Jaybur

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > Jaybur

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

An excerpt from a book on the Impressionists.

Impressionism emerged in France in the latter half of the nineteenth century as a revolutionary new force in painting. The artists who adopted this style were the first to take up their equipment and leave the confines of their studios to paint what they saw around them outside in the open air. As a result of this they were able to paint actually as they saw a scene not as they saw it in their mind's eye.

The main concern of the Impressionists was with every aspect of light. Artists such as Monet and Cezanne returned incessantly to the same spot to capture the ever changing effects of sunlight on their surroundings. This impromptu style was made possible by the advent of three items: the camera, tubes of ready mixed paint and increased understanding of the optical effects that colours had upon each other.

Mon Dieu! I see, and feel, the myriad hues! View stunning paintings, 'Water Lilies' and 'Bridge over the Pond', which exemplify the watery scenic theme. Note an inspired French view, one of sun-dappled water, that is created with soft, feathery brushstrokes and natural tints. See airy scenery, soft green plants, flowers, portraits; some fleshy nudes too.

These Frenchmen opt to use their paintbrushes in an attempt to reflect transient luminosity on canvas. That way with a palette emphasizes the sensitivity of their approach in art. They choose to accentuate shapes in the sun with rich colouring, and use a touch that seems magical. Such eminent masters of art had undoubted talent at the time, for creating the freshest compositions, often out-of-doors.Oh yes, they tried; they attained an art ideal, magnifique, n'est-ce pas?

Return to Jaybur Index

Prince Charles's modern English rewriting of Hamlet's soliloquy, 'To be, or not to be.'

Well, frankly, the problem as I see it at this moment in time is whether I should just lie down under all this hassle and let them walk all over me, or whether I should just say OK, I get the message, and do myself in. I mean, let's face it, I'm in a no-win situation, and quite honestly, I'm so stuffed up to here with the whole stupid mess that I can tell you I've just got a good mind to take the easy way out. That's the bottom line. The only problem is, what happens if I find, when I've bumped myself off, there's some kind of... ah, you know, all that mystical stuff about when you die, you might find you're still - know what I mean?

Prince Charles (as Hamlet) philosophises: "Ah, yon Will: methinks he knew the odd thing or two about life's motley quiddities. Will one reign before one shuffles off this mortal coil? I'm no foppish, weak, lily-livered boy. I'm a kindly huntsman, I'm unwed, a duteous token of Wales: yet must I just sit it out and despondently await my time, that ultimate state? Oh, fleeting time... the enemy itself!
How woeful a dilemma! Humanity's fate is just harassment and heavy odium; yet if one opts to hasten death, what then - Heaven? Hell's tumult, just as likely! Oh, woe is me...
But soft! what light through yonder window breaks?"

Return to Jaybur Index

An old English teaching aid.

HOW TO CONVERSE: A short lesson

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating superficial sentimentalities and physiological or zoological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversation possess a clarified conciseness, a compact comprehensibleness, and a coalescent consistency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, Jesuitical babbling and asinine affectations. Let your extemporaneous descanting and unpremeditated expatiations, have intelligibility, without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolixity and vapidity. Shun double entendre, and puerile jocosity, whether obscure or apparent.

Now class, listen up! Give me yer lug'oles, you 'orrible lot: you're 'ere to learn. Don't complain: it can even be fun! So, go on; zip up yer gobs, hear me out. I'll teach all you ninnies how to chat proper, get it? Ace. Cool. Yea, pupils, 'cos now it's super cool chat time! You can learn loads: so, no more sad come-on, chat-up lines, lads!
First, fix all verbals: do not drone, and waffle on a lot. Use short, apt words; abandon insipid puns. Be brief, exact, 'cos that's civil, not pants. O, respect is so crucial: since a drip is not hip, right? Stop any extra jargon: it's flannel! Eliminate! Imagine you're literary; it's easy if you try. ...Oops, it's lingo, not Ringo (or Lennon). Mind you, 'e didn't do too bad in a Scouse accent. But I digress, I admit it; call it deja vu. As I said, let's abbreviate! Basically, cut the c**p!

Return to Jaybur Index

Return to Poem Page


Updated: May 10, 2016


Home

 | The Anagrammy Awards | Enter the Forum | Facebook | The Team

Information

 | Awards Rules | Forum FAQ | Anagrams FAQ | History | Articles

Resources

 | Anagram Artist Software | Generators | On-line | Books | Websites

Archives

 | Winners | Nominations | Hall of Fame | Anagrammasia | Literary | Specials

Competition

 | Vote | Current Nominations | Leader Board | Latest Results | Old Results | Rankings

Miscellaneous

 | Tribute Page | Records | Sitemap | Search | Anagram Checker | Email Us | Donate

Anagrammy Awards

  © 1998-2024