Anagrammy Placegetters for December 1999

All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 1999 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE GENERAL CATEGORY

eq.1st - Larry Brash with:
I love cats. They taste just like chicken. =
I ate those juicy kittens? Heck! Call vets!

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Garbageman =
Bag manager.

3rd - Graham Perkins with:
The Sin of Adultery =
Try "head", it's fun. Ole!

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

eq.1st - Richard Grantham with:
Salvador Dali's 'The Persistence of Memory' =
Sparse olive rod and/or shy face: time melts.

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Robert Schumann =
Brahms' Nocturne.

3rd - Chuck Davis with:
Late Show with David Letterman =
Wave hard, handsome little twit!

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - David R. Conrad with:
'Twas the night before Christmas =
Ah, Christ, bet he wants more gifts.

eq.2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Muhammad Ali is the 'BBC Sports Personality of the Century' =
Formerly Cassius Clay, potent hitter bobs, I had mean thump.

eq.2nd - Timothy Wig with:
Year two thousand =
A date so unworthy.

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Roses are red
Violets are blue =
Beavers? I'd leer -
Arses rule, too!

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Aribu Publication Enterprises =
Lubricate penis. Put biro in arse.

eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"If you offered me a 69 this morning, I'd have been all over you."
Golfer SAM TORRANCE, BBC 2 =
Feel me come feverish if nibble at my sac, hard boner.
Tongue drool for your vagina.

eq.3rd - Earle Jones with:
Homosexuality =
O, oil my exhaust.

THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Get Paid to Surf the Web
Are you an Internet User?
Do you realize how valuable you are?
AllAdvantage.com does, and they will pay you to surf the Web!
Visit www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=HKZ936 and join today.
No need to change your browser, email address, or Internet service provider. Just surf and earn.
Want More?
How about getting paid when your friends surf?
And their friends?
And THEIR friends?
Through the AllAdvantage.com referral program you can earn even more, a LOT more.
Join Now!
Use the referral ID# HKZ936 only once when you sign up.
It's TOTALLY FREE. It's TOTALLY PRIVATE. And SO SIMPLE!
For more information visit: www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=HKZ936

Are you in a rut? Dead bored? Or just a sadarse? Read on and learn...
I've found a great new way to party while YOU pay an arm and a leg to visit shite websites! It's easy, cheap (for me) and almost completely legal! Do you ever get anything from me? No! All just $399 down!
Puzzled? Here's my plan:
While you are off surfing, I will visit your house and FUCK YOUR GRANDMOTHER! That's right! And her arse, hard! The dear old bat won't know WHAT'S hit her rear end!
And for a dazzling encore, I'll root two or 3 guinea pigs! I've been fondling a Cavia porcellus ever since '93. Just try not to vomit at the view of me arse-fucking a poor rodent!

For more information:
www.fondle_a_nun's_beaver/weirdpervert/#666

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
* BARELY LEGAL TEEN SLUTS
* LIVE SEX WITH SOUND
* OVER SIX THOUSAND VIDEO FEEDS
* UNLIMITED FREE VIDEO SEX
* HARDCORE CELEBRITY PICS
* TENS OF 1000s OF FREE HARDCORE PICTURES
THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD'S BEST PORN SITE !!
YOU WANT IT ..... WE GOT IT .... ALL HERE - E V E R Y T H I N G !!
WE SURE HOPE YOU ARE CUMMING TO SEE US!
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS CLICK!!
http://www.freeyellow.com/members6/deplace1/index.html

* VIOLATION OF INNOCENT GIRLS
* EXCRUCIATING SCREAMS
* DIRTY MOVIES
* LOVELESS INTERCOURSE
* UNREAL VIPs FUCK
* EXTREMELY CHEAP PHOTOS
To low-duty buttholes:
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
The world will be better if you didn't exist:
Where I read my messages without 161,000 lists...
Where Spam is beef...
Where children experience life, not torture...
Where twits get offed and go with god...
Where there is peace.

3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Dear friend:
Please to Free Sex Links if you are over 21. There almost updata everyday. A lot of adult pictures wait for you to download. I will settle any pazzle under 24 hours when that server arise mistake.

Dear Lazy Fat-Ass,

Dude, I've enrolled you in the next "How to Write a Real Letter" class, freakish spam-lover! Don't E-ver write me a word until you pass -- I.E.: a far off year like 2421, stupid putz!!
You're hated a ton, LOSER!!!

I've anagrammed:
Twenty-three assorted birds (no wrens),
Seventeen attractive, if slim, young women (all giggling virgins),
Twenty-three amplified musicians ("The Mime Prodigies"),
Ten lavish upper-class gentlemen (all mad springing freaks),
Five pure gold rings for a hand (no lead),
And even eight cows (real mixed-up herd).

eq.2nd - Richard Brodie with:
My son, eat thou honey, because it is good;
and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste.
=
Oh, you wish candy? Chew on this tasty goo made by bees.
Hesitate not, oh teeth; consume it!

eq.2nd - Linda Garrett with:
What is the answer to life the universe and everything? =
The Darwin Theory. (If ET's alien genes survive, what then?)

THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Elvis Aaron Presley =
Seen alive? Sorry, pal!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
American President John Fitzgerald Kennedy =
Crazy sniper named Lee ended JFK? No, ain't right.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Graeme Stirling =
Girlie garments.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
The Houses Of Parliament =
Top man here's a foul shite.

2nd - Will Quayle with:
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch =
Loony Gwill polling craggy Welsh town: froggy ally drag? blown chilly!

3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
The South Pole =
Use to help hot.

THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY

1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Penis enlargement =
Pleasing men enter.
Gel earn semen pint.
Leering, pant, "semen!"
Men, preen genitals.
Sneer, ample gent in.

2nd - Daniel F. Etter with:
I've got my period =
My pit! I've red goo!
Pity mood. Grieve.
Gory pee? I'd vomit!

3rd - Tom Myers with:
She's a looker =
Loose? Ask her!
Arse hole's OK.
Hooker's sale.
Sores heal OK.
OK, he's a loser.

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
No by Thomas Hood

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given

3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
To the Holy Spirit