Anagrammy Placegetters for June 2013
All the highly-placed anagrams from the June 2013 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Set in one's ways =
"New" isn't so easy.
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Thou shalt not commit adultery =
It commandeth to halt your lust.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
My favourite things? =
First, having met you!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
Wilfred Owen's Anthem for Doomed Youth =
So they mourn men led off to war ... who'd die.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes =
He'd chase crooks only on smell
3rd - Adie Pena with:
Lady Chatterley's Lover =
The doll's very racy tale.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
President Nelson Mandela =
Spent old man lies near end.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Sopranos actor James Gandolfini =
Major loss of great thespian and icon.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Mr E Snowden =
Modern news.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
I hate sharks and ~
the Kardashians.
2nd - Dean Mayer with:
Diego Forlan ~
fired on goal.
3rd - George Sicherman with:
Robert Louis Stevenson ~
sent one Silver to rob us.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - nedesto with:
Worlds best-selling autos:
1. Model T
2. Beetle
3. Corolla
=
1. Cool roadsters
2. One little bug
3. Well-assembled lot
2nd - Adie Pena with:
National Security Agency =
I can trace any guilty ones.
3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
iTunes.com =
Music note.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
THE SEVEN CONTINENTS OF THE WORLD
1. Africa
2. Europe
3. Asia
4. North America
5. South America
6. Antarctica
7. Australia
=
1. Oh man, I'm hot!
2. A pariah
3. A future threat?
4. USA, Canada et al
5. Latin races
6. Interior of ice
7. Ancestors were convicts
2nd - nedesto with:
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
=
Gollum and nine knights all endanger hobbit on errand to melt the thing there in Mt. Doom's inner fire.
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
The statesmen Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama, David Cameron
=
A team voted them: Mad Russian Black American Vapid Briton
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
"I've a grand memory for forgetting." (Robert Louis Stevenson)
=
Minor or big
Events
Move fast,
Or slog and
Rerun --
Yet, I forget.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"I've a grand memory for forgetting." (Robert Louis Stevenson)
=
"Voters are born senile. It's a gift from God." (Your government)
3rd - Dean Mayer with:
“I've a grand memory for forgetting.” (Robert Louis Stevenson)
=
So very frustrating for old ager to be given senior moment.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
A CAT'S DIARY
Day Nine-Nine-Three of Captivity!
My captors continue to taunt me with frivolous, useless dangling objects.
They themselves dine well on fresh meat, luxuries too, while the other inmates and I are fed rubbish - hash or nuggets. Unbelievable!
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something now in order to maintain my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the woollen carpet. Shame...
Also today, I decapitated a foolish mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I hoped that this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made the usual condescending comments about what 'a clever hunter' I am.
The sick bastards!
=
There was an assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement, fenced in, for the duration of the event.
But I could clearly hear all the noise, and smell the juicy food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to 'allergies'.
I must immediately learn what that means, and contemplate how I might use it to my best advantage.
Tonight, I almost succeeded in an attempt to exterminate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he walked about.
I must attempt this again, perhaps tomorrow, this time not at the bottom, but the top of the stairs.
I'm convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog named 'Dink', a cheeky, short-legged dachshund, is receiving special privileges.
He's regularly released - yet always seems to be more than happy to return.
He obviously has issues.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A game warden spotted a guy carrying two buckets of fish away from a lake. “Oi, you!” he cried out; "do you have a licence to catch those fish? If not, there is an instant fine of five hundred pounds to pay.”
The man replied, “No I do not, but you’ve got it all wrong. These are my pet fish.”
“Your pet fish?” said the warden incredulously.
“Yes! Every night, I take these fish down to the lake and I let them swim around for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into their buckets and I take them home again.”
“I’ve never heard such a load of garbage in all my life,” smirked the warden. “Fish cannot do that, it's insane!”
The man pondered for a minute before suggesting: “Look; if you don’t reckon it's true, I'll show you.”
“Okay, I can't wait to see this!” replied the warden mockingly.
So the man poured the fish out of the buckets into the lake and stood waiting. Several minutes later, the warden said, “Well?”
“Well what?” asked the man.
“When are you going to call them back?”
“Call who back?”
“The fish!” yelled the warden.
“What fish?”
=
An engineer was crossing the road one day, when a voice called out: "Hey! If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
"What the hell?" he muttered, as he looked down and saw a frog in the road. He bent down, picked it up and stashed it in his pocket.
The frog called out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I shall stay with you for a whole week!"
The engineer removed the frog from his pocket... He smiled, then put it back again.
"Hey!" the frog called out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a whole week and do ANYTHING you want!"
Again, the engineer removed the frog, smiled, then stashed it back in his pocket.
Finally, the dejected frog cried, "Oh dear, what's the matter? I have told you that I am a beautiful princess and that I shall stay with you for the whole week and have offered to do whatever you want me to, yet you won't kiss me. Why's that?"
The man said, "Hell, I'm an engineer. I don't have the time for girlfriends, but a talking frog - now that's cool!"
eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
How To Appeal To A Woman On Your First Date
1. Show up wearing an elegant suit and dress shoes
2. Gently compliment her outfit when she arrives
3. Order the right bottle of wine
4. Take her to a good date film, like 'Les Miserables'
5. Impress her with your smooth dance moves
6. Take her for a hansom cab ride or a nice walk in the park
7. If you meet her folks there, try to innocently flirt with her mother
8. Learn all about women by reading serious books on the matter and gaining some decent first-hand experience.
=
How To Make A Woman Flee The Scene On Your First Date
1. Wear a stylish 'Bieber Fan Forever' shirt and orange sneakers
2. Compliment her ass and visible panty line
3. Order six bottles of some cheap red wine "to get things going"
4. Take her to the porn parody of 'Les Miserables'
5. Impress her with a drunk routine to the tune of 'YMCA'
6. Ask her to stand guard while you hot-wire a police car
7. Get really high and make out with her mom like it's the end of the world
8. Learn about women from a moronic list on the internet.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[Dante Gabriel Rossetti's sonnet 'The Vase of Life' anagrammed into a sonnet about a Ming Vase with two relevant constraints]
Around the vase of Life at your slow pace
He has not crept, but turned it with his hands,
And all its sides already understands.
There, girt, one breathes alert for some great race;
Whose road runs far by sands and fruitful space;
Who laughs, yet through the jolly throng has pass'd;
Who weeps, nor stays for weeping; who at last,
A youth, stands somewhere crowned, with silent face.
And he has filled this vase with wine for blood,
With blood for tears, with spice for burning vow,
With watered flowers for buried love most fit;
And would have cast it shattered to the flood,
Yet in Fate's name has kept it whole; which now
Stands empty till his ashes fall in it.
=
What Truth Hides in a Piece of China?
This gloss, straight from the halls of royalty,
Has hardly waned a bit, but rather thrived;
Each passing decade made this subtlety
More marvelous than ever... and alive.
In older days of awful wrath and strife,
No warrior would dare to scratch this face;
Great lords, who often knew the joys of life,
Dreamt, spellbound, to possess the fabled vase.
Yet, when we watch this white and florid shell,
Now showcased, poignant, in that house of arts,
A wish for greatness flows through us as well,
So potent that it's bound to fill our hearts!
The beauty's pure as snow on winter flowers,
Yet deep within, we find its hidden powers.
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The Longest Joke in the World (correct me if it's not)
Link available soon.
3rd - Jason Lofts with:
Anthem For Doomed Youth
What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.
What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.
=
Hymn: The Fight for Martyrdom
What pealing tolls for those condemned as bulls?
Is most hellishly angry gunshot.
Resonating trench gunfire’s deathly prattle
Detonates non-melodious laments.
Why no hopes go forth, no lilting orisons?
Pay no vocal remorse bar these, the choristers,
Their mad trilled echoes of howlin’ salvoes;
Trumpets blow in distress on far-off hillocks.
What tapers can be held to hasten all the slain?
Held not by brash youths, but in these orbits
How flicker shimmering god images of adieus.
Her pale forehead’ll be terror’s able friend;
Why, floral softness seen as patience,
Night, where mild days, wound down, end.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
One steel vibrator =
Lover on batteries!
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Her great big tits =
I get tighter bras.
3rd - Mark Huffman with:
Weird case of unseen farts =
Underwear stains of feces.
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