely beautiful house too, by the way."
RUDE CATEGORY, February 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
The diseased vagina =
I have end-stage AIDS.
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
Gentle spring rains =
Green plants rising.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Label Crimea ~
reclaimable.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, March 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Famous military leader Napoleon Bonaparte =
Little man of Paris, marooned a year upon Elba.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."
=
Bird's Law shows the exact hoisting capacity of the noblest swallow when in flight happens to be the inverse of its speed.
LONG CATEGORY, March 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
When Dermot showed up at Mass on Sunday, the priest almost fell down in surprise. Dermot had not been seen inside the church in his whole life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Dermot. "But Dermot," he said, “What is it that made you come around here anyway?"
"I got to be honest with you Father O'Brien." Dermot said. "I lost my hat and I really, really loved that hat dearly. I knew that old Tully had one like it and that he came to church every Sunday. I also figured that Tully would take off his hat and that he’d put it in the back. So, then I was going to leave after Communion and steal Tully's hat." ~
“I noticed you didn't steal his hat. What was it that has changed your mind?" the priest asked.
"Well, after I heard you finish the sermon on the ten commandments, I didn’t wanna steal Tully’s hat any longer." Dermot said.
The priest gave him a big ecclesiastic smile “Well, yes," he puffed, "after I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' you naturally concluded you would've rather done without your hat than have to burn to ash down in Hell's pit, right?"
Dermot shook his head. "Why no, Father", he said. "After you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I happened to remember where it was I’d left my hat."
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
It's National Honesty Day =
I don't say any lies on that!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
The USA Internal Revenue Service =
Their inane vultures never cease!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Absent Place-an April Day, Emily Dickinson
Absent Place-an April Day-
Daffodils a-blow
Homesick curiosity
To the Souls that snow-
Drift may block within it
Deeper than without-
Daffodil delight but
Him it duplicate-
=
Delicately bathed in paint,
All cold lookouts did wait.
Flowers bound up with duty shine
Fragrant, sappy, soft, sedate.
Outlined in birthday chiffon;
Dreamlike, whimsical.
Imitates a picky patch;
Lithe mobs botanical.
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
Television news documentaries ~
remind us violence ain't so sweet.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, May 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
The artist Leonardo da Vinci =
A dated historical inventor.
LONG CATEGORY, May 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Ludwig Wittgenstein: "Crossing" was individually encoded into those objects "chicken" and "road" until that caused the actualization of the phenomenon.
Hippocrates: It is usually because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Jack Nicholson: Because it f-ing wanted to. That is f-ing why
Mark Twain: The unfortunate news of its untimely crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me thirty minutes with it and I'll find out.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Oliver North: Because our entire National Security was at stake.
B.F. Skinner: The external influences which had virtually pervaded its sensorium from birth had likewise caused it to unknowingly develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while fully believing such actions to be of its own free will.
Albert Einstein: The chicken crossed the road or the road crossed it; that depends upon your frame of reference.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order for it to act in good faith and for it to be true to itself, that chicken found it morally necessary to cross that road. ~
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that chickens cross roads at this juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought each such occurrence into being.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: To ask the forbidden question is to deny one's own essential chicken-nature.
Timothy Leary: Just because it's the only kind of damned trip the Establishment would let it take.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Salvador Dali: Fish.
Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.
Darwin: It was the first logical next step after leaping headlong down from the trees.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not certain which side of the road it was on, though coincidentally it was moving downright fast.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of defiance, hence we were justified in dropping fifty tons of nerve gas on it.
Henry David Thoreau: For it chose to live deliberately ... and suck the marrow out of life.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Ronald Reagan: I forgot.
The Sphinx: Can you tell me?
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, June 2014:
Eq3rd - nedesto with:
The famous Beatle's song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds =
In which a mindless young beauty takes most of the LSD.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
The annual summer solstice =
Sun reaches one tall summit.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, June 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
The famous Liverpudlians: John, Paul, George, Ringo =
Four male English pals have joined touring group.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, June 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Top Five Currently Playing Movies:
1. Maleficent
2. X-Men: Days of Future Past
3. A Million Ways to Die in the West
4. Godzilla
5. Blended
=
1. Evil fairy softens
2. Mutant vs. machine title
3. Family Guy went cowboy
4. Noxious deep sea lizard
5. Plodding, repellent date film
LONG CATEGORY, June 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN HATE TO HEAR FROM MEN
1. You sure it's mine?
2. That time of the month?
3. Your sister is pretty hot.
4. That is your mother talking.
5. Look, it's a guy thing...
6. If you're tired, I'd go home.
7. Gained weight? LOL!
8. How many men did you date?
9. Cookies? Are you still hungry?
10. Relax!
=
TOP TEN THINGS MEN HATE TO HEAR FROM WOMEN
1. Huh, are you going to wear that?
2. I'm not your mommy.
3. You're acting like my ex did.
4. We need to talk this through.
5. I'll do it myself.
6. Do you think that she's gorgeous...?
7. Your friend there is really hot
8. Get a pair.
9. It's not you, it's me.
10. Is it in?
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
42 GREAT THINGS ABOUT BEING A MAN
42 GREAT THINGS ABOUT BEING A WOMAN
GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Those who deny climate change =
How they had to mangle science!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2014:
eq3rd - nedesto with:
And Moses went up the sacred mountain to meet the Lord =
Path used to reach one renowned Old Testament summit.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, July 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Priam's son Hector =
Heroic sportsman!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Twelve months within one year:
1. January
2. February
3. March
4. April
5. May
6. June
7. July
8. August
9. September
10. October
11. November
12. December
=
1. New Year
2. Carnival
3. Rejuvenate
4. Beauty
5. Buttercup
6. Enjoy Summer!
7. Blueberry Bloom
8. Meander'n
9. Warm
10. Majestic
11. Frosty
12. High Hope
LONG CATEGORY, July 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Signs You have Grown Up:
- Your house plants are all alive... only you are not smoking any of them
- Having sex in a twin bed is really out of the question
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge
- Seven AM is the time that you are getting up, instead of going to bed
- You really watch the Weather Channel
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hooking up and breaking up
- You are the one calling the police station because, "Those no-good kids next door just would not turn down their effing stereo!"
- Older relatives now feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you
- You do not know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
- Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up
- All that you feed your dogs is Science Diet instead of random McDonalds leftovers
- Eating breakfast foods at breakfast time
- You go in to a drug store for ibuprofen, not for pregnancy tests ~
- You suddenly hear your favorite song everywhere... in elevators
- To sleep on the couch hurts your back nowadays
- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "pretty dressed up"
- You no longer sleep from noon to six
- Dinner and a movie is a whole date instead of the beginning of one
- Eating a basket of chicken wings at three AM would decidedly upset, rather than settle, your stomach
- You grudgingly go from one hundred twenty days vacation to fourteen
- A four dollar bottle of bubbly is no longer "the real good stuff"
- The famous excuse of "I just can't drink like I used to," replaces, "I'm absolutely never going to drink wine again."
- Most of the time and energy you spend in front of a computer is for actual academic work
- You no longer drink at home to save money before going out to a bar
- You read this list with desperation, looking for one sign that it doesn't apply to you!
RUDE CATEGORY, July 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Shit myself =
Filthy mess!
GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
A supervolcano =
Cone pours lava.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
Film director Sir Peter Jackson =
Credit for JRR Tolkien escapism.
RUDE CATEGORY, August 2014:
2nd - nedesto with:
Men's huge erections =
Ten gruesome inches!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, September 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Rowling's Harry Potter series of children's books =
Thin sorcerer boy inspires older Hogwarts folks.
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Girl's nude silhouette =
Outline sure delights!
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
The cheating husband =
Caught... then banished!
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
Cartoonist Walter Elias Disney =
Storyteller saw ideas in action.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, October 2014:
1st - nedesto with:
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention =
Doctors and nurses there repel one vast infection!
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, October 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Yesterday is History,
Tomorrow a Mystery,
Today is a Gift,
That's why it's called The Present.
=
Hasty years missed;
"Sorry" is what pity left.
Tottery gray with mist;
One day closer to death.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
A German Panzer Division =
More raping Nazis invade.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2014:
Eq1st - nedesto with:
"Away in a manger, no crib for his bed" =
We sing in a choir for Mary and babe.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2014:
3rd - nedesto with:
Ugly Sweater Day =
Wear gaudy style!
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