Anagrammy Placegetters for July 2006

All the highly-placed anagrams from the July 2006 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

eq1st - Tony Crafter with:
Zinedine Zidane gets a red card in the World Cup Final =
Italians win, French cried, and legend Zizou departed.

eq1st - Scott Gardner with:
Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam" =
Am on a ceiling of some cathedral.

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The immortal shower scene in Psycho =
She's in the motel, chap comes in. Worry!

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Sir Paul McCartney files for divorce from Heather =
Too-rich Liverpudlian's free from a crafty schemer!

eq2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Three Israeli soldiers are captured =
There's a prelude to a real dire crisis...

eq2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Israel attacks Lebanon =
One state can kill Arabs.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Leader of the British Labour Party =
Blair, the toady lap-terrier of Bush.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud =
Anguish? That's purely a dream's dysfunction.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Named His very best girl ~
The Blessed Virgin, Mary.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
"That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." Neil Armstrong =
Note an immortal phrase, spoken after gallant men's first moon-landing

2nd - David Bourke with:
Dan Quayle: "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change" =
A quote even fellow bonehead Dubya (a decided mercenary war-criminal terrormonger) couldn't have said better!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
'One Thousand Places to See Before You Die', an American guidebook for travellers written by Patricia Schultz =
Hey, it includes treasures to tour abroad, like Big Ben, Louvre, Tower of Pisa, Florence Cityscape and the Amazon!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
A middle-aged couple had two very beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son, so they decided they'd try one more time for the son they'd always wanted.

Then the wife got pregnant and nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy.

The happy father rushed to the hospital to see his new young son and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever set eyes on.

"There is no way I can be the father of this child. No sir!" he exclaimed. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I've fathered! Rosanne, have you been fooling around behind my back?"

His wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"

=

A married man had been having a wild affair with his pretty secretary.

One day they went to her house and made love all afternoon. Satiated, they fell asleep, but didn't wake till eight that night.

The man hurriedly dressed, then told his lover to take both his shoes outside and rub them in the dirty, wet grass. Then he put them on and set off home.

"Hey, where have you been?" said his tetchy wife.

"Oh, I won't lie to you," he replied po-faced. "Because, fact is, I've been to bed with my secretary and we had debauched sex all afternoon."

She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bugger! You've been out playing golf!"

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 'American Book Review' folks had honored the readers with a hundred hailed 1st lines in literature. Here's just a peek, then, at their top 10:

10. "I am an invisible man." (Invisible Man)
9. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair." (A Tale of Two Cities)
8. "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." (1984)
7. "riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs." (Finnegans Wake)
6. "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. (Anna Karenina)
5. "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." (Lolita)
4. "Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. (One Hundred Years of Solitude)
3. "A screaming comes across the sky." (Gravity's Rainbow)
2. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." (Pride and Prejudice)
1. "Call me Ishmael." (Moby Dick)

=

As I love to roam inconceivably vile fiction, I feel I am a bit guilty of being a vicious fan of illiteracy - so I offer you, if I may, a slice of it in my official list of 10 quite cataclysmic citations I obtained from a few (mostly trivial) books:

10. "All who knew Yas, knew Yas was freakin'." (Beyond The Known)
9. "She wanted to wrap her legs around him the way a tree wraps itself around a mountain." (Bodysmasher)
8. "Their jaws ground in feverish mutual mastication. Saliva and sweat. Sweat and saliva. There was a purposeful shedding of clothing." (The Stonebreakers)
7. "No! No! No! No! Oh, God in heaven! This cannot be!" (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
6. "Pin-stripes were erotic, the uniform of fathers, two-dimensional fathers. Even Mr. Hughes's penis had a seductive pin-striped foreskin." (Tread Softly)
5. "Her ears were filled with the sound of a soft but frantic gasping and it was some time before she identified it as her own." (Charlotte Gray)
4. "She made a noise somewhere between a beached seal and a police siren." (The Matter of the Heart)
3. "Shall I compare thee to a Sony Walkman? She is his own Toshiba, his dinky little JVC, his sweet Aiwa... Aiwa." (Kissing England)
2. "It was a dark and stormy night..." (Paul Clifford)
1. "She stuck to his prime grade-A tush like shrink-wrap to a rump roast." (Nobody Does It Better)

3rd - David Bourke with:
"If an infinite number of monkeys randomly hit the keys of an infinite number of typewriters, they would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare" =
If President Bush spoke for an infinite amount of time, would *even he* finally make perfect sense? For me, worth a try...yet pretty unlikely, IMHO...he's a drunken cowboy!

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Holy Tango of Literature.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Devil

3rd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
10 Countries Puzzle