Complete list of nominations for November, 2011

NOVEMBER 2011 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2011

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
To make the dish delicious ~
I'd use the cook Delia Smith.

eq2nd - Adie Pena with:
The Beatles' "The Long and Winding Road" =
We had then a grand old song in "Let It Be."

eq2nd - nedesto with:
A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney =
How I made ninety two years fun.

Meyran Kraus with:
'The Silence of the Lambs', a novel by Thomas Harris =
Hannibal has her solve most of the beastly crime.

Rosie Perera with:
The Muppets - In Theatres This Thanksgiving =
That Kermit/pig thing hits venues then? Pass.

View with:
Coldplay 'Paradise' =
i.e. Lads do play crap.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Devil's face revealed in Giotto fresco in Italy ~
after civilian disclosed a forgotten evil eye.

Meyran Kraus with:
Cameron's hit US film 'Avatar' =
He forms a virtual main cast.

Tony Crafter with:
Edouard Manet's painting ‘Olympia' =
I am a lady posing nude (note armpit!)

Tony Crafter with:
Edouard Manet's painting 'Olympia' =
I am a lady posing nude; am I not pert?

nedesto with:
The Renaissance master artist Leonardo da Vinci =
A venerated creation hints a star sardonic smile.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius" =
A fan of the unique stage show "Hair" digs it!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Silence of the Lambs by novelist Thomas Harris =
Hannibal lets that hot FBI hero solve messy crimes.

Adie Pena with:
Ringling Brothers =
"Bring the lions!"...Grr!

Dharam Khalsa with:
My mind, looking at the lovely art of Georgia O'Keeffe =
I think of geology forged like overt female anatomy.

Ivan Andonov with:
“Portishead” by Portishead =
Obey their sad, sad trip-hop!

Ivan Andonov with:
“Portishead” by Portishead =
The bassy trip hop I adored!

Harshal M. with:
Painter Claude Oscar Monet =
A man traces one old picture.

Tony Crafter with:
Edouard Manet's 'Olympia' =
Adeptly amorous maiden!

David Bourke with:
Get sheer fictionality... ~
The Cottingley Fairies.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
The Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi =
Politician bullshit is over. Amen!

2nd - Rob Bretveld with:
Penn State's Coach Paterno fired amid scandal =
An icon replaced for inept act stands ashamed.

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Kate Middleton pregnancy rumours =
Could her tummy, so tender, parent a king?

Rosie Perera with:
Children's Online Privacy Protection Act =
Cretin parents lied?! Holy crap! Conviction!

Rosie Perera with:
Julian Assange to be extradited to Sweden =
No bag needed; just needs to await sex trial.

View with:
Israeli Navy Boards Boats Bound for Gaza =
No doubt, Zion ably ravages aids for Arabs.

Adie Pena with:
"Comet Elenin is still dead." =
Eliminated. Silenced. Lost.

Rosie Perera with:
The euro crisis ‡
Irish to rescue.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Conan O'Brien officiates the gay wedding =
One significant benefit: we had a good cry!

Meyran Kraus with:
Andy Rooney from 'Sixty Minutes' died =
I do miss your annoyed text, my friend.

Adie Pena with:
The commentator Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney =
One more other cranky man dead at ninety-two.

View with:
Asteroid to Narrowly Miss Earth =
A disaster nearly hits tomorrow.

nedesto with:
November eleventh is U.S. Veterans Day =
Brave silent men thus saved everyone.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Devil's face revealed in Giotto fresco in Italy ~
after civilian disclosed a forgotten evil eye.

Daniel Austin with:
Conrad Murray verdict released =
A murderer convicted?? Sadly rare!

Tony Crafter with:
The spoils of war in Libya =
What... a finer oil possibly?

David Bourke with:
Troubling recession =
Berlusconi to resign.

Neil Ramsay with:
Servicing billions of Euros =
Signore Silvio F****** Berlusconi.

Rosie Perera with:
The presidential primary races =
Erratic party leadership's in 'em.

Ivan Andonov with:
Newcastle United's Saint James' Park =
Jerks seal its past, induct a new name.

Daniel Austin with:
Game over for Berlusconi =
Glorious November farce.

Adie Pena with:
Penn State Nittany Lions coach is fired =
Is Paterno clean of this nasty incident?

Adie Pena with:
"Addio, Silvio Berlusconi!" =
A libidinous clod is over.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Mayan calendar =
A clan: "Earth may end".

Rosie Perera with:
PETA asks Turkey, Texas, to change name to 'Tofurky' =
Men peg text of a tasty USA "Thanks" creature? Kooky!

David Bourke with:
Desert safari =
Saif arrested.

Larry Brash with:
World Toilet Day =
Allowed to dirty.

nedesto with:
Assange tryst bore him ~
the embarassing story.

Harshal M. with:
Herman Cain has "Oops!" moment on Libya's deal =
Ho ho! Lay one comment as bare as Palin's mind.

Rosie Perera with:
Republicans in the Senate =
Unethical, bare ineptness.

David Bourke with:
Thanksgiving Day in the United States of America =
And eating signified a vast turkey in the stomach!

Larry Brash with:
Trolls ~
stroll!

Meyran Kraus with:
Colonel Gaddafi and former president Hosni Mubarak =
Arabs kill a pure demon, and force his damn friend to go!

Ember Nickel with:
Death of Gary Speed =
Tragedy; hope fades.

Meyran Kraus with:
Primary debates of the Republican candidates =
Be afraid! The party's maniac could be president.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Night as November endeth, ~
here Advent month begins.

Meyran Kraus with:
Debates of the USA's Republican candidates =
It's a sad deal, but each of us can be president.

Rosie Perera with:
A suspected terrorist =
US tries reported acts.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
The Tory Prime Minister, David Cameron =
Pardon my advice to him...retirement, sir!

2nd - Adie Pena with:
The actor Laurence Olivier =
I never caricature Othello.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
US Secretary of State Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton =
Once held 'First Lady' status. (Royal throne in America!)

Dharam Khalsa with:
Actor Taylor Lautner =
Actually, not a terror.

David Bourke with:
The Italian PM, Signore Silvio Berlusconi =
"Si! I'm in no real rush to be leaving politics!"

Dharam Khalsa with:
The astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus ~
ensures Roman Catholic prosecution.

Adie Pena with:
Signore Silvio Berlusconi =
Our one long visible crisis.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Former Penn State coach Joe Paterno =
Face the perpetrator! No cojones, man?

Rosie Perera with:
Former head football coach Joseph Vincent Paterno =
Men that conceal reports of rape of child have no job.

View with:
Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich =
Wrong when trying election.

Harshal M. with:
Italy's luthier Antonio Stradivari =
O, he is a truly radiant violin artist.

David Bourke with:
Angela Dorothea Kasner-Merkel =
Landmark loan? A Greek to see her.

View with:
Daniel Ortega =
To regain lead.

Tony Crafter with:
Edward Furlong =
Grown dreadful!

David Bourke with:
The American singer Sinitta Renet Malone =
No talent maintaining her career, it seems!

Harshal M. with:
The serial killer Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer [1960-1994] =
Morally deaf jerk lies there in hellfire.

Meyran Kraus with:
Stalin, Premier of the Soviet Union =
Top heir moves in after Lenin is out.

Ivan Andonov with:
Sofia Carmina Coppola =
I am cool for I scan papa.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
"The Anagrammy Challenge for November is to describe yourself using these words." =
Here's a secret: I'm old. How old? Gangs of vultures sit eyeing me from nearby branches!

2nd - Adie Pena with:
"The Anagrammy Challenge for November is to describe yourself using these words." =
Formerly huge-fortunes obsessed, I'm now this college teacher driven by anagrams.

3rd - Maurice Goddard with:
The Anagrammy Challenge for November is to describe yourself using these words
=
Forum urged
Answer here!
I sing songs
To stomach cheer!
My belly's fat,
And I love beer!!

Tony Crafter with:
Vacant; dribbler; generally confused; may forget who he is sometimes... Gosh... "Er, nurse!"

Dharam Khalsa with:
Friends regard me as honest, clever, charming, to soberly wise. Enough about myself.

Harshal M. with:
I suggest one worn boy of solemn and cheerless grief here, but am a very smart child.

Ember Nickel with:
She's Ember, a rhyming Cub fan who needles at grounders, yells for victories. Go team!

Maurice Goddard with:
"Cheers! I'm me! A huggable, barren, nosy, venturesome, classier, dirty old show-off gent!"

David Bourke with:
I, myself by DB: "Into such rude anagrams...how gross! VOTE FOR ME!" (General silence there!)

nedesto with:
Ever see Alien? In other words; human technology massacred by burst-egg lifeforms.

Dharam Khalsa with:
A tense nervous grandma. I emerged bellowing, "My boys, off the church stairs, or else!!"

David Bourke with:
I'm as French as frogs' legs!
What's more (mon dieu!)
They're beyond revolting!
Sacre bleu!

Rosie Perera with:
I created the lean Microsoft Word. Hey, never blame me for any bugs or sluggishness!

Tony Crafter with:
Astral sign:

Lover of home.
Is cheery
But
Regrets much.
Aged; bones worn,
Needs family!

Dharam Khalsa with:
I guess my early table manners, with gross belching over a course, offended mother.

Dharam Khalsa with:
I'm not bold enough (it's fear), but ace my career, regardless of overwhelming shyness.

Rosie Perera with:
Seems girl's from the US, now lives in Canada. Came for the degree, got only shrubbery.

Daniel Austin with:
I humbly serve my regal breed as Official Nonsense-Word Suggester to the Monarch.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Me? Sterling BofA householder, becoming underwater, facing short-sale - very messy!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Here's one cumbersome demon - a slightly overweight curry fan, glasses, bit of a nerd.

Ivan Andonov with:
Thoroughly free-minded, can feel Serbia's struggle, saw many Coen brothers' movies.

Rosie Perera with:
We cosy breed of anagrammists belching great rudeness here on this lovely forum.

View with:
No guess - Smashing sweet loverboy, friendly charmer, modest benefactor, huge liar

Zoran Radislavlevic with:
Cheerful hero, Serb born in Novi Sad, may suggest fellow chess game. Not married yet!

Ivan Andonov with:
Football scenes and women sure gave eery childish guy from Serbia more strength.

Neil Ramsay with:
Crass, lying bugger-of-hell who everyone abhors; don't misunderestimate me, farces!

Paul Pan with:
I'm a homeless scraggly Athenian wretch in debt. Do offer me Euros, burly governess!

Dharam Khalsa with:
One: Babe in arms
Five: School child
Twenty: Grass user
Forty: Home gardener (legumes)

Christopher Sturdy with:
Man of letters, who sees endless vocabulary, for he remembers hugging dictionary.

Larry Brash with:
Clever bastard from Aussie, now going grey. Cheerful, brash (only sometimes). The End.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Cheerful-to-stern wife, mother, grandma, neighbour...secondly, a sly obsessive gamer!

Maurice Goddard with:
"O! Farmer Giles, man! I've cows, no bull, horses, hens, geese, berry fruit, my dog, and the cat!"

View with:
Sagittarius ('horse'), born December Eleven, chemist, haggard, slowly suffer, no money *

nedesto with:
He's that bold, nosy, sincerely unreserved, swaggering fool. He must be from America.

Dean Mayer with:
Gorgeous, flamboyant, cheerful, shrewd, borderline sane, sometimes very scathing.

Harshal M. with:
So, a freshly strong child of new, humble eyes, I never curse. (I'm a set bragger, too. Damn!)

Andrew Brehaut with:
Me? I resemble a gruffest cad stressing HRH by moving around to a colony elsewhere.

Meyran Kraus with:
I can be brash,
Act gross or worse...
My unhoned glee,
Most faithfully,
Emerged in verse.

Meyran Kraus with:
Oh, Furlong's
movies engage
me, yet shrewd Ernst Lubitsch farces
are nobly dear
IMO!

Maurice Goddard with:
"Maurice is a huggable, harmless, merry, loving, contented toss-offer when bored. Yes!!"

David Bourke with:
Myself? Right-of-centre, indescribably handsome, has several gorgeous women. (True!)

Larry Brash with:
He goes, "Counseling by Dr. Larry 'Freud' Brash. Leave message now to confirm the times."

Larry Brash with:
L Brash, the Awardsmaster himself: genuine guy; strong, obscene, fierce, moody lover.

Dharam Khalsa with:
She'll find these bright anagrams in every category - some wonderful, some obscure.

Rob Bretveld with:
Former Boy Scout who earned several badges for highly useless canteen trimming.

Meyran Kraus with:
Strong sorrow can find me,
Eager to bruise;
Love harshly cheats me,
Feeding my blues.

Adie Pena with:
Some old grey teacher from Manila; busy diabetic gent who runs, loves fresh greens.

Ellie Dent with:
A busy mother, me, reveling in old words, by shuffling manages to create scores here!

Harshal M. with:
A strong, cheerful boy who comes by, delivering these true, endless anagrams I form.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The 2003 First Place Winner of Technical Standards' Worst Manual Contest: "A Butchers Trolley":

ASSEMBLY PROCEDURE

1. Be tights part E with part I together by fitting M. Also can be installation handle part J in this side.

2. Be tights part D with part H together by fitting M. Like a step No. 1. And may be installation handle in this side too. Use corner fitting to be holds the Bottle rack.

3. To connects the both side legs with Back frame part G. Then ware Wire tray along the position itself and tighten each corner.

4. Assemble wood top with drawer divider. And bring part from Step No. 3 turn around to back of wood top (from picture) then tights wood top with housing and ware all casters to position. When this step finished turn around it again. Be CAREFUL top wood face!

5. Input the Drawers.

6. Test stranger & use on.

=

Proper instructions for assembling Ikea furniture:

1. Rip the PRODBLATT's package open. Notice that it's brown and that's the wrong effing color. Wonder if 'PRODBLATT' meant 'Ignore the client's words' in Sweden.

2. Remove the cheap parts, 132 plastic bolts and basic manual. Gawk at the nonsensical drawings.

3. As they instruct, fit the drawer in with that flattened bolt thingy and NOT with the pitchfork. Wait, what?

4. Cut digit on a sharp piece of plywood. Utter passionate obscenities. Dab digit with the manual to absorb the dripping blood. It won't help matters anyhow.

5. Grow madder. Decide to rely on instincts.

6. Congrats, the PRODBLATT Letter-Sorting Hutch 300 is finished! But alas, so are you, being carted off to the nearest rest-home and all. Just hope there are better solutions there for sorting mail.

2nd - nedesto with:
A trooper pulled a car over and asked the man driving why it was that he was speeding. He said he was a juggler and was hurrying to get to a show at the Children's Circus. Because the cop was fascinated, he told the driver that if he would juggle for him, he wouldn't issue a ticket.

The man told the trooper he'd sent all his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle yet. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them.

=

The juggler said yes, so the cop lit and handed him five flares. As the man was juggling, a van pulled up. This red-faced doddering Irish drunk got out, watched the juggler for a while, then went over to the squad car, opened the rear door and got in. The cop watched him, then scurried over and asked the sottish aimless drunk what he thought he was doing.

Halfhearted, he said, "You really might as well take me up to jail, Chief, because there ain't no way I can pass that test."

3rd - Adie Pena with:
TOP TEN GAYEST SONGS EVER

1. Lucille Ball and Bea Arthur - "Bosom Buddies"
2. Sylvester - "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)"
3. ABBA - "Dancing Queen"
4. Andy Bell & k.d. lang - "Enough is Enough"
5. Tim Curry - "Sweet Transvestite"
6. Pete Shelley - "Homosapien"
7. Doris Day - "Secret Love"
8. Klaus Nomi - "You Don't Own Me"
9. The Weather Girls - "It's Raining Men"
10. The Smiths - "Handsome Devil" / David Bowie - "Boys Keep Swinging"

=

Need a suggestively merry tune
That will make you croon.
See the movie so "engagingly queer";
He'll add "well-designed," my dear!
With gays/lesbians heading show business
Remember, the cleverness is endless!

TOP TEN BEST GAY MOVIES

1. Brokeback Mountain
2. Boys Don't Cry
3. Milk
4. Beautiful Thing
5. Rent
6. Philadelphia
7. In & Out
8. My Own Private Idaho
9. All About Eve
10. Gods and Monsters

Rosie Perera with:
A joke circulating on the Web: "The problem with quotes found on the Internet is it is hard to verify their authenticity" -- Abraham Lincoln =
Nice thing, eh? Actually, I just discovered that quote there was by Mark Twain. Opinion: Let not the inferior humor inhibit the nobler fact.

Tony Crafter with:
THE SIX WIVES OF KING HENRY VIII

1. Catherine of Aragon
2. Anne Boleyn
3. Jane Seymour
4. Anne of Cleves
5. Catherine Howard
6. Catherine Parr
=
1. A brainy Spanish wife
2. In Heaven - execution for treason.
3. An enriching love
4. Token German wife
5. Errancy cost her her head
6. Joy! Alive!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Age of Aquarius

Maurice Goddard with:
Five Most Popular Recipes of the Day

1. Juniper-Brined Double-Cut Pork Chops
2. Spaghetti with Tomatoes, Black Olives, Garlic, and Feta Cheese
3. Black Bean Burgers
4. Salted Caramel Pie
5. Roasted Turkey with Italian Sausage Stuffing

=

Grab a seat! Scoff esteemed eats!

1. Scrumptious! We slobber like hell but lick our chops!
2. Appetising pasta united with juicy garnish!
3. Adorable palate tuck!
4. Delectable hot favourite!
5. Proper Thanksgiving Day feed for Americans!

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The full lyrics of the song "Tears Dry On Their Own"

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
On Approaching Italy

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
An Arab had spent several long days wandering the desert without locating any water. In the end, things got so bad that his camel died of thirst.

He crawled through the sands, quite certain that he was drawing his last breath, when suddenly he saw something shiny poking up from the sand several yards ahead.

He crawled over to the article, pulled it out of the sand, and saw that he had unearthed a Manischewitz wine bottle. And it appeared that there might even be a drop or two left in the bottle!

He unscrewed the top... and suddenly... out popped a genie! But this was no ordinary genie. Not at all. This appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat and black hat, and full side curls.

'Hello, hello! said the genie, 'Vell kiddo, you know how things vork. You got three vishes.'

'I'm not going to trust you, said the Arab. 'I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!'

'Vot you got to lose? Looks to me you're a goner anyvay!'

He thought for a minute and decided that the genie was right. 'Okay then, I would like to be in a lush oasis, with lots of food and cold drinks.'

POOF!

Suddenly, the Arab found himself in the most green and lush place he'd ever seen and he was surrounded by jugs of chilled wine and platters of delicacies.

'Ok kiddo, vot's your second vish?'

'My second wish is that I were rich beyond all my wildest dreams.'

POOF!

Suddenly he found himself surrounded by treasure chests, all filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

'Okay kiddo, you got vone more vish. Better you should make this a really good vone!'

After contemplating for a moment, the Arab said, 'Ok... I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!'

POOF!

He was turned into a tampon.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached.

=

An old prospector shuffled into town trailing his tired old mule behind him, and made straight for the saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the hitch rail and tied the docile mule to it. As he stood there, brushing dust from his face and clothes, a young cowboy stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

He looked at the old man and guffawed, "Say, old timer, have you ever danced a jig?" The old man looked up at him and said, "No, I can't say I've ever wanted to."

A crowd started to gather as the boozy cowboy grinned and said, "Aw gee, you haven't? Well, you are gonna dance a jig now," and started firing indiscriminately at the old man's feet. The prospector, not wishing to have his toes blown off piecemeal, started jumping about like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the laughing gunslinger holstered his gun and turned to go back in the saloon. With that, the prospector went to his mule, withdrew a double-barrelled shotgun out of his backpack, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried audibly in the desert air.

The crowd immediately stopped laughing. The gunslinger heard the sounds too, and turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as he stared at the gaping holes of those twin barrels. The shotgun never wavered in the old man's grip, as he quietly said, "Boy, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir... but I've always wanted to."

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

Do not waste vital ammunition.

Avoid whiskey, as it makes you think you are smarter than you are.

Always be sure you know who possesses the power.

Do not piss off old men; they didn't reach that ripe age in life by being stupid.

Adie Pena with:
November - Elizabeth Coatsworth

Dharam Khalsa with:
November by Thomas Hood

nedesto with:
November by Sara Teasdale

The Anagrammy Awards

NOVEMBER 2011 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY