Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000


1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Anti-depressants =
Nastiness, depart!

2nd - Art Day with:
Genital herpes =
Lie, shag, repent.

3rd - Daniel F. Etter with:
Death row inmates =
What a monster! Die!!!

Richard Brodie with:
Many girls? I, pro, cope =
Peril coming, so pray!

Linda Garrett with:
Iraq's leader Saddam Hussein bombs Kuwait =
We used a missile, or had a mass anti-Kurd BBQ.

Jaybur with:
Treat gout with cherries =
We got the arthritis cure!

Melaleuca Alternifolia with:
Chimpanzees =
Pez machines.

Melaleuca Alternifolia with:
Human race =
A chum near.

Melaleuca Alternifolia with:
Plagiarism =
Gasp, I'm liar.

Meyran Kraus with:
Initial Cause of Death =
"Ha!", I note, "Fatal suicide!"

Meyran Kraus with:
Examining the liquor cabinet =
Beer, tequila... Ah! Mix Gin 'n' Tonic.

Meyran Kraus with:
A Curse Word =
So raw, crude.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Decaffeinated coffee =
In effect, a dead coffee.

Tom Myers with:
Chief Executive Officer =
Effective fix? Rue choice!

Tom Myers with:
Regular or a decaf? =
Careful - road rage!

Tom Myers with:
Liberal media =
Admirable lie.

Tom Myers with:
See that supernova? =
The sun evaporates!

Tom Myers with:
Eating fewer calories =
Wife alienates grocer.

Mick Tully with:
General Protection Fault =
To corrupt an elegant file?

Mick Tully with:
The blue screen of death =
Her false teeth bounced.


1st - Tom Myers with:
Contains full frontal female nudity =
Nice tan, so artfully flaunted on film.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hieronymous Bosch's "Creation of the World", "Paradise", "Garden of Earthly Delights" and "Hell". =
Oh, this is a lewd, colorful triptych of a mad Hollander: "Genesis", "Eden", "Abhorrent Orgy", "Hades".

3rd - Jaybur with:
Actor Michael Douglas =
Glamorous ideal catch.

Larry Brash with:
I shot the Sheriff, but I did not shoot the Deputy =
Thud! Thud! This boy is in deep shit! O, he totter off!

Richard Grantham with:
Mister Mackey =
Recites "mmkay".

Tom Myers with:
Ten years of the Simpsons =
Nasty Homer pisses often.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The battle for Elian's custody =
Oh stay, little fostered Cuban!

2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Deutsche Bank swallowed Morgan Grenfell =
Farewell England. Deutschmark owns globe.

3rd - Jaybur with:
Russian president Yeltsin resigns =
Tipsy inertness as underling rises.

Wayne Baisley with:
Happy New Year =
Hype-weary? Nap.

David Bourke with:
The Labour Cabinet Enforcer, Miss Marjorie "Mo" Mowlem =
Joint woe: "Um, Mr. Blair, I CAN remember some, after school!"

Richard Brodie with:
The battle for Elian's custody =
Nice lady lost, but, ah, tot's free!

Richard Grantham with:
The alleged war criminal Konrad Kalejs =
"Arranged no Jew-kill deal"? Smack the liar!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Ricardo Lagos wins election =
Regional socialist crowned.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Guardian Angel rescues Cuban kid! =
Angelic Bureau sucks! Dad in anger.

Jaybur with:
Flu hits Britain =
Hail unfit Brits!

Jaybur with:
The supermodel Miss Claudia Schiffer to marry Tim Jefferies =
Just seems chemistry: I admired coiffure; fell for a stamp heir!

ID Letterman with:
British adore Mike Tyson =
Host: "O, kind sir, bite my ear."

ID Letterman with:
State of the Union Address =
Fathead rides onto sunset.

Tom Myers with:
Dow average at record high!! =
Good! Gave the rich a reward.

Tom Myers with:
The battle for Elian's custody =
O dear! Let's test, cut boy in half!

Tom Myers with:
Russian Embassy =
Assassin: bury me!

Tom Myers with:
The Super Bowl Game =
Huge problem: sweat!

Graham Perkins with:
David Beckham gets sent off (retaliating again) =
Dad? He left a game in Vicki's G-string to beat a fan.

Mick Tully with:
State of the Union Address =
United States herd on sofa.


1st - Tom Myers with:
The traveling salesman =
Vaginas: enters them all!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Winner of a Beauty Contest =
A fine butt to screw, anyone?

3rd - Earle Jones with:
Disenchanted =
Denied snatch.

David Bourke with:
David Crosby/Stephen Stills/Graham Nash/Neil Young =
"Hey man! Boring old cunts sing shit verses all day! Pah!"

Kevin Hale with:
Cunnilingus =
Nun sluicing.

Earle Jones with:
Seminal emission =
Me, I sin alone, Miss.

Tom Myers with:
Improper touching =
Hope I'm corrupting.

Tom Myers with:
Tennis player Pete Sampras =
Penetrate slippery man-ass.

Tom Myers with:
He is a patron of the arts =
Porno theater, has a fist!

Tom Myers with:
American culture =
Circulate manure.

Tom Myers with:
Female impersonator =
Poofters remain lame.

Tom Myers with:
This woman awakening the following Sunday =
Engulf genital? Okay! Now dawn. Who is this man?

Tom Myers with:
Genitalia =
Giant? A lie!

Mick Tully with:
Sexual ambiguity =
Tim, a bisexual guy.

Mick Tully with:
Clinton as a lame duck =
Lack a cunt, I'm sad, lone.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
You Can Easily Stop "Incurable" Herpes Outbreaks Now =
Ah, Can You Eat A Boner, Silly Web-Poster? Suck Our Penis!

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
ADULTS ONLY Like your PORN borderline illegal?? Wanna see a Donkey Show?? Luv Animals?? That's US, Cum take a LOOK =
Hello, anal runt. I shall not seek your usual useless wank-porn, OK - I've got a LLAMA tied down in my backyard! Olé!

3rd - Larry Brash with:

Mick Tully with:
Tiresome human event.


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Try IT NOW, IT's Free and it Really does WORK
The makers of Thin & Slim Naturally are so confident that it will work for you that they will give you a FREE 30 day supply just for visiting their website: Thin & Slim Naturally suppresses appetite, boosts energy levels, and burns off unwanted white fat cells. Thin & Slim Naturally is the best product available for safe, simple and effective natural weight loss. But don't take our word for it, try it yourself for a full month... FREE!!
Do you feel yourself to be very fat? Doesn't matter whether you are - I don't care whether you're vast, bulimic or weigh ten kilograms, I simply want to rip you off fast with this nutty (but trendy) new water-free diet:
First of all I'll kill, fry up & serve (on buns) any birds, beasts, rats, insects & pet turtles I find around.
Then for dessert I'll jerk off in a tall glass (until full), pass it over & call it a Low-Fat, High-Protein Shake. (Smells fine!)
After that, you pay up ($30) and vomit lots. We all win!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Herpes Simplex II, otherwise known as genital herpes, is caused by a virus that normally remains dormant in the body until it "wakes up", replicates in mass and causes an outbreak, usually during times of stress or lowered immune system vitality.
The Herpes viruses are easily transmitted but according to current generally accepted medical science these viruses still can't be killed.
Web Epidemic, AKA Spammerisis Syndrome: A brain tumor usually found in perverted computer nerds, who truly think they can harass us and take our money. Visible signs: Wit loss, sinister eyes, sexual stimulation while staring at Pamela Lee's tits.
This spam-sending illness can't be cured till every E-Mail harasser, eccentric pervert and bullshit geek (i.e. you) is castrated, electrocuted etc.

3rd - Mick Tully with:
My name is Darren Mulligan and I am an aspiring photographer from California. I will get right to the meat and gravy of this post, so as not to waste your time!
Filming the tots, disgusting, hairy, immoral faggot? Why post children porn to alt.anagrams area? For mammon, you twisted Irish pervert?
I alienate a pa? A no-no!


Richard Grantham with:
Online Gambling, You could WIN big today Vegas Style!!
Start Instantly - No Downloads - Same Day Payouts - 10% Credit Bonus
Awesome Graphics & Sounds
Click Here To Play Now!
We have 21 great casino games:
Jungle Heat
Indian Riches
Triple Wild Love...
We know you'll just love this site. If you aren't into gambling just take a look around. Would be a shame to miss out on all the fast-paced action and fun :)
Click Here To Play Now!
Thanks and Enjoy!


Do you want to welcome 2000 by losing a lot of cash?
We have the technology to make you 100% bankrupt instantly!

Join now and blow 22,100 dollars on:
Red-hot Poker
Jack Shit
Sluts (just lie back and attempt not to catch anything nasty)
Chechen Roulette (just like Russian, but using a fucking great Kalashnikov)
Craps in Pants (I peed as well)
Jungle Disease (malaria usually)
Syphilitic Itches (bad clap)
Triple-Pronged Love (three into one DOES go)

You can log on & waste vast sums TODAY! ß·(


Richard Grantham with:
The Ultimate Sensation! Your Natural Viagra Alternative!
Get your "Men's Ultra" Now, No Doctor's Prescription needed! 100% Natural.
Feel the Energy, Passion, Desire and the Power rushing back into your Life -
Special Sale Price $39.95 - 60 Caplets
Need an erection? Prick never torrid? Want help? You sad prat.
As a tangible cure I can suggest violent amputation! For $69.00 (har har) I can sort of rip your useless genitals into 1,935 separate slender little pieces! You'll end 0% the man you were!


Richard Grantham with:
Do you want win money just by surfing on Internet and receive publicity ?
At the end of the month you'll have a check at your home with the money (proportionaly to the time you were conected) You don't need buy anything. You'll pay nothing. Register al address:
http://www.gotoworldes.com/es/register/register.asp?rid=1044295514 and download the program "GoToWorld"
Do you need God's word?
You too can gladly earn salvation NOW with the new program by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
1. Collect up your eighteen ugly, dotty wives.
2-4. Go and ride your puny bike round neighborhood three times.
5-9. Read Mormon 4:5 three times and then Moroni 10:4 twice.
Then merely pray to God a lot.



1st - Linda Garrett with:
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.
Larry had a smutty goat,
It was really sweet,
Then when he swerved this lawnmower
It became a slab of meat.

2nd - David Bourke with:
Bohemian Rhapsody

3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Tomorrow Glaxo Wellcome and Smithkline Beecham are to join up and form a single large company. =
Legal work - two major firms merge and so annex the global monopoly on pharmaceutical medicine.


Dan Fortier with:
Hoary miscellaneous ones I have are just pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth =
Ah, ungodly men love selves, crave, do others, run on hate, pig out, sustain jealousy, rest incessantly.


Jon Gearhart with:
Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said, "What a good boy am I!"
Ana Gram-MacThumper
Wanted Al to jump her
Leap in a cunt-hole in her thighs
It lubed his dick
O-ho so slick
But sat as it did not any rise!


Richard Grantham with:
computer, n. An apparatus for performing mathematical computations electronically according to a series of stored instructions called a program.
computer, n. A 'magic' (= irritating) pale contraption prone to large dramatic crashes. Clearly also used to mail crud spam off to poor cunts, for instance ME!


Jaybur with:
Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas to marry =
Casting her marital role: joyous; amazed; enchanted!


Janet Muggeridge with:
Scientists are saying the South Pole is going to melt within three hundred years. =
Hot penguins to lose their icy home. A raging disaster - they detest slush in winter!


Tom Myers with:
Pedophilia is completely pervasive in the Catholic Church =
Socially evil, a pathetic vice! The Pope humps choir children?



1st - Larry Brash with:
Thomas Alva Edison =
Aha! Ions made volts!

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Reverend Ian Paisley =
He is a "Never Ireland!" type.

3rd - Jean Fontaine with:
Neil Armstrong =
Starring on LEM.

Wayne Baisley with:
David Letterman =
Dead mitral vent.

Art Day with:
Tunstall-Pedoe =
Pulled snot, ate.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Burt Reynolds =
Sure, try blond!

Don P. Fortier with:
Karl Heinrich Marx =
Ax Rich! Rah, Kremlin!

Jaybur with:
Dame Elizabeth Taylor =
Hey! marital-bed zealot!

Jaybur with:
Singer Charlotte Church =
Screeching choral truth.

Janet Muggeridge with:
The alleged war criminal Konrad Kalejs =
Hitler man killed Jews - lo, a dark carnage.

Tom Myers with:
Dan Marino =
Darn, no aim!

Tom Myers with:
Tennis player Pete Sampras =
Persistently appears mean.

Mick Tully with:
Steve Ballmer =
Tremble slave!

Mick Tully with:
Lord Jeffrey Archer of Weston-Super-Mare =
The Mayor race off? Send perjurer flowers!


1st - Tom Myers with:
Hustler Magazine =
Amazing slut here!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
New York, USA =
You wankers!

3rd - Linda Garrett with:
Tasty McDonald's Cheeseburger =
Retch at cold messy greased bun!

Richard Grantham with:
Herpes simplex =
Her 'sex-pimples'.

Jaybur with:
America Online and Time Warner =
A modern era: I claim a net winner.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Food Standards Agency =
Sad and stodgy farce, no?

Tom Myers with:
Golden Globe Awards =
Old news, old garbage.

Graham Perkins with:
The Napoleonic Wars =
Oi, Nelson, wear patch!

Graham Perkins with:
The Battle of Stalingrad =
Hitler begot fatal stand.

Mick Tully with:
The Battle of Trafalgar =
Batter a lethal, fat frog.

Mick Tully with:
McDonald's burgers =
Ronald: "BSE, MSG, crud!"


1st - Richard Brodie with:
The battle for Elian's custody =
Best thou flee Castro, tiny lad.
Lad's tiny boat left to US. Cheer!
Nice lady lost, but, ah, tot's free!
Ha! Little boy ran, defects to US.
Abduct to Hell? No! It's "Stay free!"
Fidel Castro, the nut, steal boy?

2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
The smallest room in the house =
Theme: shithole, stools, manure.
O stem, slash here. Hum on toilet.
Arsehole's on the toilet. Hum, Ms!
Short hum on toilet, else shame.
Enema rule: ho, shit them stools!
Let's hear smut in the home's loo.
Reams the slut in the home's loo.
Rush the meal mess into the loo.
Rates the home: loo's in the slum?
Arsehole moment - oh let us shit!
Urinates, smelt the homo's hole.
Hello! sat, met home host's urine.
So the hot urine smell's at home.
Miss tho' seen the loo. Male hurt.
Miss the loo tho' seen the mural.
Hot mess result in the loo. Ahem!
Mess in the loo? Rule: that's home!

3rd - Daniel F. Etter with:
Death row inmates =
Mothers await end.
Date with a sermon.
Dirt to ash. A new me!
What a monster! Die!!!
Waste had no merit.

Larry Brash with:
A scientologist =
Egoistical snot.
Less cogitation.
Lie to agnostics.
Egotistical, son.

Richard Brodie with: [An anagrammatic summary of the Third Reich]
Writes rash [Mein Kampf]
He stirs war [speeches]
Wrath rises [from mesmerized populace]
Wears shirt [with swastika armband]
Shares writ [inflation]
Wish arrest [imprisons opposition]
Straw heirs [neo-Nazis]

Daniel F. Etter with:
Satan worship =
Stow a harp! Sin!
Sin. Pathos. War.
Sin has trap. Ow!
Parson's wit? Ha!
Spiro wasn't? Ha!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Have a nice day =
Any vice ahead?
Have a cyanide.
Each day a vein.
Yeah Dan, a vice!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Long dicks get in the way =
Sweetly dating... choking.
Lewd, shocking, yet giant!
Wanting thick "log" - seedy!

Mick Tully with:
Wanna meet someone tonight? =
Man negotiates the new moon.
Hot teenage moment, no, swain?
TENTH swain one-to-one, Gemma?
Wanting one-to-one mesh, mate?
Intent: goose the mean woman!
Mentions hot teenage woman.
One mates the giant women, no?
One-on-one, smegma in the twat.
One hot meeting awes not man.
On to the semen-eating woman!
Mate wants hot minge one-one.
Want goose - mention methane.
Two meeting, methane's a no-no.


1st - Mike Keith with:
Anagrams - Antigrams

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
[A group of George Michael themed anagrams.]

"No Y-fronts? Let's shag rectum!"
= Songs From The Last Century

A hairy gay Greek go-go musician. (Police sore too!)
= Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou (George Michael)

Up in Rio, to goose a gay
= Georgios Panayiotou

Gay ring glee: 'Wham!' idol career ended
= George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley

I'm Harrow sex-menace... giggle, eh?
= Ex-'Wham!' singer George Michael

G.M. led cop in, let penetrate asshole!
= The Los Angeles Police Department

Who, me? I'll stalk, rim, roger, rape!
Or: "I'll arrest limp 'Wham!' greeko!"
= The Will Rogers Memorial Park

A cop lubricant
= Club Tropicana

A Public W.C. marathon
= 'Club Tropicana' - Wham!

Wowee! A gay Greek homo bum-pouf
= 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' - Wham!

I help screw arses
= Careless Whisper

God! I want that fairy!
= Waiting For That Day

Gay News thrives, then?
= Everything She Wants

Get fairy in romp
Merry? Not if a pig!
Er, fit in gay romp
= Praying For Time

Fag fruit here
= Father Figure

SOS! Lewd gay can nob!
= Cowboys And Angels

Anal-sediment legend
= Ladies And Gentlemen

eq.2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Love is too young to know what conscience is


Richard Brodie with:
I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease - Gladstone
Depends: if I believe your great lies, or I go get thy lass, with a thin condom! - Disraeli

Oh, can't predict your demise? Ha! no way, sir! I spoil surprise! It'll be murder, or herpes. - Gladstone
That all depends, good sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress. - Disraeli


Jon Gearhart with:
Should the wide world roll away


Meyran Kraus with:
Hunger Strike


Meyran Kraus with:
K's Choice: Everything for Free


Tom Myers with:
Another Brick in the Wall Part II


The Anagrammy Awards