Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2014
All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2014 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
A trained circus elephant =
Such a placid entertainer.
2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Sin City =
It is NYC!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The professional plastic surgeon =
I sculpt this large nose of a person.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'The Creation of Adam', a Sistine Chapel ceiling mural =
God shall touch Man in a fierce Italian masterpiece.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
'Captain America: The Winter Soldier' =
We cried: "Isn't he a real patriotic man?"
3rd - Tyler Severance with:
The popular television hit Breaking Bad =
Bald "Heisenberg" took punitive liar path.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar maintains that he is not guilty of Reeva's death =
Is this a fact, mister? I hear you haven't a leg to stand on!
2nd - nedesto with:
It's National Honesty Day =
I don't say any lies on that!
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Malaysia Minister of Transportation Hussein =
Issues misinformation on that stray airplane.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Comedian Stephen Colbert =
He copied Letterman on CBS.
2nd - Matt Jones with:
Stephen Colbert =
Enter to help CBS.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The country singer Linda Maria Ronstadt =
Man, I'd rather listen to our angry cat's din!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Google Translate =
Not ALL goes great...
2nd - nedesto with:
The USA Internal Revenue Service =
Their inane vultures never cease!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
I'd trade shoes at ~
the Adidas store.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Top Notoriously Bad Tourists
10. Brazil
9. Italy
8. France
7. India
6. Germany
5. Australia
4. China
3. Russia
2. United Kingdom
1. United States
=
10. Ah - samba crazy!
9. Pious
8. Unlikable
7. Untidy
6. So Teutonic
5. So irritating!
4. Tiny Asians
3. Red intimidators
2. Lager louts
1. Fat and rude
2nd - Jason Lofts with:
What are the various clergy ranks?
1. Priest
2. Pastor
3. Rector
4. Reverend
5. Minister
6. Cardinal
7. Pope
=
1. Strip!
2. Got an erect penis (arousal)
3. Hard core
4. Rectal entry
5. Wank
6. A horrid pervert
7. Permissive
3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Top five largest cities in the world:
1. Shanghai
2. Beijing
3. Lagos
4. Istanbul
5. Karachi
=
1. Jewel of China
2. Global capital
3. Nigeria
4. Vista at Turkish shore
5. Biggest in Sindh
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Rosie Perera with:
April One. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four." - Mark Twain
=
What a piece of work is man,
how foolish, indeed rude,
that her man Henry,
with errant dexterity,
put underwear on his head.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
April One. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four." - Mark Twain
=
No pride in how we think with such human dexterity, and remained sure easy to fool, rewarded with fear rather than hope.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
"April One. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four." - Mark Twain
=
Slow wit, hither adrift;
The war and near.
Unwise apathy or
Prosy thinker.
I exhumed in the hour of
Death -- Condemned are we!
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Maurice Goddard with:
1: Dogs
2: Cats
3: Swans
4: Budgerigars
5: Birds
6: Horses
7: Chickens
8: Kangaroos
9: Fish
10: Bacteria
11: Earthworms
12: Plankton
13: Sheep
14: White mice
15: Turkeys
16: Vermin
17: Pigs
18: Cows
19: Elephants
20: Rhinoceroses
21: Leopards
22: Owls
=
1: Bark
2: Meow
3: Hiss
4: Can speak words
5: Sing
6: Race
7: Lay eggs
8: Hop
9: Swim
10: Increase!
11: Crawl
12: Cross seas
13: Wool here
14: Kid's pets
15: Real Christmas!
16: Horrid pests
17: Bacon
18: Beef
19: Trunks
20: Huge horn!
21: Spotted
22: Night vision
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
On her first night in an unusual hotel, the woman guest made sure she would know the means of escaping any possible fires.
On inspecting the corridors, she noticed what looked to be a fire-door at the end of a hallway, but when she opened it she unexpectedly saw a man having a bath!"
“Oh, I am so very sorry,” she said. “I’m looking for the fire escape.”
The man pointed to a blue door at the other end of the corridor. But as she approached it, she saw that the stark-naked man was following her – and then he started pursuing her to the fire escape!
She quickly ran down the steps, but just as she reached the bottom, a wet hand grabbed her shoulder...
“Er, where did you say that fire was?” he asked.
=
One Saturday night a wife came home late after a few too many drinks. Not wishing to wake her husband, she quietly ascended the stairs, opened their bedroom door and crept in.
To her horror, she saw four legs protruding from under the blanket instead of the expected two! In a fit of jealous rage she picked up a baseball bat and started whacking the shapes under the blanket as hard as she could. When she'd finished, she ran hotfoot to the kitchen to pour herself a large Scotch.
But, when she went in, she saw her husband was there, reading a newspaper.
"Hiya, honey!" he said. "Guess what? Your parents have come to visit, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you said hello to them!”
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
John was sitting outside his local pub one afternoon, enjoying a nice pint and generally feeling content, when a nun turned up at his table and started to decry the evils of drink.
'You should be ashamed young man! Drinking is a Sin! Wake up! Alcohol is like a killer, the blood of the Devil!'
John got irritated, and while put out, went on the offensive.
'But however do YOU, a plain nun, know this information, Sister?'
'Mother Superior told me.'
'But look, have you never, ever had even a little drink? How can you be certain that what you are saying is actually true?'
=
'Of course not! I really never have taken unholy alcohol myself.'
John said, 'Let me buy you a drink. Then afterwards, if you still believe it's truly evil, I will give up the drink for life.'
'How could I, a Nun, sit outside a pub drinking?!'
John answered, 'Don't worry, I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup. No one needs to know.'
The Nun reluctantly agreed, so John went in to see the bar manager again.
'Another pint for me, and a double vodka on the rocks.' And then lowering his voice he said, 'Would you see that the vodka is put in a tea cup?'
'Oh no! It's not the b****y Nun again, is it?'
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Spring Song
Robert Louis Stevenson
The air was full of sun and birds,
The fresh air sparkled clearly.
Remembrance wakened in my heart
And I knew I loved her dearly.
The fallows and the leafless trees
And all my spirit tingled.
My earliest thought of love, and Spring's
First puff of perfume mingled.
In my still heart the thoughts awoke,
Came lone by lone together –
Say, birds and Sun and Spring, is Love
A mere affair of weather?
=
Remembering My Lost Half
A while had passed, yet I recall
How this fool promptly fell for her -
But dared not fight the plunge at all,
For mindless links are merrier.
And no grief, nor a twist of fate,
May snuff the avid spark worth saving
And like some evil sun negate
An ocean of elated craving:
My lips burn as I feel that kiss
Where fresher buds grew all around;
I'd sense my lady there, in bliss,
On these serene and pretty grounds.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
BACK IN THE USSR
By
The Beatles
Oh, flew in from Miami Beach BOAC.
Didn't get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knee
Man I had a dreadful flight
I'm back in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are boy
Back in the USSR
Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone
I'm back in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are boy
Back in the US...
Back in the US...
Back in the USSR
Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my mind
(musical break)
Yeah I'm back in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are boys
Back in the USSR
Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my mind
Oh, show me round your snow-peaked mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy's farm
Let me hear your balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm
I'm back in the USSR
Hey you don't know how lucky you are boys
Back in the USSR
=
BACKING THE USSR
By
V. Putin
Yeah, Russia's where it's happening we hold the power
So why did you all break away?
I am wholly certain, yeah that come the hour
You'll be back with us one day
So bring back the USSR
We'll all grow much stronger by far, man!
I'm backing the USSR
You got your independence but what have you done?
You're like chickens with no heads
You pygmies don't know how a country should be run
Don't know how it should be led
Get backin' my USSR
You'll go much higher by far, da!
Backing my US...
Backin' my US...
Backin' the USSR
Well, weak Ukraine will be mine some day
Crimea, it has gone
Okay folk, denounce your Western ways
Get back to where you once belonged.
(vodka break)
Yeah, I'm talking USSR
I'm talkin' a coup d'etat, man
I'm backin' the USSR
Oh, one by one I'll take my countries back
T'was always my design
You'll know okay the moment I attack
And I shall make you my-my-mine!
Now, don't be reckless, don't resist for goodness sake
I can break you with one hand
Take a moment to consider what's at stake
Head home to the Motherland
Go back to the USSR
Home to the land of your ma-ma!
I'm backin' the USSR!
3rd - nedesto with:
Absent Place-an April Day, Emily Dickinson
Absent Place-an April Day-
Daffodils a-blow
Homesick curiosity
To the Souls that snow-
Drift may block within it
Deeper than without-
Daffodil delight but
Him it duplicate-
=
Delicately bathed in paint,
All cold lookouts did wait.
Flowers bound up with duty shine
Fragrant, sappy, soft, sedate.
Outlined in birthday chiffon;
Dreamlike, whimsical.
Imitates a picky patch;
Lithe mobs botanical.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Maurice Goddard with:
Anal copulation =
Tool up in a canal
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Floor around men's toilets =
Lots of urine... and lots more.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
Dick & nuts =
Cunt & kids.
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