Anagrammy Winners by nedesto in 2012
All the winning anagrams by nedesto from the 2012 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
71% of women usually do think their asses are damn big ~
but 17%, if so asked, would nonetheless marry him again!
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
British scientist Stephen William Hawking =
Knew spacetime with his brilliant insights.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Stop Online Piracy Act =
Potential conspiracy?
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The Superior called the sisters together informing them in dismay,
"And, as of now, we have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!"
=
"Yes! Praise Heaven!" sang a nun coming over to the front of the room
as she cheered, "We're so tired of swilling that damn Chianti!"
RUDE CATEGORY, January 2012:
Eq1st - nedesto with:
Threesomes =
Hetero mess!
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
When I asked my pal Fred about his ornery addiction to ~
brake fluid, he said, "Oh, don't worry, Ed. I can stop any time."
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Bessy the old Guernsey told Molly the heifer, "I've been artificially inseminated; it was done only about four hours ago!"
=
"Hogwash!" Molly said acutely, "I don't believe any of it for one minute."
Bessy raised her aged hoof, "It's entirely true - no bull."
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Top novels:
1. Anna Karenina
2. Madame Bovary
3. War and Peace =
1. Reawakened in a romance
2. A savvy mantrap
3. Bad Napoleon!
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, April 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The top three child prodigies:
1. Mozart
2. Picasso
3. Pascal
=
1. Greatest composer
2. Artistic lad
3. Chap philosophized
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, May 2012:
eq1st - nedesto with:
PM David Cameron =
Vapid commander.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
This man takes his cross-eyed cur to some vet who casually raised it up and peered into its eyes.
The vet heaved a hushed sigh. ~
"My god... I'll have to put this terrier down." he said.
" 'Cause he is cross-eyed!?" asked the upset man.
"No", said the vet, "It's 'cause he's heavy."
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Walt Disney's Pinocchio =
I can shit woody pencils!
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
A documentary =
Camera on duty.
LONG CATEGORY, June 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
How to Defend Yourself Against the Velociraptor
1. You need to be sure you're fighting a velociraptor. To identify it; find something to throw at it. If it runs at you phenomenally fast, infuriated, thrashing and screaming, it probably is a velociraptor. You are now in some big danger.
2. Next, run away. It will catch you immediately.
3. Now's your big chance! Hit it behind the head. But maybe in the arm or the tail.
4. Call the police but don't say much about fighting a velociraptor because they won't believe you; say you are fighting terrorism.
Tips
* Avoid velociraptors.
* I recommend you always have a homemade phony velociraptor costume handy so you can mesmerise a velociraptor into thinking you are also a velociraptor. (Though note: this won't actually work)
Warnings
* Velociraptors have very sharp teeth and hidden claws for penetration as demonstrated in Jurassic Park, when Sam Neill shamelessly uses that raptor claw to discuss slicing that kid up into a mess of flesh confetti.
* Many velociraptors can open doors barehanded and may even have the ability to learn other simple tasks such as: gardening and listening to Country Music.
=
How to Appear Human
1. Choose a Human to imitate. Avoid world leaders; assassination may lead to your being detected.
2. Grow - or attach using adhesive - "Human like" limbs which may be artificially constructed out of ordinary raw materials (e.g. ice, duct tape, etc...) Then select dye color having visibility in the average Human's visual spectrum, applying this dye liberally to any limbs.
3. The final layer is comprised entirely of woven fabric. Depending on the age of the Human which you have chosen to imitate, rips and stretch marks may be very convincing. Finally, apply polystyrene triangles and circles to just the top of your anatomy. Do not overdo it; Humans are not Krakens.
4. You are ready to embark on your mission. To move yourself forward, push against the ground with all of your prostheses that have an orientation towards the native gravitational body.
Tips
* Attaching fibrous protein strands to the top of your outer anatomy along with geometric shapes allows for a more convincing disguise.
Warnings
* Do not eat other Humans in public; experience indicates that their culture considers this wholly unacceptable behavior.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
[This crossword contains four titles from a beloved writer and a farewell highlighted in blue. The letters in the completed crossword grid are an anagram of the combined set of "ACROSS" and "DOWN" clues.]
ACROSS
|
DOWN
|
SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
[This crossword includes two revolutionary scientific theories and the scientist's name highlighted in blue. The letters in the completed 17x17 crossword grid are an anagram of both the 17 "ACROSS" and 17 "DOWN" clues which are anagrams of each other.
As an additional hint, the solution of the three clues highlighted in red comprise an anagram of the scientific effect for which the scientist won the Nobel Prize. (most people think it was for 19-Across or 5-Down)]
ACROSS
|
DOWN
|
[ The Nobel Prize in Physics 1921 was awarded to Albert Einstein "for his services to Theoretical Physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect."]
CREPT+IO+CLOTHE = PHOTOELECTRIC
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The Olympic medals:
1. Gold
2. Silver
3. Bronze
=
1. Lovely gloss!
2. Commendable
3. Third prize
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2012:
eq1st - nedesto with:
1. Facebook
2. Twitter
3. LinkedIn
4. MySpace
5. Google Plus
=
1. Like
2. Compact
3. Working Lead
4. Obsolete
5. Stupefying
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
[This crossword celebrates an important international event and includes nine thematic entries highlighted in blue.
The letters in the completed crossword grid are an anagram of both the "ACROSS" and "DOWN" clues which are anagrams of each other.]
ACROSS
|
DOWN
|
=
RUDE CATEGORY, August 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Airplane stewardesses =
Pert asses wander aisle.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Crossword
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Two fat blokes are at the pub. "Your round," says the one. ~
The other bloke spun, went: "So are you, you fat bastard!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
1. A trap
5. "Arr"
10. Fly! (3,4)
11. A wind instrument
12. Bruce Wayne
15. Baboon
16. Eerie gourd
17. EU's cash
18. Taint
19. A team player
20. ___line
22. A pre-Soviet-era head
25. Zealously keener
27. Prelate
28. Make hot once more
30. I eat aphids
31. A biter
32. Meet
33. Limp
=
2. Mutant
3. Unweave; unknit
4. Mule feed
5. Drop
6. Wits
7. A toy
8. Triple
9. Attorney
13. Crazier
14. Peel area's hair
15. Cooler
20. An inebriate
21. Hid
23. Bespoke
24. Laces a shoe again
25. A yummy brain tempts me
26. Bored area
29. Leer
31. A pet healer
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2012:
eq1st - nedesto with:
A nosy old woman sees Donald in the park eating three candy bars and
then tells him, "Eating so much junk is very bad for you!"
=
"Lady, my grampa Jack lived to be a hunnert."
"And so, naturally he ate candy?" she retorts.
"No, he minded his own fooking business."
LONG CATEGORY, November 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Goofy Definitions:
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.
HEROES: What that guy in a boat has to do.
PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
PARADOX: Are two physicians.
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put cabinets together.
EYEDROPPER: A very clumsy ophthalmologist.
LEFTBANK: What that robber did when his bag was too full of money.
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store has to do.
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees police with.
=
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.
MISTY: How some golfer types create divots.
PARASITES: French things you see from high on top of the Eiffel Tower.
POLARIZE: What penguins see snowdrifts with.
PHARMACIST: Boy who ran off to be a helper on the farm.
ARBITRATOR: Cook that chooses to leave Arby's to work at McDonalds.
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter or cowboy hopes to do.
SUDAFED: Brought harassing litigation against a government agent.
RELIEF: What each tree hopes to do in the Spring.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
1. Go away
4. Lyrical poem
7. Boy kids
9. Crack
14. Inane dunderheads (7,6)
15. Swelling due to disease
16. Abandon it
17. Attain; meet
18. Use a label
20. Drought-weary area (4,4)
22. Rifle type (5,6)
25. Off yourself
27. Intent
28. Salt
30. Loveless, platitudinous union (8,2,11)
33. Couch
35. ___ won't do!
36. Presently
39. Electronic computers use it (7,4)
41. Punch (4,4)
44. Dears
45. Green
46. ___ ___ License Agreement (3,6)
50. Root vegetable
51. French kiss? (6,7)
52. Rein___
53. Perpetrate murder
54. Conditionally
55. Crime
=
1. Yokel, dupe or loon
2. Pasta type
3. Old is reused
5. Fatso
6. Microcomputer core (7,10,4)
7. Sheltered to the wind
8. Nederlands hat (5,3)
10. Currently attractive?
11. Barterer
12. Thank
13. Be decidedly sober
19. Day fifteen
21. A wee pancake
23. Car
24. Angle
26. Gone
29. Calling (5,2,4)
30. Inspirer
31. Curious
32. Twist
34. Consul
37. Cue we use to display ennui
38. Mane style
40. One's motherland
42. Is gleeful
43. A nitrogenous bean
47. Impugn severely
48. Fraction
49. Militia
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The world's five all-time most noteworthy people:
1. Leonardo da Vinci
2. Isaac Newton
3. Albert Einstein
4. Plato
5. Galileo Galilei
=
1. Mona Lisa painter
2. "I'll follow gravity down."
3. "I have entwined spacetime."
4. Rational theologist
5. A telescope led to rebellion
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
1. Molten rock
4. Pop
7. Crooked (4-1-4)
12. Prick
13. Have concerns (5,2)
14. I'm who is Santa's third
15. Birthplace
16. Use my words
17. Blithe
18. Reminiscence
20. Adherence
24. Wise
26. O-C-O (3,3)
28. Sheep heaps
30. Much beloved Crosby tune (3,2,4,3,9)
32. I'm a first for Santa
34. Plaster type
35. Sugary nut confections
38. Scalia, et al (7,5)
40. Smart-ass
43. Vestibule
45. Eyes
46. Mistaken; invalid
48. Calm
49. A kind of 52 Across
50. Cause a humorous crack-up
51. Guides
52. Coconut meringue, e.g.
53. "To our health!"=
1. Us fogies
2. Cartilage
3. Cherub
4. "Do I hear a thousand?" (5,7)
5. Motor
6. When my true love gave me stuff (6,4,2,9)
7. Fickleness
8. Spell check (4,4)
9. "KLANG!" (5,4)
10. Happen
11. Celebration
19. Topic
21. Accolades
22. Semaphores as a distress (1-1-1)
23, Nativity
25. Stacks (5,2)
27. Eccentric human
29. Arborous, resinous sap
31. Chutney
32. Como se dice, "Two"?
33. Complete (5,4)
36. Candy
37. Caribou
39. Cephalopod
41. Intermission
42. Isthmus is a kind (4-2)
43. Enumerates
44. Vile, murky water
47. Scorch or burn
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