Anagrammy Placegetters for November 2008

All the highly-placed anagrams from the November 2008 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
"Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In" =
Listen! "Hair" has unique tunes.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Vincent Van Gogh's 'A Cornfield with Cypresses' =
The fresh, convincing gold canvas, wispy trees.

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Pussy Galore =
Euro spy's gal.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
US presidential campaigns =
Pleasing stupid Americans.

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Americans' presidential election =
See McCain/Palin lose it and retire

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The new USA president-elect Barack Obama =
OK, we made a better case than Republicans.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Newcastle University =
Lectures invite yawns

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
The United States of America's Apollo Eleven Mission =
I see Neil, outside, voice "That's one small step for a man..."

3rd - Ed Pegg Jr with:
International Spy Museum =
A Russian employment unit

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Blonde to the supermarket manager on the telephone:
"I just bought a ten-pound turkey. How long do I cook it in the microwave?" ~
"Just a minute," the man remarked to the blonde, hoping to look it up.
"Wow! You've been a great help!!" cried the host, running to cook.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
"We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs." (Will Rogers) =
We narrowly learn when one wastes votes TWICE for a Bush, an utterly unintelligent man!

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Sir Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyle, "The Hound of the Baskervilles" =
A huge serial novel by Sherlock author, it is found in The Strand

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
The forty-fourth President of the United States of America, Barack Obama =
A brainy Democrat from the Senate is proud to take that office after Bush.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The forty-fourth President of the United States of America, Barack Obama =
The first to dare aim at YouTube fans, and first to reach them per Facebook.

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
The forty-fourth President of the United States of America, Barack Obama =
Be frank, that Democrat in a top office has made history, so a better future.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
A man and his wife are woken at 3 a.m. by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!'

He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asks his wife.

'Just some drunk asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it's pouring down out there!'

'Well, you've got a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself. Go and help him!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here on the swing,' replies the drunk.

=

The duty-sergeant answered the police station's telephone at 3.00 on a Sunday morning. The person on the other end sounded addled and slurred.

"I wanna report a sherioush theft, offisher. I have been robbed! Shum lousy crook has unlawfully broken into my car and has shumhow plundered my poshessions."

"Your possessions? What sort of possessions?" asked the sergeant.

"My shteering wheel, brakes, dashboard, gearshtick, windshcreen. The whole bloody lot hash been taken away! Outrageoush. eh?"

The sergeant humoured him for a few moments; assured him he understood and said that he would address the situation.

"Jesus! Bloody drunken goof, phoning up at 3.00 in the morning," he murmured wearily as he hung up.

3 minutes later, his phone rang again.

"Yes?" growled the now grumpy desk-sergeant.

"It'sh ok, you can shtop looking," said the same drunken voice. "I wish to withdraw all allegations. My mishtake. I got into the back seat!"

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
A depressed and lonely frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and asks what his future holds.

His Personal Psychic tells him, "Tomorrow you are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
~
The frog is thrilled. He shouts out, "Whoopee!! This is great! Thank you!"

"So, will I meet my wonderful beloved at a fount, a lake, a pond, or cosy lawn party?" he wonders.

"No, you will meet her in Biology Class," grunts the psychic, hanging up.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
THE NEW F*****G STOCK MARKET BUZZWORDS

BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing a f*****g investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET: A f*****g eighteen-month period when the f*****g kids get no allowance, the f*****g dear wife gets no jewelry & the f*****g husband unjustly gets no lay (f*****g sex!).

FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy whose f*****g phone has been quietly disconnected.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Your past year investor who's now locked up in the f*****g nuthouse.

MARKET CORRECTION: The f*****g day after you buy stocks. (Grrr!)

CASH FLOW: The movement your f*****g money makes as it disappears down the f*****g toilet.

YAHOO: What you scream after selling it to some f*****g poor sucker at a price of $240 per share. (Whew!)
~
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the f*****g sucker who bought YAHOO at $240 per share.

PROFIT: A most vintage term no f*****g longer in use.

CEO: [F*****g management] Chief Embezzlement Officer [See CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer]

P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors shitting in their pants as the f*****g market crashes.

STOCK ANALYST: The f*****g monkey who just downgraded your stock.

BROKER: What my f*****g asinine broker has made me.

VALUE INVESTING: The f*****g sadistic art of buying low AND selling lower!

STOCK SPLIT: A grim moment when the f*****g kinky ex-wife and a skunk lawyer-accountant manage to split your assets equally between themselves.

STANDARD & POOR: Your f*****g life in a nutshell. (Enough already.)

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
Phrase Shaper

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Sixteen Going On Seventeen

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Layla