Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2001
1st - Mick Tully with:
Designated driver =
Danger is diverted.
2nd - Lardy Girl with:
Fairy tales ~
are falsity.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Sending a wrapped present =
P.S. We need paper and string.
David Bourke with:
The fear of going to the dentist =
Heed: Oft a sign of rotting teeth.
Larry Brash with:
The used car salesman =
Then a dealer scams us.
Joe Fathallah with:
Terrorist =
Rotter, sir!
Joe Fathallah with:
Atheist =
He's a tit.
Richard Grantham with:
The automatic teller machines =
I'm a cash-out centre all the time.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
One-night stand =
Ends at nothing.
Adrian Hickford with:
Olden days =
Sadly done.
Adrian Hickford with:
A false grin =
Fear signal.
Adrian Hickford with:
Parliamentary debate =
Lame-brained tea-party.
Jaybur with:
Pedestrian crossing =
Steps in road... cringes!
Jaybur with:
Checkout operator =
To reach our pocket!
Jaybur with:
The soup of the day =
They heat up foods.
Meyran Kraus with:
Body-shaping =
Banish 'podgy'!
Meyran Kraus with:
Our violent ~
revolution.
Meyran Kraus with:
A Man's Home Is His Castle? =
This is a macho maleness.
Meyran Kraus with:
A bed-time story =
Read, tot is by me.
Meyran Kraus with:
Disposable diapers =
Bed soils disappear.
Allan Morley with:
Painting the town red =
Partied on, night went.
Allan Morley with:
Discount stores =
So it's under cost.
Tom Myers with:
Amusing anecdote ~
means acid tongue.
Tom Myers with:
No official administers ~
classified information.
Tom Myers with:
A crackpot feels ~
a lack of respect.
Tom Myers with:
Arrived at home =
Have to -- married.
Tom Myers with:
If loving's real, ~
all is forgiven.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Violets =
It's love!
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
NOM in general category =
Nice "arrangementology"!
Santi Spadaro with:
I am a new user =
Semi-unaware.
Mick Tully with:
Animal Rights' campaigners =
Rampaging anarchist slime.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
'The Lord of the Rings' by John Ronald Reuel Tolkien =
Thrilling nether-land journey of three old books.
2nd - David A. Green with:
The adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn =
Cheerful Mark Twain story: Tender boys have fun. End.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Blue Period of Picasso =
Oh, pictures of pale bodies.
Wayne Baisley with:
Bill Wyman's Rhythm Kings =
Shambling Wrinkly Myths.
Larry Brash with:
Why did the Lone Ranger have a partner? =
He wanted a very hard ignorant helper!
Joe Fathallah with:
Gameshow host Anne Robinson =
Oh, a boring nan who tosses men.
David A. Green with:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto: 'Hi Yo, Silver!' =
On, on they rode together: villains ran.
David A. Green with:
Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Thirty-Nine Steps' =
He directs, then, that nice short spy flick.
Jaybur with:
Author Miss Joanne Kathleen Rowling =
Hogwart's Journal: one name is the link.
1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Surrender of Talibans =
Arrest Bin Laden for us!
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Palestinian Authority =
Antipathy unto Israeli.
3rd - David Bourke with:
Connex South East to introduce toiletless trains =
Don't excrete, as this line's soon to cut out latrines.
Adrian Hickford with:
The Three Wise Men: Caspar, Balthazar and Melchior =
The Eastern Star-map ablaze... A child here! Crown him!
Thomas Hornikel with:
Tom Green to divorce Drew Barrymore =
Moron married gory bedcover wetter.
Jaybur with:
US Marines =
Arms in use.
Jaybur with:
The season of goodwill =
Oh, does allow one gifts!
Tom Myers with:
Osama bin Laden took to the hills =
He's a Taliban demon -- shoot to kill!
Tom Myers with:
It's that time of year =
It's the toy I am after.
Mick Tully with:
Sir Nigel Hawthorne =
I? Worn English heart.
1st - David Bourke with:
A wet snatch... ~
what a scent!
2nd - Mick Tully with:
Masturbation is healthy, ~
a horny habit stimulates!
3rd - Allan Morley with:
Anal intercourse =
Unions are rectal!
David Bourke with:
Stephanie Nicks ~
thickens a penis.
David Bourke with:
The singer Louise Redknapp ~
gets a plonker up inside her.
David Bourke with:
Thomas Giles Robinson =
"No blooming arses? Shit!"
Maurice Goddard with:
Sheer passion =
A horse's penis.
Adrian Hickford with:
Arsehole/rectums item =
A Celsius thermometer.
Adrian Hickford with:
Perfect woman =
Tampon-free W.C.
Meyran Kraus with:
The pillow biters =
Let this bowel rip!
Tom Myers with:
The root of all evil =
Hot fellatio lover.
Tom Myers with:
Girls eating semen =
Generating smiles.
Tom Myers with:
She is a blonde =
Asshole in bed.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Bullshit category =
Bush clearly got it!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mother of a 15 year old boy was cleaning and putting laundry
away when she came across a large brown paper bag that was suspiciously
buried beneath some clothes and a skateboard in the back of her
15-year-old son's closet. Nothing could have prepared her for
the shock she got when she opened the bag and found it was full
of cash; five dollar bills, twenties, fifties and hundreds - all
neatly rubber-banded in labeled piles.
"My first thought was that he had robbed a bank," says the 41-year-old woman, "There was over $71,000 dollars in that bag\'85.. that's more than my husband earns in a year." The woman immediately called her husband at the car dealership where he worked to tell him what she'd discovered. He came home right away and they drove together to the boy's school and picked him up. Little did they suspect that where the money came from was more shocking than actually finding it in the closet.
As it turns out, the boy had been sending out via E-mail on the Internet a type of 'chain-letter' to E-mail addresses that he got off of the Internet. Everyday after school for the past 2 months, he had been doing this right on his computer in his bedroom.
=
Two days later the parents recovered another bag labelled "Hot Chicks Get Hosed By Old Guys", with cheap photos and bootleg tapes. "Ah, Bobby's an adult!" his mother grinned, while his father reacted, "That's true, he's mature now. We all have fantasies, like, oh, deep anal fun with Thatcher."
The caring parents still defended him when he hacked into the phone company's mainframe and then into four city banks. "Well, calling him 'charlatan' or 'corruptive' is a bit harsh," the boy's mother remarked, "Nobody's perfect. He's no Unabomber... yet." "Oh, he's obviously grown up," his dad deduced, "Learning a vocation is a significant thing. He promised us he'd get off his butt and 'make money' and he sure did, down in his basement. Those notes were perfect, utterly identical to five and twenty dollar bills! What a craftsman."
After the boy ran an illegal pyramid scheme, a sour mob stormed the house. "Oh, what a lovely boy!" the mother was heard yelling in the riot as the angry mob smashed the front door, "Hundreds of fans line up to see him! What a great lad!!!" "Hey, at least he has a good taste," added the boy's dad as they were about to be lynched, "After all, those chicks *were* hot!"
2nd - Allan Morley with:
CONGRATULATIONS, morleyallan!!
You have been selected to receive FREE INSTALLATION of a Dish Network Satellite TV System! There is no equipment to buy. You can get FREE Professional Installation in two rooms from Dish Network! You can also choose to have a Personal Digital Video Recorder installed for free. (Retail value $499 if you had to buy this!)
=
CONGRATULATIONS, spammerodious!!
You've been selected to receive TOTALLY FREE INSTALLATION of
a loaded REVOLVER up your LEFT NOSTRIL! Liquefy that malodorous
nuisance of a brain in (at most) a SECOND with this stylish, affordable
shooter.
Go on! Ring within 4 years to manually receive a FREE poke in
the eye socket, tonsil or arse with a 99-volt needle!!!
3rd - Larry Brash with:
GET YOUR FREE LIFETIME VIP PASS
To the 9 best porn sites on the web
*Legal Nude Teens
*Gangbang models
*Hot Celeb News
*Orgy machine
*Teen Cummers
*Adult Flicks
*Puritan Sex
*BooB ranch
*Facial cumshots
JUST CLICK THE LINK TO GET YOUR
FREE HARDCORE ACCEESS
AND I'LL SEE YOU INSIDE ME BABY
Stacy
NEVER PAY one cent FOR PORN AGAIN
WARNING: This site contains explicit sexual material.
You must be 18 or older to proceed.
=
PERVERSIONS 'R' US
We'll connect you lot to these websites pandering to your sexual foible.
*Keen Boys and Girls cum out to play.
*Eating Faeces and Other Excrement.
*Dying for Necrophilia.
*189 Uses for Rubber, Dildoes, etc.
*Banging VERY Fat Chicks.
*Masochism is a Pain.
*Killing Gay Men in Toilets.
*Electrode Placement.
*Constipated? Accept an Enema.
*Semen Club.
*The Shoe as a Sexual Object.
*Frotteurs Rub Me The Right Way.
David Bourke with:
Everyone at school knows I love to swallow as much cum as I can.
One night at a party the guys from the football, basketball, baseball,
and hockey teams bet me that I couldn't suck off every guy on
their teams. I took them up on their bet, the guys all lined up,
and I sucked off everyone of them, and swallowed all of their
hot, thick loads!!! I saved the last hundred guys cum in a pitcher,
then downed the whole pitcher in front of them all, to show them
all who is the best cock sucker at our school!!! I loved it. Now
we plan to make this a weekly event at school. Here are some pics
to show you how much fun I had.
Lots of loads and love,
Tina
=
Oh look, half the business knows how I love to swig as much cum as I can, OK? However, at last night's concert ovation, all the guys in the band bet me that I couldn't hoover every last drop of spunk out of their most heavenly hard-ons. I was somewhat shocked, but, ah well, one couldn't refuse an offer like that, could one? I had soon lined them up, bollock-naked, by the drum riser area, removed my wig, and performed fellatio on them all. I swallowed all the hot cum that they shot until, awash, I was emptied out at the local hospital, who also cleaned sticky bits of yucky, cheesy cock-chaff out of the gaps between my teeth.
Love,
Elton
Maurice Goddard with:
"Be blessed with Good luck forever - guaranteed" =
Huge fake! God loves not bribed, lewd creatures.
1st - Larry Brash with:
Angram research
Single-Letter Retrieval Cues for Anagram Solution. (Statistical Data Included) KENNETH L. WITTE; JOEL S. FREUND.
Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2001 Heldref Publications
ABSTRACT. Anagram solution, as related to single-letter retrieval cues and first letter of the solution word (consonant or vowel), was examined. In Experiment 1, college-aged solvers were presented both types of 5-letter words and either the first letter of the solution word as a cue, or no cue. In Experiment 2, the effects of four types of retrieval cues (first, middle, or last letter or no cue) upon solving consonant-beginning words was examined. Finally, Experiment 3 examined the solution of both types of solution words as related to the preceding four types of retrieval cues. The results of all 3 experiments showed that a single letter can be an effective cue. For consonant-beginning words, the middle and last letters were as effective as the first letter. For vowel-beginning words, the first letter was more effective than either the middle or last letter. It was concluded that solvers select one letter of the anagram, typically a consonant, to serve as the first letter of the solution word, and then rear range the remaining letters.
=
I don't believe it!
We went to the trouble of doing this exciting postdoctoral research on anagrams, then when we sent it to alt.anagrams, I spelt the most important title word (anagram) wrong! A horrendous typo! How embarrassing!
Except the little regretful error, I still felt that the devotees of alt.anagrams would find it an exceptional article and, in effect, a good learning experience. I'm eager to read everyone's opinions. Feel free to tell us:
Larry Brash: "Now, which of you useless overeducated college
idiots wrote this moronic stuff?"
David Bourke: "Well, it'll need a ton of effing rude ones.
None? Then shove off, fat tosser!"
Richard Grantham: "Utter nonsense! Results of the all tests
contain errors."
Walter Newboldt: "i felt its terrific wonderful clever droll
stuff except i fell asleep reading it. Still need volunteers?"
Dan Fortier: "It's rotten, total crap, feces, etc. etc. etc."
Janet Burholt: "An extreme time waster. Never send any further
ones of these."
Ernesto Guiraldes: "It's academic claptrap. The worst test
I've seen; no contest."
D.A. Green: "Some ass fondler gave a grant to study this
over-rated excrement?"
M. Tully: "It's awful senseless shit! Expect very little
talent there!"
O. bin Laden: "Suffer, troll! 135,223,001 curses on the infidel!"
2nd - Allan Morley with:
On
the twelfth day of Christmas
3rd - Jaybur with:
Prince
Charles's modern English rewriting of Hamlet's soliloquy, 'To be, or not to be.'
Abacusapts with:
Fisher, German Blight, West Humber, East Humber, Thames, Dover,
Wight Portland, Plymouth, Biscay, South Finisterre, North Finisterre,
Sole, Lundy, Fastnet, Irish Sea, Shannon, Rockall, Malin, Hebrides,
Bailey, Fair Isle, Faeroes, South-East Iceland.
=
I buy her fresh fish?
BBC Radio Four Long Wave regularly broadcasts marine wind-strength & sea conditions from these areas for British ships, as Hull men fish to net hake and turbot.
"A tempest's imminent? I'll shelter the hull in lee."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
David Bourke with:
"It gives me great pleasure to present someone with an award
for bad sex. I usually present them with divorce papers."
=
...said Rolling Stone's tempestuous ex-wife. Can the wee pervert
have slipped a Mars Bar up inside HER great, roomy twat?
David Bourke with:
"Britain's
funniest joke"
Larry Brash with:
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about
and that is not being talked about. =
Gay Wilde hated to be thrown in that stinking gaol. He dies in
a hotel, lost, broken, beaten and burnt-out.
Paul Equinox Collins with:
Carnforth Station Trust's plans to turn the historic steam train
which featured as the Hogwarts Express in Harry Potter And The
Philosopher's Stone into a permanent tourist attraction have been
halted by Warner Bros, the studio behind the film. Peter Yates
has revealed to the BBC that he, "Rang Warner Bros and suggested
using the Potter train and renaming the platform 9 3/4,"
but they, "immediately said, 'No, if you try and use it in
any way we'll sue you.'"
=
"Touch that train and prepare for legal action, for it's
ours!" snapped Anna, a nasty, litigious US exec. "We
doubt that any nerdy little British trainspotter museum would
be able to spend more on a court case than one of the planet's
mightiest studios."
"Besides, we need that train. Every trendy shit-brat must
be aware that Harry Two, Harry Three, and Harry Nth - that's 'The
Nth Shitty Harry Movie' - are being filmed right now.
"Pressing on, then... the use of Napster..."
David A. Green with:
'The Adventures of Rupert, the Little Lost Bear' by Mary Tourtel
=
Her eternal theme strip about truly dull soft toy vertebrate.
Adrian Hickford with:
José Carreras, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti =
Jovial tenors parading. Occasion? Loud operatic drama.
Meyran Kraus with:
A
Nostradamus verse supposedly predicting the September 11 terrorist attacks.
1st - Larry Brash with:
The late George Harrison =
Singer: Altogether a hero.
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Louis Armstrong =
Rumor: sings a lot.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Artist Amedeo Modigliani =
I'd made oil into art images.
Joe Fathallah with:
Barry Ferguson =
Ruby of Rangers.
Maurice Goddard with:
Simen Agdestein =
I see mating ends!
David A. Green with:
The philanthropist Thomas Barnardo =
British patron homes that orphan lad.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Frances Dee =
Screen fade.
Adrian Hickford with:
Andrew Wiles =
Wield answer.
Meyran Kraus with:
Paul Verlaine =
Allure via pen.
Lardy Girl with:
Harry Titlow =
Trial-worthy!
Mick Tully with:
Senator Hillary Clinton =
NO oral interns, city hall!
1st - Jaybur with:
The Subaru Legacy =
Let's buy a HUGE car!
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Italy's Mafiosi =
So, it is a family.
eq.2nd - Tom Hornikel with:
Dateline NBC =
Bin Laden, etc.
David A. Green with:
William Tunstall-Pedoe's 'Crossword Maestro' =
Smartass tool: it will produce model answers.
Adrian Hickford with:
Heathrow Terminal Five =
Leave Earth from within.
Mick Tully with:
Christie's and Sotheby's =
The dirty bosses cash in!
Mick Tully with:
The National Health Service =
O, thrill! anaesthetic heaven!
Mick Tully with:
Orkney Skull Splitter =
Strikes plonker Tully!
Mick Tully with:
Tricon Global Restaurants Inc =
Aristocrats running Taco Bell?
1st - Richard Grantham with:
A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation of Une Sainte
en son auréole by Paul Verlaine, set to music which is itself an anagram of Gabriel Fauré's setting of the Verlaine.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
John
Keats: Ode on Melancholy
3rd - Matjaz Pihler with:
Words
don't come easy to me
David Bourke with:
Has
Anyone Ever Written Anything For You - Stevie Nicks
Richard Brodie with:
A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation of
one of Edward Fitzgerald's Latin translations of Omar Khayyám.
Paul Equinox Collins with:
W.B.
Yeats: When You Are Old
Paul Equinox Collins with:
Stopping
by Woods on a Snowy Evening
David A. Green with:
Hunger
by Ruth Sharman