Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2004

All the highly-placed anagrams from the March 2004 Anagrammy Awards.

[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"So, would you like to go up to my flat for some coffee?" =
"To follow, I must see you offer a *good* ploy to fuck me."

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
Female impersonator =
Poofter remains male.

3rd - JNC with:
Women's menstrual cycles =
So, men screw a smelly cunt!

THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Famous director Steven Spielberg =
Genius observer created top films.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The broadcaster and writer Alistair Cooke =
Work abroad (across the Atlantic); retire; die.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The director Mel Gibson =
Begin to remodel Christ.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Collection of Tragedies by William Shakespeare =
Weepy as I detail crises of Othello, Macbeth, King Lear...

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
England and America are two countries separated by the same language. =
Many can declare, "A sole, meager tongue wedges Britain and the USA apart."

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
McDonald's to phase out the "Supersize" fries and drinks =
That one franchise's zeroed in to address plump US kids.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
INTERNATIONAL LOTTO.

Sir/Madam,

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International program. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number 7696-645 with serial number 377-554 drew lucky numbers 7-14-6-18-31-45 which won in the 2nd category, you have been approved for a lump sum pay out of 6,000,000 (EUROS )
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

For security purposes, we advise that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

You are requested to contact our office to assist you with the claim and transfer of your winnings fund into your instructed account by acknowledging the receipt of this mail with the email address below.

internetlotto@netscape.net

Note that, all winnings must be claimed not later than two month starting from today, failure to respond to this mail before two months time from today, all unclaimed funds will be null and void.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs Mary Gillian.

=

Dear Madam,

Thank you for letting me know the wonderful news. It's terribly generous - a miraculous windfall of great fruitfulness!

Now, to put it bluntly, I didn't realise that I was even entered in a lottery. Finally, I now understand one of the numerous benefits of my email address being collected by spam robots.

Up until now, I believed what happened was that I would receive 6,600,000 emails a day on my computer, telling me how to instantly enlarge my narrow penis AND my breasts (at the same time); to help 16,500 deposed former Nigerian presidents and their families get $156,456,000 into my bank account; to buy Viagra, Valium and 777,390 other ridiculous drugs; a reminder when to vote in those notoriously criminal monthly Anagrammy Awards (03/2004); to download a virus from Microsoft (in error); and 1,824.000 other untruthful "Enter Now!" promotions, like 3457 illegal copies of anagram software.

I'm most circumspect about this type of crap. I empty it into the trash.

I can see that your Lotto is quite foolproof and there is no way that you could con me. Your corporation's strict protocols appear to be structured and conducted in a correct manner, and truthful above suspicion.

I'll send you my account details tomorrow, if you would send me a little cash advance first.

Larry Brash

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
(snippet from the FDA website)

Wireless telephones are hand-held phones with built-in antennas, often called cell, mobile, or PCS phones. These phones are popular with callers because they can be carried easily from place to place.

Wireless telephones are two-way radios. When you talk into a wireless telephone, it picks up your voice and converts the sound to radiofrequency energy (or radio waves). The radio waves travel through the air until they reach a receiver at a nearby base station. The base station then sends your call through the telephone network until it reaches the person you are calling.

=

(A late word of advice for the several naive dupes eager to use their new cell phone: Please be aware that you will usually conduct hundreds of calls quite like this one:)

Person A: Hello, Eric?
Person B: Hey, Warren? Is that you?
Person A: Hello? Eric, are you there?
Person B: I can't hear you very well. Get the antenna open.
Person A: It IS open. Wait- (moves nine feet to the left) Is this better?
Person B: Hello? Can you hear me?
Person A: Hardly. What the hell is that eerie static crud?! I hate this stupid device!
Person B: Calm down, Warren. Check the screen.
Person A: Alright, hang on.
Person B: What does it say?
Person A: It says low batte- {click}

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Anthem for Doomed Youth, by Wilfred Owen

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

eq.1st - Richard Grantham with:
[A quintuply-true anagram. The following two sets of element abbreviations are "equal" in several different ways - no prizes for guessing the first:]

H Li B Al Si P S Ar Ti Cr Mn Cu Ga Br Rb Zr Mo Tc Cd In Sn Te Ba La Ce Nd Eu Er Tm Yb Hf Ta Re Os Au Hg Pb Po Rn Pa Np Cm Bk Cf Md Rf Sg Hs Ds
=
He Be C F Ne Na Cl Ca Sc Co Ni Zn Ge As Kr Sr Nb Ru Rh Pd Ag Sb I Cs Pr Pm Sm Gd Tb Dy Ho Ir Pt Tl Bi At Fr Ra Ac U Pu Am Es Fm No Lr Db Bh Mt

[The second is also fairly well-worn territory by now: atomic numbers on each side add up to the same number.]

H₁ + Li₃ + B₅ + Al₁₃ + Si₁₄ + P₁₅ + S₁₆ + Ar₁₈ + Ti₂₂ + Cr₂₄ + Mn₂₅ + Cu₂₉ + Ga₃₁ + Br₃₅ + Rb₃₇ + Zr₄₀ + Mo₄₂ + Tc₄₃ + Cd₄₈ + In₄₉ + Sn₅₀ + Te₅₂ + Ba₅₆ + La₅₇ + Ce₅₈ + Nd₆₀ + Eu₆₃ + Er₆₈ + Tm₆₉ + Yb₇₀ + Hf₇₂ + Ta₇₃ + Re₇₅ + Os₇₆ + Au₇₉ + Hg₈₀ + Pb₈₂ + Po₈₄ + Rn₈₆ + Pa₉₁ + Np₉₃ + Cm₉₆ + Bk₉₇ + Cf₉₈ + Md₁₀₁ + Rf₁₀₄ + Sg₁₀₆ + Hs₁₀₈ + Ds₁₁₀
=
He₂ + Be₄ + C₆ + F₉ + Ne₁₀ + Na₁₁ + Cl₁₇ + Ca₂₀ + Sc₂₁ + Co₂₇ + Ni₂₈ + Zn₃₀ + Ge₃₂ + As₃₃ + Kr₃₆ + Sr₃₈ + Nb₄₁ + Ru₄₄ + Rh₄₅ + Pd₄₆ + Ag₄₇ + Sb₅₁ + I₅₃ + Cs₅₅ + Pr₅₉ + Pm₆₁ + Sm₆₂ + Gd₆₄ + Tb₆₅ + Dy₆₆ + Ho₆₇ + Ir₇₇ + Pt₇₈ + Tl₈₁ + Bi₈₃ + At₈₅ + Fr₈₇ + Ra₈₈ + Ac₈₉ + U₉₂ + Pu₉₄ + Am₉₅ + Es₉₉ + Fm₁₀₀ + No₁₀₂ + Lr₁₀₃ + Db₁₀₅ + Bh₁₀₇ + Mt₁₀₉

1 + 3 + 5 + 13 + 14 + 15 + 16 + 18 + 22 + 24 + 25 + 29 + 31 + 35 + 37 + 40 + 42 + 43 + 48 + 49 + 50 + 52 + 56 + 57 + 58 + 60 + 63 + 68 + 69 + 70 + 72 + 73 + 75 + 76 + 79 + 80 + 82 + 84 + 86 + 91 + 93 + 96 + 97 + 98 + 101 + 104 + 106 + 108 + 110
=
2 + 4 + 6 + 9 + 10 + 11 + 17 + 20 + 21 + 27 + 28 + 30 + 32 + 33 + 36 + 38 + 41 + 44 + 45 + 46 + 47 + 51 + 53 + 55 + 59 + 61 + 62 + 64 + 65 + 66 + 67 + 77 + 78 + 81 + 83 + 85 + 87 + 88 + 89 + 92 + 94 + 95 + 99 + 100 + 102 + 103 + 105 + 107 + 109
[= 2824]

[Thirdly, the digits of the above atomic numbers are also an anagram.]

1 3 5 1 3 1 4 1 5 1 6 1 8 2 2 2 4 2 5 2 9 3 1 3 5 3 7 4 0 4 2 4 3 4 8 4 9 5 0 5 2 5 6 5 7 5 8 6 0 6 3 6 8 6 9 7 0 7 2 7 3 7 5 7 6 7 9 8 0 8 2 8 4 8 6 9 1 9 3 9 6 9 7 9 8 1 0 1 1 0 4 1 0 6 1 0 8 1 1 0
=
2 4 6 9 1 0 1 1 1 7 2 0 2 1 2 7 2 8 3 0 3 2 3 3 3 6 3 8 4 1 4 4 4 5 4 6 4 7 5 1 5 3 5 5 5 9 6 1 6 2 6 4 6 5 6 6 6 7 7 7 7 8 8 1 8 3 8 5 8 7 8 8 8 9 9 2 9 4 9 5 9 9 1 0 0 1 0 2 1 0 3 1 0 5 1 0 7 1 0 9

[This is the largest possible set of element abbreviations that can possess the above properties, incidentally: 12 elements had to be dropped in order to make the total of every letter and digit an even number (thus able to be divided into two groups with identical letter and digit counts). Another set of the same size exists; I chose this one because it contains both the smallest (H) and largest officially named (Ds) elements.]

[Fourthly, it is possible to select an known isotope of each element such that the isotope numbers again add up. (Without going into too much detail, both for those who already know all this and for those whose heads are starting to spin, isotopes are different forms of an element - for instance, stable carbon-12 and radioactive carbon-14.) Each element with naturally-occurring isotopes is represented by its most common isotope (e.g. hydrogen-1 makes up 99.985% of hydrogen atoms), with one exception (⁹⁹Ru instead of ¹⁰²Ru); all other elements are represented by a known radioactive isotope, not necessarily the most common or stable.
The equivalence of both the atomic number sum and the isotope sum means that each group of isotopes below contains the same number of protons (2824) and the same number of neutrons (4078).]

¹H + ⁷Li + ¹¹B + ²⁷Al + ³²Si + ³¹P + ³²S + ⁴⁰Ar + ⁴⁸Ti + ⁵²Cr + ⁵⁵Mn + ⁶³Cu + ⁶⁹Ga + ⁷⁹Br + ⁸⁵Rb + ⁹⁰Zr + ⁹⁵Tc + ⁹⁸Mo + ¹¹⁴Cd + ¹¹³In + ¹²⁰Sn + ¹²⁶Te + ¹³⁸Ba + ¹³⁹La + ¹⁴⁰Ce + ¹⁴²Nd + ¹⁵³Eu + ¹⁶⁶Er + ¹⁶⁹Tm + ¹⁷⁴Yb + ¹⁸⁰Hf + ¹⁸¹Ta + ¹⁸⁵Re + ¹⁹²Os + ¹⁹⁷Au + ²⁰²Hg + ²⁰⁸Pb + ²⁰⁹Po + ²¹⁵Rn + ²³¹Pa + ²³⁴Np + ²⁴⁴Cm + ²⁴⁹Bk + ²⁵⁵Cf + ²⁵⁵Md + ²⁵⁵Rf + ²⁶⁵Sg + ²⁶⁴Hs + ²⁷²Ds
=
⁴He + ⁹Be + ¹²C + ¹⁹F + ²⁰Ne + ²³Na + ³⁵Cl + ⁴⁰Ca + ⁴⁵Sc + ⁵⁹Co + ⁵⁸Ni + ⁶⁴Zn + ⁷⁴Ge + ⁷⁵As + ⁸⁴Kr + ⁸⁸Sr + ⁹³Nb + ⁹⁹Ru + ¹⁰³Rh + ¹⁰⁶Pd + ¹⁰⁷Ag + ¹²¹Sb + ¹²⁷I + ¹³³Cs + ¹⁴¹Pr + ¹⁵¹Pm + ¹⁵²Sm + ¹⁵⁸Gd + ¹⁵⁹Tb + ¹⁶⁴Dy + ¹⁶⁵Ho + ¹⁹³Ir + ¹⁹⁵Pt + ²⁰⁵Tl + ²⁰⁹Bi + ²¹¹At + ²¹¹Fr + ²²⁷Ra + ²²⁸Ac + ²³⁸U + ²⁴⁶Pu + ²⁴³Am + ²⁴⁹Es + ²⁵¹Fm + ²⁵⁶No + ²⁵⁸Lr + ²⁶³Db + ²⁶⁰Bh + ²⁷¹Mt

1 + 7 + 11 + 27 + 32 + 31 + 32 + 40 + 48 + 52 + 55 + 63 + 69 + 79 + 85 + 90 + 95 + 98 + 114 + 113 + 120 + 126 + 138 + 139 + 140 + 142 + 153 + 166 + 169 + 174 + 180 + 181 + 185 + 192 + 197 + 202 + 208 + 209 + 215 + 231 + 234 + 244 + 249 + 255 + 255 + 255 + 265 + 264 + 272
=
4 + 9 + 12 + 19 + 20 + 23 + 35 + 40 + 45 + 59 + 58 + 64 + 74 + 75 + 84 + 88 + 93 + 99 + 103 + 106 + 107 + 121 + 127 + 133 + 141 + 151 + 152 + 158 + 159 + 164 + 165 + 193 + 195 + 205 + 209 + 211 + 211 + 227 + 228 + 238 + 246 + 243 + 249 + 251 + 256 + 258 + 263 + 260 + 271
[= 6902]

[Fifthly, the isotope sum is also a digit anagram. (This is why a two-digit isotope of Ru needed to be chosen in place of a three-digit one - otherwise there would have been an odd number of digits.)]

1 7 1 1 2 7 3 2 3 1 3 2 4 0 4 8 5 2 5 5 6 3 6 9 7 9 8 5 9 0 9 5 9 8 1 1 4 1 1 3 1 2 0 1 2 6 1 3 8 1 3 9 1 4 0 1 4 2 1 5 3 1 6 6 1 6 9 1 7 4 1 8 0 1 8 1 1 8 5 1 9 2 1 9 7 2 0 2 2 0 8 2 0 9 2 1 5 2 3 1 2 3 4 2 4 4 2 4 9 2 5 5 2 5 5 2 5 5 2 6 5 2 6 4 2 7 2
=
4 9 1 2 1 9 2 0 2 3 3 5 4 0 4 5 5 9 5 8 6 4 7 4 7 5 8 4 8 8 9 3 9 9 1 0 3 1 0 6 1 0 7 1 2 1 1 2 7 1 3 3 1 4 1 1 5 1 1 5 2 1 5 8 1 5 9 1 6 4 1 6 5 1 9 3 1 9 5 2 0 5 2 0 9 2 1 1 2 1 1 2 2 7 2 2 8 2 3 8 2 4 6 2 4 3 2 4 9 2 5 1 2 5 6 2 5 8 2 6 3 2 6 0 2 7 1

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[I saw fit to honor the Oscars, held a month ago, by extracting all 5 Best Picture nominees from the same base phrase. However, I couldn't ignore the Oscar's evil twin - The Golden Raspberry (or 'Razzie'), an award ceremony held 24 hours before the Oscars which dishonored the *worst* of 2003 cinema... The winners are at the bottom of each set.]

A list of the five films that are Academy Awards nominees in the Best Picture category: =
A feisty MASTER AND COMMANDER gives life to the rich tale of the wisest captain Aubrey.
Why, I see Murray's bit as a cheap-act made the gifted LOST IN TRANSLATION more effective.
MYSTIC RIVER's genuine performances deal with that base idea of the state of calamity.
View SEABISCUIT, my imperfect-yet-fine racehorse that ran to fame, against all the odds.
A massive LORD OF THE RINGS finale piece, sated with beauty, came first at that ceremony.

A list of the five films nominated for the joke-award Golden Raspberry in the Worst Picture category: =
Big, tragic Dr. Seuss rip-off CAT IN THE HAT transformed that loopy feline we love into a mere rowdy jerk.
Another CHARLIE'S ANGELS trifle provided brisk joy of trampy women for the target audience of twits.
At parts of FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, even the best 'American Idol' fan grew tired of its weird choreography.
The MTV-style THE REAL CANCUN joined the merry parties of Spring Break for raw footage of wild idiots.
Reporters' reviews of our winner GIGLI say that the attempt of Ben Affleck and J-Lo at comedy is horrid.

[Also, to make these a bit more appealing, the above anagram sets were shaped as the actual symbols of these award shows:]

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
[A quintuply-true anagram. The following is a list of Kentucky Derby winners, along with the year they raced and their winning time (times are rounded to whole minutes and seconds):]

2003 Funny Cide 2:01
1992 Lil E. Tee 2:03
1989 Sunday Silence 2:05
1976 Bold Forbes 2:01
1975 Foolish Pleasure 2:02
1952 Hill Gail 2:01
1951 Count Turf 2:02
1950 Middleground 2:01
1945 Hoop Jr. 2:07
1944 Pensive 2:04
1937 War Admiral 2:03
1935 Omaha 2:05
1927 Whiskery 2:06
1926 Bubbling Over 2:03
1916 George Smith 2:04
1909 Wintergreen 2:08
1895 Halma 2:37
1878 Day Star 2:37
=
2002 War Emblem 2:01
1999 Charismatic 2:03
1995 Thunder Gulch 2:01
1984 Swale 2:02
1978 Affirmed 2:01
1957 Iron Leige 2:02
1956 Needles 2:03
1955 Swaps 2:01
1947 Jet Pilot 2:06
1940 Gallahadion 2:05
1936 Bold Venture 2:03
1932 Burgoo King 2:05
1925 Flying Ebony 2:07
1921 Behave Yourself 2:04
1913 Donerail 2:04
1906 Sir Huon 2:08
1879 Lord Murphy 2:37
1875 Aristides 2:37

[(1) The horses' names in each group are an anagram of each other:]
Funny Cide + Lil E. Tee + Sunday Silence + Bold Forbes + Foolish Pleasure + Hill Gail + Count Turf + Middleground + Hoop Jr. + Pensive + War Admiral + Omaha + Whiskery + Bubbling Over + George Smith + Wintergreen + Halma + Day Star
=
War Emblem + Charismatic + Thunder Gulch + Swale + Affirmed + Iron Leige + Needles + Swaps + Jet Pilot + Gallahadion + Bold Venture + Burgoo King + Flying Ebony + Behave Yourself + Donerail + Sir Huon + Lord Murphy + Aristides

[(2) The years that the horses in each group raced are an anagram of each other:]
2003 + 1992 + 1989 + 1976 + 1975 + 1952 + 1951 + 1950 + 1945 + 1944 + 1937 + 1935 + 1927 + 1926 + 1916 + 1909 + 1895 + 1878
=
2002 + 1999 + 1995 + 1984 + 1978 + 1957 + 1956 + 1955 + 1947 + 1940 + 1936 + 1932 + 1925 + 1921 + 1913 + 1906 + 1879 + 1875

[(3) The years in each group add up to the same sum (a nice round number, in fact):]
2003 + 1992 + 1989 + 1976 + 1975 + 1952 + 1951 + 1950 + 1945 + 1944 + 1937 + 1935 + 1927 + 1926 + 1916 + 1909 + 1895 + 1878
=
2002 + 1999 + 1995 + 1984 + 1978 + 1957 + 1956 + 1955 + 1947 + 1940 + 1936 + 1932 + 1925 + 1921 + 1913 + 1906 + 1879 + 1875
[= 35000]

[(4) The times of the horses in each group are an anagram of each other:]
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:06 + 2:03 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37
=
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:06 + 2:05 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37

[(5) The horses in each group have the same total running time:]
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:06 + 2:03 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37
=
2:01 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:01 + 2:02 + 2:03 + 2:01 + 2:06 + 2:05 + 2:03 + 2:05 + 2:07 + 2:04 + 2:04 + 2:08 + 2:37 + 2:37
[= 38:10]

THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

This month's Challenge was to anagram
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

1st - David Bourke with:
That is *a* way...another's ammo through his chest!

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
I am hungry. Ah, that taste! She is worth a smooch.

3rd - Jaybur with:
A wise thought: tho' her anatomy has its charms.

[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]

Home	\| The Anagrammy Awards \| Enter the Forum \| Facebook \| The Team
Information	\| Awards Rules \| Forum FAQ \| Anagrams FAQ \| History \| Articles
Resources	\| Anagram Artist Software \| Generators \| On-line \| Books \| Websites
Archive	\| Winners \| Nominations \| Hall of Fame \| Anagrammasia \| Literary
Competition	\| Vote \| Current Nominations \| Leader Board \| Latest Results \| Old Results \| Rankings
Miscellaneous	\| Tribute Page \| Records \| Sitemap \| Search \| Anagram Checker \| Email Us \| Donate
Anagrammy Awards	© 1998-2024 Last updated 10th May, 2016

Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2004

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY