Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002


1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Classified Document =
Found access limited.

eq.2nd - Matjaz Pihler with:
I am lonely =
E-mail only.

eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Snort cocaine =
Nose narcotic.

Larry Brash with:
Rapid eye movement =
I've one empty dream.

Joe Fathallah with:
The roll of a die =
Lo, life or death!

Joe Fathallah with:
Brain damaged =
I'm a bad danger.

Maurice Goddard with:
Decider's notion =
Consider it done.

Richard Grantham with:
School student =
Tends to slouch.

Richard Grantham with:
The washing machine =
Cheating when Amish.

Richard Grantham with:
A television commercial =
Aim to sell nice car, movie,...

Richard Grantham with:
Under a lot of pressure =
Prefer strenuous load?

Richard Grantham with:
Charismatic leader =
Declare I am a Christ!

Kevin Hale with:
Police helicopter =
I circle 'hot' people.

Adrian Hickford with:
The crime of arson =
Fearsome torchin'.

Adrian Hickford with:
A Goose-step march =
Scream: "Oh! Gestapo!"

Adrian Hickford with:
The manuscript =
Thus came print.

Adrian Hickford with:
...and every night I distrust ~
the advertising industry.

Jaybur with:
A sorry tale =
A real story.

Jaybur with:
Kitchen garden =
Green and thick.

Jaybur with:
Mortal sin ~
isn't moral.

Jaybur with:
The silence is deafening =
Since the engines failed.

Jaybur with:
The flowers that bloom in the spring =
The sign of little warmth: hope's born.

Meyran Kraus with:
A Silent Prayer =
Priestly arena.

Meyran Kraus with:
No grace in ~

Meyran Kraus with:
An Office Secretary =
Carry in coffee, teas.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Baptism Ritual =
Met spiritual bath.

Lardy Girl with:
Abort, retry, ignore =
Error - bitter agony!

Jan Hyde with:
Abort, retry, ignore =
To get binary error.

David Monk with:
Japanese tea ceremony =
Peace enjoyment's area.

Tom Myers with:
Final repose =
In for a sleep.

Tom Myers with:
Aging gracefully? =
Ugly, glaring face!

Tom Myers with:
Paranormal activity =
I am part clairvoyant.

Tom Myers with:
I have no charisma =
I am harsh, a novice.

Tom Myers with:
Man-eating lion =
O! Gent in animal.

Tom Myers with:
Losing my grip on reality =
I'm angry, on silly ego-trip.

Tom Myers with:
A social outcast =
Alas, too caustic!

Matjaz Pihler with:
A stealth fighter =
Hear a test flight.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Polygamist =
Mostly a pig!

Santi Spadaro with:
Television ads ~
enslave idiots.

SpursKevin with:
Do it under a boss =
Subordinates do.

Mick Tully with:
Plastic surgery =
Super-grisly act.

James H. Young with:
A diet =
I'd eat.

James H. Young with:
Utter nonsense =
Sent on Usenet®.

James H. Young with:
There's no " " in ~

James H. Young with:
Amnesia =
Am I sane?


1st - Tom Myers with:
He's a legend in his own mind =
Neil Diamond, when he sings.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
'The Old Man and the Sea' by Ernest Hemingway =
He's made his enemy angry and won the battle.

3rd - Jaybur with:
'The Laughing Cavalier' a painting by Frans Hals =
A fresh chap in a big hat grinning suavely at all.

Andrew Denny with:
Sergeant Ernest Bilko =
Brainless rotten geek.

Maurice Goddard with:
Wrath of The Gods =
Growth of Deaths.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Arsenic and Old Lace =
A concern, as all died.

Adrian Hickford with:
Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons =
Can't spy marionette cast handlers.

Adrian Hickford with:
The conductor, Sir Simon Rattle =
Music Director short on talent.

Adrian Hickford with:
I, Claudius =
U, Suicidal

Adrian Hickford with:
The Oscar nominated film 'Amelie' =
"I am the frantic mademoiselle, no?"

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
"Fedora" =
Do, re, fa!

Santi Spadaro with:
U.S.A. Cinema =
I can amuse.


1st - Tom Myers with:
Celibacy in the priesthood =
Choir boys end pathetic lie!

2nd - Jaybur with:
Mid East =
Sad time.

3rd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
President Kostunica =
Pretentious and sick!

David Bourke with:
American steel =
Metal increase.

Dan Fortier with:
Space Shuttle Columbia returns home =
Spectacular, lustrous behemoth mine!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Comedian Milton Berle =
I become old, then terminal.

Allan Morley with:
Weapons of mass destruction =
Poison to smarten a few scuds.


1st - Larry Brash with:
Oral stimulation of the penis =
Fellatio's proteins in a mouth.

eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A close encounter of the third kind =
The alien confronted her, dicks out.

eq.2nd - Tom Myers with:
I've got a boner ~
to go in beaver!

Maurice Goddard with:
True impudence? =
Picture me nude!

Richard Grantham with:
Having sex =
Shag vixen.

Meyran Kraus with:
A moment of passion =
Spasm of an emotion?

Lardy Girl with:
Clit-piercing =
Clip it, cringe.

Tom Myers with:
Person made of ~
a drop of semen.

Graham Perkins with:
Pleasure you can't measure: ~
ease meal up your cunt/arse.

Matjaz Pihler with:
Tits bulge ~
but it's gel.


1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Amish are known worldwide for their simple lifestyle and their quality workmanship. Amish Loom Works combines these two qualities together in the "Original Amish Loom™".

The Amish Loom™ is a unique, handmade, easy to use product made of Northern Michigan native hardwoods--Mountain Ash with Hickory twig handles and Hickory pegs. It is designed to create high quality sweaters, scarves, throws, rugs and other hand-made products.

The Amish Loom™ is a hand craft folk art that enables knitters, beginners, hobbyists, professional weavers and textile designers to do many type of traditional off-loom weaving and knitting with greater accuracy and simplicity than ever before. The Amish Loom™ makes it possible for even the most experienced weaver/knitter, or someone with no handicraft experience and no particular manual dexterity, to make beautiful, stylish clothes and decorative accessories. It is fast and easy to design your own pieces, and patterns. It is easy to size garments, and it is easy to learn a basic collection of various stitches quickly.


Lord's blessing, my child. I'm Sister Mary Mcbaine and I'm quite ready to sit on your hard cock.

Indeed, after a lifetime of harmless piety, we understand now that the only way to appeal to millions is through raw, sacral sex. Oh no, it's not sick sarcasm or a cynical gimmick; We're really tight on cash.

The New Catholic Church invites you to the pretty Baroque monasteries for a feast of holiness, redemption and erotic massages. Come violate the professed sisters and go straight to heaven! Hump timid, hesitant virgins with silk-like skin or passionate novices who took a vow of tenacity! Find out why it's called the 'missionary' position! Ask for the anointment-and-bondage mix to maximize and quicken the orgasm! We even got a night of paradise for women with the Latin-Tongue Class and some dirty, wild-spirited fun with the Big Hermit.

You can also buy the special illustrated edition of the Perversions Creed, or rent quality X-rated tapes like 'Altar Slave Three', 'Bitches on Quakers' and 'A Firm Ass in Mass'!

Remember, God has created the woman naked and moist... as are we, under the habits.


2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
If you are looking for niche fetish content for your site then visit us at Modelxpose.

With such fetishes as Pantyhose, Nylons, Panties, Upskirts, Legs, Feet, Heels, Bondage, Smoking etc we are sure that you can find the content that will keep your members happy.
With more being added every single day!!
The Adult Webmasters Fetich Content Store


Ahoy there!
Alternatively, why not visit our new pet store!

Examine (then shoot) the following:
Poodle Puppies
Fluffy Kittens
Four and Twenty Blackbirds (mixed)
The Chickens
Lengthy Serpents
Sheep (with mange)
Mooses (or should that be Meese?)
Teeny-Weeny Insects
Wet Piscatory Creatures (Fish)
Tufted Toads and
The Ingenious Wolf-Pig


3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Please check out 5 dollars an email...I earned over $850.00 last month simply by using this program. This company is free to join. You can get paid and earn prizes for surfing, reading email, taking surveys, chatting and playing games. To read all about the program, you must click on the link and sign up. there are no obligations Just click on the link on the mail and it will take you to the sign-up page in a new window. Remember to refer all your friends, as this is how you will make more money.



$5 an e-mail? Even 500 is peanuts! I'm extorting a real CARLOAD of loot from online companies, simply by hacking into a website and copying message parts they thought were erased away. Just think: an incriminating note Ken Lay or Skilling wrote could command a price of 50 grand or higher. Either they pay us or the mud's slung and a CEO's looking at time in jail.
Also, during the Microsoft trial, the US government reportedly paid for all those surprising Bill Gates memos. Will opportunity knock again?
I'm not crazy. Call me and we'll whip up some big bucks: 800-WWW-GURU.


Dan Fortier with:
Somebody please shut down this illegal porn site =
Lord, I see this Spam type is legal now - should not be!



eq.1st - Jaybur with:
HOW TO CONVERSE: A short lesson


eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Pink: Get The Party Started


3rd - James H. Young with:
Welcome to Anagram International, Inc., manufacturers of the world's finest metallic balloons, where quality and creativity are taken to a higher level, and customer service has real meaning. Founded in 1976, Anagram International, Inc., is the world's largest manufacturer of metallic balloons. Today, located in Minneapolis, Minnesota, we market products in over 110 countries. Anagram is prepared to support our customers' marketing activities world wide, either through our Minneapolis office, or one of our eight sales and distribution facilities located around the world.

If you'd like to learn more about Anagram, please select one of the listings on the left.


Given our vast amount of traffic in alt.anagrams, certain fools in it are looking for more outrageous material to work with. It all results in an increasing number of incredibly strange and often quite idiotic results. It is because in the last 11 months, anagrams having to do with Shakespeare have dwindled a full 76 percent. Those with a connection to Edgar Allen Poe have decreased by around 90 percent too. Duller material like this poor one I crafted, in which I use a lame toy named "Anagram", rose 1 percent last year. Is it normal? Our future does not seem to allow for all our nice anagrams. If concerned parties direct all rude comments to me, I'll follow up on it in time.


David Bourke with:
The late British comedian, actor and keyboard player Dudley Stuart John Moore =
Dead. Both dead. Not only Peter Cook... but also him. (Just hilarity and a merry career).


Richard Brodie with:
This apartment or rental property contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and/or other reproductive harm. These chemicals may be contained in some of the building materials, and some of the products and materials used to maintain the property, and in the emissions, fumes, and cigarette smoke from resident and guest activities, including but not limited to the use of motor vehicles, barbecues, and tobacco products.
The capital of that insane, spendthrift State, the infamous Sacramento, is known to harbor batty, demented legislators of limited common sense; decadent elected trash; deranged, bureaucratic scum of minimum mental capacity; and many rich, rotten, corrupt politicians in office. Such a stupid, absurd sign! Even if one observed it, what is one suppose to do? Move right to another domicile or tenement that barred the smokers, cars, cleaning, outside charbroilers, etc.


Joe Fathallah with:
Dear Parent / Guardian

Re. BCG Immunisation

Your child has today been given a BCG vaccination in the left upper arm. This injection gives protection against Tuberculosis (TB).

This injection does not normally cause a high temperature.

Very occasionally, the injection may cause a little swelling of the glands in the armpit - do not worry about this if it happens.

In about 2 weeks, a small blister will develop where the injection was given (it may look like an infected spot) - this is normal and shows that the injection is working. In time this will dry up to form a scab and will leave a small scar.

If you are worried about any reaction after the BCG, please contact your School Nurse or BCG Clinic for advice.


Secret Government File

Re. Operation to cut educational costs (Ahem!)

Our Schoolchild Specimen Genocide Plan is progressing just fine. Just over 2 million billion have already been taken ill with TB. It was wonderfully done. Tricked into thinking they were having an injection against TB, they were actually injected with a live virus jab. As the fools will soon die, a big pay rise awaits us with cash that was meant for building more schools, which are not necessary any more. A greater vacation is also an option. Coincidently, it is great to say an F.B.I. plan to capture our evil critic Iain Duncan Smith is being formed, the "Left" Labour Party chimps being totally cack, corrupt, crap, lame, bum and homo tits.


David A. Green with:
'Ablaze: The Mysterious Fires of Spontaneous Human Combustion' by Larry E. Arnold =
Surely no-one's body can auto flare-up in hot flames, so it's some bizarre urban myth.


David A. Green with:
'The Woman's Fix-It Book: Incredibly Simple Weekend Projects and Everyday Home Repair' by Karen Dale Dustman =
Dryer broken? Teamaker packed in and died? A problem easily fixed by men, love - they just switch on mains power!


David A. Green with:
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders =
It catalogs all madness conditions if I turned mad as hatter.


Adrian Hickford with: [A poem by Carl Sandburg]

Down between the walls of shadow
Where the iron laws insist,
The hunger voices mock.

The worn wayfaring men
With the hunched and humble shoulders,
Throw their laughter into toil.



How bluish-white the boyish face,
Through warmth or raw chill.
Blanket torn, unwoven mess.

How wraith-dead the wistful eyes,
Watching, somehow unseen.
The unhinged door-dweller.



1st - Richard Grantham with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale =
Heroine curing fallen gents.

2nd - Graham Perkins with:
Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson =
An old RN sailor, a hero I'm told.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Ernesto Guevara and Fidel Castro =
Dared enforce revolt against USA.

Richard Grantham with:
Miss Amelia Earhart =
I'm a smart aerial 'she'.

Adrian Hickford with:
Arundhati Roy =
Author in yard.

Jaybur with:
Italian artist Pietro Longhi =
It's that original oil painter!

Jaybur with:
The American writer Ogden Nash =
One needs a rather charming wit.

Meyran Kraus with:
Rodgers and Hammerstein =
Men rather admired songs.

Allan Morley with:
The late Dudley Stuart John Moore =
O, the dead jester that you'll mourn.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Maurice Goddard =
Dear God, am I crud?

Joe Fathallah with:
Maurice Goddard =
I'd do a crude 'gram.


eq.1st - Joe Fathallah with:
Fat Club =
Cut flab.

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Oxford English Dictionary =
I find thy lexicon's rather good.

3rd - David A. Green with:
The British Board of Film Censors =
Robs cinemas of best horrid filth.

Art Day with:
Marston's Pedigree =
Am pissed, no regret.

Jon Gearhart with:
"At Meineke Discount Mufflers ~
Fine tin ducts leak more fumes!"

Richard Grantham with:
The White House Kitchen =
See the nitwit choke, huh?

Richard Grantham with:
Sibelius Music Printing Software =
Input sublime scores as if writing.

Adrian Hickford with:
Paris Saint-Germain =
It inspires anagram.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Arabian Desert =
Heat-based terrain.

Adrian Hickford with:
Cryonics Institute =
Run to "icy" scientist.

Jaybur with:
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police =
Ah, namely an ideal cop: red tunic, too!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Royal Marines =
Army at shoreline.

John Tezel with:
Mount Rushmore =
Honour mute Mr.'s.

Mick Tully with:
Western Europe =
Ensure we're top!


1st - Lardy Girl with:
[Famous Last Words]

1. I'll get a world record for this.
2. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
3. It's fireproof.
4. He's probably just hibernating.
5. I'm making a citizen's arrest.
6. So, you're a cannibal?
7. It's probably just a rash.
8. Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
9. The odds of that happening is a million to one!
10. Pull the pin and count to what?
11. Which wire was I supposed to cut?
12. Hey, watch this!
13. I've seen this done on TV.
14. These are the good kind of mushrooms.
15. I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
16. Funny, you look just like Charles Manson.
17. Rat poison only kills rats.
18. It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.
19. This doesn't taste right.
20. I can make it before the light changes.
21. Nice doggie.
22. I can do that with my eyes closed.


1. They look like eggs. Why not take them aboard our spaceship?
2. Odd - It suddenly got foggy inside.
3. We can search faster split in pairs.
4. Oh, it's nothing, just a shy puppy.
5. An icy pod! Defrost the deadly crew within.
6. I left something in the forest. I'll get it and be right back.
7. Fascinating.
8. But it's only a baby, sir, and cute besides.
9. Oh, its just blood.
10. Say, what's in the jars?
11. "Chosen One"?
12. That irritating historian can't prove his story. It's a crazy yarn.
13. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
14. I can enjoy ultimate power!!
15. We're out of petrol...
16. ...I'll go in that old house and ring help.
17. You have angered it!
18. No, no, don't. Don't kill it. We could learn from them!
19. Nice Halloween costume!
20. Summer camp's fun. Let's make love.
21. Fourth Reich?
22. I ain't afraid of no ghosts.


2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Beatles: Across the Universe


3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
I've Got a Little List


David Bourke with:
I've Got a Little List


Larry Brash with:
All the world's a stage


Maurice Goddard with:
Oh No, I Got a Cold!


Maurice Goddard with:
When you wish upon a star


Richard Grantham with:
SANTONICA contains A.
There's a B in HIBERNATES.
Use C in INCUSE.
There's a D in DISHEARTEN.
ENACTIONS contains E.
There is an F in FEATHERS.
COGNISANT contains G.
STANCHION contains H.
ONANISTIC contains I.
One J in ENJOIN.
A K in AKIN.
There is an L in LEATHERS.
A single M in GLEAMS.
There is an N in HEARTENS.
An O in ANION.
A single P in PLAGES.
Use Q in SEQUIN.
CONSTRAIN contains R.
SANCTIONS contains S.
One T in INTONE.
COUNTIANS contains U.
A V in VAIN.
There's a W in INWREATHES.
Use X in UNISEX.
A single Y in SAGELY.
A Z in NAZI.


Adrian Hickford with:
The crime of Arson
Hot! On fire! SCREAM!!
Fearsome torchin'.
To one, fire charms.
Erection from ash.
Fire's hot romance.
Hector moans: 'Fire...'
Fireman's cheroot.

[and, bizarrely:]
Chief astronomer.


John Tezel with:
Managing the Karma: 123 Rude Euphemisms

1. admiring the bone = boring the maiden
2. admiring the bone = moaning the bride
3. arming the torpedo = mating the drooper
4. beating the butter = battering the tube
5. beating the stick = ticking the beast
6. buffing the nuts = stuffing the bun
7. bunning the dog = gunning the bod
8. caping the crusader = raping the accursed
9. changing the oil = inching the goal
10. charming the snake = creaming the shank
11. charming the snake = menacing the shark
12. choking the pirate = operating the hick
13. churning the butter = bunching the turret
14. churning the butter = turning the butcher
15. clamping the pipe = pacing the pimple
16. clamping the pipe = pimping the place
17. cleaning the rifle = reclining the leaf
18. cleaning the walls = swelling the canal
19. climbing the tree = erecting the limb
20. draining the monster = ending the rainstorm
21. draining the vats = invading the star
22. erupting the volcano = convoluting the pear
23. examining the testes = steaming the sixteen
24. exercising the hand = searching the index
25. flaying the emperor = yelping the forearm
26. flying the kite = lifting the key
27. frosting the cake = stroking the face
28. gaining the stroke = skating the region
29. greasing the bat = raging the beast
30. hacking the hog = choking the hag
31. hitting the bump = thumbing the tip
32. hitting the sack = hating the stick
33. humping the hose = hushing the mope
34. irking the dude = riding the duke
35. killing the beast = stalling the bike
36. leaking the drain = nailing the drake
37. leaking the drain = railing the naked
38. lifting the lady = dilating the fly
39. loving the hand = holding the van
40. mashing the monster = ramming the hotness
41. massaging the mister = migrating the masses
42. mastering the bacon = romancing the beast
43. mastering the meat = ramming the estate
44. measuring the stick = misusing the racket
45. meeting the fingers = emerging the finest
46. milking the banana = banking the animal
47. oiling the shaft = losing the faith
48. painting the chapel = helping the captain
49. painting the pants = snapping the titan
50. petting the animal = painting the metal
51. petting the parrot = trapping the otter
52. playing the bone = obeying the plan
53. playing the dick = picking the lady
54. polishing the beak = leaking the bishop
55. polishing the rocket = piloting the shocker
56. pulling the carrot = capturing the roll
57. pulling the chain = launching the lip
58. pulling the pope = pulping the pole
59. pulling the priest = tripling the pulse
60. pulling the pud = dulling the pup
61. pumping the pelican = encamping the pupil
62. raising the pole = oiling the spear
63. raping the fingers = refining the grasp
64. reading the palm = pedaling the arm
65. roasting the chestnuts = charting the stoutness
66. roasting the wiener = ironing the sweater
67. roasting the wiener = owning the arteries
68. roasting the wiener = towering the arisen
69. roasting the wiener = watering the senior
70. salting the peanuts = patting the sensual
71. salting the peanuts = tensing the spatula
72. scratching the pole = pleasing the crotch
73. seeding the carpet = erecting the spade
74. seeding the carpet = sedating the creep
75. shaking the dice = chasing the dike
76. shaving the carrot = starving the roach
77. shifting the gears = sighing the faster
78. shining the pole = spoiling the hen
79. shooting the skeet = hooking the testes
80. slamming the spam = lamming the spasm
81. slapping the carrot = clasping the parrot
82. slapping the meat = mating the apples
83. slapping the meat = palming the paste
84. sleeping the hand = paneling the shed
85. smacking the pudge = packing the smudge
86. smacking the sister = caking the mistress
87. smacking the sister = tricking the masses
88. snapping the carrot = prancing the pastor
89. spreading the butter = spurting the debater
90. spurting the load = pulsating the rod
91. spurting the load = sprouting the lad
92. stirring the soup = sprouting the sir
93. stoking the fire = striking the foe
94. stroking the pud = dusting the pork
95. stroking the wiener = networking the rise
96. swinging the rope = groping the swine
97. swinging the rope = growing the penis
98. swinging the rope = wiping the segnor
99. taming the serpent = tampering the nest
100. taming the serpent = tramping the tense
101. tamping the tater = patting the mater
102. teasing the python = spotting the hyena
103. testing the launcher = rushing the tentacle
104. throwing the stick = stroking the witch
105. tickling the taco = locating the tick
106. tossing the sauce = scouting the seas
107. touching the penis = cushioning the pet
108. toughening the grip = hugging the pointer
109. tuning the organ = groaning the nut
110. tuning the organ = running the goat
111. tuning the trombone = motoring the unbent
112. twisting the crank = wanking the strict
113. unsheathing the sword = shadowing the hunters
114. varnishing the pole = polishing the raven
115. visiting the hand = invading the shit
116. washing the meat = sweating the ham
117. waxing the rocket = waking the cortex
118. weeding the garden = wandering the edge
119. working the stick = stroking the wick
120. wrestling the gator = growing the starlet
121. wrestling the pud = spurting the lewd
122. wringing the rope = powering the ring
123. yanking the cord = doing the cranky


James H. Young with:
Posted by Jamie Berry ( on February 22, 2001 at 20:02:19


The Anagrammy Awards