DECEMBER 2003 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2003


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Hans-Peter Reich with:
One thousand kilos =
Oh, sounds like a ton!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Casino hotels =
To lose cash in.

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Acute narcolepsy =
Sleep occur at any......

Larry Brash with:
Schizophrenia and related psychoses =
has a dozen chronic types, said helpers.

Robert P. van Driel with:
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL =
Weary? Apply ethanol!

Joe Fathallah with:
Lies and ~
denials.

Joe Fathallah with:
The Private Sector =
Over-set that price.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Essay plagiarism =
Say, similar pages!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Perforated sheet =
Speed for the tear.

Jesse Frankovich with:
We trembled in ~
bewilderment.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Casino hotel gamblers =
Grab slot machine, lose.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A chemo drug treatment =
Get-the-damn-tumor care.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Overweight Americans =
"I cram in whatever goes."

Jesse Frankovich with:
A chocolatier's shoppe =
Pals sip hot cocoa here.

Jesse Frankovich with:
NY metropolitan pigeons =
Mainly pooping on street.

Toby Gottfried with:
Men seldom make passes
at girls who wear glasses =
Gentle momma grew lasses:
"Skip lads who are asses".

Toby Gottfried with:
Rome was not built in a day =
Now, a road must be in Italy.

Adrian Hickford with:
The customer is always right =
Wal-Mart courtesy is highest!

Jan with:
A faint heart never won fair lady =
Evade infantry or a father-in-law.

Jaybur with:
The postal workers =
A letters workshop.

Jaybur with:
The overweight and obese =
These who overeat end big!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The fashion =
Oh, fine hats!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Capture =
Cue: trap!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A lie detector =
Deceit or tale?

sundogg99 with:
A bottle of Dom Perignon champagne =
Grand opening of the metal cap... BOOM!

View with:
Enough! =
Huge NO!

View with:
Emotionally involved =
Love? I'm not in love, lady!


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Best-Selling Book in the World =
Still the Bible - God knew no others!

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan =
Damn pair! Connery is THE total Bond.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The "Lord of the Rings" movies =
Those elves fight in Mordor.

David Bourke with:
The Australian singer and actress Kylie Minogue =
Great arse, dismal talent, you shrieking nuisance!

Larry Brash with:
"Air on a G-string" =
Arranging it so.

Scott Gardner with:
"The Last Samurai" motion picture =
O, a triumph! Tom Cruise is a talent!

Scott Gardner with:
Disney's "The Haunted Mansion" =
Many undead seen in this shot.

Toby Gottfried with:
American actress =
Cast camera siren.

Jaybur with:
"Target Earth" =
Great threat.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The sculptor Auguste Rodin =
Lord's pure, touching statue.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Lord of the Rings by Tolkien =
Hot, trendy! Filling three books!

Santi Spadaro with:
Carmen Consoli =
can croon, smile.

sundogg99 with:
The CBS hit series "Survivor" =
Richest bush visitors ever.

View with:
The worldwide leader in sports =
ESPN - hot road ride, wild wrestle...

View with:
Guinness book of records - Two thousand and three =
So gather, beside no others, our odd unknown facts.

Alan Yoshioka with:
Georg Friedrich Handel's oratorio Messiah =
His richer arias delight me for good reason.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Saddam Hussein, the Iraqis' former president =
A squad pried his ass from his retirement den.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The oldest New Years' Eve tradition =
Resolve to diet as we eat thy dinner!

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Former President Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti =
Strike finds sad, immature rat in "spider hole".

David Bourke with:
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin =
Want a child? Try his worm...pregnant!

David Bourke with:
A hole in the ground =
Under, the hooligan.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The American budget crisis =
Indicates great Bush crime.

Jesse Frankovich with:
End to American steel tariffs =
Not aimless; free trade in fact.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Howard Dean presidential campaign =
Al Gore went and handicapped their aims.

Toby Gottfried with:
Iraqi weapons of mass destruction? =
Amid war, can Esso question profits?

Adrian Hickford with:
Hussein captured =
Each pursuit ends.

Jan with:
HM Customs and Excise =
Such Demonic Tax Mess.

Jaybur with:
Capture of Saddam Hussein =
USA find a mustached poser.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Capture of Saddam Hussein =
USA traps a foe (hidden scum!)

sundogg99 with:
Weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East? =
Deep flawed mission that counted no arms sites.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Scarlet women ~
screw men a lot.

2nd - sundogg99 with:
Crotchless panties =
Penis-catcher slots.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Two-ply bathroom tissue =
Royal smooth butt wipes.

David Bourke with:
Primary non-retentive encopresis =
Every crap inspires torment in one!

Larry Brash with:
Morbid obesity =
I destroy bimbo.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Big steaming pile of crap =
Nose-clip at pig farm, I beg!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The fruitcakes =
"Eat this, fucker!"

Adrian Hickford with:
Sexual promiscuity =
Super to mix saucily.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Oral stimulation of the penis =
Fine tool in a mouth. Piss later!

Rozrat with:
Penis enlargement =
Men preen genitals.

sundogg99 with:
A pair of white jockey shorts =
The area of joystick worship.

View with:
Irate fuck =
Fruitcake.


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
Charles A. Lindbergh =
Bird has challenger?

2nd - sundogg99 with:
James Bond, Secret Agent Double-Oh-Seven =
Suave gentleman, he beds escort. Job done!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Renaissance painter Michelangelo =
Real giant scenes in a chapel in Rome.

David Bourke with:
The American actress Demi Moore =
A most mediocre cinema star here.

David Bourke with:
The actor Sir Alan Arthur Bates =
Oh, a star Brit, such a rare talent!

Larry Brash with:
Guy Sebastian =
Sings a beauty!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The terrorist Osama Bin Laden =
Arrest this not-admirable one!

Toby Gottfried with:
Fred Astaire danced with Ginger Rogers =
Recited George and Ira Gershwin drafts.

Adrian Hickford with:
Music legend Frank Sinatra =
Slick star; an enduring fame.

Adrian Hickford with:
Seurat =
Use art.

Paul Pan with:
Saddam Hussein =
US aid ends sham.

Matjaz Pihler with:
The King Rameses =
His Ka's emergent.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
General Custer =
Cruel sergeant.

sundogg99 with:
Sportscaster Howard Cosell =
World-class horse spectator.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - sundogg99 with:
Harley Davidson motorcycles =
Hot damn! Very cool, classy ride.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Peer-to-Peer File Sharing Software =
I saw great piles of free porn there!

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The New York School of the Arts =
Learns theory of how to sketch.

David Bourke with:
The Association of Train Operating Companies =
Repairs, seating incapacitations... home on foot!

Toby Gottfried with:
Marriott Hotels =
Let that room, sir.

David A. Green with:
Beechams Decongestant Plus with paracetamol =
Ace tablet to cure a wimp's snot, aches and phlegm.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Tobacco Manufacturers Association =
As it's a man's choice of a cancer or "butt out".

Jan with:
Catholics and Protestants =
No contact... as hatred splits.

Jaybur with:
Elohim =
Lo! I'm He!

Jaybur with:
The smile of the Mona Lisa =
Isn't female, it's male (ho ho)!

Paul Pan with:
Greek-English Medical Dictionary =
Geriatric: Heck, am old, senile, dying!

Paul Pan with:
Sterile in ~
Listerine.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The Container Store =
I note cartons there!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Republic of Ireland =
Dublin, particle hereof.

Santi Spadaro with:
MS Casino Hotels =
So, slot machines.

Spersitraut with:
The American Narcolepsy Association =
I taste armchair sleep on any occasion.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
"I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I think we ought to codify that one way or another" (George W. Bush) =
I think we need a new law to be encouraging to true mahogany, er, matrimony... and have a good wife to share babies with.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
What's the sole difference between America's president and Mussolini? =
I need no faster mind if there's such a simple answer: Benito was *elected*.

eq.3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Saddam Hussein is captured by the Coalition Forces as led by the United States of America.=
Ace of Spades enemy hunt is estimated as crucial to the Arabic oil interests of daddy Bush!

eq.3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The pedophilia allegations surrounding Michael Jackson =
Imagine that scandalous (or *lecherous*) Pop King held in jail.

David Bourke with:
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People =
African-Americans to open a foothold, elevated into top echelons.

Larry Brash with:
Father Ted Crilly, Father Dougal Maguire, Father Jack Hackett, and the housekeeper, Mrs. Doyle =
Cult half hour of a group: the three fecking reject Tike lads; she, the dreary mad lady tea-maker.

GOLDFERN with:
"Language is the source of misunderstandings."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery =
"Genius's erudition is a guarantee son.
Nix speech and stay mute." - GoldFern

Toby Gottfried with:
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, + Rudolph =
Extra reindeer count proved bunch can zip sled, and children romp!

David A. Green with:
'The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae)' by C.W. Moeliker =
Shit! Watch his incredible example of horny male-on-male assault on the hairy anal cavity of a drake's corpse.

David A. Green with:
Psychologists for the Ethical Treatment of Animals =
Single aim to help the lot of many cats, rats or fish, etc.

David A. Green with:
The International Professional Security Association =
or: As a precaution, they insist on a lot of initial screens.

David A. Green with:
"The Handbook of Nonsexist Writing: For Writers, Editors and Speakers" by Casey Miller and Kate Swift =
Yes, it'd censor things like "Don't be an old woman", "wife's work" "a bit of skirt", "fairer sex" and "her pretty ass".

David A. Green with:
The International Association of Teachers of English as a Foreign Language =
In an area south-east of China, a teenage class is going off to learn their lingo.

Adrian Hickford with:
Art and Literature
Entertainment
Geography
History
Science and Nature
Sports and Leisure
=
These are the entry categories in a stunningly popular recreation, I understand, rated "Smart".

Spersitraut with:
International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders =
Staff's turning old notions of Nutrition into rational and clearer ideas.


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
People are occasionally having problems with nominations. Teething problems are common with new changes.

The most common problem is making mistake on their nomination, pressing "Post Now", rather than "Review Message", then trying to correct the mistake on their reply (not the original post). The end-result is that the anagram becomes attributed to the nominator not the author.

Helpful tips to overcome this:

1. With all nominations, please use the "Review Message" button.

2. If you have made a mistake, then use your browser's back button and correct the error, and review the message again.

3. If it is correct, then press: "Post this message"

I hope this helps and will mean less work for me to look out for and correct mistakes.

Larry

=

Thanks, Larry (our sometimes spokesperson) for the enlightenment; these three top troubleshooting tips are marvellous.

Nevertheless, more things we must remember when posting to the Forum:

1. When Meyran Kraus has an anagram nominated within a particular category, you might as well not bother posting your pointless one - as he will win the competition himself!

2. Note: please check both the archives prior to being tempted to post discoveries like "A carton of cigarettes - I got a taste for cancer", "A ten-inch dick - Nice and thick" and "Astronomer - Moon-starer."

3. Larry will prohibit, or even remove without comment, bothersome posts (like this unwholesome abomination) that attempt to anagram his messages.

Best wishes,
Adrian.

 

eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
On the twelfth day of Christmas

 

eq.2nd - Allan Morley with:
My name is Kelly LeBlanc, D.D.S. and I am a Cosmetic Dentist in Houston, Texas. I have come to realize that not everyone has the time to take off work to get his or her teeth whitened or bleached.

I have developed a unique system for bleaching your teeth from the comfort of your home and at a fraction of the cost of what it would cost at my or any other dental office.

The normal cost for teeth whitening at my office is $350-$500, but now because of the low cost of purchasing and selling on the Internet, I am able to offer to you the SAME bleaching system for only $99!

That's right, upper and lower teeth bleached as white as you would like them for only $99! There's no unnecessary trip to the dental office or the cost of seeing the dentist or hygienist. This is how I am able to pass the savings to you, your family and friends! Please feel free to forward this e-mail to anyone you know that might benefit from this tremendous offer.

=

Congratulations, feeble moron, for making the effort to realize that 99.99% of us do not have sufficiently flexible work hours (or the money) to accommodate these moronic cosmetic procedures--not to mention recommending that we offend family and friends by telling them that their teeth need to be whitened. It's shameful when a dentist has a cavity, but even worse when that cavity is where your *brain* should be.

Anyhow, let me hypothesise as to the nature of this fine idea of yours, that mystery teeth-whitening system: is it correction fluid? Clear nail polish? A fresh coat of lead-based gloss paint each afternoon?

Yeah, well I've got another teeth-whitening offer to make to you: for a mere $3,550.00 I'll come by your office, take a hefty hammer to your teeth and then squash pieces of soft white chalk into the resulting gaps. The effect is as good or better, and it's almost totally foolproof. So, how does Monday sound?

 

David Bourke with:
Thanks, Richard. It's pleasing to know I have a certain style of anagramming that may, on occasions, be recognisable as typically mine. I've sometimes thought it might make an interesting Anagrammy Challenge competition to try and compose an anagram in the style of someone else. Choice of subject matter, flattering or satirical treatment, selection of words and phraseology, etc. - these are all components that might be played with to good effect to mimc or pastiche another's style.

=

Each anagramming style to ape:

Richard Grantham: Sage, poet... sonnets, piano, code attachments, etc.

Larry Brash: Medical conditions, alcohol, sheep.

Mike Keith: Cool mathematical feats.

JB: O, nice tame inoffensive whimsy! Car names, eating, etc.

D.A. Green: Long names of organisations.

DB: No tact, no taste, pretty tacky common filth, more sewerage.

View: Slightly-off posts. (Getting there too!)

Tom Myers: Most highly topical.

Hans-Peter Reich: Teutonic translations.

Mey: A true ego...totally inimitable!

 

Richard Brodie with:
Chirac says that Islamic head scarves, Jewish yarmulkes or outsized Christian crosses have no place in the public schools, and the French Council of the Muslim Faith expressed deep reservations about banning head scarves, saying it would be viewed as a discriminatory move against France's estimated five million Muslims.
=
Massive immigrant waves seemed safe, thus France now pays a hellish price to enjoy the cheap labor: loss of cherished values and of strong national identity; disharmonious racial schisms; very divisive public discordances; diverse multi-lingual chaos; and the sick menace of extreme, subhuman, strict wahabiist sect crazies.

 

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Anagrammy Awards is a monthly competition for the best anagrams posted to the Anagrammy Awards Forum. Anagrams from the Forum are nominated to compete in nine categories, and the winners are determined by popular vote.

=

A famous, often shadowy meetinghouse with an opportunity for letter arrangement, animated debate, and any associated tomfoolery!

Management Appointees:
Master/Commander: Brash
Archivist: Grantham
Programmer: 'Wordminer'

 

David A. Green with:
"What is Plain English Campaign? We are an independent organisation fighting for crystal-clear language and against jargon, gobbledygook and other confusing language. We are based in New Mills, Derbyshire in England."
=
The aforementioned coterie imprecates annoying labyrinthine patois, raw nonsense, and swagging arcane egghead lingo, and will gladly abjure, warn and gag all folk planning on using such ragtag gibberish as defined.

 

Adrian Hickford with:
"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."
US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

=

We now acknowledge that, whether to the unfortunate on-looker, eyewitness (or twenty), this awkward nonsense - awkward nonsense! - AWKWARD NONSENSE! - the brainless "Keystone Kop" hogwash, as now written and presented here, makes George W. Bush look like a new-found two-term thinker (rather than an outspoken, cantankerous stunted monkey)!
What now?

www.nonsense.com

 

Dean Mayer with:
CAD/CAM/CAE CRACKED SOFTWARE FOR SALE

- Fast Delivery by UPS or Air Mail (FREE)
- Reasonable Price.
- Guarantee of working all software.

Information / Price / Payment / Order:
cad.cam.cae@bk.ru

ANSYS 8
ARCHICAD 8
AUTOCAD 2004
ADT 2004
INVENTOR 8
CADKEY 21
CATIA 5 R11 / R12
COSMOSWORK 2003
POWERMILL 5
POWERSHAPE 5.1
EDGECAM 7
I-DEAS 10
PRO/ENGINEER 2003 WILDFIRE
REVIT 5.1
SOFTPLAN 12
SOLIDWORKS 2004
CAMWORKS 2001 PLUS
UNIGRAPHICS NX 2.0
WORKNC 15.9
XSTEEL 8.2
.....etc.

All software are full version with no time limits or feature restrictions

Information / Price / Payment / Order:
cad.cam.cae@bk.ru

=

Academic / sarcastic criticism covering trickery and deceit:
Sales deal? Fuck off you prick! We are aware! We all know - in fact the whole fucking world knows - pre-programmed entrepreneurs and (ABRACADABRA! Re-programmed pornographer's career!?) excremental cunts like you mean to invade peoples' privacy only to sell limitless examples of absolute crap (software for soft heads?). So fuck off you parasitic, idiotic, moronic criminal wanker!
(I'm also aware advertiser can transcribe/write/forward to administrator!)

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
A retelling of Mr Daydream by Roger Hargreaves, in which both letters and pictures have been rearranged.

 

2nd - David Bourke with:
The biography of George W. Bush from the White House website.

 

3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
Mambo No. 5

 

Richard Brodie with:
The love sonnet number One Hundred Forty Five by Shakespeare

 

Adrian Hickford with:
[A list of 50 short anagrams, all beginning with 'A':]

Abaisance = Abase? I can
Abbreviation = In a bite! Bravo!
Abdominal = Animal bod
Abecedarian = In 'ABCDE' area
Abnegation = A big, neat 'NO!'
Abnormality = Abort, mainly = I'm only a brat!
Abortient = Bear it not
Abortifacient = "Fo' I can't bear it!"
Academian = An idea, Mac?
Acceleration = 'Le Race' action
Achievable = Each viable
Actionless = No elastics
Admire = I dream
Adoration = Oo! Radiant!
Adulterously = Lead your slut
Adulthood = Lout? Oh! Dad!
Adversarial = Dares a rival
Adversarily = Rival's ready
Agnosticism = It's magic, son
Agoraphobia = O! I abhor a gap!
Agrestian = Eats grain
Agrimensorial = I'm a soil ranger
Alarmed = Real mad
Algebraic = 'A', 'B', 'c'. I glare!
Alimentation = Lain into meat
All-purpose = Plural pose
Alphabetically = All hail 'ABC' type
Altimeters = It alerts me
Amateurish = Rate him as 'U'
Ambitionless = No aim, bless it
Ambitioned = I mean to bid
Amnesia = Am I sane? = Name is ... A?
Ancestors = Son traces...
Anecdotalism = Old man: "It's ace!"
Antidote = It atoned
Anti-peristalsis = A pitiless strain
Antisocial = Action ails
Aphorism = Ah! So prim!
Apprentice = Recap: Inept
Argumentative = e.g. I've a tantrum
Ascension = Canonises
Ashamed = Sad (ahem!)
Aspiration = So I pant air
Assailant? = Alsatians
Asterisked = "See, kid - star."
Astonished = Said: "Honest?"
Astromancer = Star-crone, Ma
Atmospherical = Aromatics help
Attainture = Irate taunt
Augmentation = Emanating out

 

Jan with:
As I fold away her day clothes

 

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Old Devonian Carol writer unknown (for fear of his life)

 


THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

This month's Challenge was to create anagrams on a Christmas theme.

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
A school nativity play =
So plan a holy activity.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The manger =
Men gather.

3rd - Jaybur with:
Santa Claus (St Nicholas) and his team of reindeer =
Fat man in a scarlet suit has chosen a ride on sled.

David Bourke with:
As it's the month December =
One theme: Christmas debt.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Holy infant so tender and mild =
Then men do find a saintly Lord.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The True Meaning of Christmas =
Gifts hearten more than music?

Jesse Frankovich with:
Christmas in US, to me: =
That is consumerism.

Jesse Frankovich with:
All through the house, not a creature was stirring... =
Then Santa Claus hurries to wriggle to our hearth.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Dressing up as Saint Nicholas =
Santa Claus residing in shops.

Toby Gottfried with:
Seasons Greetings =
I sense great songs.

Toby Gottfried with:
The true meaning of Christmas =
I feast much more than resting.

Toby Gottfried with:
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas =
Gifts match warm air inside home.

David A. Green with:
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose =
Heh, every year he drops in and rides round on the sled.

Adrian Hickford with:
Christmas Holiday =
"Him as a child" story.

Meyran Kraus with:
The True Spirit of Christmas =
Rats! Must I chop this fir tree?

Walter Newboldt with:
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer =
Horned one's true pride led herd!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Celebration song =
Note: carol begins!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Christmas Season =
Santa cherishes most.

sundogg99 with:
We three kings of Orient are =
O, the foreigners trek in awe.


The Anagrammy Awards