Anagrammy Placegetters for February 2003
All the highly-placed anagrams from the February 2003 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Solve a crime =
I am so clever.
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Darwin's theory of evolution =
To win, you fed on other rivals.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Remains hot ~
in a Thermos.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
Leonardo da Vinci, "The Last Supper" =
Have Lord and apostles in picture.
eq.2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Spectators =
A sport sect.
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Gilbert and Sullivan's "Yeomen of the Guard" =
All raving old Beefeaters hum & sing on duty.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
The Stop the War alliance =
Let this weapon-race halt.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
'The Station' club, Rhode Island =
Locals burned to death in this.
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Shuttle disaster =
The US is startled.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A cheap motel =
Place to...*ahem*.
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Prosthetic breast implants =
I'm the best (plastic) porn star.
eq.2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Man + penis + Viagra =
Sperm in a vagina.
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
M. Caine =
Cinema.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
George Walker Bush, President of America =
Help urge a big war, for I seek a second term.
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Mad sadist? =
It's Saddam!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - David A. Green with:
The Sword Swallowers Association International =
Wince as I lower it... Alas, sore throat and tonsils now!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Salvation Army =
Heal my starvation.
eq.3rd - Tony L. with:
Internal Revenue Service =
I never return even a slice.
eq.3rd - Paul Pan with:
United States of America =
Atomic tests are fun idea!
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Allan Morley with:
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask) =
Wise textbook does analyse every awkward thing about a fun way to rut.
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
We believe in One Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of the Father. =
For He chose his Twelve able friends to listen on the journey.
3rd - Matjaz Pihler with:
Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, Montenegro, and Macedonia =
A menace, as a Slavic band is bordering on one another. A migraine zone to avoid.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
One Splendid Demonstration of ESP
1. Pick a number from 1 to 10.
2. Multiply it by 9. Add the digits of the result together. Subtract 5.
3. Assign a letter to the answer you have (A=one, B=two, etc).
4. Think of a country that begins with this letter.
5. Think of an animal that begins with the second letter of the country.
6. What's a colour associated with the animal?
7. That's odd... see, there are no grey elephants in Denmark!
=
A Lesson In Fear
1. Repeat stages 1-3 in the trick above.
2. Think of the name of a cute bird that starts with that letter.
3. Imagine the snappy sound it makes. Go on.
4. Obtain the first letter of that sound. Think about a country which ends with the letter.
5. Try to dwell on the global menace its cold, sadistic leader presents.
6. Then, drift your hate towards the camel-humping demons...
7. Honey, you're now a bigot.
2nd - Allan Morley with:
To a Terrorist
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
From http://www.voy.com/fowner.html:
"VoyForums is planning a scheduled downtime within the next few days. The downtime is for the purpose of upgrading the VoyForums software to the newest version. We expect the downtime to last hours, and may be prolonged to ensure a clean upgrade."
So if you can't get through, try again in a few hours or the next day. With luck, the delay won't be long enough to cause major disruption.
=
What an outrageous announcement! What overblown hogwash! They're going to withdraw the opportunity to post up my mixture of exceedingly dreadful, overweeningly wretched, filthy ass-powered anagrams for a few exceptional moments? I'm dumbfounded! How are we to function or survive without the system? Just how? It's shocking. You offhandedly suggest post-postponement henceforth. Well, I'd rather not!
Adrian
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Shakespeare's 117th sonnet anagrammed into three less-than-serious poetic renditions of famous texts by the bard.
2nd - David Bourke with:
The Friendly Letter E
3rd - Larry Brash with:
INTRODUCTION: l am Mrs. Eki Omorodion l know this proposal will come to you as a surprise because we have not met before either physically or through correspondence. I have no doubt in your ability to handle this proposal involving huge sum of money.
THE SUBJECT: MY HUSBAND CHIEF JOSEPH OMORODION (Now Late) was the Royal Head of my Community, JESSE (an oil rich town) in Nigeria. My late husband's community produces 3.5% of the total crude oil production in Nigeria and 0.5% of the Dollar value of each barrel is paid to my husband as royalty by the Federal Government.
My husband was also the Chairman of OMPADEC, Jesse branch. In his position as the Royal head and Chairman of the OMPADEC, Jesse branch, he made some money which he left for me and our children as the only thing to inherit. The money is Twelve Million US Dollars ($12M).
Though this said fund accumulated between the period 1976-1998. Due to poor banking system in Nigeria and political instability as a result of past Military rules (1985-1999), he deposited this Money in a Strong Room/safe with an open beneficiary in Apex Bank of Nigeria pending when he would finish arrangement to transfer it abroad as a CONTRACT PAYMENT. He was planning this when he died late last year of Heart Attack.
THE PROPOSAL: Just before my husband died he called my attention to the money and charged me to look for a foreigner who would assist me in the transfer / investment of the funds abroad. So l would be very grateful if you could accept to help me archieve this great objective.
I promise to give you 20% of the total funds transferred to your vital bank account as compensation for your assistance. Five percent (5%) would be set aside to take care of all expenses we may incure during the transaction. To indicate your interest, contact me urgently and confidentially for more information and the roles you will play in this business. All the legal information concerning this Money will be sent to you as soon as we agree together.
Send your reply through this mail box, or see the note below
Yours faithfully, MRS. Eki Omorodion.
N.B I will like you to provide me immediately with your full names, telephone and fax numbers to enable my eldest son Whyte Omorodion to contact you. He shall handle this transaction from A-Z on behalf of the family. Alternatively you can call him on his telephone numbers 234-1-7761459, 873-762-533-730, fax 873-762-533-731. Ask him for the code and he shall respond GOODLUCK before discussion. Just to be sure that you are speaking to him.
=
Dear Mrs Omorodion,
Thank you for your polite email. I'm sorry to hear about the sudden and unexpected death of your husband. I extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I'm sure that your noble husband was a phenomenal man and I'd also feel that he would be proud of this humane project, too.
To me, it's sad to see how many black African leaders are murdered or die under suspicious circumstances each year, judging from the large number of these emails that are sent by their widows, remaining family members, and little children, hoping to relocate their funds in a safe place overseas. My heart goes out to those who lose dear ones in such a way.
Occasionally I also have noticed that there are many top Nigerian government officials who misjudged their budgets, to have been in that spot, predominantly by "over-invoicing", and who are keen to share their good fortune with smart people overseas. In short, such generosity amazes me. However, it concerns me that transfer of such vast sums of money may injure the economy of your countries in Africa. Still, I suppose they know what they're doing. No doubt, many international investors will excitedly pool millions in funds into your country to balance this, such is the trust that they would have of the integrity of the unimpeachable Nigerian Government and a handful of capable businessmen controlling the boom's potential profit.
I download many emails from capable Nigerian lawyers and dedicated councillors spending many hours looking for family members of deceased white foreigners, again to possibly share the wealth left behind. I had to sadly reject their offers, as I was not actually related to the deceased. In my judgement, it would seem dishonest of me to exploit the solicitor's human mistake. We're all guilty of the occasional foolish booboo.
Luckily, the Nigerian nation has come up a long way since the violent years of abhorrent British and European white colonial control. In my opinion, it appears that the population of your land has put the problems behind them, so I'm hoping that the national outlook is all optimism.
If you've no objection, please send my money, exactly one billion dollars, as bullion, small bills or as a check payable to a worthy charity, namely the "Foundation for Underprivileged Children of Kenya - Overseas Food Fund", better known by the acronym "F.U.C.K. - O.F.F.", of which I'm just the humble president.
Thanks
Larry Brash
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