Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000


1st - Tom Myers with:
Years of neglect meant ~
a legacy of resentment.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Self-gratification =
It is carnal, I get off.

eq.2nd - Wayne Baisley with:
Handle with care =
What chandelier?

David Bourke with:
Genetically-modified foods =
Dodgy, if diet is clone of meal.

Richard Brodie with:
August nominations =
Unanimous toasting.

Andrew Denny with:
Middle age spread =
A dreaded glimpse.

Andrew Denny with:
What's my purpose in life? =
Sinful or sweet, I'm happy!

Dan Fortier with:
Asteroid hits Earth =
The hot-air disaster.

Linda Garrett with:
Stress you, bleed to death.

Richard Grantham with:
Supremacist =
Racism setup.

Richard Grantham with:
Kalamata olives =
Make saliva a lot.

Richard Grantham with:
Manic-depression =
Manner's episodic.

Richard Grantham with:
The cardiac arrest =
Drastic heart race.

Richard Grantham with:
If sterile, then ~
he isn't fertile.

Jaybur with:
Up for it =
UFO trip.

Jaybur with:
Platform sole =
Promotes fall.

Jaybur with:
Great minds think alike =
Hide mental risk-taking.

Jaybur with:
Mutton dressed as lamb =
Mama's old 'n' buttressed!

Tom Myers with:
Abject poverty =
Crave petty job.

Tom Myers with:
Rate of recidivism =
Crime, it is favored.

Tom Myers with:
Asian mail order bride =
Alien broad is married.

Tom Myers with:
The conventional wisdom =
Hot women contain devils.

Martin Rand with:
Lowest common denominator =
Comatose moron in meltdown.

Mick Tully with:
Killing two birds with one stone =
In wild, ornithologist knew best.

Mick Tully with:
Beware of the dog! =
Who bred gate foe?

Mick Tully with:
Contraception =
Canon: I protect.


1st - Art Day with:
The Penthouse centerfold =
Unclothed "pets" often here.

2nd - Mike Keith with:
The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas =
Told a French story about madmen, executions.

3rd - Jaybur with:
Auguste Rodin's The Kiss =
Huge nudes: it is so stark.

Chris Bradfield with:
Police, Camera Action =
Police to race maniac.

Richard Grantham with:
Tim Ferguson =
Foreign smut.

Richard Grantham with:
Frequency Modulation =
Unequaled conformity.

Jaybur with:
A celebrity =
I cry Beatle!

Jaybur with:
A Farewell to Arms =
Realms of war tale.

Jaybur with:
'Stillborn': A poem by Sylvia Plath =
Labor by poet's vain; halts, limply.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Yes, you know, the name "Seles" is a palindrome =
She plays loud tennis - noise awoke me. My ear!

Mick Tully with:
Kelly Brook at the premiere of 'Snatch' =
Hark! Flock to eye her ample tits? Boner!


1st - Richard Brodie with:
Russia turns down British and American submarine rescue offers =
Reds ruin it for crew: barbarous, inhuman minds refuse assistance.

2nd - Jaybur with:
Sir Alec Guinness dies at eighty-six =
I sigh: sadly, it's exit a screen genius.

3rd - Dan Fortier with:
Democratic National Convention =
I am convinced - no talent or action!

David Bourke with:
The Leader Of The Opposition, William 'Fourteen Pints A Day' Hague =
I am a stupid lager-lout Tory slaphead, eh?
(ie: "I pee-off to the inn now!)

Chris Bradfield with:
Regulation of investigatory powers bill =
Irate? Spy on illegal furtive browsing too!

Larry Brash with:
The Russian nuclear submarine, Kursk =
Sunk in mercurial Barents Sea. UK rush.

Richard Brodie with:
Supersonic plane's airworthiness certification is going to be revoked =
Was not choice of Dunlop tires certain to pose even bigger risks in air? Si!

Don P. Fortier with:
"Then who is Joseph Lieberman??" =
"Oh, he's able, prominent, Jewish."

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Gore and Lieberman =
Ennobled marriage.

Jaybur with:
The Blairs on holiday =
Hey! into hills, abroad.

Jaybur with:
Madonna gives birth to a son =
Oh, mention a song diva's brat.

Meyran Kraus with:
Repeated Attempts To Reach Stranded Nuclear Submarine =
Russian Men Trapped, Can't Breathe; Rescue Met Total Dread.

ID Letterman with:
The George and Dick Show =
Two highs: coke and greed.

Tom Myers with:
Charlton Heston has Undergone Rehabilitation =
The no-brain NRA hero's diet - it's alcohol then a gun.

Tom Myers with:
Gerald Ford suffers small strokes while in Philadelphia for the GOP's convention =
Dull former President, known for his falls, is in the hospital. Help save, God of grace!

Tom Myers with:
Year Two Thousand's Presidential Election =
Two crude nasty personalities to headline.

Tom Myers with:
Being a member of the unbiased world press I cannot be taking sides in this political debate with you. =
I hate Republicans, and I especially detest this dense-wit, baboon, idiot-brain, fink George W. Bush. --Tom M.

Tom Myers with:
Firestone recall of its A.T.V. truck tires =
Never trust creators of, face-it, it kills!

Tom Myers with:
Evander Holyfield wins fight, takes the WBA crown =
Fat, wrinkled sod winner of heavyweight belt, cash!

Tom Myers with:
Supersonic plane's airworthiness certification is going to be revoked =
I voice raw opinion - Concorde uses big Firestone tires that spring leaks.

Tom Myers with:
Grand jury is formed to investigate the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal =
Candidly, a fascist jerk timed events only to hurt Al Gore's winning.

Tom Myers with:
Gore now leads =
Real good news!

Mick Tully with:
Insider dealing =
Did nine rig sale?

Mick Tully with:
Alta Vista free Internet Service =
Line treats? Fate: server inactive!

Mick Tully with:
Anthea Turner's wedding list =
What, uninterested, darlings?

William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
Veteran Broadcaster Sir Robin Day =
Dead. Coronary erases Brit-TV brain.


eq.1st - Richard Grantham with:
Large breasts =
Great, braless.

eq.1st - Tom Myers with:
This is a new device which will double your penis size -- it's guaranteed! =
Scientist: with a hard willie so big, seduce ladies whenever you unzip!

3rd - Graham Perkins with:
Short and curlies =
Older cunt's hairs.

Wayne Baisley with:
Mm... Rula Lenska's Yoni-Cabob.

David Bourke with:
In your birthday suit =
Nudity (our hairy bits).

Richard Brodie with:
Grand jury is formed to investigate the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal =
Is not Gore's line: reject smoking cunt as tawdry and filthy and evil?

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Priapus was the Roman god of procreation =
Purports a paradigm of an erection. How so!

Meyran Kraus with:
Exercise can "strain your heart or injure you" =
"Sex, Eunice? Either just 'urinary' or a coronary!"

Tom Myers with:
The GOP Bush/Cheney ticket is now official =
Hail to these fucking inept cowboy chiefs!

Mick Tully with:
Bollocks? Banana's yummier...

Martin Rand with:
O, balls earn busy Mick a NOM!


1st - Larry Brash with:
Regret? O, I'm lying. I really meant to send it. I'm a low-life, depraved, crazy spammer who scams, too. Priority? I try to get your cash.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Eat shitty offal, loser.

Larry Brash with:
'Make money fast' =
Nasty fake memo.

Andy Dixon with:
"learn to promote your on line bizz" =
Embezzler ran lotto. Your opinion?

Andy Dixon with:
In the mood for shopping? Great auction site! =
"Rich? Pop in for some astute negotiating.....d'oh !"

Dan Fortier with:
Llamando todos los españoles altavoces =
"Save and eat all cold loose stools. No SPAM!"

Jon Gearhart with:

Jaybur with:
Megan Alexander wrote: Make $$$ AS EASY AS ...1,2,3 =
A.A. say$, 'Wot?' $eek$ 123 lax enemas... are danger, Ms!!

Tom Myers with:
IF NOT interested at (sic) Adult Toys, DO NOT OPEN !! =
Attention: do not post your files - it's decadent.

Brad Williams with:
Dreamcast Games For $7.50! Backups and Boot Discs! =
Mod Pirate's Sega CDs 7 for 50 Bucks! Not a Bad Scam!


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Guys, does the size of your penis concern you?

Maybe you would be happier with an extra inch or two?

Would your partner be happier if you were bigger and thicker?

Are there always too many reasons not to make love any more?

Penis enlargement need not be an expensive or painful operation.

To learn more about our natural system, and read what other happy (and now more well endowed) clients have to say.

Follow this link now!!!

(this is not a vacuum system!)

Richard Brooks


Women, do you worry about your clitoris?

Perhaps a larger one would please you more?

Now you can have the clitoris that you always dreamed about! Penis envy's a thing of the past after our revolutionary new program, which extends a clit by 1, 2, even a dozen or more inches!

No more excuses from inept men that are unable to find yours properly. No more wet hands when wanking. Visit today - be packing a watermelon in your pants in mere weeks! (Some talc on the knees and hips helps here.)


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Management Software
I'd like to introduce to you the company rules and regulation system that a company need and has been proved very useful in China as follows (this company rules and regulation system is one of the items that presented above I can provide the company management consulting to you).
These items covers all the factors in a company management that you can make a broad choice from them and I'd like meet you in your office to fulfill these items in detail for you.
The management software is based on the whole factors in the process of management.The parts of it interact each other, make up a integrity , a system .It is not only based on strengthful theory, but also based on abundant applicability. It is proved to be practicable and efficient.According to the management software ,you can exactly advance the management standard, and it help you realize your company strategy and your company goal.
Temporary managing client(temporary general manager£(c)¡¢company management software ( rules and regulation system)¡¢company management consulting service and other services are my company business items.Especilly the company management software (e.g. company rules and regulation system), which I would like to introduce to you, is the primary consulting service.The company management software has been proved to be applicable and efficient according to being used in China.It can work in short time, and our company's first tenet is serving you£¬the charge is reasonable and acceptable. We promise in the honor of our company. We ensure the quality of the service. Welcome to contact me in any time whenever you need me. This is my honor to serve you here in Beijing China.
Looking forward to receiving your message.


Mr. Boring Bill, bugging spammer,
My reasonably good temper and my tragic heart condition convinced me to spare you from a more eagerly tense reply to a cocky, crappy, inane, vacantly tacky BS e-mail you sent me. Instead, please accept some funny anecdotes your (remaining) clients mentioned about yo groggy, very crummy, big-tummy, piggy, blubbery, provocative pervert, ugly anomaly of a mama:

client One: "Yo mama is so fat, she had dinner at McDonald's once, and contributed nine more digits to the 'Burgers Served' counter."
client Two: "Yo mama is so fat, I wanted to dip my cock in her the other night, so I rolled her in flour to see where her cunt is."
client Three: "Yo mama is so fat, NASA declared her as a second moon."
client Four: "Yo mama is so fat, you were born with a dent in your head, cause your horny papa didn't know she was pregnant."
client Five: "Yo mama is so fat, your papa jumped on her once... they had to scrape him off the ceiling."
client Six: "Yo mama is so fat, she considers a wheel-o-cheese as a health food."
client Seven: "Yo mama is so fat, she gave your puppy a hug once, and it was never found again."
client Eight: "Yo mama is so fat, you pay another mortgage for her butt."
client Nine: "Yo mama is so fat, nineteen randy campers could use her panties as a tent."
client Ten: "Yo mama is so fat, an elephant gave *her* peanuts once."
client Eleven: "Yo mama is so fat, I've been in her cunt one time and realized I can't scream..."
client Twelve: "Yo mama is so fat, she won a 'Springer Beauty Queen' title."
client Thirteen: "Yo mama is so fat, she can pick up a cent using her tits."
client Fourteen: "Yo mama is so fat, she once went to the top of the leaning tower of Pisa, and the constructors cancelled their cement plan."

More are at:

Get bent, you dumb mugger.
Mey K.


3rd - David Bourke with:
Finally, an all-natural way to lengthen and strengthen your cock.

Penis Pros has created the ultimate penis enlargement program. Rare herbs cultivated high in the Andes of Peru provides sexual power that has been untapped until we brought them to the masses worldwide. We guarantee these pills will make you the stud you deserve to be.




Men! Do women laugh at your stupid, naff, pale little two-inch (at best) tadger? Ha ha ha! Tough cheese, then, you sad tosser! But you'll never have sex without a proper pork-sword, so best get used to it, you pathetic stump-ended prick! And get a life, eh! See, all the Alt.Anagrams men have real hard, thrusting purple helmets! Ner ner ner ner ner!



Larry Brash with:
There's a great new auction site that everyone should see. They sell everything! You can get great deals because they rarely have a starting bid.
There will be both a live and an email auction Friday Aug. 11 from 12:00 pm to 4:00 pm pacific time. Check it out at
All 111,200,400 of us in alt.anagrams hate spam. Cute? We think it is irritating, abusive and really evil. Spammers are the lowest life form on Earth. They're annoying, big-mouthed, vague, ugly, coercive, etc., etc.
Cue everybody! Obey! Attack! Death! Cut the bitch to death!........ Peace!


Tom Myers with:
We have all software!!!

Visual Studio 6
Auto CAD 2000
Architectural Desktop 2
Mechanical Desktop 4
3D Studio 3.1
Adobe PhotoShop 5.5
Corel Draw 9
File Maker 5
Delphi 5
Borland C++ Bulder 5
Pro/Engeneer 2000
Norton SystemWorks 2000
Windows 2000
Windows Milenium

...and many many more!!!

Price $ 60 - $ 120!!!

We have everything - just name it!


We have individual / wholesale:

heavy whore w/ clap
pin worms
herpes sore
bat testicle
huge easy homo
lark's vomit
circumcision penile remnant (limp)
wet jockstrap odor candle (whew!)
dog doo-doo
rotten aardvark
cum stained blue dress
my fat daughter-in-law
tiny limp dead aborted unknown fetus

$0.69 - $1,222,222,334,555,550,000,000,000,006.01


Martin Rand with:

I found this site that really has it all!!! I have learned how to stop paying for my groceries - legally! I now receive Free Kodak Film whenever I want and I have made good old U.S. Cash with a couple of sites that this site links to! This site is really cool!




Here's this group that is the dingo's danglies!!! You post it a load of trivial hogwash, and forty devilish clever weirdos turn it into something lewd that will kill you! Why, this chic coterie takes the cookie!

So if I feel low, I pen a swift, cheesy spam.

Lolita "Angelface" Lovealot.
(I'm a cheap piece...)


Brad Williams with: is the Premier Written Works Exchange for Writers, Publishers, Script Buyers and Agents. Revolutionizing the writing world.
www.www.worstgerm.cwm is the best recreational drug trip sight for Needles, Heroin, Crackpipes, Burners, or Peruvian White. Try sterilizing toxins.



1st - Richard Grantham with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?


2nd - Larry Brash with:
The quality of mercy is not strained,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath.
The quote from The Bard's "The Merchant of Venice".
Portia's entreating:
"Hey! Listen up, I appeal; end thy loan".


3rd - Richard Brodie with: [Deuteronomy 15:1,2]
At the end of every seven years thou shalt make a release. And this is the manner of the release: Every creditor that lendeth ought unto his neighbour shall release it; he shall not exact it of his neighbour, or of his brother; because it is called the LORD'S release.
Here are the reasons underlying the financial cleansing called elimination of debt. Here too are the remedies for all the vexing vultures, the harassers that seek to thrive by usury. Oh! the ratholes! So, to the foolish deadbeat's health! Here his troubles cease.


David Bourke with: [The alternative Sgt. Pepper]
1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
2. With A Little Help From My Friends
3. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
4. Getting Better
5. Fixing A Hole
6. She's Leaving Home
7. Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite
8. Within You Without You
9. When I'm Sixty-Four
10. Lovely Rita
11. Good Morning Good Morning
12. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (reprise)
13. A Day In The Life
1. Yoko? Oh No! I'd Vomit!
2. Apple Fiddle-Folly
3. Often High - The Maharishi Mystery Trip
4. Brian Epstein The Little Poof
5. MBE? We'd Refuse It!
6. The Dog With Wings
7. Druggy McCartney Bust Mix-Up
8. Lennon Gets Shot In N.Y.C. (Next Life - God)
9. "I Love Thomas The Tank-Engine" (by Ringo Starr)
10. 'Mull'? Piffle!
11. Wilbury Woe
12. 'Sir' Paul
13. George Harrison Stabbed In Henley


David Bourke with:
Queen - Greatest Hits I/II

Bohemian Rhapsody
Another One Bites The Dust
Killer Queen
Fat Bottomed Girls
Bicycle Race
You're My Best Friend
Don't Stop Me Now
Save Me
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Somebody To Love
Now I'm Here
Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy
Play The Game
Seven Seas Of Rhye
We Will Rock You
We Are The Champions
A Kind Of Magic
Under Pressure
Radio Ga Ga
I Want It All
I Want To Break Free
It's A Hard Life
Who Wants To Live Forever
The Miracle
I'm Going Slightly Mad
The Invisible Man
Hammer To Fall
Friends Will Be Friends
The Show Must Go On
One Vision


Queen - Greatest Hits I/II

Real He-Man Rhapsodomy
Another One Tight Old Chuff
Under, Precious!
Now I'm Queer
Some Bender To Love
Feel Bottoms, Girls!
I Want To Break Wind (live)
Male-Bike Rave
You're My Best Boyfriend
What's This Little Thing Called, Love?
Don't Glop Me Now
I'm Going Slightly Hard, I See
It's A Hard-On!
Chase Me
I Want You All
On The Game
Doing Head
The Mirror Ball
We Will Suck You (Five)
We Are The Camp Irons
In Yer End? Oh!
All Y-Fronts To Fall
The Condom Must Go On
I Feel Seven Inches Of Bri
A Kind Of Mad Dick
Who Wants To Bleed Vile Perverts' Arses Forever?
I See The Insatiable Man
Radio Ga-Gayboyz


Richard Brodie with:
I should have known better than to eat seafood so far from the coast... =
Haste not inland to devour soft, sweet meat of shark; Oh! ache, barf too.


John Fidler with: [Albums released by The Smiths]
The Smiths
Hatful of Hollow
Meat Is Murder
The Queen Is Dead
The World Won't Listen
Strangeways Here We Come
Glum Fellow With Them
Two-Hole Fedora
The Mutton Crime
Windsor's End
Earless Earth
What Queerness Ahead?


Husband and Wife with:
Ayn Rand - Novelist and Philosopher

The Fountainhead
Atlas Shrugged
For The New Intellectual
The Virtue of Selfishness
The God of the Machine
It Is Earlier Than You Think
What Is Capitalism?
The National Interest, C'est Moi
We, the Living
Bootleg Romanticism
The Nature of Government


Ayn Rand "Nashville's one-third poop!"

The Path to Failure
The Conglomerate Shit List
Reinventing the Boomerang
Seven Fun Wealth Hints for Cunts
Annihilate the Idiot
You Can Cut Men's Hair!
Egghead's Einstein
I Fuck 'em!
It's Wartime for Hot Wet Hemmoroids
It Shall Have to Eat Flesh
Genital Talent


Husband and Wife with: [Books by American author John Irving]
The World According to Garp
The Cider House Rules
A Son of the Circus
Trying to Save Piggy Snead
A Prayer for Owen Meany
The Hotel New Hampshire
Setting Free the Bears
The Water-Method Man
The 158 Pound Marriage
Horrid Mother Shags a Pilot
An Orphan Gets a Woody
We're Puny Carnival Midgets
Fatso Fury
The U.S. Wheelchair Correspondent
The Concierge Guy
Sweet-tempered Grandmother
The Ménage-à-Trois Beat
Fahrenheit 851


Meyran Kraus with:
The script by author Raymond Chandler of an insurance salesman plotting with a vile wife to murder the husband. =
Billy Wilder's narrative 'Double Indemnity' features top-notch acting, a harsh atmosphere and no warmth... Such fun!


ID Letterman with:
Master sleuth tracks down poison mail all the way down Chile, S.A. =
William Tunstall-Pedoe unmasks the Coris. Hard core as hotly wanted now.


Tom Myers with:
Scientist: there is water on Jupiter Moon Europa =
Sure it's there! Now join me in a trip to outerspace!



1st - Richard Grantham with:
Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy =
O, it's a lovely thick novel!

2nd - Jaybur with:
Dame Daphne Du Maurier =
Ah, I dreamed up a rum end.

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Craig Steven Fothergill =
Love act - fingers the girl.

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Rubens Barrichello =
Races Hill on rubber.

David Bourke with:
Ian Hunter, Mick Ralphs, Terry 'Verden' Allen, Peter Overend Watts and Dale 'Buffin' Griffin =
The first (and best) Mott LP line-up - real fine, wild, free, hard, dark, even raving funny, ace R'n'R.

David Bourke with:
Sonia Gandhi? =
Indians go "Ah!"

David Bourke with:
'Countdown' co-presenter Carol Vorderman =
"Vowel, or consonant card?" procured me rent.

David Bourke with:
Michael Stock, Matthew Aitken and Peter Waterman =
Team met, made a packet. (Rich wankers with no talent!)

David Bourke with:
Stanley Laurel and Oliver Hardy =
Hell, a very silly duo, and near-art!

Dan Fortier with:
Michael Swango =
No laws cage him.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Actor Charlton Heston =
Cornstarch to ethanol.

Jaybur with:
Monsieur David Ginola =
Mon dieu! a lad is roving!

Jaybur with:
Dylan Douglas =
An old guy's lad.

Jaybur with:
Baby Rocco Ritchie =
Ah, crib: bet I cry, coo!

Jaybur with:
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson =
Cue fine new film drama starring Potter lad.

Tom Myers with:
Former President Gerald Ford =
Fit Mr. for large "Depends" order.


1st - Tom Myers with:
Firestone radial tires =
Inferior -- disaster tale!

2nd - David Bourke with:
Stella Artois - Reassuringly expensive =
A very strong ale, I see. All six pints? Sure!

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Villefranche-sur-Saone =
French sure love a snail!

David Bourke with:
The International Olympic Committee =
Theoretically, I'm incompetent, am I not?

Andrew Denny with:
What is Labour? =
Habitual rows!

Jaybur with:
The new Citroen Xsara Picasso =
Ha! So now I expect car artiness.

Meyran Kraus with:
Kansas' Neighbor =
Nebraska - so nigh!

Tom Myers with:
The Military's secret base, Area Fifty-one, in West Nevada =
I see many artifacts, beware of the testy alien invaders.

Graham Perkins with: [Tesco slogan]
Every Little Helps =
They sell pet-liver.

Mick Tully with:
Tesco Online Shopping =
Isn't English Co-op open?

Mick Tully with:
Winston tastes good like a cigarette should =
The end glows, idiot. Attacks lungs easier, too.


1st - Richard Grantham with:
And with a blend of these four indivisible elements -
EARTH, both divine and life-fill'd, to imbue newnesses;
AIR's blow, undefined, not visible, that enmeshed life;
WATER, seem'd libation behind the fund of liveliness;
Blessed FIRE of the divine, now bated, still inhumane -
He made this oft-unbelievable world's infinite ends.

2nd - Mick Tully with: [The US Army slogan]
"Be all that you can be." =
Obey, launch a battle.
A bullet to any beach.
Lethal bayonet, Cuba.
Tally-ho! Cuba beaten.

3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
I do like eating corn-on-the-cob - it's mouthwatering. =
Cook it. Ah, so adore chewing on it in melting butter.
Boo, I go clean teeth, to rid grain stuck on/within 'em.

David Bourke with:
Ernesto Rafael Guiraldes =
Nastier dago fella? Er, sure!
A less rude Alt.A. foreigner.

David Bourke with:
President Slobodan Milosevic =
Serb despot icon is evil old man.
Do I plot Serb violence 'n' sadism?
No Serb policies solved, damn it!

Richard Brodie with:
Why does life have purpose and existence meaning? =
Metaphysics - ah genius, now expand on "feel", "die", "ever".
Politics - hey, we examine "need", "safe", and push "govern".
Ethics - we see "good", "evil", "serene", "unhappy", and fix man.

Dan Fortier with:
Orenthal Simpson =
She spit on - normal.
Months plain sore.
Oh mental prisons.
Honor - plans smite.
Oh, plan is monster.
No, not rip slash me!
Stomp on her - slain!
Nor splash it on me.
This person on lam.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Vanity publishing =
Vain by pushing lit.
Pay, inviting blush.
Push vain, lying bit.
Hint: buy, signal VIP.

Tom Myers with:
The FBI's Carnivore =
Observer if in chat,
if vice's abhorrent!

Tom Myers with:
Even the devil can quote scripture for his own purposes =
Win lovers. Prophets serve up a technique for seduction.
Tip: We use harps - proven technique for lover's seduction.

Tom Myers with:
The Russian submarine crew is presumed perished =
Sub ruined, ass-head prime minister screws up here!
Sure bashed-in! Prime minister has sure screwed up.

Mick Tully with:
Singapore Airlines =
Is aeroplane rising?
Oil passenger in air.
One large piss in air.
Ignore Asian perils.
Pioneer slags in air.
Ogle, sir? (Pain in arse.)
One gin, ripe air-lass?


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Genesis 1:1 - 2:3


2nd - Richard Grantham with:


3rd - Mike Keith with:
Sonnet by Nicolas de Caen


David Bourke with:
Golden Brown - The Stranglers


Jon Gearhart with:
"Hey and away we go
through the grass, cross the snow
big brown beasty, big brown face
I'd rather be with you than fly through space..."
"we get big hits of this bong
rose up, baby, where we drift along
scorch a roach on a sunny day
brought her what stash grew, by the way..."


Meyran Kraus with:
Mey K.: English Ode of a Vampire and Subtle Seductions


Tom Myers with:

Is this deja vu all over again?
It ain't over 'till it's over.
If I didn't wake up, I would still be sleeping.
You better cut the pizza in 4 pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat 6.
Baseball is 90% mental and the other half physical.
The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
You can't think and hit at the same time.
Nice Guys Finish Last.
Tom Seaver: Hey, Yogi, what time is it? Yogi Berra: You mean now?
Nobody eats there anymore, it's too crowded.
It gets late early out here.
If you don't have a goal, any road will get you there.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.
You can observe a lot by just watching.
You give 100% in the first half of the game and if that isn't enough, in the second half you give what's left.
Never let the truth interfere with a good story.
I really didn't say everything I said.
If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.
If you don't go to other people's funerals, then they won't go to yours.


When in Rome - locate the orgy.
If in S.F., CA - be sure your tiny tittied beauty girlie doesn't have an Adam's apple.
When in Greece - are you really going to bend over to pick up a coin?
If a lady in DC, do not intern for Bill Clinton.
When you are angry - count up to ten - methods to slay the total idiot.
If in Afghanistan - DON'T!!!
When in the course of human events - I tested out at a D-.
If push comes to shove - get the other guy by a balcony.
When the going gets tough - it is time - go to a urologist.
If I were you - I'd do me.
When you wish upon a star - they bust you as a stalker.
If you treat others as you'd like to be treated - they arrest you - as a flasher.
When hell freezes over - boy oh boy - I'll have a very lot of very pretty, big titty, delectable girls!
If you give a man a fish - he'll claim HE caught it!
When I get boozed-up I tell a queer joke.
If you think that too vulgar....
When are you eighteen Julie?
If it feels right - do it again.
When a boy meets a girl - do arty coital TV.
If I want some love - it's handy.
When is it ever too much titty?

Tom Myers


The Anagrammy Awards