Anagrammy Placegetters for June 2001
All the highly-placed anagrams from the June 2001 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Wayne Baisley with:
I am mentally disturbed =
Tell my Martian buddies!
eq.2nd - Phil Carmody with:
Primitive languages =
I give a sample - I grunt.
eq.2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Two bricks short of a load =
Thick as two floorboards.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Royal Shakespeare Company =
One may appear there as Shylock.
2nd - David A. Green with:
Robert Louis Stevenson's 'The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde' =
Tense, edgy horror story. Subject: honest man's dark, evil-laden self.
3rd - Wayne Baisley with: [Trance band]
Infected Mushroom =
Techno For Dummies.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Tom Myers with:
Blair wins the election =
The liberal won - it's nice!
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Wimbledon Tennis Championship =
Henman's time: he'd lob, chip, spin to win.
3rd - David Bourke with:
Conservative =
Voters cave in.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Ladies' underpanties =
Splendid arse, Auntie!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Frontal nudity =
Flaunt tiny rod.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Unseen, I saw her twat, a seeping scab... ~
because she wasn't wearing panties.
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
!!!!--SPECIAL OFFER TOTALLY FREE PASS--!!!! !!!!
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The Nude Britney Site! - As seen and heard on the Howard Stern
Show.
Click Here -- http://celebphotos.pokeadot.com
Watch Britney dance topless on stage while partying with friends at a New York Night Club!
See Unbelievable Shocking early modeling shots thought to of been destroyed, photos and home videos of Britney Spears.
No way is she a virgin! Check out her infamous nipple slip video!
See her forbidden tits upclose and personal! They're real!
We have gone to great lengths to bring you the hottest content
possible!
Stolen, blackmarket, candid, up skirt, nipple slip, xxx home videos,
and more of Britney Spears and all your favorite celebrities are
our specialty. We pay out over $100,000 a month just to photographers
to provide us with the freshest content of the sexiest celebrities
on the net. Don't miss out on this special FREE offer! Get your
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Click Here -- http://celebphotos.pokeadot.com
THIS FREE OFFER IS VALID FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY.
=
!!!!--SPECIAL OFFER TOTALLY FREE PASS--!!!! !!!!
----LIMITED OFFER ACT NOW ----!!!!
The Ann Widdecombe Naked Virgin Site!
Seen on BBC News At Ten!!!
Click Here -- http://celebphotos.hideous-old-battleaxe.com
She was offered (at a pretty conservative estimate) $100,000 to keep herself covered up, to no avail!
- Watch her topless at the Tory Party Conference!
(She's possibly got her knockers, but she's OK!)
- See her in her top five hot sexy X-rated new horror videos!:
'Something Of The Night' (starring Michael Howard)
'Shriller'
'Pent-Up Widdecombe's Erection Night Fever'
'Doris Karloff Stops To Show Off Her Unspoiled Kent'
'The Gargantuan Gargoyle Of Westminster'
- Just see her pretty crooked teeth biting into poor Michael Portillo!
- Be bossed about, lectured-to on 'values', patronised (potty opinions on dope), then play-whipped into submission by her, in the virtual-reality 'Monster Of Maidstone' game!
- Buy the 'Auntie Annie' shiny pudding-bowl hairpiece!
Yes, yes, yes! Don't wait another second... Ann's still waiting!!!!
Click Here -- http://celebphotos.hideous-old-battleaxe.com
(PS: THIS FREE OFFER IS FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY).
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Thousands have enlarged their penis 3-5 inches in only weeks using
Kl Maximum.
Our Penis Enlargement program has been medically proven, safe, and natural method of penis enlargement which can be done in the privacy of your own home in a short period of time.
FINALLY!!! No Pumps, No Surgery, No Chemicals, No Pills to take! No Harsh Stimulants, No Medications or Supplements. This is 100% all natural!! These are a series of developmental routines you do yourself with our instructions and are tested, and proven effective.
Over 175,000 Satisfied Customers! Laboratory Tested 100% Safe Guaranteed Results **You will Receive a Full Refund if Results are not Achieved!!!***
Using Our Techniques You Will Learn: How to please your Lover, Last longer In Bed, And Of course Enlarge your penis in inches AND thickness in just 2 weeks!
=
Here is how we do it.
Come to our offices, enrol, undress.
Our 1000 staff have a big laugh at your useless puny penis.
We secure you into our patented Penis Lengthening Machine with you lying, helpless, face down, your small piddler's dangling limply towards the ground. A 20,000 pound mass is evenly tied to your microscopic piece of manhood, You're raised off the ground until that miserable phallus starts to stretch.
Soon, you're the proud owner of a real 13 -15 inch sensual love stick, a real lean machine. It seems darned impressive.
OK, it hurt quite a bit at first, but after only several hours (57), the sensual penile nerves are permanently stuffed in a terminal manner. No more pain occurs.
Alas, it has no function, none. Fuck all. Sex is a never never. No hardons, none, not even wanking. Semenless, jism deliveries are killed.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
SWEET VJESTIKA APHRODISIA DROPS (tm) TANTRA PLEASURE SACRAMENT
Indeed; a HeavenSent Treasure of Pleasure!!
To entice your Passion,
To intrigue your Desire,
Enchantment's Rapture;
Sweet Vjestika Fire....
SWEET VJESTIKA APHRODISIA DROPS EXTRAVAGANTLY INSPIRES AND ENHANCES:
*Penile & clitoral sensitivity
*Sensitivity to touch
*Desire to touch
*Desire to be touched
*Fantasy
*Lust
*Rapture
*Erogenous sensitivity
*Uninhibitedness
*Sexual courageousness
*Sexual gentleness and ferocity
SWEET VJESTIKA APHRODISIA DROPS(tm)
*Prolongs and intensifies foreplay;
*Prolongs and intensifies orgasm / climax;
*Inspires body, mind, spirit orgasm / climax;
*Inspires and enhances body, mind, spirit communion betwixt lovers;
*Inspires and enhances the enchantment / glamourie of Love....
Sweet Vjestika is a Chimera Tantric proprietary glamourie / enchantment Fantasia Amalgamation for men and women, comprised of high ratio extracts derived from the following Herbs of Power which are master blended to emphasis extravaganza body, mind, spirit erogenous sensory awareness and gourmet carnal delight.
=
SPAMMERS' PISS-IN-A-CAN (RIP): NOW WITH EXTRA FELINE EXCREMENT!
Oh, man! Just sip it for some superior DeathBed Orgasm-Spasms!!
Sir, drop your Finesse!
Miss, don't be so Prissy!
For a real gross Surprise
Just drink Something Pissy!
SPAMMERS' PISS-IN-A-CAN INSPIRES:
*Toe deformity
*Red urine
*Heavy wheezing
*Foot-ache
*Regurgitation
*Testicle swelling
*The bent feeling of outrageous love towards Chevy Chase
*The rotten taste of death
*Excruciating pain
*Your expiring and our rejoicing
*Net-serenity regeneration
PISS-IN-A-CAN IS ALSO:
*Vitamin-free
*Unsweetened
*Vital for a hit-job or a personal vendetta
*Environmentally friendly
*Available in pink!
Piss-in-a-can is the latest from Kraus Spam Termination Co., the same that introduced the Web Wanker's Spider Egg and the E-mail Cretin's Deadly Donut. It contains eighteen rare germs, dangerous sedatives AND awesome laxatives, natural murderers as viper venom, strychnine and poison-oak sap and chemical toxins as arsenic trioxide! Don't be tentative! Just push the cap and have a blast, and recommend it to your friends so you low spam-idiots will cease to exist.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Mike Keith with:
When
I consider every thing that grows
2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Twelve Signs of the Zodiac: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer,
Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius,
and Pisces.
=
Astrologer crews' idiotic crisis advice is amazing! Each star's
arrival brings us, eight percent of a population, a unique course?
3rd - David Bourke with:
The Surgeon General Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous
to Your Health. =
See! Go on! Suck more shit into your lungs, get asthma, and at
the end, die right here. Real great!
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
The Norwegian artist Edvard Munch =
Driven toward The (haunting) Scream.
2nd - Maurice Goddard with:
The Astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus =
Topic arouses. Earth 'n' moon circle sun.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Rowan Sebastian Atkinson =
Bean soon ranks as a nitwit.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The Gregorian calendar =
Change error, align date.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The Battle of Hastings =
Not the best fight, alas.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Diet Pepsi Cola =
It's acid, people!
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Accident-proneness - Psychopathological Theory. Mythology or reality?
W. K. Dunbar (1900-59) found that 500 people who had more than one work accident were more likely, statistically, to experience another one than those who never had accidents. Other early research, with outmoded methodology, showed why some people are more prone toward this than others (D. W. Wood, 1930).
Tom Woulf looked at why the "accident-prone person" often was foolhardy, impulsive, drawn to adventure, thrill seeking and excitement. Woulf proved that "he is often in search of immediate pleasure, and was rarely able to postpone gratification".... "He does not know how to look ahead, follow a plan and often harbours projection or strong resentment against authority figures" (Woulf, 1950). This rebellion, one response to strict upbringing in mid-childhood, is "likely to stem from punitive parenting, too" (Don Poweth, 1990): "He grows up being thwarted, unable to tolerate discipline, not even when that self-discipline is required for one's own safety". His inner rules and failed self-control provoke him to "a powerful fight-flight reaction" (Woulf).
Many studies (P. Meek; B. Welpe; V. Mupa; L. Hoi) with a badly designed methodology, demonstrated that most, if not all, accidents are unconsciously intended. In other words, many of these accidents were "undoubtedly a form of acting out" (Meek). The most frequent underlying negative motive might be "guilt, a death-wish or guilt-related self-punitive rage" (Woulf) The physical injury, psychological suffering, low mood, general discomfort and inconvenience, brought about by the accident, are experienced as punishment and will relieve the guilt feeling, at least temporarily (D. B. Wooten, 1923). That type of defence may be interpreted as the primary gain. The secondary gain may be the need to avoid responsibility or work, to be looked after, to obtain money or profit, or just to get attention from other people.
Woulf and Wood both recommended psychotherapy as the preferred treatment method, but, as yet, there is no good thoughtful study to confirm the benefit of these attempts.
=
My insurance company asked me for more information regarding my work related accident claim. This was my response:
"I can explain why I put down 'poor planning' as the main cause of my accident.
I was working on the top of a 190-foot tower. I had just completed my work, when I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of assorted tools. Rather than carry all of them back down by hand, I decided to lower these items using a pulley. Securing a rope at ground level, I went to the very top of the tower and then loaded the tools into a small barrow. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in question 19 of the accident report that I weigh 159 pounds.
Due to my complete surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 95-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. I regained my presence of mind and I was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in question 19.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 95-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. That encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools, so only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 190 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope..."
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Ernie
Eats Cookies In Bed
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The
Land of Nod
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