Long Anagram by Meyran Kraus
T E S T I M O N I A L S *******
This program does work, but you must follow it EXACTLY! Especially the rule of not trying to place your name in a different position, it won't work and you'll lose a lot of potential income. I'm living proof that it works. It really is a great opportunity to make relatively easy money, with little cost to you. If you do choose to participate, follow the program exactly, and you'll be on your way to financial security.
Steven Bardfield, Portland, OR
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My name is Mitchell. My wife, Jody, and I live in Chicago, IL. I am a cost accountant with a major U.S. Corporation and I make pretty good money. When I received the program, I grumbled to Jody about receiving "junk mail." I made fun of the whole thing, spouting my knowledge of the population and percentages involved. I "knew" it wouldn't work. Jody totally ignored my supposed intelligence and jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun of her, and was ready to lay the old "I told you so" on her when the thing didn't work... well, the laugh was on me!
Within two weeks, she had received over 50 responses. Within 45 days, she had received over $147,200 in $5 bills! I was shocked! I was sure that I had it all figured and that it wouldn't work. I AM a believer now. I have joined Jody in her "hobby." I did have seven more years until retirement, but I think of the "rat race" and it's not for me. We owe it all to MLM.
Mitchell Wolf MD., Chicago, IL
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THE main reason for this letter is to convince you that this system is honest, lawful, extremely profitable, and is a way to get a large amount of money in a short time. I was approached several times before I checked this out. I joined just to see what one could expect in return for the minimal effort and money required. To my astonishment, I received $36,470.00 in the first 14 weeks, with money still coming in.
Charles Morris, Esq.
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Not being the gambling type, it took me several weeks to make up my mind to participate in this plan. But conservative that I am, I decided that the initial investment was so little that there was just no way that I wouldn't get enough orders to at least get my money back. Boy, was I surprised when I found my medium-size post office box crammed with orders! For awhile, it got so overloaded that I had to start picking up my mail at the window. I'll make more money this year than any 10 years of my life before. The nice thing about this deal is that it doesn't matter where people live. There simply isn't a better investment with a faster return.
Paige Willis, Des Moines, IA
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I had received this program before. I deleted it, but later I wondered if I shouldn't have given it a try. Of course, I had no idea who to contact to get another copy, so I had to wait until I was e-mailed another program. Eleven months passed then it came...I didn't delete this one!!! I made more than $41,000 on the first try!!
Violet Wilson, Johnstown, PA
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This is my third time to participate in this plan. We have quit our jobs, and will soon buy a home on the beach and live off the interest on our money. The only way on earth that this plan will work for you is if you do it. For your sake, and for your family's sake don't pass up this golden opportunity. Good luck and happy spending!
Kerry Ford, Centerport, NY
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=
VOWING PEOPLE
"I've tried that program! It worked just fine. The net income was nice, too. Tons of dollars. Tens of dollars. Tons of tens of neat net loot. What loot? This new loot I won. Loot's a hoot, in notes of one. Notes of ten, notes of one, I'm a net-nut loot-loon now! Oh, and how!!! Net loon done, more money won, lewd dude nudie woody doody oh no, please, not the straight jacket!"
'Dr. Seuss', Babylon Institute for the Mentally Ill
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"What? Spam? Wow, deja vu! Yeah, I can, like, relate to it. Let me tell you a story, 'kay? After a show I did in, like, Vermont, this VERY fat fan tried to pass security. They beat her up a bit, but I told them, it's 'kay, let her go, she's just twelve. Anyway, she told me about this time when she ate, like, TEN cans of Spam after hearing my 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'. I was really flattered, but, like, did you ever TASTE this waxy, gummy stuff? Like, avoid! Don't eat it! That's the moral of this story, or something. Anyway, I really love chat-rooms and MTV -"
Britney Spears, Interview to Penthouse
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"Ya, it is called MLM. I promised I vill mention it on TV if they vill mention my new movie in their evil scam. Did I mention I have a new movie? It is excellent, foxy lady, listen to Arnold. Ya, we exploded a lot of schtuff in it. Don't mind the critics, they are a bunch of illidirade dummies."
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Interview to Colorado News
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"I've heard of that crap. It's a pretty fine chain-letter. Ya know, all of that spam, it's all SPITE... which is pretty cool. Gettin' on people's nerves. OK, a year ago I was gonna deliver a speech at my old school, right, in front of a lot of thirteen-year-olds. I was gonna tell them nice stuff like 'Stay in school' and all that. Then this teacher approached me and told me: "We're very honored to have you, but could you not say dirty words, please?" That really PO'd me. I said, "OK, Sure", then I went up there, right, and opened with: "Good morning, children, fuckiddy fuck fuck shitty cunt tits faggot."
Eminem, State Penitentiary
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"Well, I'm sure that this program is, uh, whatever my daddy said about it, which I'm sure were just good things. I'm ready to cooperate with any program that will bring powder, uh, POWER, to the economy and make the state grow bong - uh, thong - STRONG, I mean strong! Oh, crap. Can I start it all over again?"
G.W. Bush Jr., The White House
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"Jesus fucking christ, can't you see I'm shitting?! Get out! Now!!!"
Mey K., The Toilet
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"Definitely, I tried MLM. I did! It really helped me to move on. I'm now independent, I'm dating again, and I also found this wonderful new job! I'm very - What? More wine, sir? Hold on, I have to take this order."
Monica Lewinsky, Hooters Restaurant
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"Okay, I did it! I murdered Nicole. I murdered her bad
joke of a man. I butchered some more people after it, I just dumped
them in the river. I lied in court, I tried on my kid's glove.
But I did NOT participate in MLM. I have my pride. Now quit following
me.
...What proof? A receipt?... Er, sweetie, call Cochran."
O.J. Simpson, a BMW
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"Spam? Oh, yes, I know a divine recipe with it. It requires a jaw of a cop. I hope this particular spam reaches you, Clarice. Fax me if it does. I'm waiting for you. I'm sipping Chianti with quite a fine body... like yours. I wore my paperboy apron just for you... I lie - a bit silk, but mostly paperboy."
Hannibal Lecter, Italy
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[2,494 letters]
This anagram won an Anagrammy in July 2000 (Long Spam Category) and a Grand Anagrammy.
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