Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2001
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Antidemocratic =
Dictator came in.
2nd - David Bourke with:
Institutionalised racism =
It salutes discrimination.
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Evangelical fundamentalists =
Evil damn fanatics! Gee, all nuts!
David Bourke with:
Important cause =
Storm in a teacup.
Larry Brash with:
Medical trauma =
E.R. I am a mad cult.
Richard Brodie with:
Pricey astronomical dotcom valuations =
So, a moral: my civil occupation, not trades!
Crash Davis with:
Life in prison =
Profile in sin.
Art Day with:
Greetings cards =
Sign "Regards, etc.".
Richard Grantham with:
Placement in a category =
I may not accept General.
Richard Grantham with:
Comatose ‡
So, came to?
Jaybur with:
Live dangerously =
Real young devils.
Jaybur with:
Repossessed =
Depresses so.
Jaybur with:
Religious festival =
It glorifies values.
Jaybur with:
Older and wiser =
I learned words.
Jaybur with:
The early bird =
Rarely hit bed!
Jaybur with:
Fourteen pounds =
Found pure stone. [14 lbs = 1 stone]
Jaybur with:
Grand Anagrammies =
Dreaming anagrams.
Jaybur with:
The pharmacist =
Ah! part chemist.
Jaybur with:
Landscape artist =
Painted class art.
Meyran Kraus with:
Interstates =
Ain't streets!
Meyran Kraus with:
Medical trauma =
A malt? I am cured!
Meyran Kraus with:
Cold Steak Fillet =
Felt like old cats...
Meyran Kraus with:
Chicken Soup with Noodles =
Lick spoon used in the chow.
Keith Lehman with:
I'll be damned! =
Damned libel.
Keith Lehman with:
Battle stations =
Battalion's test.
ID Letterman with:
Prostate cancer =
Reaper's contact.
ID Letterman with:
Evangelical fundamentalists =
Guilts enslaved fanatical men.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Automatic weather stations =
I'm a wet static horn out at sea.
Tom Myers with:
I laugh in the face of danger! =
Defiance although fearing!
Tom Myers with:
A hunting lodge =
Loading the gun.
Tom Myers with:
Marriage counselors =
Romance arouses girl.
Tom Myers with:
The danger of cigarette smoking in bed =
Begins to generate thick god damn fire!
Tom Myers with:
Preserving the Monarchy =
Rich - government pays her.
Tom Myers with:
Roadside assistance =
Aid on disaster cases.
Rick Rothstein with:
Take me to your leader =
Okay! Do tea, meet ruler.
Rick Rothstein with:
Fundamentalists =
Damn sinful state.
Rick Rothstein with:
Pizza pie =
i.e., zip! zap!
Rick Rothstein with:
Total eclipse of the Sun =
O, spot the celestial fun.
Mick Tully with:
Spanish omelet =
Hi, mess on plate...
Mick Tully with:
Total eclipse of the Moon =
I'm that fool on telescope.
Mick Tully with:
Language laboratory =
A global tongue array.
Mick Tully with:
Hobson's choice =
Chose his cob, no?
William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
Storm in a teacup =
A romantic upset.
1st - Crash Davis with:
Kim Basinger files for divorce from Alec Baldwin =
Bride roars "I'm a fickle blond! Screw off, I'm leaving!"
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Metallica's Albums =
Musical meatballs!
3rd - Jaybur with:
Gladiator: the Best Film =
Able star: old-time fight.
David Bourke with:
"Green Onions" - Booker T. and The MG's =
...It's been THE modern organ song, OK?
Don P. Fortier with:
Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner =
As each Viking warrior bled, they'd ferry.
Don P. Fortier with:
The "Star Trek" show's Captain Picard to outlast James T. Kirk? =
Patrick Stewart: he just looks at trip chart and "makes it so."
David A. Green with:
Wet girls. Teen tits pornography. =
Gary Glitter sent to prison. Phew!
Colin Hayman with:
Temptation Island =
Note: it's limp T-and-A.
Husband and Wife with:
Gary Larson, The Far Side? ~
or his grand faery tales...
Husband and Wife with:
Lady and the Tramp =
Damp hydrant tale.
Jaybur with:
Writer Joseph Conrad =
Inject word or phrase.
Jaybur with:
Caravaggio =
A vicar agog!
Jaybur with:
Gainsborough: The Painter's Daughters with a Cat =
Aha! A huge artist's brush to depict own gathering.
ID Letterman with:
The New York Giants =
Yanks win together.
Rick Rothstein with:
The American Actress Julia Roberts =
Her nice breast, cuter ass... major tail!
Rick Rothstein with:
The Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner =
A brave, decent warrior... fly high, ride the sky.
1st - Ulf Lunde with:
Abdel Baset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi =
I am Allah's eager lad. I bombed them!
2nd - Tom Myers with:
A State for the Palestinians =
The point's essential - Arafat.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Pope names thirty-seven new cardinals =
Heavens! It's plenty in sacred manpower!
David Bourke with:
Peter Mandelson falls on his own sword... ~
penis-fondler's now a worthless old man.
Richard Brodie with:
Clinton admits to lying under oath. =
Monica adultery-night sin not told.
Crash Davis with:
Another Bush administration =
Oh, man, it's a bad rerun! Oh, isn't it?
Crash Davis with:
The Reverend Jackson admits committing adultery =
Liar! Jerk! Rat! I cite duty, God's Seventh Commandment!
Dan Fortier with:
"Casino Magic" is really a "fun" spot =
At play, miss occasional gunfire?
Don P. Fortier with:
A black woman is executed in Oklahoma =
Check out, OK? A lawman made sex no alibi!
Don P. Fortier with:
Our air is not for sale =
Sonorous aerial rift.
Carl Ginnow with:
A visit from Saint Nicholas =
Aloft in a Christmas vision.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Alan Cranston dies =
Senator in Scandal.
Jaybur with:
Mandelson's resignation =
And a minister's long nose!
Keith Lehman with:
Porn Downloader =
Poor Wonderland.
ID Letterman with:
Ashcroft's controversial nomination =
Rash conversation lost confirmation.
ID Letterman with:
Separation of church and state =
"Faith!", rants sorehead occupant.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Dramatic pre-election budgetary tax cuts are promised for all the nation's pensioners by this spring. =
Old ones are cynical Tony Blair's hard targets. Funds their support - expects to be Prime Minister again.
Tom Myers with:
American Actor Ray Walston Dies =
Consider Martian castaway role.
Tom Myers with:
Doctor Harold Shipman =
Had scam on. Horrid plot!
Tom Myers with:
Bush's Presidential Inauguration =
Into abusing ale, D.U.I. arrest. Punish!
Tom Myers with:
Linda Tripp gets fired =
Tip: girlfriends taped.
Rick Rothstein with:
El Salvador hit by an earthquake =
Ask death toll? Ah! A brave enquiry.
Rick Rothstein with:
Ashcroft's nomination "spin" =
This confirmation's no snap!
1st - Keith Lehman with:
She's on the rag =
No shags there!
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Autoerotic asphyxiation =
I act out sex. No air? Oh, a pity.
3rd - Mick Tully with:
An enormous penis ~
amuses one in porn.
David Bourke with:
Sexual attraction =
A tit, a cunt, oral sex.
Crash Davis with:
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances of having a date on Saturday night. --Woody Allen =
Say, you and Soon-Yi both get it in the bum? I'd leave anal sex to gay men.
Lay dad? Scar wife. I could hurl.
Art Day with:
A Monicagram =
No cigar, Ma'am.
Art Day with:
Silicone breast implants =
Ann's ample Bristol Cities.
David A. Green with:
Your nose pickings =
Pinky goes in. Scour!
David A. Green with:
Erotic nurse =
Intercourse!
Meyran Kraus with:
Snuff Video =
I'd off Venus.
Meyran Kraus with:
Pork Sausages =
Ass-gas or puke.
Tom Myers with:
Shares ~
her ass!
Tom Myers with:
An enormous penis =
Semen in poor anus.
Tom Myers with:
Que sera, sera =
A queer's arse.
Tom Myers with:
Hearst Communications =
His aim? To romance cunts.
Tom Myers with:
Urinating, he goes limp, ~
peeing in a girl's mouth.
Graham Perkins with:
The American Actress Julia Roberts =
Her breasts merit ejaculation arcs.
Rick Rothstein with:
I'm a legs man =
Single mama.
Rick Rothstein with:
Prostate cancer =
Crap! Not as erect.
Rick Rothstein with:
Elegance, it is such junk =
She's leaking cunt juice.
Rick Rothstein with:
Marriage counselors =
Our orgasms? Real nice!
Mick Tully with:
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a flea? =
What a lousy idea! He figures, of two... an itchy cock!
Mick Tully with:
Manhole covers =
Removal chosen!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
So my friend, I have given you the ideas, information, materials
and opportunity to become financially independent.
=
A Nice Ode
Shit-I'm-Creepy Vermin-Food,
Please pal, I ain't in the mood.
Ads again?! Leave or find, nut,
My foot in yer ninny butt!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
School Girls... With No Panties =
Oo, Plain Girls With No Chests?
3rd - Larry Brash with:
NEED MONEY... FAST?? PLEASE READ THIS YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE
=
Fee? None? Oh, you nasty little spam-sender. Go ahead - shove
it!
David Bourke with:
I got a hole in one!!!
Don't pass this up... These young hot girls show all.
You won't believe it!
CLICK HERE
=
Hell, I went on this site, only to see Tiger Woods out pitching
a long heavy club up his arsehole, OK!
Larry Brash with:
BE A MILLIONAIRE LIKE OTHERS WITHIN A YEAR!!! =
Hi! A lie! A lie! Now, I'm irate! Shit! Nearly broke.
Larry Brash with:
I am a prefessional junk emailer =
Jap millionaire's fake username.
Dan Fortier with:
Backgrounds and Desktop themes =
Spam! BS? Don't care! Dodge the skunk!
Don P. Fortier with:
DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM
HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER =
Larry Brash's intent is to entice & to protect the unfettered
crap. They keep recurring to provide us with anagrams. (A lie?)
Don P. Fortier with:
Cool site: http://www.purluv.com =
Truth: View cow slot (plump cow).
Mick Tully with:
MIRACULOUS WEIGHT LOSS... ALMOST OVER NIGHT! =
Her wish: sell NG gratuitous loo vomit scam.
Brad Williams with:
Adult Site $2.95 for 1 Year. Don't Miss it!!! (rhpqiw@hotmail.com)
=
Quit Spam Mail in 12 Days - $95. F-word it!!! (rotter@shithole.com)
Brad Williams with:
Cool XXX Site $2.95 for 1 year... (tpythw@mindspring.com) =
Fix Worn, Spindly Chimp 2x$1.59... (rotter@sexygoat.com)
1st - Larry Brash with:
ARE YOU READY TO GET $40,000 IN 6 WEEKS WITH ONLY 6 BUCKS!!??
THIS IS REAL AND ITS UNBELIEVABLE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU CAN MAKE
IN SUCH A SHORT TIME
GIVE THIS A TRY...PLEASE READ THE STEPS... IF YOU LIKE MONEY AND
WANT TO GET RICH FAST... THIS REALLY WORKS YOU DONT HAVE MUCH
TO LOSE... BUT ALOT TO GAIN... I PROMICE
=
Yeah?
Bull!
This is how to really make money!
Attend the high school for 6 years.
Move to university for another 4 years.
Maybe with some postgraduate training (Ph.D.?)
Duly obtain a position.
Make $60,000 initially.
Work consistently, week in week out.
Budget.
Accumulate.
Thus, achieve success.
2nd - Crash Davis with:
Q*U`I-T S*M-O.K.I.N`G Now with L*I*F.E.S.I-G.N
http://www.smokefreelungs.com
Q*U`I-T S*M-O.K.I.N`G NO C.o.l*d T-u-r.k.e*y GRADUAL &
PAIN LESS
NO DRUGS - SAFE & NATURAL
YOU CAN Q*U`I-T FOREVER WITH L*I*F.E.S.I-G.N
The realistic way to kick the t`o.b.a.c*c.o h_a*b*i-t...gradually.
It's tough to Q*U`I-T. t`o.b.a.c*c.o addiction is a powerful h_a*b*i-t.
n.i.c`o.t.i*n*e is very addictive. Even if you want to Q*U`I-T,
it is a difficult h_a*b*i-t to break. We understand what you are
going through, and we know how to help.
L*I*F.E.S.I-G.N offers real hope for smokers, dippers or chewers who want to Q*U`I-T. Gradually. Easily. And for good!
If you want a real program, that can break you c.i.g.a*r`e.t.t.e h_a*b*i-t
THIS IS WORTH A READ
http://www.smokefreelungs.com
=
Do you love having a ciggie or two? Do you love inhaling the Christmas-like taste of a nice menthol? Closing your eyes, imagining you're the Marlboro Man?
But with prices quickly rising out of control, what are we to do, quit?
No! We came up with a breakthrough idea. Quick-dried for rolling, and tasty!
Surf to http://www.quick-dried-feces.org
Wait... the best thing? It's free! Free! You can pick up a week's worth in no time at any park!
What is as nifty as watching Fido squat, aim, and download a hot, fresh butt-full all over a lawn? It's you, puffing a nice, big doo-bie after, that's what!
OK, OK, it sounds gross, but wow! It's frugal!
All reports are at http://www.quick-dried-feces.org
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The site will answer these questions:
What if my broker does not understand this?
How is this different from any other trading system?
How successful is this program?
What does it cost to subscribe?
What do I get for my money?
What if my broker does not want to learn this method?
Can you explain how you calculate these numbers?
=
Six best queries this odd, shitty site of moronic mom-suckers
ignored:
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why are gas-station bathrooms bolted? Do they fear someone'll
clean them?
Why don't cows shrink when it rains?
Can't 'phonetic' be spelled that way?
Why term it *life* insurance?
Why do you goat-butts-stuffers nitwits fume me so?!
David Bourke with:
Fresh Sexy Teens
ARE YOU AN ADULT?
If not, delete this message now!
If you're up for young (barely legal) teens wearing nothing but a smile, check this out....
CLICK HERE
=
Are you into a toothless, one-eyed, moulting, awful slimy fish-gussetted O.A.P. wearing a cheesy bathrobe, eh?
CLICK HERE FREE:
sexline.net/truelust/grannyfucking
Larry Brash with:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN???? I THOUGH OUR KING WAS HOWARD STERN OR BILL
CLINTON.
AT LEAST WITH THOSE TWO GUYS AS KING I COULD WAKE UP TO A STEADY SUPPLY OF PUTANG EVERY MORNING ON THE TV.
OR DO YOU HAVE A BETTER KING IN MIND?
MAYBE YOU?
=
Oh, tut tut! A bloody idiot post by some yelling cunt, from www.vomit.net, who has no idea about newsgroups, let alone invading alt.anagrams. Hurry, take a hike, you dick-wanking duvet-hog. Your type annoys this here group.
Don P. Fortier with:
A ganar dinerito facil.5 pts por mensaje recibido
Si quieres ganar dinero facil por recibir mensajes y leerlos, esta es tu oportunidad. Entra en esta dirección y date de alta, con poco que hagas podras ganar 50000 pst al mes.
http://www.es-facil.com/ganar/alta?Id=62964833
=
Clods said that in just 35 days (3,045,000 seconds), one could quite easily earn $296.86 reading e-mail. Nice to see SPAM propagated across an international border. A jet can lose baggage and airmail; electronic ripoffs are far easier!
http://www.ripacrapspreader.cómo?/quit
1st - Richard Brodie with: [Job 2:3]
And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant
Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an
upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still
he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against
him, to destroy him without cause.
=
If one's a marked man, and God has you in his sights, just throw
in the towel and give it up, because nothing that you'd ever do
can stop his course from it: from the death and the torture and
the harm and the maiming and all the vile hell that he has in
store. It's thy test to teach thee. Handle it!
2nd - Larry Brash with:
As boringly and tediously expected, the previous, and other posts,
anti-Gates: *rave*, on PC? (i.e. mentally ill)
= Netscape Navigator (strangely......)
as we have yawned at so often on "anal arts mag"
= alt.(dreary) anagrams for the cretinous. Anal fixation, the
lowest form of human life.
Is there an adult on this group? or anyone who has learnt to control
their bowels?
Strangely, Brodie ="I *bored*"......Richard G = "Rich *drag*" (! the latter, certainly true)
=
Relax!
Cybercougar - what he's called is a "troll"
A troll is a boring idiot who invades an alt newsgroup. The aim is fomenting anger, horror, and pure fear. They love to abuse regulars with their off-topic posts and arrogant rants. They haunt, rave maniacally and drone on; they deliberately start nasty flame wars, and generally act complete and utter arseholes.
This one's no exception.
Give this goofy retard no attention.
3rd - Dan Fortier with:
The
Russian National Anthem
David Bourke with:
There was
an old woman who lived in a shoe
Larry Brash with:
Well, I
don't care if it rains or freezes
Crash Davis with:
Well, I believe in the soul. The cock. The pussy. The small of
a woman's back. The hangin' curveball. High fiber. Good scotch.
That the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated
crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there
ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing astroturf and
the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core
pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than
Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses
that last three days.
--Crash Davis in "Bull Durham"
=
Net people, who'll anagram this epic scene? (It's a lulu!)
Well, I (fondly) stole the name of the man, thus it's owed to the writer to go for it. Though it's going to be hell, if I do, I'll feel pretty good. (Getting almost halfway through here, and I've saved several vowels.) The clever, bright, direct scene is about the purpose of the essential characters: Crash Davis (Kevin Costner (Hell, but didn't he suck in The Postman?)), veteran catcher; Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), veteran temptress; Ebbie "Nuke" LaLoosh (Tim Robbins), boneheaded newbie guy.
--Crash Davis in "alt.anagrams"
Crash Davis with:
Reply
to Citizens of Wilmington
Don P. Fortier with: [The Ghost of Shakespeare's opinion of the current deplorable state of alt.anagrams]
O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
=
O, that this too, too stolid alt. has smelt
Gone raw and devolved itself into the loo.
If fresh Out-gassing we had nix'd
That real stench should falter. (Go, wind, go!)
Keith Lehman with:
A recent article in TIME states that new drugs will soon be manufactured
based on knowledge of DNA. =
Well-being could accelerate Frankenstein debate. Awesome? Downright
disastrous? A damn TNT fount!
Brad Williams with:
"Did you hear that President Nixon ('e wore wig) went to
the film Deep Throat ten times?" =
"No, why?"
"He tried to memorise the entire flix; punter said he wanted
to get it down Pat."
1st - Jaybur with:
General George Smith Patton =
Germans gotta go! I repel then!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
William Henry Gates ~
is a wealthy gremlin.
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Correspondent Christiane Amanpour =
Human corpses and reporter in action.
David Bourke with:
Peter Stringfellow =
"Let's grope new flirt!"
David Bourke with:
Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor =
H.R.H. - Prince with large ears. (Dug polo, sir).
Larry Brash with:
Actress Brigitte Bardot =
Bitter cats & dogs arbiter.
Crash Davis with:
John Jacob Lehman =
Oh, JJ. Belch an' moan.
Richard Grantham with:
Littler Bush =
Bullshitter!
Ernesto Guiraldes with: [A dermatologist colleague]
Francis Palisson-Etcharren =
French can't learn psoriasis.
Husband and Wife with:
Neelie Smit-Kroes =
Let emission, reek.
Jaybur with:
The Grim Reaper =
Prime gatherer.
Jaybur with:
Sir Tom Courtenay =
I'm one rusty actor.
Meyran Kraus with:
Robert Downey Junior =
Joint (or downer) buyer!
Tom Myers with:
Rap artist Eminem =
Mainstream tripe.
Rick Rothstein with:
Solomon The Wise =
How emotionless.
Rick Rothstein with:
Actress Calista Flockhart =
Flat chest... slick as a carrot.
Rick Rothstein with:
Michael McKernan =
Manlier man? Check?
Rick Rothstein with:
Oscar-winning actress Kim Basinger =
Nice breasts win orgasmic rankings.
Rick Rothstein with:
Peter Stringfellow =
Felt prone, wet girls.
1st - Husband and Wife with:
Miss Congeniality =
My giant silicones!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The National Gallery =
Hail only elegant art.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Family Planning Association =
I'm on pill; a fanatic's saying "NO!"
David Bourke with:
Honda Gold Wing =
No dawdling Hog.
David Bourke with:
Huntingdon Life Sciences =
Hound gene-fitness clinic.
Meyran Kraus with:
Miss Universe =
Venus is me, sir!
Meyran Kraus with:
The British Monarchy =
Rich history? Ban them!
Keith Lehman with:
The Oral Office =
Heroic oaf left.
Keith Lehman with:
Latter-Day Saint =
Started a litany.
ID Letterman with:
The Baltimore Ravens =
Brave talent... Heroism.
Tom Myers with:
Mount Olive Pickles =
Stockpile in volume.
Mick Tully with:
The British Monarchy =
Rich birth, hast money.
Mick Tully with:
The National Gallery =
Hang early oil talent.
Mick Tully with:
Use tube, or the trams? =
The Routemaster bus!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Let's look at some of the top-grossing cinematic features in the USA: =
'Titanic': The film gets cute as Rose lets go of one Romeo at a sunk ship...
'Forrest Gump': So, a nice stooge, a *fool*, is the luckiest man in the state?!
'Home Alone': Nice tot gets (then uses) gifts - mutilates a pair of crooks!
'The Lion King': Animators use computer tool-sets; see 'Cat Fights a Foe'.
'E.T.': Focus on a cute alien's task to go "Phone Home". I stress it - great film!
2nd - David Bourke with:
Just five of the greatest and most influential axemen ever known, in my humble personal (and biased) opinion: =
1. Jimi Hendrix. A funky mean soul'n'blues man. Died of breathing (own) vomit. Vast, insane talent. Stone Free, people!
2. Brian May. Was in one fine band. Def Leppard, Extreme, even Mott just love him! Sung like shit. So, a final tune? No, no!
3. Eddie Van Halen. Extremely fast king of inverse-twin-hand tap. But one memorable solo, in 'Jump!'...fine sustain, no?
4. Pete Townshend. Deaf. Maximum (ie: most noisy) R'n'B / real ennui. Band fave? - 'Join Together'. Vast, full pink nose. ("A line?")
5. Nigel Tufnel. (Of Spinal Tap). Very fast. The bonehead's mission? - Banjo turned onto maximum din. (ie: "eleven"). Wanker.
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER =
Larry Brash's intent is to entice & to protect the unfettered crap. They keep recurring to provide us with anagrams. (A lie?)
So we need to probe harder, investigate the irritating & unrepentant poster (a chore!) I rather suspect crafty Mick Tully!
On the other hand, couldn't Mey Kraus possibly create & reprise transparent farce without getting erratic, repetitive? =
California student Ben Yackley reiterates that recent mad & pretentious "report" crap? Proving he's the writer is tough.
True poet David Bourke preparing a reluctant & tragic confession: he wrote the trite perennial trash. "My shitty secret."
Richard Brodie threatening to turn up a terrifying Psalms tract to stop these cute & cheeky Revelations we air. (Repent!)
Ms. Burholt & Art appreciate their inclusion here, pretending to take pride at such near-witty travesty. "Forget encores!"
Larry Brash with:
What famous Russian novelist can be found on the top row of a dirty PC keyboard? =
Viola! Bon! Oh, Dusty F key. For now, that's one bad compacted pun of a Russian writer.
Rancor! Farce! Now, it must be Fyodor Dostoyevski. Whoa, that's one painful bad pun.
Richard Brodie with:
[In response to Richard Grantham's "The LITTLER BUSH is obviously a BULLSHITTER":]
If you were an American, you'd no doubt be a Democrat (TRUST BILL,
EH?) Being a Republican myself (and thus one of the HURT BILL
SET) I strongly resent you attacking the LITTLE SHRUB with such
a shameless LIBEL THRUST! It really HURTS I'LL BET. He's a very
sensitive little teetotaler. A merciless jab like this could really
destroy the BRITTLE LUSH.
Richard Brodie with:
Pricey astronomical dotcom valuations =
Can't invest too capriciously: Alarm! Doom!
I'm avaricious, to do rotten company calls.
Accounts spiral to calamity. No more! Void!
O man! poor calculation destroys a victim.
Virtual money, and so microscopic a total!
Monitor cycles, man, so avoid capital rout.
So, a moral: my civil occupation, not trades!
Richard Brodie with:
Hassidic criminals' pardon buys Hillary votes =
This sin by "valid" holy ransom cards, is peculiar.
Clintons display abusive charismas horridly.
Ha! a dishonest poll rivalry is absurd cynicism.
She's in amid scholars by dirty villainous crap.
Sordidly in chambers? This sly avaricious plan!
My! in depravity's dishonor, Bill is such a rascal.
Lady slips in by other various scandals "I'm rich!"
Land's in chair, victorious by sharp, slimy deals.
A pushy bitch's old man is ordinarily crass evil.
So, historically criminal VIP's husband's ready.
Crass salvo diminish her days' ration, publicly?
End this viciously criminal broad's rash plays!
Keith Lehman with:
Bucket of Chicken =
Cock been hit? Fuck!
Fuck hen. Bite cock.
Beckon fuck ethic.
Been to fuck chick?
Fuck one chick? Bet!
ID Letterman with:
Separation of church and state =
"Faith!", rants sorehead occupant.
Honor faith! Reduce Satan's pact!
Janet Muggeridge with:
Watching a man's ridiculous expression =
Spasm in sac is ardour exulting. How nice.
XL urine unit now spasms - discharge. Ciao!
Romantic, awe-inspiring? Sod such - sexual!
Romantic? Weird sexual gasp in cushions.
Screwing's sexual union. Idiot has cramp.
Carnal passion? U grow six inches. Tedium.
Climaxes - cushion stains and/or wipe rug.
Sweeping ardour. Climax stains cushion.
Wins a rude grope. Climax stains cushion.
Climax stains rug. Is a row. One is punched.
Us wish orgasms in a car: I explode in cunt.
Orgasms: I explode in cunts. I incur a wash.
Cunnilingus - aromatic sex? Show despair.
Amorous chewing in sex lips as cunt arid.
Damp cunt hair: gracious! - low in sexiness.
Saw six long armpit hairs. Union, succeed!
'E was anxious - children coming upstairs.
We anxious as children coming upstairs.
Augur a row: six inch penis, sod claims ten.
Gas explosion in meat. Wind rush circa us.
"Seduction" is "sprawling sex-maniac hour".
Whip sex organ in manure locus. Sadistic!
I whip sex organ in cunt. A so cruel sadism.
Cunnilingus sex par a masochist weirdo.
Sex amiss. Wind us up at gonorrhea clinic.
Screwing had promiscuous anal sex in it.
Promiscuous anal sex as nice ring width.
Anxious 'cos male cur's hiding penis wart.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Taking back your unwanted Christmas present =
Scorn aunt's knitted humpback sweater in gray.
Thank you, Marks and Spencer, but tragic it's new.
Tug bra on. Curt: "Knew it. Yes, and Marks isn't cheap."
Tom Myers with:
Grounds for the dissolution of marriage =
A sordid thing - amorous girls of fourteen!
I hired sluts for rude goings-on, a farm too!
Fart emissions, odor of rot, rude laughing.
Tom Myers with:
Seminal fluid =
Fluid in males.
Maiden is full!
Anus: I'm filled.
Am full inside.
Aim - fill nudes.
Graham Perkins with:
Grounds for the dissolution of marriage =
O, refusing to orgasm hours after dildo in?
Gross four-a-side loud farting in the room.
Adoring her maid, or refusing to floss out.
Oo! Rooting in daughter's ass for rude film!
Stuffing our dog's arse in arid hotel room.
Rick Rothstein with:
Popeye the Sailor Man =
One eye? Patrol mishap.
People at sea? I'm horny!
Ahoy! Eat more nipples.
Yo, Semen! A happier lot.
Mate a sloppy heroine.
Rick Rothstein with:
Dolphins are space aliens =
Cheap silliness on parade.
Alas, cheer plain dopiness.
Recall a phase in dopiness.
Rick Rothstein with:
The prophecies of Nostradamus =
Forecasts hide upon metaphors.
Doom? True? His forecasts happen.
Spout minor forecast? He had ESP.
Poor hints? He made up forecasts.
Person forecasted thou mishap.
1st - David Bourke with:
Decomposing
Composers
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Hello everyone and welcome to this anagram. As the more perceptive
of you must by now have noticed, it's quite an odd little 'gram
indeed - and for a number of reasons of note. For starters it
uses just about every letter, the sole exception being Z - shit,
now I'll need to include this as well. (Fuck a duck, it's so irritating
when this happens.) Anyhow, this little pangrammatic anagram (or
should this instead read "an anagrammatic pangram"?
I won't harp on it 'cause it'd expend the Ms and As much too swiftly)
is most notable not for this, nor its unusual self-referential
nature, but for a complete dearth of equals signs. They *are*
here, but in a striking, bizarre and even nonsensical twist I
decided to hide the lot and I'm not gonna say where. It's not
a lie: people will just have to discover where they are themselves,
and good luck to you - I have not made it that simple. Darn it,
joins aren't even at beginnings of *words* let alone sentences,
so added ingenuity is called for. To help all you poor amateur
dolts, though, I can now divulge that the exact number of times
my letter stack rolls up here is prime - rather hewing down the
quantity of potential answers. But even now the size of your task
is considerable, 'cos in a rare act of harsh sadism I made this
damned anagram's letter total exactly two thousand, three hundred
and ten (which I am sure you will all soon recognize as the product
of two, three, five, seven and eleven). So rash messing about
with the factors just won't be of any use, I'm so terribly sad
to tell. (I *am* an irritating damn bitch, ain't I?) No, instead
I advise you all to hunt for queer-seeming assortments (along
the lines of peter piper picked a peck of pickled fuck I'm running
out of Ps) where a sudden jump in a letter's frequency hints that
a gap exists in that area - dividing a load between two halves,
so that neither set's letter distribution sustains sizeable harm.
Indeed, chances are you're spot on - yet even now the margin for
error's too immense for that plan to be any good, sadly. Well
well, in total it seems I've made locating a solution much too
hard a chore... alas, it's not. Now that I examine it there's
still one slight flaw: because it's a pangram (and most likely
to run to only one of each infrequent letter per set) one should
just count Zs with a program or even by hand, and divide away
by that amount. Shit, it's so simple even a newt or a graphic
designer could do it... I should've considered that one before
I started, fuck it. Well, so much for the anagram's entire premise
- and, alas, its end now draws near. Thanks so much for reading
it all, everyone - it's been amazing fun to do, and I hope you
all enjoyed it.
Shit, I've uncovered this bunch of extra letters I must have
missed before. Man, this isn't good news... I can tell it's too
many to secrete properly around the rest, alas - but there still
isn't quite enough there to start a complete new paragraph, so
I am fucked if I can tell what I'm gonna do wi
Click here to see the solution
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Several treatments of a pair of acrostic poems,
one by Carroll to a friend and one by Poe's ill wife to her husband.
Richard Brodie with:
The
same pair of acrostic poems, made into anagrams of each other.
Richard Brodie with:
[A pair of quatrains from Edward Fitzgerald's translation of the
Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám.]
Lo!
some we loved, the loveliest and best
Oh,
Thou, who Man of baser Earth didst make
David Bourke with:
In
The Navy
David Bourke with:
Advance
Australia Fair
Crash Davis with:
Hi, folks. "This Is Spinal Tap" amuses. It's a very
light, fake documentary by Rob Reiner. As he helps tell this humble
tale, we see England's Loudest Band's tour, while we giggle at
the crew.
=
Michael McKean as David St. Hubbins, the lead singer, who lets
his groupy wife pull a Yoko after the weaselly agent sells out
their best album art design. There's where Nigel splits.
=
Christopher Guest plays Nigel Tufnel. He's the killer lead guitarist
whose bad-ass amps go to eleven. Why? Because louder means better.
He likes writing ballads with filthy names.
=
Harry Shearer is Derek Smalls; a blunt, wigged-out bass player
with ugly mutton-chop sideburns. When the Stonehenge stage piece
fails, he modifies all the elves' walks a little bit.
Don P. Fortier with:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief.
=
Unsoft, what tightly doth a dark sphincter take?
It is at least injurious, a go in us, son.
A high-aired bum will feel entry and swoon -
Who heeds a risk with unveiled briefs?
Don P. Fortier with:
To
be, or not to be: that is the question