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As one day it will happen that a winner I must find,
I've got a little list - the Anagrammy list -
Of alt.anagrams offenders who could well now come to mind,
And who never would be missed - they never would be missed!
There's Laurence Brash, a nitwit from Down-Under, don't you see,
Who's got this whole incredible verbal ability.
He pops his clients upon the couch and listens to their woe,
"Typhoid! We have to amputate." The haughty chief's a pro!
Fat Phil and Anna (Lardy Girl) - I think they should desist,
They'd none of them be missed! They'd none of them be missed!
CHORUS
He's got them on the list - he's got them on the list;
And they'll none of them be missed - they'll none of them be miss'd!
There's David Bourke, the English fop with rudeness on his mind,
He's an ace with his left wrist - a total onanist.
And Janet's posts are usually of the intellectual kind -
Why does she still persist? - They never will be missed!
There's Dan and Don, the Fortiers, and the never-tactful Rick,
He offers up a range of 'grams, unlike the newbie Dick,
Who'd rather provide useless information about jam
Than sink down to our level, and just post an anagram.
Let's not forget Mick Tully, who is usually on the piss;
I don't think he'd be missed - He purely won't be missed.
CHORUS
He's usually pissed - we've got him on the list;
And we don't think he'll be missed - he really won't be missed!
Then the pious Richards - Grantham and Brodie - like to opine,
I've got them on the list - they ought to be dismissed.
Buffoon and outlaw, madmen both - I wish they would resign;
They'd none of them be missed - they'd none of them be missed.
Wayne's a Doofus, Mey's a twit and Maurice is a pain.
He lives in Milton Keynes, so Graham Perkins is insane.
And Mister Radisavlevic, who hails from Novi Sad;
His second language: English - so he's really not too bad.
It happens not to matter who you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed - they'd none of 'em be
missed!
CHORUS
You can put them on the list - you can put them on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed - they'll none of 'em be missed!
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I knew one day the time would come - a scapegoat I would find.
I've got a little list - the "Jumped-Up Newbie" list.
There's only one name on it anyhow. Only one name on my mind,
Who never would be missed. Oh no! He never would be missed!
A fiendish upstart from Southampton thinks the Grammies all are his!
The culprit's Adrian Hickford. - Who DOES he think he is?
I'll put some manners on him, shoot back up the Leader's Page,
And if he wants to make a protest - he can eff off back in his cage.
Perhaps he'd like a meeting? May I suggest his face/my fist?
And he never would be missed! No doubt not once would he be missed!
CHORUS
I've got him on the list - the "Jumped-Up Newbie" list;
And he'd not at all be missed - and he'd not one jot be missed!
Spam, Topical, Long, Rude, Special - he thinks he has them won,
Name, Other Name, Entertainment, General... hope he ends up with none.
This flash toady puts himself about like a common little slut,
He often tries to win in 'Challenge'. How? - By licking Larry's butt.
He hasn't any principles, for he'd fawn and crawl to have your vote,
- Didn't he resort to gerrymandering, the snivelling little scrote?
For a D.F. Etter point, even his grandmother he'd sell,
To win a shiny new Anagrammy, he'd stab you, truth to tell.
He's a ruthless mercenary nasty bastard - I'm sure you get the gist,
I'll be glad when off he's pissed. Of this it's sure: He won't be missed.
CHORUS
Shouldn't you put him on your list - and now? I've put him on MY list,
And he'd not be missed out - no, he'd not, the slimy hound, be missed!
He's a wheedling fat little weasel, by far the oiliest you'll find,
He's a beady-eyed brown-nosed pest, his whiffy snout in some behind.
He's a snotty total snake. And anyway, most of his stuff, it's shit.
He's a devious little shyster, I'd have to hand him it.
CHORUS
He's both the first and last - indeed the ONLY one you'll find upon the
list;
And I don't think he'll be missed. The sly old so-and-so won't be missed!
"More votes! More votes! More votes!" - He's awful. Worse than Oliver Twist!
And I'm sure he'd not be missed. Honestly, the clown, he'd not be missed.
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