Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000


1st - Dan Fortier with:
Centenarian =
Near ancient.

eq.2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Lived a life of danger =
Loved feeling afraid.

eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
While the cat's away, the mice will play =
With what aim? Well, a cheese, typically!

Larry Brash with:
Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald =
Just heavy Rock & Roll. Ah, be swayed.

Crash Davis with:
Smoke menthol cigarettes =
Me: "Great, them Kents is cool."

Crash Davis with:
What is American beer? =
"Barren," I chime. "A waste."

Richard Grantham with:
The concentration camps =
Accept harm to innocents.

Richard Grantham with:
A stocking =
Giant sock.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
A copy of the British Constitution? =
But no: hypothetic. It consist of air!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
A sexually transmitted disease =
Yet, maladies are taxed lust sins.

Husband and Wife with:
Long-stemmed roses =
Seems golden to Mrs.

Jaybur with:
Family gathering =
An almighty grief!

Jaybur with:
Floral tribute =
Left burial; rot.

Jaybur with:
Reserved seat =
Deserve a rest.

Jaybur with:
A carol singer =
Angelic roars.

Meyran Kraus with:
Decisions =

Meyran Kraus with:
Machinegun =
Uh, menacing?

ID Letterman with:
Ethnic cleansing =
Clannish, genetic.

ID Letterman with:
Settlers =
Let's rest.

Tom Myers with:
Belligerents =
Beers telling.

Tom Myers with:
Please disrobe =
Desirable pose.

Tom Myers with:
An artificial Christmas tree =
Mr. has farce - it ain't realistic.

Tom Myers with:
Home of Terrans =
Ones from Earth.

Tom Myers with:
Partial eclipse of the sun =
O Hell, it's upset! Fear! Panic!

Rick Rothstein with:
Golden years =
See? Old 'n' gray!

Rick Rothstein with:
High Voltage Lines =
I've halogen lights.

Rick Rothstein with:
National Pastime =
Potential manias.

santa's elves with:
Stratosphere =
Spot star here.

Mick Tully with:
Surfing the Internet =
Fringe interest hunt.

Mick Tully with:
Deregulation =
Alert! No guide.


1st - Jaybur with:
One hundred and two Dalmatians =
Unhand dear, dotted animals - NOW!

eq.2nd - Richard Brodie with:
The impromptu, prelude, sonata, polonaise, nocturne, ballad, fantasie, mazurka, AND the concerto =
Born talented, Chopin "makes out" romantic tunes for piano. The art amazed us, all applaud "Encore!"

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Biggest and Most Creative Painters of All Times =
Manet: Gentle 'Barmaid''s a top sight - it's so reflective!

David Bourke with:
Are You Being Served? =
Ignore, evade buyers.

Larry Brash with:
Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne =
See dandy whirling our Earth. Lusty end, by Jove!

Larry Brash with:
"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte =
Hey, begin writing the humble story.

Crash Davis with:
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire =
Wait -- I am on intolerable show!

Crash Davis with:
Baha Men: Who Let The Dogs Out? =
The hound theme blows a goat!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The Coen Brothers =
Bother the censor.

Rick Rothstein with:
The sport of hunting =
Nothing tops the fur.

Rick Rothstein with:
The sport of hunting =
Opting for the hunts.


1st - Rick Rothstein with:
I demand a recount =
A dream continued.

2nd - David Bourke with:
Al Gore concedes =
Race closed. Gone.

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Florida's state government =
Voter manifesto strangled.

Richard Brodie with:
Voters decide nothing; people who count votes decide everything. - Josef Stalin =
Gore, of dejected psyche, vows: "Don't even honor this election." It ends, Al, give it up!

Crash Davis with:
Santa's reindeer =
Seen in radar set.

Art Day with:
Schleswig-Holstein =
Sight cow illness, eh?

Dan Fortier with:
Stick "Al Gore, Concede" talk in the trash, you fat old weirdo =
Dick Cheney, get their OK's to allow Florida data's recount!

Dan Fortier with:
Office Christmas Party =
Par: try acts of mischief.

Don P. Fortier with:
Last minute gift shopping =
Late pushing, stomping fit.

Don P. Fortier with:
United States Supreme Court =
Teams up, deters recount suit.

Carl Ginnow with:
You win by each elite vote =
Yet, how can you believe it.

Husband and Wife with:
True slogans? =
Al Gore's nuts!

Meyran Kraus with:
George Bush Wins US Elections =
Bugger! Chosen louse isn't wise.

Meyran Kraus with:
British Airways Airplane Meets Near-Disaster =
Stewardess is a real arse-pain? I try the mini-bar!

Keith Lehman with:
We Three Kings =
Sweet Gherkin.

Tom Myers with:
Presidential appointments =
Append potential ministers.

Tom Myers with:
Court orders counting the Florida under-vote ballots =
Counts not verified: ultra-cold Gore or total-nerd Bush?

Tom Myers with:
The clear intent of the voter =
Rant over the election theft.

Tom Myers with:
No Gun Ri massacre =
Gross! Un-American!

Rick Rothstein with:
Butterfly Ballot =
Blur left by total.

Rick Rothstein with:
A constitutional crisis? =
It's a social instruction.

Rick Rothstein with:
US Supreme Court =
Usurp comes true.

Rick Rothstein with:
First Lady Laura Bush =
A brutish fraud's ally.

Mick Tully with:
William Hague, Leader of the Conservative Party =
Vaunt a race MP? We've a Tory Adolf Hitler. Sieg heil!


1st - Tom Myers with:
Foreign exchange student =
French! I get tongue and sex!

2nd - Mick Tully with:
Office Christmas Party =
City staff harms copier.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Amebic Dysentery =
Scene may be dirty...

David Bourke with:
An enormous erection =
One more in a sore cunt?

David Bourke with:
What goes around, comes around... =
Ooh, we do rude anagrams. (So: "CUNT!")

Crash Davis with:
"Read my lips. No more Bush!" =
"Mom, in her old bare pussy."

Husband and Wife with:
Turned night-time =
Mind in the gutter.

Husband and Wife with:
State of the art service =
Shit-Taste-Ever-After Co.

Meyran Kraus with:
Erotic Movie =
I come over it.

Meyran Kraus with:
Close-up on the orgasm of the man =
A cum-shot, semen: The goal of porn.

Tom Myers with:
Sorority pledge =
Yields to groper.

Tom Myers with:
Call of the Siren =
She'll fornicate.

Tom Myers with:
Melissa Joan Hart is "Sabrina the Teenage Witch." =
Her habit? Anal screwing: ease/jam it into the ass.

Tom Myers with:
Show me your breasts =
Sweet bosoms! Hurray!

Tom Myers with:
I fart in your general direction =
Run if I generate dirty colon air.

Tom Myers with:
A toast for the bride and groom =
Bond of marriage, so do the tart!

Rick Rothstein with:
I charm kiddies =
I hid sick dream.


1st - Larry Brash with:
Does Financial Freedom Interest You? =
O, it's a scam, you indolent reefer-fiend.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
See a Woman make love to a Rhino! =
Ooh, I've seen two men ram a koala...

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The more E-mails you send out, the more cash you will receive! =
Sure, cheesy shite... Come over, I'll mutilate your wee manhood!

Wayne Baisley with:
Lose 2-14 Inches in ONE hour! Guaranteed! =
412 gun holes in a head? Neurosecretion!

Richard Brodie with:
How much money would you like to make? =
"You low, uncool dummy."
"Who, me?"
"Take hike!"

Tom Myers with:
free email at =
Feel immature? See

Mick Tully with:
High Quality Porn Site With Animals 9346 =
IQ, -34? Healthy '69' with pliant Missouri nag!


1st - David Bourke with:
Romance - is the place for fresh ideas that put the variety back into your relationship - announced new Christmas & Kwanzaa Romance Coupons. Check them out at:


No chance to score? is THE site for a noncy chap without a fuck. Cripes! Horror! Ain't that a shame? (Plus not very nice). Come on up, wanker, and unzip the old chap!

Cock up & masturbate!


2nd - Crash Davis with:
Not an anagram - genuine request !

Interested in 30/40 words on my site + hyperlink - in return for same

or contact


Clean quiet 30ish anal thong-nut seeking a Cajun policeman or lawyer to insert 40 +/- hamsters into my rectum.

No weirdos!



3rd - Larry Brash with:
Save £££'s on home and car insurance.
Online instant quotes. Instant cover, Monthly payments available suject to status.

Visit and start saving money today


Wanna blast? Want £2000 total ?
Hi, I'm just a rotten nasty spammer who'll con you.
I use quite sneaky vows, very potent credit card (Visa) con tricks, vast guano investment, and nonsense goat cons.


Crash Davis with:
Take a look at and see the rates for hosting your site. Its almost for free. And you must check out its speed.
take a look

= has a lot of original material. Surf through!
Bunny sex, aardvark sex, juicy rats, the finest wombat bukkake!
You PETA folks take note: We don't eat meat, we screw it!



1st - David Bourke with:
Now, I don't want you to think I expect acknowledgements for all of my posts, but I've posted what I consider to be some strong anagrams during this month and have received very few comments. Take this last week for example. My newsreader shows I posted 28 anagrams (some of which I *really* like) since, and including, December 16th (and not including this one, of course) and yet there have only been 3 responses. Since I've experienced connection troubles with my ISP during the earlier part of this month (mostly email problems with several emails lost to the ether) and since I've been using a new, for-pay newsgroup server this last month, I'm wondering if all that I send is actually getting to the newsgroup. If so, well then, I guess I'm just over-estimating the "brilliance" of my work and so be it. But I'd hate to think I'm doing all this typing and that not everyone is seeing them.

So, could a maybe 3 or 4 of you (no need for the whole group to respond), assuming that you can even see this message, please do an experiment for me? If you have Outlook Express as your newsreader, or if you know how to do this in whatever newsreader you have, please select Edit/Find from the menu bar and type in Rick Rothstein into the "From" box (alt.anagrams should already be in the "Look in" box), click the check mark box in the "Received after" box and select 12/1/00 for the date on the calendar that pops up. Finally, press the "Find Now" button. In the status bar at the bottom of the window, does it say "113 message(s) . . ."? If so, then all my messages are getting through and I'll have to work harder to perfect my anagrams. If not, then I need to contact ?someone? to report the problem. Either way, I'd like to know.

Thank you and a Happy Holiday to all,



Hey, now I don't want you to think I'd expect all my net purchases to land on the mat, but this month I have ordered online (indeed, paid for on my American Express card): 6 gerbils, 3 hamsters, 1 tube of KY Jelly, 3 gross of cardboard toilet-tubes, the Lifetime Membership of the Richard Gere Appreciation Society, a vacuum cleaner, a shoehorn, a donkey, a llama, 12 leather whips, some stirrups, 14 pairs of crotchless pants, 10 pairs of Latex examination gloves, 28m of electric flex, a tub of chocolate body paint, new sheets, some Swarfega industrial hand cleaner, 10-denier fishnet stockings, a sexy negligee, Y-Fronts (furry-lined inside), a kilt, new felt merkin, the complete set of Baywatch videos, some Viagra, 3 boxes of shiny wet-look lipstick, new teeth, eye shadow, some nail varnish, meths, a nipple-piercing kit, The Toe-Sucking Handbook, a 'King Dong' heavy-duty twin-ended monster vibrator, a pound of sliced liver, the Tina Turner 'Nutbush' wig (with dayglo-tinted extensions), some new white stilettoes, 'Men! Men! Men! - The Complete Nude Photographic Works Of Robert Mapplethorpe', the new Village People's Greatest Hit Songs boxed-set Anthology, then the new-out hot 'Divine Naked!' video, a bottle of amyl-nitrate, the 'Diana' colonic irrigation kit, a set of seven hypodermic needles, the new 'Dominant S-and-M Bondage For Gents (Beginners)' book, a toothbrush, some 'Minty Menthol' mouthwash, some semen-stain remover, (ditto, shite), and then a copy of the Anagram Genius Windows software. Now thus far, it seems, only the Anagram Genius has actually arrived. I would therefore advise that you only order goods on the Internet from known, trustworthy, reputable sources.

Thank you, you sweet little honeys! Love,


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Charlie's Angels (2000)

Directed by Joseph McGinty Nichol

The Tagline: Get some action

The Cast
Cameron Diaz .... Natalie Cook
Drew Barrymore .... Dylan Sanders
Lucy Liu .... Alex Munday
Bill Murray .... Bosley
Sam Rockwell .... Eric Knox
Tim Curry .... Roger Corwin
Kelly Lynch .... Vivian Wood
Crispin Glover .... The Thin Man
John Forsythe .... Charlie (voice)
Matt LeBlanc .... Jason Gibbons
LL Cool J .... Mr. Jones
Tom Green (III) .... Chad
Luke Wilson .... Pete
Sean Whalen .... Pasqual
Tim Dunaway .... The Flight Attendant
Alex Trebek .... Himself
Raleigh Wilson .... The Reform Officer
Mark Ryan (I) .... The Fencing Opponent
Bobby Ore .... The Driving Instructor
Guy Oseary .... The D.J.
Joe Duer .... The UPS Delivery Guy
Matthew Frauman .... a Red Star Systems Techie
Reginald C. Hayes .... a Red Star Systems Techie (as Reggie Hayes)
Melissa McCarthy .... Doris
Robert J. Stephenson .... The Red Star Systems Director (as Bob Stephenson)
Ned Bellamy .... The Red Star Systems Director
Raymond Patterson .... The Director's Buddy
Bjorn Flor .... The Red Star Systems Security Guard
Gaven E. Lucas .... a Boy
Michael Barryte .... a Boy
Andrew Wilson (III) .... Corwin's Driver
Brandon Williams (I) .... The Assistant Director (as Branden Williams)
Michiko Nishiwaki .... a Stuntwoman
Frank Marocco .... an Accordionist
Darrell Pfingsten .... a Partygoer
Jim Calloway .... a Bouncer (as Jimmy Calloway)
Kevin Grevioux .... a Bouncer
Michael Papajohn .... a Bathroom Thug
Jim Palmer .... a Shooter
Shawn Woods .... a Shooter
Kenny Endoso .... a Getaway Driver
Tom Garner .... a Getaway Driver
Isaac C. Singleton Jr..... a Kidnapper
Paul Eliopoulos .... a Knox Thug
Tim Gilbert .... a Knox Thug
Al Goto .... a Knox Thug
Steven Ito .... a Knox Thug
Felipe Savahge .... a Knox Thug
Mike Smith (I) .... a Knox Thug
Jerry Trimble .... a Knox Thug
Jennifer Cole (I) .... Corwin's Assistant
Sylvie Hoffer .... Karen McDougal (cameo)

The Writing credits (WGA)
Ivan Goff (The TV series) and
Ben Roberts (III) (The TV series)
Ryan Rowe (written by) and
Ed Solomon (I) (written by) and
John August (written by)

Produced by Drew Barrymore
Joseph M. Caracciolo (executive)
Amanda Goldberg (associate)
Leonard Goldberg
Nancy Juvonen
Aaron Spelling (executive)
Betty Thomas (I) (executive)
Jenno Topping (executive)


Now, I DO know the year 2000 barely gave us any brilliant cinematic creations, and Oscar nominations are very rare, but good god - who gave THIS crummy movie an OK? Who went to watch this 'booby trap' (no pun intended), and why?

Twenty one explanations are given to why Charlie's Angels is a major box-office hit:

1) A subliminal message was clearly inserted in the groovy theme song by Destiny's Child, as the young, sexy band members repeatedly sang the movie's name in the video while dancing around in mini-skirts... OK, maybe it wasn't really *subliminal*.

2) Adult movie-goers are clearly ten-year-old fools in disguise.

3) Thousands bet this crappy movie is more retarded than the series; they had to watch it to settle the score.

4) Tim Curry and Bill Murray's rare, hilarious dialogs... just kidding.

5) Bold, uproarious jabs at King Lear... just kidding again.

6) Cameron Diaz's perky, gorgeous jugs.

7) Lucy Liu's long, sexy legs.

8) Drew Barrymore's... ah... Drew Barrymore's... It can't be her jokes, can it?!

9) Scenes where the girls wear, say or explore something promiscuous... all six-hundred of them.

10) Nothing spells jolly good fun like watching major babes box, jog, crawl in muck, cock a gun, flex, wriggle, climb a rope, talk trash, take bombs apart, perform exact Kung Fu moves, wag a butt, make love, nap, bowl, fix a radiator, groom, bathe, crap, order a cab and fry eggs - IN BLACK LATEX!!!

11) American TV's winter offerings.

12) I recall this is exactly the same America that chose G.W. Bush Jr. as president over Gore.

13) Poetic justice and God are no more.

14) The premiere was on a very rainy (or very foggy) day.

15) It holds the 'Number of Cars Totalled in One Scene' record.

16) Cameron clearly invited all of her ex-lays to watch it; that can explain at least ninety percents of the net income.

17) American cinema never really recovered from the rock-hard IQ standard set by 'Titanic'.

18) Director J. 'McG' Nichol kept getting his 'Action!' and 'Run in slow motion!' calls mixed up.

19) Women secretly enjoy chauvinistic junk.

20) Both Robert Downey Jr. and Jar Jar Binks have no acting roles in it.

21) Horny bums just aren't very picky when they have to jump-start their Jerry...


3rd - Richard Grantham with:
On the Twelfth day of Christmas


David Bourke with:
If you have any antique fishing tackle or outdoors related items to sell, post them at


You can also locate the site by searching YaHoo! for "tackle auction". Or just drop by and place your site on the Top 25 or the Links page!


If you've any wedding tackle that you no longer enjoy use of, chopped foreskin parts, thin tatty pants, little crotch bits, or any toilet ephemera to throw out, could you post all the details at:


(He requires hot bott 52 weeks a year.) Ta!


Richard Brodie with:
Congressman Dies in Freak Fall.
Miami, FL (Humor News International)- Representative Jerry Nadler, D - Dunkin Donuts, died this afternoon after a freak fall from his apartment balcony. Police officials were tight-lipped about details of the death of the portly congressman, pending notification of next-of-kin and stockholders in Dunkin Donuts. According to unnamed sources close to the investigation, Nadler appears to have slipped on an empty "Twinky" wrapper after having waddled out of his combination bathtub/Olympic swimming pool. Nadler was naked at the time of the fall. In possibly unrelated news, the Geophysical research Center at City University reported a earth tremor measuring a 5.5 on the Richter scale, centered on the apartment complex where Congressman Nadler was found dead. Memorial services for the congressman are unresolved as of presstime, and will remain so until a forklift can be dispatched to the scene.
Fatso Jerrold Nadler's recent fall (not from the pinnacles of power, but from a building's upper observation deck) sent shock waves through the halls of the nation's capital, and I don't mean that in a figurative sense! Seismic currents radiated off in all directions from an epi-center in downtown Miami, perhaps approaching those created by the impact of a meteor that fell on the world, offshore of the Yucatan peninsula sixty million years ago, and made all dinosaurs extinct. People of a Democratic persuasion everywhere were panicked big time. Terrible, sickening landwaves crested at fifteen feet. They streaked across the state of Florida, which made erroneously cast ballots fly amok all around palm country, dumping their precious dimpled contents and creating one horrid darned maelstrom of small torn chad remnants, dampening and yes even sinking mankind's hope of knowing the "voter's true intent" presidential winner.


Richard Brodie with:
"If nominated I will not run; if elected I will not serve." William Tecumseh Sherman =
Where the will's minimum, a fellow in uniform, invitation detester, declines call.


Crash Davis with:
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Mutation of a gene whimsically named "I'm not dead yet" can double the life span of fruit flies, a laboratory discovery that researchers said may lead to drugs to help people live longer and, perhaps, even lose weight.

Researchers at the University of Connecticut Health Center have found that the life span of fruit flies was extended from an average of 37 days to 70 days when a gene was modified on a single chromosome. Some flies in the study lived 110 days.

The long-life gene was named for a comical line -- "I'm not dead yet" -- from a Monty Python movie, Helfand said. The gene's name was suggested by co-author Robert A. Reenan and has been shortened to "Indy."

"In academic circles," explained Helfand, "sophomoric humor, such as in Monty Python, is very common."


Modern science has begun to fiddle with deoxyribonucleic acid. While the slipshod DNA experiment has not, as far as we are aware, been tested on humans, this may lead to a whole race of Methuselahs. Happily, added effects may also include a reduction of body mass.

At an eastern American lab, gene modification was successfully performed on flying insects, and most of the gnats lived almost 100 percent longer. Others had 71 to 73 days more until the time of death.

Oddly enough, an English TV comedy troupe's movie provided the acronym for the gene material involved. Apparently, many scientists are enamored with the Flying Circus.

"Oh, man, " one of the happy gene-rearrangers intoned. "'The Meaning Of Life' was oh so very funny. I'm a fan. I love to see goofy videos. Ha ha!"


Crash Davis with:
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - The state of Utah takes a lot of ribbing for being ultraconservative, unhip and behind the times. But on Saturday, some residents will be one step ahead of everyone else -- they're celebrating New Year's Eve a day early.

In Provo and St. George, two heavily Mormon towns, party organizers moved the celebrations ahead because many church members are expected to spend Sunday quietly observing the Sabbath.

"We're not going to have a countdown," said Marc Mortensen, organizer of Saturday's early-bird celebration in St. George. "We're not going to pretend like it's New Year's Eve. It's just a New Year's party."

Mortensen expects about 25,000 people at the celebration. He said staging the event on Sunday would have probably cut attendance in half and made it unprofitable.

"It's more of a business decision, not a religious one," Mortensen said. "It makes more sense."

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has told members they can take part in "dancing and other activities" on Saturday but must be home before midnight. The church is encouraging members to spend Sunday quietly at home with their families and other church members, and to take part in activities "appropriate for the Sabbath day".

Church headquarters will be open Sunday night, and the entertainment will include religious movies.

Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson, a non-Mormon, said he was bewildered by the alternative plans.

"I just think it's sort of odd that anyone would celebrate New Year's Eve on any other night than New Year's Eve. But to each his own," Anderson said.


BEHIND THE ZION CURTAIN (UPI) - The Mormon Society For Preventing Adults From Having Any Fun has again taken it upon themselves to screw up a perfectly good holiday by insisting that people stay home and play board games rather than ring in the new year by drinking and carousing.

World-renowned for right-wing traits, and the scary practice of requiring members to wear quaint, church-sanctioned underwear, the church wields absolute control over its adherents. Very little free thought is tolerated, and complete blind-eyed devotion is encouraged.

Most Utahns rely on the advice of the theocracy, as they have few independent thoughts. "When we try to think, our brains just quit," one savvy man said. "It's easier to be a dumbass. Baa. Baa."

As usual, in a typical mean-spirited move, the elder spokesmen of the state's predominant religion have issued an edict that any seamy party-goers will not only be excommunicated, but their heads are to be impaled via pikes outside the temple walls as an example to all God-fearing members.

"Sure, we'd like to see ye non-members crack open the Book Of Mormon rather than a tasty, icy beer," said church spokesman Z. Barney LeVeer Young. "Baby, even the heathen Gentiles need enlightenment. All but the Negroes, that is. Yea, the seed of Cain was, and is, irredeemable."

Just as soon as it can be arranged, Utah intends to erect 2 to 5000 barb-wire fences about its borders in order to bar entry to anyone with brain activity. It's assumed it would be best to just close its borders as no one has a reason to enter anyway, even as a vacation.


Jon Gearhart with:
My fellow Armenians...


Juliet Howland with:
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief.
II: What hues! To see the killings of teens. Alas, Juliet vies nay for her man, Paris. A union, acid, dirk, sin, death, dust. - Wil


Tom Myers with:
Bob Hope, Perry Como, Arthur Miller, Ted Williams, Lady Bird Johnson, Walter Cronkite, Fay Wray, Red Buttons, Mickey Rooney.
Mr. Tom Myers's arbitrary pick of who will probably die in the Year Two Thousand One. Icy rude moron! Really bent cold jerk!



1st - Jaybur with:
Miss Venus Williams =
I'll win massive sums!

eq.2nd - Art Day with:
President George Walker Bush =
The goal? Perks! Beer, wine, drugs...

eq.2nd - santa's elves with:
Houdini =
Hi! I undo!

David Bourke with:
Madonna Louise Ritchie =
A resolution: "I'm chained!"

Richard Grantham with:
Hans Christian Andersen =
Rather Danish canniness.

Jaybur with:
Robert Wilhelm Bunsen =
Burners will be hot, men!

Meyran Kraus with:
Laura Bush's the First Lady =
Dress falls? Uh, a hairy butt!

Larry Mudd with:
Blaise Pascal =
Is space a ball?

Tom Myers with:
Ted Olson =
Don't lose.

Rick Rothstein with:
Mary Louise Streep =
Supreme royalties.

Mick Tully with:
Sir Richard Attenborough =
Honour graced British art.


1st - Crash Davis with:
Brigham Young University =
Being virgins may hurt you.

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
The Florida State Legislature =
Shall it defeat Al Gore? It's true!

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Dictionary of American Slang =
I score - man fornicating a lady.

Larry Brash with:
Saint Matthew's Anglican Church, Guildford =
God is ruling and watchful. Christ chat, amen.

Crash Davis with:
Saint Matthew's Anglican Church, Guildford =
Trustful American clods with hanging chad.

Jaybur with:
The Albert Memorial =
O, I remember all that!

Meyran Kraus with:
Happy Meals in McDonalds =
Minced Slop: Mash and play.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Presidential Oval Office =
Oral penis-love fitted a chief.

santa's elves with:
Saint Matthew's Anglican Church, Guildford =
Snug, warm, at night... said of candlelit church!

Mick Tully with:
The National Rifle Association =
Facile Heston rationalisation.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Biggest and Most Creative Painters of All Times =
Da Vinci: Artist left protégés the best gem, 'Mona Lisa'.
Van Gogh: Became mad; titles 'Self Portrait' - it is tense.
Michelangelo: Artist's 'Pieta' met finest, bravest god.
Matisse: Five Trotting Girls became the top 'La Danse'.
Monet: Aged master's soft 'Lilies' brighten, captivate.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
The carol singers =
Choir angels rest.
Girls reach notes.
Her song, it's clear.
Single orchestra.
Clots rehearsing.

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Golden years =
So legendary.
See? Old 'n' gray!
A rosy legend.
Elder's agony.

Wayne Baisley with:
Lose 2-14 Inches in ONE hour! Guaranteed! =
412 gun holes in a head? Neurosecretion!
No-iron chino, 421 leagues under the sea.
One nation under Hercules' 241 hoagies.
421 heinous nose-leech, tearing around.
124 treacherous hugs: Dial nine-one-one!

David Bourke with:
Secretarial duties =
Articulate desires?
Real cute ass... ride it?
It is erect, alas! (Rude.)
Custard? I release it!
Tired, ritual ceases.

Crash Davis with:
Supreme Court in Florida =
Recount a slim prior feud.
If I slump, order a recount.
Dimple farce, ruinous rot.
Our dimple return fiasco.
Insure our dimple factor.

Jon Gearhart with:
One hundred fortune cookies =
Forced out nine under hose, OK?
Done: Stuck four here in end -- OO!!
Do see four end in her cunt? O, OK!
O, cue ten under foreskin hood?
O, fourteen dock in under hose.
Three end on duo; four in cokes.
O, he found one in erect US dork!
OO -- found rest here in one duck!
One horse dick found enroute...

Tom Myers with:
My penis is erect =
Prime necessity.
Recipient messy.
Piss in cemetery.
It is my presence.

Rick Rothstein with:
A sexually transmitted disease =
Maladies tax tiny adulteresses.
Study details steamier anal-sex.
Duly estimate anal-sex disaster.
Nastiest adultery sex maladies.

Rick Rothstein with:
The Presidential Oval Office =
It's envied for cheap fellatio.
On fellatio -- it pervades chief.
Tiff seen over political "head".
Fate hates dope in evil frolic.

Rick Rothstein with:
Police Stations =
It's alien to cops.
O! It entails cops.
To cop, it's an isle.
O! Cops steal in it.
As in cop's toilet.


1st - David Bourke with:
'Twas the night before Christmas


eq.2nd - Richard Brodie with:
A section-by-section anagram of Psalm 119.


eq.2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Two carols made into anagrams of each other, followed by four-part choral arrangements of each that are also anagrams.


Brian Young with:
Another version of Richard Grantham's modified carol text (above)


Wayne Baisley with:
This is America. Count every vote. =
Conceive mouthy Satire Veritas.
Archconservative: Moiety? Use it!
Court's activism -- I hate everyone.
Creative veracity most heinous.
Cries out, "Can't I have some verity!?"
Every time, it's such a revocation.
I have eaten my court's victories.
I have tactics every minute or so.
I may have counterset victories.
I may have to contrive cute rises.
I must have no esoteric veracity.
It may not have corrective issue.
Menace to virtue; ravish society.
Mucho retroactivity, as I've seen.
Our secret? Have some inactivity.
Outvoice anarchists every time.
Overactivity? Here comes Austin!
Reactivity: I have some recounts.
Rustic, I seem to have no veracity.
Scarcity? I seem to have no virtue.
Semiconservative, I hate outcry.
Yes, I have corrective mutations.


Richard Grantham with:
A 1944 poem by e.e.cummings, imitating a New Yorker at a bar explaining why WWII is being fought.


Mike Keith with:
The full title of the novel Moll Flanders


Mike Keith with:
A word-unit anagram of the first and last words from each of the 154 Shakespeare sonnets.


Meyran Kraus with:
Eminem's "Stan"


The Anagrammy Awards