Hamlet, III, i, 56-60

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?

Is a befitting quote from one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies. But why won't Hamlet's inspiring motto toss our stubborn hero's tortuous battle for life, on one hand, and death, on another?

Hamlet, II, ii, 323-328

What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason!
How infinite in faculty!
In form and moving how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel!
In apprehension how like a god!
The beauty of the world!
The paragon of animals!

Hamlet, in a Shakespearean masterpiece, wonders about humankind. "Wow! Excellent one-off brain. Wow! Clever, deity-like in animation! Whoa! Top organism in a raffish Earth! Good, holy, non-plain. No fib? Ah! No! Hiding a whooping flaw."

On the Twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a milking,
Seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtledoves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

I've anagrammed:
Twenty-three assorted birds (no wrens),
Seventeen attractive, if slim, young women (all giggling virgins),
Twenty-three amplified musicians ("The Mime Prodigies"),
Ten lavish upper-class gentlemen (all mad springing freaks),
Five pure gold rings for a hand (no lead),
And even eight cows (real mixed-up herd).

The Merchant of Venice, IV, i, 184-186

The quality of mercy is not strained,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath.

The quote from the Bard's "The Merchant of Venice".
Portia's entreating: "Hey! Listen up, I appeal; end thy loan."

Julius Caesar, II, ii, 32-33

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.

We bet the Bard hinted that Caesar's famed life ends very soon out in Act Three. A motive?

Julius Caesar, III, ii, 79-80

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

A pronouncement in Rome's forum: Tony says, "You listen here! Bar democratic admirers!"

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Immaculate and pregnant? Horror! She's deluded about her abdominal mass. Whose fetus? From where? Your Jewish boyfriend's flesh got you in the family way, not Mr Ghost! That HRT tale of hers don't fool us.

The first verse of a song by Ed Rush and George Cromarty.

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations
We will travel every nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I'm an evil Australian psychiatrist and I just love rousing, blasphemous songs. Abhorrent to God, I fear I'll fry in Hell with the Devil, creating jolly cranial ditties, for free, at: www.lazy-lard-arses.com

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