Anagrammy Placegetters for July 2010
All the highly-placed anagrams from the July 2010 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Really bad eyesight =
Barely see daylight!
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The recreational nudist ~
is unclothed in a retreat.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Doleful evening ~
feeling unloved.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Paul the Prognosticating Octopus was right! =
Spain won a historic cup struggle. Go top that!
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Macbeth by William Shakespeare =
A witch bespeaks liberal mayhem
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Monsieur Edgar Degas =
So, regard nude images.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Gulf shoreline =
Oil's flung here.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Snooker player Alex 'Hurricane' Higgins dies =
As a sorry, hellraising king, he expired on cue.
eq3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
As oil paints our ~
Louisiana ports.
eq3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
BP failure not ~
unprofitable.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
The assassin Lee Harvey Oswald =
Analyses revealed shot was his.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The inventor, Elisha OTIS =
One hint: It's his ELEVATOR!
3rd - Rik Sengupta with:
Nixon: Let's watch. ~
Clinton: What, sex?
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Egyptian Pyramids =
A head-tipping mystery!
2nd - Rik Sengupta with:
St Helena: one reports ~
Napoleon rests there.
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Eternal manly recognition at ~
Arlington National Cemetery.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Kubler-Ross model, also known as the five stages of grief:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance.
=
Five stages of BP drilling:
1. Get bad rig
2. Wreck an ocean shore
3. Engineer half-assed solutions
4. Sack one man
5. Repeat.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
The Top Three Religions In The World Are:
1. Christianity,
2. Islam, and
3. Hinduism
=
Similar High Opiates:
1. Written Theism,
2. Enshrined Doctrine, and
3. Holy Ritual.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Help! I just heard that movie star George Clooney will be cast in a ~
major pic about Gary Glitter! One wit has called it, 'Oh, She's Eleven'.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
though all her parts be not in th' usual place,
she hath yet an anagram of a good face. =
Dashing, though has not
A partner or a pal -
Hence, a beau comes to
The half-faulty gal.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
though all her parts be not in th' usual place,
she hath yet an anagram of a good face.
=
Approaching an unfortunate lady: "Oh, has great legs! Oh Hell, shame about that face!"
3rd - Adie Pena with:
An unhappy large-eared Charles has often thought about that nose of hag Camilla: ~
"Though all her parts be not in th' usual place, She hath yet an anagram of a good face."
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
A husband wrote the following letter to his wife and left it on the dining room table:
'To My Dearest Wife,
I know you must surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being a fifty-four-year old woman, can no longer satisfy. I am extremely satisfied with your cookery skills and your housekeeping prowess, and I value you as an unusually good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not misinterpret the fact that I shall be spending this evening with my more comely, eighteen-year-old secretary at the Comfort Lodge Hotel.
Please do not be too upset - I shall make sure I am back home before midnight and I shall, of course, try not to awaken you.'
When the man returned home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:
~
'To My Dear Husband,
Well, I've read your letter, and thanks for your honesty regarding my age. May I take this opportunity to remind you that you are fifty-four as well?
As you know, I'm a maths teacher at the local college, and I'd like to inform you that, while you're at the Comfort Lodge, I'll be at the Purple Panther Inn with Greg, one of my students, who also happens to be a bodybuilder and tennis coach. He's virile, well-endowed, tireless and, like your secretary, eighteen and single.
As a businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, you'll understand that we're both kind of in the same situation, although with one vast difference; eighteen goes into fifty-four a lot more times than fifty-four goes into eighteen. Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.'
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
A lawyer, a doctor and a mathematician were discussing
the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.
The lawyer said: 'A mistress is better. If you have a
wife and want a divorce, it can cause all sorts of legal
problems.'
The doctor said: 'I think it is better to have a wife
because the sense of security lowers your stress and is
good for your health.'
=
The mathematician said: 'If we're to accept latest
available statistical research, we find the general
verdict is it is safer, so best, to have BOTH a wife
AND lover. Action does reduce stress after all!
So, if your wife reasons you're going abroad with a
mistress, whoever,and said mistress thinks you are
regularly with your wife...YOU can do some maths!'
3rd - Adie Pena with:
All Of The Top Ten Active Forum Personnel*
1. A lexicon-loving lass Rosie
2. A splendid jewel Dharam
3. A fledgeling Adie Pena
4. A fine old Brit dad Tony Crafter
5. An engaging View
6. A boozing sot David Bourke
7. An apt, exceptional Meyran Kraus
8. A fun fellow Chris Sturdy
9. A selfless Larry Brash
10. A pleasant M. Mesterton-Gibbons
=
Ten Alternative Uses for a World Cup Vuvuzela**
by Mad Dog and Glory
1. Flowerpot
2. Fake leg for a Long John Silver Fancy Dress Party
3. Spare Table Leg
4. Baseball Bat
5. Drinking Implement
6. An Old Fashioned Hearing Aid
7. An Extra Arm Extension
8. Telescope
9. Blow Dart for use in Political Assassinations
10. Deafening Machine
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Octopus's Garden
2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
12 Haikus For 12 Months
3rd - Adie Pena with:
July - Hilaire Belloc
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
A cunt often has ~
a stench of tuna
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Real big tits? ~
Bet it's a girl.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The sex-change operations =
"She" organ, except it's on a "he"!
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