Anagrammy Placegetters for August 2012
All the highly-placed anagrams from the August 2012 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
A nymphomaniac =
I'm on many a chap.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder =
There I see thin body, you see the flab.
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Ultraconservative =
An overstrict value.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - nedesto with:
The Olympic medals:
1. Gold
2. Silver
3. Bronze
=
1. Lovely gloss!
2. Commendable
3. Third prize
2nd - Adie Pena with:
New TV series ~
nets viewers.
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
The Animals Went In Two By Two =
Bit wet now; wasn't Noah timely?!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The late Neil Armstrong =
Among the interstellar.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Prince Harry in nude frolics at Las Vegas hotel =
Royal rear is uncovered at length in flash-pics!
3rd - nedesto with:
ADA stripped Lance Armstrong of his titles =
Doping taints this all-famed sports career.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The sprinter Usain Bolt =
His plan is to run better.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Grigori Efimovich Rasputin =
I'm proving a historic figure.
3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Miss Christina Applegate =
I'm this appealing actress.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
eq1st - Scott Gardner with:
Had really perfect mug of beer in ~
The Federal Republic of Germany
eq1st - nedesto with:
1. Facebook
2. Twitter
3. LinkedIn
4. MySpace
5. Google Plus
=
1. Like
2. Compact
3. Working Lead
4. Obsolete
5. Stupefying
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Instagram application for iPhones =
A place for maintaining hipster photos.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
The twelve months in a year:
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
=
New Year
Love theme
Spring fever
Berry jam
My birthday
Summer tan
Barbecue
A jaunt
School
Autumn
Celebrate
Pure joy
2nd - nedesto with:
The winning bidder told the auctioneer, "Sir, as I paid a big fortune for this budgie, he better talk as well as you say."=
"That fine little bird? Sure, it's a fearless gabber!" replied the auctioneer. "Who do you think was bidding against you?"
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The nervous chap faced the boss: "My wife has told me to ask for a rise."
"Right," replied the boss, "I'll ask my wife if you can have one."
=
Office boss to a feckless late-arriver: "Miss Markes you should've been in this office at eight a.m.!"
"Oh lordy! Why, what happened?"
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go everywhere." - the late Helen Gurley Brown, international editor of Cosmopolitan.
="Retain*a*tone:
That*rosy*giggle...
Not*edgy*banter,
Then*a*wiggle!"
"No,*be*no*fool!
Lord*-*I*implore!
Heroic*lovers
Valued*whores!"
2nd - nedesto with:
"Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go everywhere." - the late Helen Gurley Brown, international editor of Cosmopolitan.
=
Enrobing gals with her cool nerve,
A top 'girlie' wrote a line;
Yet lonely gals ought to observe:
Hard men are good to find!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
"Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go everywhere." - the late Helen Gurley Brown, international editor of Cosmopolitan.
=
"To be powerful - get laid, grab all, regret nothing."
(Trendy 'Having It All' heroine voices a go-doer's theory on loose women).
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
SOME REASONS WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER
Men can (and do) play with toys all their life.
Men - damn them - can wear shorts, no matter what their legs look like in them.
Men have just one wallet and one paltry pair of shoes which are good for every occasion.
Men can choose whether or not to grow a moustache.
Men can 'do' their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.
Chocolate is just another snack.
The whole garage belongs to them.
Weddings take care of themselves.
Men's last name never changes.
Everything on a man's face stays its original colour.
Men only have to shave their faces and necks.
=
Also, if a gentleman has grey hairs, or wrinkles show, it somehow merely adds character.
Men, unlike women, can keep the same hairstyle for ages, decades even.
Men can complete their Christmas shopping for mates, relatives, whoever - on Christmas Eve - in all of half-an-hour.
Men can go on a week's vacation, or jolly hitchhiking holiday, and pack the one suitcase.
A male's neat new shoes or boots don't then generally cause heartache, toe blisters, or cut or mangle his feet.
Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.
Men, engagingly, have the one mood all the time.
Men can open their own jars effortlessly.
Sigh...
2nd - nedesto with:
10 Things Not To Say During Childbirth
1. You know, looking at her you'd never guess that Demi Moore had a baby!
2. I just wish that men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
3. Can you pop that sucker out before Sunday Night Football starts?
4. You think that hurts? Let me tell you how I smashed my finger playing hockey...
5. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
6. When you lie on your back there, you look just like a python that swallowed a boar.
7. This kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
8. Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
9. Remember what we learned in Lamaze class: HEE HEE HOO HOO. You just aren't using the right words!
10. Go ahead, Lady, you don’t have the guts to pull that trigger.
=
10 Things Not To Say To A Policeman
1. Hell, you must've been doing a hundred and twenty to catch up with me. Good job!
2. Hi! Do you know why you pulled me over? OK, just so one of us does.
3. Which hick numbskull are you? Andy or Barney?
4. Huh. I thought that cops had to be in good condition.
5. Silly me; I hadn't realized that my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
6. Kiss my ass, you mindless blithering idiot. I pay your salary!
7. Hello! You must be the burly helmeted bisexual dude from the Village People!
8. The last cop gave me a warning, too!
9. Hello, Officer... You're not gonna check the trunk for hashish, right?
10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic... I know there's no other cars around here; that's how far ahead they are!
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Products lost in translation:
1. The iconic car, the Ford "Pinto".
2. "Jattebra", the name of the Ikea flower pot.
3. Ikea's "Redalen" bed - named after the Norwegian town.
4. Ikea (again): the "Gutvik" child-sized bunk beds.
5. KFC's slogan: "Finger-lickin' good".
6. Coors' sexy slogan: "Turn it loose".
7. Pepsi's ongoing slogan: "Come alive with Pepsi".
8. "Puffs" brand of facial tissues.
9. "Coca-Cola", the well-known household product.
10. While the great "Got Milk?" campaign may have inspired Americans
to buy more dairy products, it didn't work out as well south of the border in Mexico.
=
1. Slang put-down in Brazil for compact "male genital parts".
2. Thai slang for "sex".
3. Thai word indicative of "getting to third base".
4. Sounded too much like a "good f*ck" in German.
5. To timid shocked people in China, it sounded like, "We'll eat your fingers off." Not a picnic food!
6. Spanish slang for "loose bowels".
7. A pitch rejected by China's skeptics, it would "bring your ancestors back from the grave".
8. Known German term for "whorehouse".
9. In Chinese, a term a lot like "to bite the wax tadpole".
10. Spanish speakers would vouch, it sounded like "Are you lactating?"
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:[As a tribute to the London Olympics that started in July, Amy Levy's poem 'London in July' is anagrammed into 5 poems about 5 of the most decorated Olympic athletes of all time, each from a different sport and continent (and as a point of interest, each poem also uses a different animal metaphor).
As an extra twist, The anagrams also contain a visual Olympic tribute, detailed below.]
London in July by Amy Levy
What ails my senses thus to cheat?
What is it ails the place,
That all the people in the street
Should wear one woman's face?
The London trees are dusty-brown
Beneath the summer sky;
My love, she dwells in London town,
Nor leaves it in July.
O various and intricate maze,
Wide waste of square and street;
Where, missing through unnumbered days,
We twain at last may meet!
And who cries out on crowd and mart?
Who prates of stream and sea?
The summer in the city's heart -
That is enough for me.
=
Australia: Swimmer Ian Thorpe
What winning strokes and awesome thrusts!
The crowd that gazes at the pool
Enjoys your flawless moves, I trust:
Olympic myths are valid jewels.
Dynamic rhythm, now enhanced
By smoothly-running aqua-limbs,
May hand you one insane advance:
Today, you'd rule the wildest swims.
We tend to hear old fantasies
Of 'dolphin men' that seem untrue,
Of men that tour the Seven Seas,
Or tried to tame the ocean-blue -
But when we see this water trail,
We learn these are not children's tales.
=
Europe: Beam champion Nadia Comaneci
That lucent wonder, quick and small,
She'd stun the world at just fourteen
And show us all in Montreal
The most mature routine we've seen.
With twirls and cartwheels done with ease,
That sunny gymnast came to win;
Alert, yet airy as a breeze,
She may be truly blessed within.
The joy of her young art invites
A drowsy memory most fond,
With shiny, yellow summer light
And swans that are in love on ponds:
The sweetest one that floated there
Had poise as marvelous as hers.
=
America: Runner Carl Lewis
No man will thwart the Jaguar's will
Whenever he devotes that might
To win the prey by sitting still,
Quite soundly, ready for that bite.
Those sweaty arms may not seem sound,
Those steady jaws may not seem mean;
The aches may bud, yet he is bound
To sit here anyway, unseen.
The mind's so razor-sharp and deep
That when those moments come at last,
Our virile cat would make that leap
No soul would flee, however fast...
And when their race is run and done,
All 'winners' must consist of one.
=
Africa: Marathoner Haile Gebrselassie
He'd run upwind just after dawn
Across green miles to come to class -
It's how he would attain the brawn,
But never ever too much mass.
So now, the solid swifter man
Remains quite sinewy, yet lean;
That wiz - as only his type can -
Breathes smoothly, totally serene.
He'd wend his way and play it smart,
And, on one mostly steady trend,
That runner who stays young at heart
Would have momentum in the end:
Just like wild antelopes must roam,
He'd view the course, then feel at home.
=
Asia: Diver Guo Jingjing
Our mannered woman won the prize
With water stunts quite smooth and clear
That multiplied before my eyes -
The most unreal display that year.
She'd match one osprey's levity,
As someone that surveys the sky:
That shrewd and scrawny entity
That I can seldom see fly by;
When Autumn's sun would wane near me -
That warm scene in those mellow tones -
One bird would fall into the sea
To snare some wealth of trouts, alone...
But medals are her wealth instead -
With China's crimson overhead.
=
These poems also employ different colors to depict each athlete. This is no coincidence: When these colors are applied to the Y's in each poem in a monospaced font, 5 strategically-placed rings appear:
Australia: Swimmer Ian Thorpe
What winning strokes and awesome thrusts!
The crowd that gazes at the pool
Enjoys your flawless moves, I trust:
Olympic myths are valid jewels.
Dynamic rhythm, now enhanced
By smoothly-running aqua-limbs,
May hand you one insane advance:
Today, you'd rule the wildest swims.
We tend to hear old fantasies
Of 'dolphin men' that seem untrue,
Of men that tour the Seven Seas,
Or tried to tame the ocean-blue -
But when we see this water trail,
We learn these are not children's tales.
=
Europe: Beam champion Nadia Comaneci
That lucent wonder, quick and small,
She'd stun the world at just fourteen
And show us all in Montreal
The most mature routine we've seen.
With twirls and cartwheels done with ease,
That sunny gymnast came to win;
Alert, yet airy as a breeze,
She may be truly blessed within.
The joy of her young art invites
A drowsy memory most fond,
With shiny, yellow summer light
And swans that are in love on ponds:
The sweetest one that floated there
Had poise as marvelous as hers.
=
America: Runner Carl Lewis
No man will thwart the Jaguar's will
Whenever he devotes that might
To win the prey by sitting still,
Quite soundly, ready for that bite.
Those sweaty arms may not seem sound,
Those steady jaws may not seem mean;
The aches may bud, yet he is bound
To sit here anyway, unseen.
The mind's so razor-sharp and deep
That when those moments come at last,
Our virile cat would make that leap
No soul would flee, however fast...
And when their race is run and done,
All 'winners' must consist of one.
=
Africa: Marathoner Haile Gebrselassie
He'd run upwind just after dawn
Across green miles to come to class -
It's how he would attain the brawn,
But never ever too much mass.
So now, the solid swifter man
Remains quite sinewy, yet lean;
That wiz - as only his type can -
Breathes smoothly, totally serene.
He'd wend his way and play it smart,
And, on one mostly steady trend,
That runner who stays young at heart
Would have momentum in the end:
Just like wild antelopes must roam,
He'd view the course, then feel at home.
=
Asia: Diver Guo Jingjing
Our mannered woman won the prize
With water stunts quite smooth and clear
That multiplied before my eyes -
The most unreal display that year.
She'd match one osprey's levity,
As someone that surveys the sky:
That shrewd and scrawny entity
That I can seldom see fly by;
When Autumn's sun would wane near me -
That warm scene in those mellow tones -
One bird would fall into the sea
To snare some wealth of trouts, alone...
But medals are her wealth instead -
With China's crimson overhead.
And when the poems are superimposed, they form this:
2nd - nedesto with:
[This crossword celebrates an important international event and includes nine thematic entries highlighted in blue.
The letters in the completed crossword grid are an anagram of both the "ACROSS" and "DOWN" clues which are anagrams of each other.]
ACROSS
|
DOWN
|
=
3rd - Adie Pena with:
[James McIntyre's poem ODE ON THE MAMMOTH CHEESE is anagrammed into another poem about Kunik Cheese, a semi-aged, triple cream wheel cheese made from 25% Jersey cow cream and 75% goat's milk produced at Nettle Meadow Goat Farm in Thurman, New York. The anagram contains the acrostic U.S. NATIONAL GOAT CHEESE MONTH which is being celebrated this August in the United States of America.]
ODE ON THE MAMMOTH CHEESE
James McIntyre
We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze --
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.
Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.
May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.
Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.
We'rt thou suspended from baloon,
You'd cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.
=
UPSTATE, NORTHEAST OF NEW YORK
See the farmhouse, oh, in Thurman
Now demanded by many a fan.
Ambrosia for any foolhardy man;
The farmyard where it all began.
I discovered real Kunik Cheese
Of no equal, as everyone agrees.
Nibbling on endless quantities
As I quaff some good wine, please.
Let's do hop over to Nettle Meadow,
Get all your welcome friends to go
Over to where the goats grow
And tell the chichi foodies so!
To go consummate one god's request,
Cheese at its, oh, very toothful best!
Here one ends the absolute quest;
Eat an enormous wheel with zest.
Ecstasy now he'd surely guarantee;
Stuff that's crafted quite like brie.
Each chef's a toothsome devotee;
Munch one, too, and you'll see!
Oh, so yummy and fabulous in size,
Now everyone affords and buys.
The tasty Jersey cream he'd prize
Heaven he had in a creamy surprise!
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - nedesto with:
Airplane stewardesses =
Pert asses wander aisle.
2nd - View with:
These gorgeous babes =
Sees great huge boobs!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
One sad sentiment that a lad might not be happy to hear: ~
"That DOESN'T happen to many other men. That IS a big deal."
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