Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2001


1st - Richard Grantham with:
A love-hate relationship =
The volatile pair has one.

2nd - Lardy Girl with:
Inmates on death row =
Morons await the end.

3rd - Jaybur with:
In silhouette =
Is the outline.

David Bourke with:
Inside the hack =
Sick in the head.

Maurice Goddard with:
Happy endings =
Dying happens.

Richard Grantham with:
The old wives' tale =
Lies that we loved.

Richard Grantham with:
The wee small hours =
All homes were shut.

Adrian Hickford with:
Sexual chemistry =
Classy mixture, eh?

Adrian Hickford with:
Chicken risotto =
Rice in hot stock.

Adrian Hickford with:
Flight of Icarus =
Rightful fiasco.

Adrian Hickford with:
Prevention is better than cure =
Apt instruction: 'Never be there.'

Jaybur with:
Buoyant consumer spending =
And economy's upturn begins.

Jaybur with:
Crowned teeth =
Tender to chew.

Jaybur with:
Domestic tensions =
Is some discontent.

Jaybur with:
Dental appointment =
Attend; open; implant.

Jaybur with:
Great painter =
Peering at art.

Meyran Kraus with:
Skin grew old? =
God, wrinkles!

Tom Myers with:
A dirty old man =
Tidy and moral.

Tom Myers with:
Please slow down =
Law on low speeds.

Tom Myers with:
I'm unbalanced =
Manic and blue.

Tom Myers with:
I want to win, ~
'n' I won't wait!

Tom Myers with:
A police state ~
is total peace.

Tom Myers with:
Illegal transaction =
One attains call-girl.

Tom Myers with:
I am pretty =
Party time!

Tom Myers with:
All in due course =
A cruel delusion.

Matjaz Pihler with:
In my head =
Hey, a mind.

Matjaz Pihler with:
Rags at birth =
A bright star!

Matjaz Pihler with:
Lost a liver? =
It's all over.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The instructions for making a good anagram =
Famous Rick Rothstein got a grand NOM again.


1st - Jaybur with:
Manet's 'Olympia' =
Simple anatomy!

eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Far Side cartoonist Gary Larson ~
is a creator of grisly and honest art.

eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Murder on the Orient Express" by Agatha Christie =
Hush! Poirot exercises the brain and 'grey matter'.

David Bourke with:
Victoria Beckham's autobiography "Learning To Fly" =
A hot book by a very thin glamour-fanatic Spice Girl.

Richard Grantham with:
How to Win Friends and Influence People =
Don't waffle, opine while incensed, or pun.

Adrian Hickford with:
Geri's Yoga =
Gay orgies.

Adrian Hickford with:
Rick Stein's Seafood Odyssey =
Yes, did fast cookery session.

Meyran Kraus with:
'Treasure Island' by Robert Louis Stevenson =
So, robbers set sail in one sultry adventure!


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Search for Osama Bin Laden Proves Difficult =
A darn problem - US forces fail to find his cave!

2nd - Jaybur with:
Post early for Christmas =
I race for stamps, shortly!

3rd - David Bourke with:
The World Toilet Summit in Singapore =
Millions go there to dump in its water!

Jaybur with:
Battle rages =
Let's get Arab!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Taliban Forces =
Rebels act on faith.

Allan Morley with:
The Taliban forces =
Arch-foes in battle.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
United States Accuses Nations of Bio Weapons =
It's because fanatics own poison tested on U.S.A.!


1st - SpursKevin with:
Crotchless undies =
Discloses her cunt.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Take off all your clothing =
A lot of really hot fucking.

eq.3rd - Maurice Goddard with:
Don't forget to pull the chain =
Drench that foul toilet pong!

eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Shitload =
I had lots.

David Bourke with:
The instructions for putting on a condom: =
Fit it on dong. Cum into her cunt/ass, pronto!

David Bourke with:
The instructions for using a bidet: =
Sit. Douche ring of butt. Rinse stain.

Adrian Hickford with:
Utterly frigid? =
Fertility drug!

Adrian Hickford with:
Ejaculates prematurely =
Early at cum-jet pleasure.

Tom Myers with:
Orgasms include ~
loud screamings.

Tom Myers with:
Droit du seigneur =
Rude groin duties.

Tom Myers with:
Promises lunch: ~
cums on her lips!

Tom Myers with:
Female hormonal system =
Some males' monthly fear.

SpursKevin with:
The parson's nose =
Hen's arse? Spot on!


1st - Larry Brash with:
Obtain a prosperous future, money earning power, and the admiration of all.

Select your field of study from business, computers, engineering, education, the sciences, liberal arts, fine arts, social sciences, history, literature, languages, or any other discipline.

No required tests, classes, books, or interviews.

All levels of diplomas awarded - including bachelors, masters, PhD's, and MBA's.

Save Thousands on Tuition Fees!!!

Open enrollment means that you are already accepted into this unique program.

CALL NOW to receive your diploma within days!!!


Call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including Sundays and holidays.



Let's get this plan quite clear in my mind.

What you're supposedly saying is:
You'd give me completely fake qualifications, the holders of which fraudulently use to seamlessly obtain valued, well-paid positions, suspiciously false awards and it'd earn considerable income?

I'll order one for a brain surgeon.

There's a Mayo Clinic consultant neurosurgeon position vacant and I'd like to obtain it, even in the absence of a basic medical degree or the knowledge of functional and structural central nervous system anatomy, the diseases and syndromes, pills, doses, radical Swiss head operations, surgical procedures, instruments, or paraphernalia.

"Dr" Larry.


2nd - David Bourke with:
Dear reader,

We would like to ask you to participate in a study that is being conducted by the University of Amsterdam. The subject of this study is Internet communication. Note that your participation is fully anonymous. Please, if you have the time, feel free to go to to fill out the questionnaire that has been set up. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. If you know any other people who might be willing to participate, please forward this message to them. Furthermore, if you have any questions, you can reply to this email address:

We would like to thank you very much in advance for your time and effort.

University of Amsterdam (
The Netherlands


Dear... er... whatever,

Hey! We in Holland would like to ask you to... you to... er... to participate in a... well... study by the... er... University of Amsterdam. The... er... only subject of our study is the toxic effect of... of... um... blow... weed... reefer... I... I mean, cannabis, on clog-wearing tulipheads that sit around, quite utterly stoned out of their, er... poor tiny little brains, in 24-hour 'brown' canal cafes, continually smoking... um ... wait a moment, I'm quite tired... oh yeah, pot... eating sweet hash cakes (yummy) and posting off spam such as this. Like, er... I'm out of it, too! Totally heavy!

So if... um... if, er... interested, reply to:

Peace, man! You have a nice day, OK!

M. Wolf,
Spliff Survey Team,
University of Amsterdam (
The Netherlands.


3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Question: Where do I get this New credit File from?
Answer: That's a secret and you will find out once you purchase my kit. But what I can tell you is that my secret method is 100% legal, 100% ethical, and best of all 100% GUARANTEED!

Question: How many people have have used your method and have had success?
Answer: I have sent out over 3600 orders so far and have not had anyone return this information because they were unable to open a new credit file using my secret method.

Question: Are there any other fees involved after I purchase your kit?
Answer: Your out of pocket expense will be around $20.00 more to get your new credit file which is a processing charge and that is it. And this is a one time fee.

Question: How long does it take for me to receive my information?
Answer: You will receive your information by U.S. Mail within 7 business days after you receive your order. We strive to mail out all orders within 3 days, but sometimes, we get backlogged with orders. We guarantee that you'll receive your order within 7 business days though!


Question: Why the fuck do these idiots try to convince me to buy their turds when I obviously won't?
Answer: Curiously enough, they wouldn't care if you will never send them money. They have enough resources to take care of their future; Too bad - now they are purely concerned with the mutilation of the web.

Question: Should I ignore them?
Answer: Why, you shouldn't! In fact, anagrams of these pathetic letters are barrels of fun!

Question: Is it true the male spammers have microscopic genitals?
Answer: It is, my dear, you're very clever! Their sorry woodies are of wee measurements - some are even without any signs of sexual organs! To review a recent study, a web-idiot's dick length will be roughly 0.0001207% of the average piece.

Question: I've decided to slay one. Could you guide me, please?
Answer: Sure! First, try and find their hideout, usually a basement or a video arcade. Once captivated, behead them with a sword. For anyone residing abroad I think a hitman is in order. I know of at least two in Australia, so please ring me at 1-700-6003-0301.


Paul Equinox Collins with:
Net Systems USA is currently seeking people to run a home based business for work at home. Good income and flexible hours. Great for stay-at-home moms, students, and those who need the extra money.
No experience necessary, we will train. Start next day! Computer and internet required. Visit us online: for more info.
Men, women!
Rich? Bone idle? Hedonistic? Prefer to lie around at home after sixteen hours sleeping?
Good news, pessimists! You sexy beasts can quit that paying job tomorrow and make no cash instead. Stress melts. Screw Marxism!
You'll need the 'Net, TV remote, and (key, unfortunately) your own existent means of recurrent funds.
We're wasters - be one!


Adrian Hickford with:
Aloha! and welcome to Hawaii...

If you want to enjoy beautiful nights, exotic beaches, and great food.
Come and pay a visit to the island of Oahu known as the "Gathering Place".


Jennifer Sourychack


It's Milton Keynes! Hoorah!

No Bacchanalian gaiety, Acacia woodland and big jungle foliage here, just daft, fake cows (à la 'hi-tech') and a hefty amount of excrement. Whoopee!

So, visit our Utopia. Ah, why not?


Matjaz Pihler with:
Dear reader,

We would like to ask you to participate in a study that is being conducted by the University of Amsterdam. The subject of this study is Internet communication. Note that your participation is fully anonymous. Please, if you have the time, feel free to go to to fill out the questionnaire that has been set up. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. If you know any other people who might be willing to participate, please forward this message to them. Furthermore, if you have any questions, you can reply to this email address:

We would like to thank you very much in advance for your time and effort.

University of Amsterdam (
The Netherlands


Hello, dear University,

Despite its academic nature, this post is treated as SPAM by a lot in this wide community where we must, by definition, reply to and anagram every non-topical post.

Please follow the word of our FAQ for clear elaboration on this.

If you take interest in such activities you might want to forward this letter to your friends and fuel the hot letter-mixing clique we are.

Hell, if you feel like it&have depth, you could have a go yourself, or just write more punk SPAM (& evoke workout stuff for us...).

By the way, you can help in this month's contest and vote. Will only take 2-4 minutes of your time, at

Top undue fun here, with the alt.anagrams community

(no academy yet, but belief & wishes...)


Mick Tully with:
Real pics of famous people naked, I think they are real!! =
Duchess of York: "Appear in a porn film? Tee-hee! I take all!"


James H. Young with:

I am from Sweden and I am travelling your area having good time - I saw your profile on before I left Sweden and I send you a couple of E-Mails through friendfinder before I am come here and wonder if you received them?

I am arrived in our area now - but no reply? I am hoping I have not broken my account by changing my venu or because my email address is Swedish? I am looking for fun while I am in our area - and want somebody to show me round (especially the night life!!)

If you are fixed up or want to see my picture please let me know!



Dear Elga,

You say you saw my "profile" in a web page I have never visited? Fine. I am sure nice, cute Swedish blondes are likely coming off to one of the more miniscule towns in Denmark to be "shown around" by me if I am a Recorder-fondling music student who does five hours of anagramming in his free time. I imagine we both know you aren't real. I find the idea untrue and idiotic. I figure you are probably a middle-aged pedophile from Iowa, a hairy French porn-peddler homo or (worse yet) a fun Unix programmer from Cleveland. Why can't you leave me alone, man?



eq.1st - David Bourke with:

The Maurice Goddard Memorial Trail will be dedicated at 10 a.m. June 6 at the Camp Hill Borough Hall in Cumberland County. The four-mile walking and biking trail in Camp Hill Borough is being named for Goddard, a resident of Camp Hill, who was the first secretary of the state's Department of Forests and Waters. Goddard died in 1995 in a fire at his home. Speakers will include Caren Glotfelty, who holds the Maurice Goddard Chair in Forestry and Conservation at Penn State University; William Forrey, past director of the Bureau of Forestry; and Ernest Morrison, an author who is writing a biography of Goddard.

The trail begins at the Conodogoinuit Creek in Seibert Park, passes through the Camp Hill Bypass tunnel and travels south to Fiala Park.

For more information, contact Tom Sexton, Rails-to-Trails Conservancy, at 717 238-1717.



The first 'Maurice Goddard Award For Highly Mediocre Poetic Anagramming' shall be presented about June 19th. The winner receives a fabulous expenses-almost-paid, totally-action-filled trip to Molde to, in fact, meet, also touch, the good man too! Sort of. Perhaps. Perhaps not.

A choice 21 candidates for champion are:

Wayne 'Doofus' Baisley
David Bourke
Janet Burholt
Larry Brash
Don/Dan Fortier
Linda Garrett
Richard Grantham
David A. Green
Ernesto Guiraldes
Adrian Hickford
Mey Kraus
Lardy Girl
Tom Myers
Walter Newboldt
Martin Rand
Len Richards
Rick Rothstein
Spurs Kevin
Mick 'Irish' Tully
Sir William Tunstall-Pedoe

For a hint about how to tie... er... win it, catch me at 01695-778177 or toss off an e-mail to, stating in it if a boy or a girl, height, chest/bust profile, inside leg, etc.

I shall find a winner, to be announced Dec 31st.

Got that, dear?



eq.1st - Jaybur with:
An excerpt from a book on the Impressionists.


3rd - Allan Morley with:
No man is an island


David Bourke with:
Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces =
As our starsigns arise, I divine our social being? Or again, occult crap? Crap, I am quite sure, sir! Crap!


David Bourke with:
The Beatle and Traveling Wilbury George Harold Harrison =
Gold heart, sheer bravery, how brilliant on guitar... a legend!


Larry Brash with:
The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists =
Treating an actual crazy person's head all of the day is one's will.


Paul Equinox Collins with:
The new Harry Potter film has its Norway premiere shortly, and people are already going crazy to get advance tickets!!!
Cattle hype for overrated Rowling crap really annoys me.
I gag at the tripe. Another hackneyed wizard story spites me!


Paul Equinox Collins with:
The Cask of Amontillado


Don P. Fortier with:
Why did the Taliban put off the Bingo tournament? =
The B-Fifty-Two! Oh, damn, it had been turning up a lot!


David A. Green with:
The popular English romantic novelist Barbara Cartland =
Ah, vulgar Mills and Boon shit can't be real proper art, can it?


David A. Green with:
Rolf Harris's autobiography 'Can You Tell What It Is Yet?" =
Who? Ugly photos of hairy Australian celebrity artist.


David A. Green with:
Enid Mary Blyton, the famous writer of children's books =
In fact, most of her ol' Noddy work is elementary rubbish!


Adrian Hickford with:
I know not how, but as I count
The beads of former years,
Old laughter catches in my throat
With the very feel of tears.
Weary now, he looks behind;
The grey months stretch out of view.
The fatal scar - a clarity of mind -
Bares the future, too.


Adrian Hickford with:
Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquillity.
Wordsworth's eloquent keynote proposition: "Fact: repetitious long-verse creation is mellifluently life-affirming, too."


Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. (Albert Einstein)
Primitive men controverted genii Poe, Nobel, Freud, Tesla and others. (opinion of master scientist)



1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson =
Select odd words, laughing.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Taliban's leader Mullah Omar =
Burial alarm. Send me to Allah!

3rd - Jaybur with:
The Honorable Donald Rumsfeld =
So, he'll hunt for bearded old man!

David Bourke with:
Calista Flockhart =
"A fat cock's a thrill!"

David A. Green with:
Albert De Salvo, the infamous Boston Strangler =
Mr. Felon gave blondes substantial sore throat!

Jaybur with:
The Benedictine monk Guido Aretinus =
Keen, he did begin true music notation.

Jaybur with:
Director Sam Mendes =
I recommended stars.

Meyran Kraus with:
Samuel Taylor Coleridge =
Eager to use lyrical mold.

Tom Myers with:
Palm CEO Carl Yankowski =
I am a lowly cock spanker.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Ian Thorpe =
"I hate porn!"

SpursKevin with:
Marie-Antoinette =
I'm Annie - Eat torte.

Mick Tully with:
The Impressionist Edouard Manet? =
So, I'm not impressed, I hate nude art.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Seven Eleven Incorporated =
Open it and never ever close!

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Dictaphone =
Hi-tech notepad.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Fisher-Price Toys =
Eyes rich profits.

Jaybur with:
The Opel Corsa Comfort =
Ah, motor's cool... perfect!

Meyran Kraus with:
Stealth Bomber =
The mob blaster.

Meyran Kraus with:
Newton's Law of Gravitation? =
Veto! It's wrong! I wanna float!

Mick Tully with:
The Boeing Company =
Not cheap, big money!


1st - Richard Grantham with:
Two anagrams of Shakespeare's 128th sonnet, adapting it to suit the musical instruments played by my own sweetheart.


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Everlast: What It's Like


3rd - David Bourke with:
Affirmation by Savage Garden


Adrian Hickford with:
Ave Maria plena Gratia by Oscar Wilde


Meyran Kraus with:
Sylvia Plath: Child


Meyran Kraus with:
[A selection of Rodin-related anagrams.]

Auguste Rodin's 'The Cathedral' = Hands gesticulate the ardour.

Auguste Rodin's 'The Eternal Idol' = 'Nude Adorer' - oh, it is a gentle lust.

Auguste Rodin's 'The Head of Sorrow' = Showed a shout to sound rare grief.

Auguste Rodin's 'The Gate of Hell' = Featuring the desolate ghouls.

Auguste Rodin's 'Despair' = Grandeur is sad, piteous.


Allan Morley with:


The Anagrammy Awards