Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2012

All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2012 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Rosie Perera with:
Advent carols =
Ardent vocals.

2nd - Ed Pegg Jr with:
Republicans =
I curse Plan B.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Sandy Hook Elementary School, Connecticut =
One man shocked local society, then country!

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The sprinter Oscar Pistorius =
Superior star in prosthetics.

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
The blessed virgin Mary =
Given myrrh stable-side.

3rd - nedesto with:
Catherine "Kate" Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge =
Duke's child-bearing mate, henceforth domesticated.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
The world's five all-time most noteworthy people:

1. Leonardo da Vinci
2. Isaac Newton
3. Albert Einstein
4. Plato
5. Galileo Galilei
=
1. Mona Lisa painter
2. "I'll follow gravity down."
3. "I have entwined spacetime."
4. Rational theologist
5. A telescope led to rebellion

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Pretend you are on the beach on some desert island. What three favorite books would you like to bring along?
=
- Michael Ende's 'The Neverending Story'
- 'Edgar Allan Poe: The Entire Works'
- 'How To Build A Boat Out Of Your Books'.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The Australian radio disc jockeys Mel Greig and Michael Christian
=
Regal mimicry leading to Jacintha Saldanha's shock suicide. Retire!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
One by one, the managers of a company were called into the CEO’s office until only the newest, most junior manager was left sitting nervously outside. Finally, it was his turn to be summoned. He walked into the office to find the CEO and the twelve senior managers seated solemnly around a polished oak table.

Addressing the junior manager, the CEO asked: "Young man, have you ever slept with Miss Whittock, the company secretary?"

"What? Certainly not! "

"Are you absolutely sure?" the CEO persisted.

"Absolutely. I swear I have never laid one finger on her."

"And you would swear that on the Bible?"

"Yes, I would swear on the Bible that I have never had a sexual relationship with Miss Whittock."

"Good," nodded the CEO. "Then you can fire her."

=

The CEO of an international company was due to speak at a major convention, so he nominated Robertson, one of his junior managers, to write him a really dynamic twenty-minute oration.

Totally obsessed, the young man slaved relentlessly at his task and eventually created a dynamic, innovative speech which he thought would be well received. Yes, he felt sure his boss would really like this one!

Later, on returning from the convention, the CEO was seething.

"Why the hell did you write me a one-hour speech?" he raged. "Half the audience began to walk out long before I'd finished. What a mess!"

Robertson was baffled. "But I did write you a twenty-minute speech, sir!" he asserted.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
MANSPEAK: And what it really means.

It is a guy thing.
There is no rational thought pattern and you've no chance at all of making it logical.

Can I help you with dinner?
Why isn't it on the table yet?

Uh-huh/yes, dear/sure, honey.
This means absolutely nothing. It is a
conditioned response.

It would really take much too long to explain.
I have no idea how it works.

We are going to be late.
I've a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.

Take a break, dear. You really do work too hard.
I cannot hear the game over the noise of that confounded vacuum cleaner.

That's interesting, dear.
Are you still talking?

It is a really good movie.
It's got guns, explosions, fast cars, and beautiful women.

That is women's work.
It is difficult, dirty, and thankless.

You know how bad my memory is.
I do remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've owned, but I did forget your damn birthday date.

=

I was thinking about you this afternoon at work, and I got these expensive, fragrant pink roses and nasturtiums you like.
The Bavarian girl I saw selling them on the street corner's a firebrand - she's a cracker!

Look, don't exaggerate or make a fuss. I cut myself - it's no big deal.
I think I've actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.

Hey, relax. I have got rational reasons for what I'm doing, you know.
And I hope I think of some convincing ones very soon.

I cannot find it.
It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, and therefore I'm completely clueless.

What did I do this time?
What did you catch me at?

I heard you.
I haven't the foggiest clue what you said, and so now I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it, so that you don't spend a week or more yelling at me and interrogating me.

You know I could never love anyone else.
I am used to your behavior - the way that you yell at me - and I realise it could be altogether worse.
ed. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for..."

3rd - nedesto with:
Benny walked into his welfare office to pick up his check. Marching straight up to Ken, the social worker at the counter Benny said, "Hi, Ken, my good man.... I do HATE getting welfare. I'd rather be working."

Ken said, "Then your timing is really most excellent, sir, as we have this brand new opening from a wealthy old man who wants a bodyguard for his beautiful nineteen year old daughter."

"You'll have to drive her in the old man's Mercedes, Benny, and the old man will supply all your clothes. Because of the long hours, the meals will be provided. Then, you'll also be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips." Ken continued.

"This is rather indelicate to say, Benny, but as part of this job assignment, you will also have to try to satisfy her... ahem... desires, as the girl has a rather strong... ahem... drive."

Wide-eyed, Benny said, "You gotta be bullshitting me, Ken!"

Ken said, "Yeah, well I'm sorry, but you started it."

=

Will goes into a pub. The bar is completely empty, except for the bartender. Will orders a drink, the bartender pours it and goes in the back room, leaving Will alone in the bar.

Suddenly, Will hears a vague muffled voice in the bar, "Pardon, but your tie's very nice."

He looks around, but sees no one. Will sips his drink again and then hears the muffled voice say, "Wow, your hair's really sexy today."

Again, he glances around, but no one's there. Thinking he's losing his mind, Will goes back to his drink. Then he hears the muffled voice say, "Wow, you look truly great. Have you lost weight, too?"

Just then, the bartender emerges from back of the room. "Was that you talking before?" asks Will.

"Well, no, I didn't say anything," says the bartender.

"Really? Because I distinctly heard someone say "Nice tie", then they complimented my hair and said I'd lost weight."

"Oh," said the bartender, "That's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
1. Molten rock
4. Pop
7. Crooked (4-1-4)
12. Prick
13. Have concerns (5,2)
14. I'm who is Santa's third
15. Birthplace
16. Use my words
17. Blithe
18. Reminiscence
20. Adherence
24. Wise
26. O-C-O (3,3)
28. Sheep heaps
30. Much beloved Crosby tune (3,2,4,3,9)
32. I'm a first for Santa
34. Plaster type
35. Sugary nut confections
38. Scalia, et al (7,5)
40. Smart-ass
43. Vestibule
45. Eyes
46. Mistaken; invalid
48. Calm
49. A kind of 52 Across
50. Cause a humorous crack-up
51. Guides
52. Coconut meringue, e.g.
53. "To our health!"=
1. Us fogies
2. Cartilage
3. Cherub
4. "Do I hear a thousand?" (5,7)
5. Motor
6. When my true love gave me stuff (6,4,2,9)
7. Fickleness
8. Spell check (4,4)
9. "KLANG!" (5,4)
10. Happen
11. Celebration
19. Topic
21. Accolades
22. Semaphores as a distress (1-1-1)
23, Nativity
25. Stacks (5,2)
27. Eccentric human
29. Arborous, resinous sap
31. Chutney
32. Como se dice, "Two"?
33. Complete (5,4)
36. Candy
37. Caribou
39. Cephalopod
41. Intermission
42. Isthmus is a kind (4-2)
43. Enumerates
44. Vile, murky water
47. Scorch or burn

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Riding upon the Goat, with snow-white hair,
I come, the last of all. This crown of mine
Is of the holly; in my hand I bear
The thyrsus, tipped with fragrant cones of pine.
I celebrate the birth of the Divine,
And the return of the Saturnian reign;
My songs are carols sung at every shrine,
Proclaiming "Peace on earth, good will to men."

=

A Poem on Issues of Destiny

A sense of wonder welcoming with mirth
New products of the miracle of birth
Beginning then their trip upon this Earth
Leads nowhere - though it may give you relief
To change that and promote this right belief:
An early, harsh conviction that we all
End in this roaring fire no prayer can stall.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The Naming of Cats
by T.S. Eliot

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name

=
Hit American Names for Dogs
(with the names' meanings)

Angel - ethereal
Bambi - imitation deer
Beau - handsome, charming
Betty Lou - overfed glutton
Billy-Bob - monumental as a house (i.e., the Mastiff)
Bobby-Jo - thievish
Buck - majestic stag
Bud - a beer enthusiast
Candi - has a sweet tooth
Chopper - lethal teeth, an assassin
Cletis - dull as a stone
Coy - not as dumb as he looks
Daisy - pale as the flower
Dakota - a Native American's friend
Desiree - (French) craved one
Earl - a dutiful leader
Elrod - asleep underneath the tree
Eustice - a helluva poker player
Faylene - unique
Fido - has an unimaginative human
Floyd - sensitive, gentle
Forest - chief of the woods
Harley- spacious meadow (also, a motorcycle enthusiast)
Hattie - thankful
Homer - intelligent chum
Jed - friend of God
Junior - small human son
Layla - attentive face
Lexus - faithful as the auto
Lynndie - aviator
Maddy - Messiah's helpmate
Misty - an elf in the mist
Nyla - a winner
Otis - son of Otto (who is that?)
Peggy-Sue - queen of the South
Pervis - fortunate one
Porsha - attached to a German auto mechanic
Pristine - chaste, feminine
Raylene - stubborn as a mule
Rebel - resistant to authority (the name fits most of them!)
Rhiann - a mythological nymph
Rocky - macho prize fighter (pure muscle!)
Roscoe - huntsman from the forest
Roy - magnificent ruler
Ruby - fathomless gem
Rufus - chestnut-furred one
Sherman - staunch as the tank
Spencer - faithful
Wade - loves the water

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Dean Mayer with:
The folk musicians =
Same ol' fuckin' shit.

2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Tight sweater =
Tits wag there.

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Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2012

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY