Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2004
All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2004 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Hans-Peter Reich with:
What is the square root of nine? =
THREE, for an equation shows it!
eq.2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Separation of church and state =
Sane courts don't preach a faith.
eq.2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
True lottery =
Try roulette!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - David A. Green with:
'Born Free: A Lioness of Two Worlds' by Joy Adamson =
Enjoy sober story of a woman's bond for wild Elsa.
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Steinway "Model A" Grand Piano =
We'd played a sonata in G minor.
eq.3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas =
Frigid airs came with same month.
eq.3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The notes in a scale: do re mi fa sol la ti do =
Soloists note familial chant: "Doe, a deer, ..."
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Alan Yoshioka with:
Sumatra =
Traumas.
2nd - David Bourke with:
The tsunami disaster =
Asians muttered "SHIT!"
eq.3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
A heartbeat away from the Presidency =
A part I'd fear: that Cheney may be worse.
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Second term of the Bush administration =
Mind if I doubt that chosen one's smarter?
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
General A. Pinochet =
Great Chilean? Nope.
2nd - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Angel of the Crimea =
Once using gentle care, for men in fragile health.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The fashion designer Pierre Cardin =
He inspired chains of trendier gear.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Beaches of Normandy =
Death on some French bay.
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
United States Marine Corps =
Sent in to capture sidearms.
3rd - View with:
The Promised Land =
A splendid mother.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
If it squirms, it's biology
If it stinks, it's chemistry
If it doesn't work, it's physics
And if you can't understand it, it's mathematics.
=
If it's wordy, it's English
If it's knotty, it's economics
If it squeaks, it's music
And if it's run by the Antichrist, dammit, it's sport day.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The RSPCA (The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) =
Oh, role's to protect a variety of species? Then I truly *can't* harm one fly!
3rd - Larry Brash with:
A terrible Indian Ocean tsunami hits Sumatra, and the Andaman and Nicobar islands, first, then Sri Lanka and the Maldives =
It inundates the vibrant sea-front Asian land, like Indonesia, Thailand and Burma, maims and massacres children that ran.
THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY
This month's Challenge was to create anagrams on a Christmas theme.
1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Christmas Greetings =
Grinch misses target.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Traditional Christmas Greetings ‡
I sign the card, mail it to strangers.
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
As the clock strikes Midnight on Christmas Eve =
He makes visit to cram the children's stockings.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
The Christmas Story from Luke, Chapter Two
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
On the twelfth day of Christmas
3rd - David Bourke with:
"...Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns. Oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest - no, the hand was cupping her entire right - Now! She must say 'No, Hoyt' and talk to him like a dog..."
"Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth. She tried to make her lips move in sync with his. The next thing she knew, Hoyt had put his hand sort of under her thigh and hoisted her leg up over his thigh. What was she to do? Was this the point she should say, 'Stop!'? No, she shouldn't put it that way. It would be much cooler to say, 'No, Hoyt,' in an even voice, the way you would talk to a dog that insists on begging at the table..."
"...moan moan moan moan moan..."
=
Throb! Oh, how erotic! Oh, how passionate! Oh, how hot! Oh, tosh! Utter tosh. Three astonishingly pathetic "highlights", thanks to the American author Tom Wolfe's
novel 'I Am Charlotte Simmons', the winner this year of the "Bad Sex In Fiction Awards", (behind it, London's 'The Literary Review'), the purpose of which is: "...to draw the attention to the crude, the tasteless, the often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it".
The New York-based author, then, wins champagne with that joke Oscar-style statuette thingumajiggy, although the bonking laughing-stock shall not receive them, as he has sheepishly declined his invitation to the winners ceremony night this month. "How thoughtless! Now he's the only one ever to do that", said a helpful spokesperson.
(Uh, by the way, that big, long, hard "O"-word, though, just meant "anything that's to do with the ear, the nose and the throat")
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
How The Grinch Stole Christmas!
2nd - Allan Morley with:
The Twelve Days of Christmas
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Paddy's Song (The Bricklayer's Lament)
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The airport security guard =
Stretch a digit up your rear.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The oldest profession =
Denotes hole's profits.
3rd - Joel Davey with:
Premature ejaculations =
Aaar! Molten juice erupts!
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