AUGUST 2004 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Chris Doyle with:
Familiarity breeds contempt =
It's one cramped, bitter family.

2nd - Allan Morley with:
Valentine amulets =
Sentimental value.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
It's no big deal =
Bigot's denial.

David Bourke with:
A romantic gesture =
Mates are courting.

Larry Brash with:
A serious incident =
Idiots ruin a scene.

Tony Crafter with:
Birdwatchers =
This drab crew.

Tony Crafter with:
Alphabetical order =
Ah! Operate ABC drill.

Tony Crafter with:
An educated lady =
Acute and deadly.

Tony Crafter with:
Cauliflower cheese =
A choice we'll refuse!

Chris Doyle with:
With orthodontics ~
I'd crown this tooth.

Chris Doyle with:
Bait and switch =
I watch bandits.

Chris Doyle with:
Political footballs =
A lot of Capitol bills.

Chris Doyle with:
Tongue twisters =
Stuttering woes.

Chris Doyle with:
A rowboat =
Oar at bow.

Chris Doyle with:
The romance novel =
One love merchant.

Chris Doyle with:
Sweetheart deal =
We seal the trade.

Chris Doyle with:
A factory ship =
Fishy, to a carp.

Joe Fathallah with:
The heat burns ~
the sunbather.

Joe Fathallah with:
BT Telephonist =
Spin the bottle.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Billboard advertising =
Absorbed it all driving.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The dental office =
I'd clean off teeth.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The dental hygienist ~
delights in any teeth.

Jesse Frankovich with:
A manicure and pedicure salon =
Ad: "Come in and pursue nail care!"

Jesse Frankovich with:
Middle Eastern nations =
Insane minds tolerated.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The field of astronomy =
Many dots of other life?

Jesse Frankovich with:
Buffet meals =
Bum feels fat.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Railroad crossing =
Signals a corridor.

Toby Gottfried with:
His childhood sweetheart =
He sided with her at school.

Toby Gottfried with:
Airhead =
I read? Ha!

Adrian Hickford with:
Sun + cold air =
Rainclouds.

Jaybur with:
Literary talents =
Art lay in letters.

Jaybur with:
A water vole =
A rat we love.

Jaybur with:
Uneducated man =
A dunce, untamed.

Jaybur with:
The fashionista =
In that shoe? As if!

Meyran Kraus with:
The satanic rituals =
A salute, Antichrist!

Paul Lusch with:
Apothecaries ~
are at hospice.

Paul Lusch with:
Special report =
Costlier paper.

Paul Lusch with:
Medieval chivalry =
Had very civil male.

Allan Morley with:
A recipe for disaster =
Scrap ideas I refer to.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Yammering =
Me? I'm angry!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A bandit
ain't bad.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. =
Ho! Is tooth of granted thin mule OK?

Rick Rothstein with:
Foreign correspondents =
Core fondness: reporting.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Toerag thief forced to beg rough... ~
there but for the Grace of God go I.

Christopher Sturdy with:
I've no cash
Have coins.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The DreamWorks Studio =
Our team did two 'Shreks'.

2nd - Jaybur with:
Former President Bill Clinton's autobiography =
"My Life": or another opportunist scribbling deal?

eq.3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Televised poker championships =
Seek hands to improve chip piles.

eq.3rd - View with:
Olympiad =
I do my lap.

David Bourke with:
Tom Waits' voice =
I eat cows' vomit.

Larry Brash with:
The Olympic Two Hundred Metre Freestyle Final =
Mercy me! Fleet Ian Thorpe ruled; won this deftly.

Tony Crafter with:
'Kiss Me In The Rain' =
Aim? Rinse the skin!

Tony Crafter with:
A Kylie Minogue concert =
A meekly crooning cutie.

Tony Crafter with:
Captain Corelli's Mandolin =
Latin rolls in, accompanied.

Chris Doyle with:
"I Love Paris In The Springtime" =
Oh, a girlie visit 'en printemps'.

Scott Gardner with:
Monty Python's Life of Brian =
Holy Pontiff: "Brits annoy me!"

Scott Gardner with:
Women's beach volleyball teams =
All men watch some lovely babes.

Scott Gardner with:
The Olympic athletes =
Ah, they still compete.

Toby Gottfried with:
I Left My Heart in San Francisco =
Then scream, "California's nifty!"

Jaybur with:
Halle Berry is Catwoman =
To bare mainly her claws?

Jaybur with:
The top-selling authors =
Thoughts are plot lines.

Jaybur with:
The terpsichoreans =
Their honest capers!

Meyran Kraus with:
Keats' "Ode on Melancholy" =
A lonely one mocks death.

Paul Lusch with:
The comedy show 'Laugh-In' =
Yes! Much hot Goldie Hawn!

Rick Rothstein with:
"The Scream" by Edvard Munch =
Dandy. Much charm. Best-ever.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The Republicans' National Convention =
Bush live on CNN. I note total, inane crap.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Opening Ceremony of the Athens Olympic Games =
No match - Greece has spent one mighty pile of money!

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Australian Olympic swimmer, Ian Thorpe =
I'm in pool races... I'm always triumphant there.

David Bourke with:
The Olympic Games closing ceremony in Athens =
Chemicals got chemists openly earning money.

Larry Brash with:
The Australian Olympic swimmer, Ian Thorpe =
Oh, I simply repeat that our miracle man wins.

Tony Crafter with:
Fighting resumes in Iraq =
Misfits require hanging?

Chris Doyle with:
The USA Patriot Act =
I tut: "A catastrophe!"

Chris Doyle with:
Born in the USA =
Retain Bush? NO!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The bearing of the Olympic torch =
Birth of each ceremony: light top.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Army battalions =
Mostly anti-Arab.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Dying for Allah =
Had final glory.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Bush Campaign Ads =
Scumbag had a spin!

Toby Gottfried with:
Athletes gathering =
Alight! Greet Athens!

Toby Gottfried with: [Armstrong denies drug charges]
Lance =
Clean!

Toby Gottfried with:
The Republicans' National Convention =
Inane Bush patter! CNN! Live! On location!

Toby Gottfried with:
The Republicans' National Convention =
One inane rich lunatic plans to be on TV.

Jaybur with:
"The Scream" an Edvard Munch painting =
True: pinched damn canvas - nightmare!

Meyran Kraus with:
Fit athletes ~
fail the 'test'.

Meyran Kraus with:
Sudan =
UN sad.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Soldiers =
Dire loss!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Arsenal's favourite midfielder =
Vieira flees to Real Madrid's fun.

Alan Yoshioka with:
World champion hurdler Perdita Felicien ~
tripped in race, fell. Lord, how human! I cried.


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Republican Candidate George W. Bush =
Build on war; bugger peace and ethics.

2nd - J.J. Gertler with:
Famed terpsichorean Isadora Duncan =
Dame untied her scarf in a car and... oops!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The famous mystery novelist Arthur Conan Doyle =
Any theft or nasty murder? You can solve it, Holmes!

David Bourke with:
The South African golfer Theodore Ernest Els =
"Fore!". Fantastic shot! Green? Sure! D'oh! Hello tree!

Larry Brash with:
The Corrs - Andrea, Caroline, Sharon, Jim ~
are an honest Irish major record clan.

Tony Crafter with:
The American sisters Venus and Serena Williams =
See as an aim: Hit, slice, serve return - and win slams.

Chris Doyle with:
Nader =
A nerd.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The gold medalist Ian Thorpe =
Oh, tall dream in tight Speedo.

Scott Gardner with:
Mister Tobias Vincent Maguire =
I must star in a big recent movie.

Scott Gardner with:
Miss Carly Rae Patterson =
Or "Americans' pretty lass".

Scott Gardner with:
The famous Carly Rae Patterson =
Ah, as perfect as Mary Lou Retton!

Toby Gottfried with:
The National Security Adviser =
"As I sat there, truly naive,..." -- Condi.

Adrian Hickford with:
The singer, Pavarotti =
Striving at the opera.

Jaybur with:
Poseidon: the Greek God of the Sea ~
or see as the good king of the deep.

Jaybur with:
Miss Carly Rae Patterson =
Olympic star earns a rest!

Jaybur with:
Retief Goosen =
Goes in for tee!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Gold medalist Carly Patterson =
Gymnast doll reached a sport title.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Portuguese Ferdinand Magellan =
True, the man flagged under Spain! Ole!

Rick Rothstein with:
The singer Luciano Pavarotti =
He is real captivating on tour.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Abstinence Education Program =
Campaigned to ban intercourse.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Long train cars attend ~
Grand Central Station.

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
The Oracle at Delphi =
Had telepathic role.

David Bourke with:
The Lesbian and Gay Police Association =
Ooh I say! A set alliance aiding bent cops.

Larry Brash with:
Athens Olympic Marathon =
Ah, only champions matter!

Tony Crafter with:
Xenical, the anti-obesity drug =
Eat, relax, no dieting - bit cushy.

Joseph Dougherty with:
No misplay =
Olympians.

Chris Doyle with:
The Jerusalem Post
Just PLO mates here.

Chris Doyle with:
The Jerusalem Post =
PLO? Just erase them!

Chris Doyle with:
The Athens Olympics =
Oh, chemists aplenty!

Jesse Frankovich with:
British Organisation of Non-parents =
That inspiration for bearing no sons.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The George W. Bush Administration =
Hear dumbest reasoning go with it.

Scott Gardner with:
Yellowstone National Park =
Trail on one tall, snowy peak.

Toby Gottfried with:
The idiotic GM ran ~
Detroit, Michigan.

Jaybur with:
Saint Andrews Golf Course =
Scotland: A sure swing... FORE!

Jaybur with:
Narita
A train.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Toyotas ~
say "Toot!"

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Times Cryptic Crossword =
Writers chop my strict codes.

Alan Yoshioka with:
The Toronto Anarchist Bookfair =
It's a booth for the Ontario crank.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Computer (n), Electronic device which performs computations according to a series of instructions, known as a program. =
Microsoft Windows (n), A program that is defective, crack-prone (on purpose). In time, continual crashes occur, costing more.

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
Anagram (n.): A word or phrase formed by transposing the letters of another word or phrase =
Anagrammy (n.): Hot web site here for half-sharp word rearrangers to post and/or to respond.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The tragedy 'Othello, Moor of Venice' by William Shakespeare =
Iago's hostile plan led me to choke my wife over her 'betrayal'.

David Bourke with:
The President of of Equatorial Guinea, Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo =
A prime odious Bongobongoland thug, eager to eat fair quota of enemies.

Tony Crafter with:
The Australian Olympic Women's Beach Volleyball Team =
Call on a lovely, athletic babe who plays in Summer, mate!

Tony Crafter with:
The grizzly bear whose potent hug was feared by all, is now a rug =
Gee whizz - slaughter one large, brown beast to display a fur? Why?

Jesse Frankovich with:
Olympic Games (n.) an ancient festival held every fourth year, made up of contests of sports, music, and literature. =
Athens Olympics (n.) a largest event of heroic efforts of speed and muscularity, run at a very incomplete stadium.

Scott Gardner with:
The Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry =
Told Nader-Camejo ticket hindered his party in race.

Richard Grantham with:
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. =
Opine that most mere humans have never come *near* greatness - as George Bush demonstrates.

David A. Green with:
Sir William Barrett: "Death-bed Visions: Psychical Experiences of the Dying" =
As I expired, I was so enticed by this incredibly spectral light from heaven.

David A. Green with:
The Norwegian Minister of Culture Valgerd Svarstad Haugland ~
is outraged when gang steal Edvard Munch art for true villains.

Jaybur with:
Thy genius calls thee not to purchase fame
In keen iambics, but mild anagram =
I mean a poet balancing dictionary letters
makes this humble game such fun!

Christopher Sturdy with:
For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful =
A true moral word before we tuck in:
At stake - a very healthy mouthful.


THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Go play with the mighty then defeat some!

eq.2nd - Chris Doyle with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Yet why do top teams fail? The men get high!

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
I fight my way, then hope to get the medals!

David Bourke with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Gymnast, athlete, hefty weight, dope. (IMHO).

David Bourke with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Defeat might wipe the Athens mythology.

Larry Brash with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Late? What! My hope: to get the gym finished.

Larry Brash with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Many with hefty hope to get eight medals.

Tony Crafter with:
The Games Of The Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Teams hope they win the mighty feat - gold!

Tony Crafter with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
I hope my team get fit. Why? - The Athens gold!

Joseph Dougherty with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Gee, why I deem to path my flight to Athens.

Joe Fathallah with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Mega-hefty hot athletes in gym with dope.

Dan Fortier with:
The Games of the Twenty-Eighth Olympiad =
Fight ye the sweet mayhem in path to gold.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Oh, the medal? Pity, so few may get the thing!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Good time? Hefty weights? Play the anthem!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Yet they might dope to win half the games!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
The mightiest few, they got a phony medal.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Athens logo: the mighty defeat the wimpy!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
My, they'd go fast, leap high -- to win the meet.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Ah, these mighty few do get to play in them.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Fit men with a hope they may get the golds!

Toby Gottfried with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Who'd pay if athletes might get the money?

Toby Gottfried with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
They aim to fight, then may sweep the gold.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
They want to get high simply to heed fame.

Richard Grantham with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Women eyed "fast, high, mighty" top athlete.

Richard Grantham with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
He may lift the weights at the gym on dope.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Why, fine team might hope they taste gold.

Jaybur with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Hey, might yet get that fine medal... whoops!

Jaybur with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Mighty athletes who had type of meeting.

Jaybur with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Oh, spy the gym: how the fat get eliminated!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad:=
Hey, they get Gold oft with amphetamines!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
They get the mighty to win heap of medals.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
I see the new page of that mighty old myth.

Paul Pan with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
The "highest" type of team may win the gold.

Paul Pan with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
Athens teemed with might. Hefty apology!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
What I hope? My feet get me that shiny gold...

Rick Rothstein with:
The Games of the Twenty-eighth Olympiad =
A fine myth: "I am the type who gets the gold."


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with: [Two true stories from my life]
My girlfriend, in addition to being (among many other things) svelte, attractive, shrewd and thoroughly accomplished musically, has a formidable wit and she isn't afraid to use it.

One night she was playfully attempting to write some words on her stomach with a biro, but the ballpoint of the pen didn't quite work because the microscopic bump of fat surrounding her navel gave way just enough.

"Honey, look at me," she howled desolately. "I'm too fat for words!"

=

However, don't let it be said that I'm not up to the challenge of matching her wit...

On the first floor of the local shopping mall we once found a naked mannequin in a frock store window, and discovered to our surprise that he was labelled just above his bottom with a small copyright warning.

"They've copyrighted its bum!!" my inamorata giggled. "So... what do they do if your bum's identical to his?"

"Presumably, darling," I answered at this moment, "they sue your ass off."

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid - aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

=

ll'I timda ti - eht elat SI gnizama, er'uoy tcerroc! tuB gnittup eht imes-demmargana sdrow edisa, tahw tuoba seno taht era nettirw ni esrever? naC eht tnalutep dnim taeb TAHT elttil hctih dna daer meht lla ylisae nehw er'yeht denrut dnuora? ll'I teb ti t'nac, esuaceb htob eht tsrif dna tsal srettel evah yltsom degnahc rieht snoitisop (hguoht ton ni niatrec sdrow, hcus sa eht cimordnilap 'tenet')... ehT ylno sredaer ohw evah a nrad ecnahc tsum eb deubmi htiw a doog rialf rof yalpdrow!

 

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin' eastward to the sea

 

David Bourke with:
"To those of you who received honours, awards and
distinctions, I say well done. And to the 'C' students,
I say you, too, can be President of the United States."
- George W. Bush
=
Concocted nonsense? No, it's so true! Few wanted to argue.
Proved by the facts; the notoriously useless brain-dead guy
who said it stood, and is today in the White House!

 

Larry Brash with:
Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace
=
Why her, eh? As the groom's mother, I happen to think the bride's a very stupid cow, a clueless hen, a *real* blonde, fatuous whore! I denounce you!

 

Christopher Sturdy with:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George Bush.
=
Biggest noone under the sun is the American President himself. Wow, what a plonker!
A very bad, vacuous orator indeed.
Gee, you overturn UN 'n' Europe one way or another.

 

Christopher Sturdy with:
Blood, sweat, tears, urine, faeces, semen, pus, saliva, smegma, sebum, vomit, mucus, dandruff, eczema, menstruation, lactation, gangrene, phlegm, catarrh, earwax, halitosis and belly-button fluff.
=
Such fluids/matter come from our bodies.
Summing up: Poo smells, fannies fart; we all sneeze!
All can be anagrammed, but as a matter of taste, I catch with "rude" banner flag. Save us vexing Aunty.

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
PREPARING FOR EMERGENCIES: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A poem by Wilde about Shelley; one by Shelley about Wordsworth; one by Wordsworth about Milton; and one by Milton about Shakespeare

 

3rd - Allan Morley with:
What A Wonderful World, antigrammed

 

Tony Crafter with:
There was a young lady at sea

 

Joe Fathallah with:
L'Internationale

 

Richard Grantham with:
To bite the hand that feeds you =
Those that had benefitted you, ~ I bet you then shafted to death.

 


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
The symptoms of diarrhea =
A hot shit sprayed from me!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The symptoms of constipation =
It can postpone most of my shit!

3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Chlamydia, an STD =
A lady's damn itch.

David Bourke with:
A sphincter =
Crap 'n' shite.

David Bourke with:
One's conjugal rights =
Once on girl, just shag!

David Bourke with:
The Paralympic Games in Athens, Greece. =
PS: Many a pegleg meet in the chair races.

Larry Brash with:
Laparoscopic gastric banding =
Action can crop big lard-ass pig.

Tony Crafter with:
Points Percy at the porcelain =
Practice happens on toiletry.

Tony Crafter with:
Non-penetrative sex =
Never next to a penis?

Tony Crafter with:
Penetrative sex =
Expensive treat?

Tony Crafter with:
Fancy masseurs ever exploit ~
payment for sexual services.

Tony Crafter with:
Bestial practices
It's acceptable, sir!

Chris Doyle with:
The Village People song "YMCA" =
Gay men pose, get phallic love.

Chris Doyle with:
The RUDE section =
I see red-hot cunt.

Joe Fathallah with:
Prostitution =
Put it in torso.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Bondage implements =
Bending me to slap me?

Adrian Hickford with:
Please, no rude anagrams in the subject line =
Jubilant, open message, and 'real cunt' is here.

Rick Rothstein with:
Flat-chested =
Fetched last?


The Anagrammy Awards