Anagrammy Placegetters for October 2010

All the highly-placed anagrams from the October 2010 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Dean Mayer with:
Last of the Summer Wine =
Here's a wistful moment.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"The Social Network" =
How to create links.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Universal Studios' movie trilogy "Back to the Future" =
Various time-travel troubles of this cute young kid.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Dean Mayer with:
Norton AntiVirus Software =
Avert worst of an intrusion.

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
The Royal Bengal Tiger =
They're big, tall, orange.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The United States of America's foreign policy =
It's "Create a fuss, go in, empty it of oil, and cheer!"

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
Washington + Jackson + Harrison + Tyler + Fillmore + Pierce + Buchanan + Roosevelt + Harding + Truman + Kennedy =
Madison + Van Buren + Polk + Johnson + Grant + Hayes + Garfield + Arthur + McKinley + Eisenhower + Carter + Clinton

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The anticipated political memoir "Decision Points" by George Walker Bush, the former president of the United States=
Yes, we consider the matter epic, but I find it surprising to see he scrapped the original title of that book, "Elmo And Me".

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
William Shakespeare: 'The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark' =
Alas, appears he knew Mr. Yorick from meeting the ill-fated head!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
HELEN'S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1
Whoopee! All set for the cruise tomorrow! All my elegant gowns, best swimsuits, packed. How exciting!

Our women's Red Hat chapter organised this "girls-only" trip.

It will be my first one. Ooh! Cannot wait!

DEAR DIARY - DAY 2
Whole day out at sea, beautiful. Spotted whales, dolphins too. Met our Captain - John Houghton. Very nice man.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 3
Red-hot. Lounged around the pool, swum a while, then bumped into Captain Houghton on the upper deck.

He invited me to join him at his table for dinner later. Felt honoured and had a wonderful time. John's very handsome.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 4
Won £80 in the casino. Captain asked me to take dinner with him in his own cabin. Had yummy meal complete with oysters and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but told him no; I would not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 5
At loose-end, so lounged around pool, though got sunburned so went for drink in pool-bar. Stayed there all day. John Houghton saw me, bought me several drinks. John's really charming. Once again asked me to spend the night in his cabin, but refused. He told me, if I did not let him have his naughty way with me, he would sink the ship... I was thoroughly shocked.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 6
Today I saved 1600 lives.

Three times.

=

DADDY'S PHONE CALL.

Rrriiiiing, rrriiiiing... Rrriiiiing, rriiiiing...

'Hello?'

'Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No, Daddy. She's in the bedroom with Uncle Alec.'

(After a brief pause)

'... But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Alec.'

'Oh yes I have, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now.'

(Brief Pause...)

'Er, okay, this is what I want you to do. Lay the phone down on the table, hurry off upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and call to Mommy that Daddy's car is just coming into the driveway.'

'Yes, okay Daddy, just a minute.'

(A few minutes later...)

'I did as you said, Daddy.'

'And exactly what happened, honey?'

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug and hit her head real hard on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh, my God! What about your Uncle Alec?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on as well. He was really scared, and he jumped straight out of the back window and landed head-first in the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out all the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

(A long pause...)

(A longer pause...)

(An even longer pause...)

(Then Daddy says...)

'Swimming pool...? Erm, so... is this 02080 113456?'

'No, I think you have the wrong number...'

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked his newly-hired employee.

"Yes sir, of course," the new worker replied.

"Well, that makes everything all right," the boss continued. "Right after you went home early yesterday
to attend your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

=

At breakfast the fatherless little Petey, an irreverent youngster, asked his retiree grandmother Beverly,
"Hey, how old are you?" Whereupon, she sweetly testified, "I'm thirty-nine and holding!"

Petey assessed her for a moment, then precociously asked, "How old would you be if you let go?"

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Castration [refer to book on spaying or neutering or fixing] is any foolproof action, surgical or chemical treatment, by which a male loses the functions of his testicles for life. Fact: To prevent or minimize erections, eunuchs or "ball-less fellows" have performed as gentlemanlike people, from the best harem servants to old guardians of big-boobed bombshells.

=

The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball, for maintenance level employees it's bowling, for front-line workers it's football, for middle management it's tennis, for supervisors it's baseball, and the sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is golf. The amazing conclusion is the higher you go in management, the smaller your balls become.

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A small sample from a coven's spell verses found in the play "MacBeth"

2nd - Christopher Rump with:
A set of twenty chemical elements, anagrammed into a different set of twenty elements. All forty elements are distinct from the sixty used in Mike Keith's 30/30 doubly-true anagram here.

lithium + chlorine + potassium + titanium + copper + arsenic + yttrium + cadmium + barium + gadolinium + gold + polonium + radon + americium + einsteinium + fermium + rutherfordium + dubnium + hassium + roentgenium
=
neon + sulfur + gallium + germanium + strontium + technetium + indium + iodine + promethium + dysprosium + holmium + iridium + lead + astatine + francium + radium + protactinium + seaborgium + bohrium + copernicium

If you replace each element with its atomic number (position in the periodic table), there is still equality, making this a 20/20 doubly-true anagram.

3 + 17 + 19 + 22 + 29 + 33 + 39 + 48 + 56 + 64 + 79 + 84 + 86 + 95 + 99 + 100 + 104 + 105 + 108 + 111
=
10 + 16 + 31 + 32 + 38 + 43 + 49 + 53 + 61 + 66 + 67 + 77 + 82 + 85 + 87 + 88 + 91 + 106 + 107 + 112
(= 1301)

Thus, combining this 20/20 element anagram with Mike Keith's 30/30 anagram yields a 50/50 doubly-true anagram of 100 of the 112 currently named elements.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Nancy Reagan's Letter of Forgiveness to John Hinckley:

People could all learn so much from this elegant and gracious lady.

You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deluded and deranged young man who shot President Reagan in 1981.

Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster and, inside his twisted mind, loved Jodie so much that, to make himself well regarded by her, he decided to assassinate President Reagan. But his attempt failed - the President was wounded but survived.

There is speculation that Hinckley may soon be released, having been considered as rehabilitated. Consequently, you will all appreciate the following letter from Nancy Reagan to John Hinckley:

To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. N. Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.

In accordance with our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we wanted you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan.

We are fully aware that extreme mental stress and pain could well have driven you to commit such a desperate act.

We're confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to rejoin the world as a healthy and productive man.

Best wishes,

Nancy Reagan and Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, President Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.

=

A Key Way to Rearrange Our System.

Easy! Let's put the seniors in jail, and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the seniors would enjoy access to showers; hobbies; a walking (or jogging) area and any games they enjoy; they'd have unlimited free dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. They'd learn new work-skills and receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed emergency assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice weekly and their clothing ironed and returned to them as new.

A guard would look in on them by arrangement every twenty minutes, and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They'd enjoy family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would enjoy access to a library, a weight room, a pool, humane spiritual counselling and education breaks.

Basic clothing. Shoes, slippers, pyjamas, are free, and any legal aid can be arranged on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an outdoor exercise yard, with gardens.

For entertainment, each senior would have a PC, a TV, a radio, and make daily phone calls.

There would be a Governor and a board of 11 directors, to hear any complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that they must strictly adhere to.

The 'crooks' would get near-cold food, be left alone and unsupervised, lights off at 8pm, and a shower once a week. Must live in a tiny room for eternity, and pay $9K per month with no hope of getting out.

Justice for all. Ok?

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Anagrammy Placegetters for October 2010

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY