Anagrammy Placegetters for August 2014
All the highly-placed anagrams from the August 2014 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - nedesto with:
A supervolcano =
Cone pours lava.
2nd - Jason Lofts with:
Low salaries? =
Allow raises!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Senior has ~
nose hairs!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
And Now For Something Completely Different =
Sentence of a weird gent from old Python film.
2nd - nedesto with:
Film director Sir Peter Jackson =
Credit for JRR Tolkien escapism.
3rd - Tyler Severance with:
Plot necessary ~
to screenplays!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
The Ebola virus in West Africa =
A cure for this was inevitable.
2nd - Julian Lofts with:
US actor and comedian Robin Williams found dead =
Tabloids mourn suicidal man, faded icon, a wonder
3rd - Jason Lofts with:
Israel's Operation Protective Edge ~
overstepped - atrocities are legion!
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The comedian and actor Robin Williams =
A more-than-brilliant comic is now dead.
2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The late American actor Robin Williams =
IMO, he was a brilliant comic, rare talent
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
President Barack Hussein Obama =
A Bush spent and America is broke.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Julian Lofts with:
The San Andreas Fault =
Unsafe land's a threat.
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Gallup, Incorporated =
A giant poll producer.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The ingredients of a meal in a McDonald's restaurant =
Salt, refined sugar and relish on contaminated meat.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
Eq1st - Meyran Kraus with:
1. Star Wars: A New Hope
2. The Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi
4. The Phantom Menace
5. Attack of the Clones
6. Revenge of the Sith
=
1. "Perfect!!!"
2. "A gem!!"
3. "Ewoks stink, but it has charm!"
4. "The pod race went on forever there..."
5. "Another speech in the Senate?!"
6. "That film's a joke."
Eq1st - Tony Crafter with:
(Solicitors' office - a phone rings)
"Good morning, Shaker, Shaker and Shaker, can I help you?"
"Yeah, thanks - may I speak to Mr Shaker?"
~
"Sorry, he's gone for lunch."
"Can I speak to Mr Shaker then?"
"He is on holiday, I'm afraid."
"Gosh! Okay, can I speak to Mr Shaker?"
"Speaking."
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Matthew 19:14
But Jesus said, 'Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.'
=
August 1914
But who in Christ told men: 'Off to serve and face the Boche'?
Millions from UK joined that summer, set off, then died.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
THE 12 GREATEST MINDS IN HUMAN HISTORY
1. Albert Einstein
2. William Shakespeare
3. Leonardo da Vinci
4. Charles Darwin
5. Sir Isaac Newton
6. Socrates
7. Wolfgang Amedeus Mozart
8. Sigmund Freud
9. Plato
10. Winston Churchill
11. Stephen Hawking
12. Thomas Edison
=
1. Wrote E-mc²
2. Hamlet bard
3. Styled the Mona Lisa
4. Showed us Man's origins
5. United the Laws of Motion
6. Worked on ethics
7. No. 1 classical musician
8. First shrink
9. Higher Learning pioneer
10. Trusted in a war
11. Changed universal law
12. Shaped amazing patents
2nd - Jason Lofts with:
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
=
World War I
Vow no quarter, boys!
After the wily, hostile Turks at Gallipoli, now fell the hard, piratical Hun.
The Hindenburg Line, the Spring Offensive, the Siege of Antwerp,
The Ardennes, Artois, Belleau Wood, Hulluch,
Liège, Loos, Neuve Chapelle,
Passchendaele, the Somme, Verdun, Ypres ...
That blood-red sky is insufferable sorrow for the dead and dying.
Wildflowers for the steadfast fellows who died boldly like knights.
Their widows, waifs and friends gasp and weep.
God knows what a waste of men.
Christ, why?
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
A truck driver from Manhattan frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the roadside. There was likely to be a high number of lawyers walking briskly along the road there. The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyer with his truck as he was speeding by. One day, he spotted a priest shuffling along and kindly stopped to give him a ride. Further on, as he drew near to the town itself he saw a lawyer.
~
Accelerating quickly, he veered his truck towards the lawyer ... but then remembered the priest He swerved awkwardly to the center, but he heard an awful, an appalling sound ... a strange thud. Looking fearfully in the rear view mirror, he observed that the lawyer was apparently OK , thank God, and now rolling away off across a field. He turned to the priest, saying, 'Father, I am sure I missed that lawyer!' The priest said: 'That's okay son ... I got him with the door.'
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Rolling Stone magazine's list of the one-hundred greatest singers of all time
01 Aretha Franklin
02 Ray Charles
03 Elvis Presley
04 Sam Cooke
05 John Lennon
06 Marvin Gaye
07 Bob Dylan
08 Otis Redding
09 Stevie Wonder
10 James Brown
11 Paul McCartney
12 Little Richard
13 Roy Orbison
14 Al Green
15 Robert Plant
16 Mick Jagger
17 Tina Turner
18 Freddie Mercury
19 Bob Marley
20 Smokey Robinson
21 Johnny Cash
22 Etta James
23 David Bowie
24 Van Morrison
25 Michael Jackson
26 Jackie Wilson
27 Hank Williams
28 Janis Joplin
29 Nina Simone
30 Prince
31 Howlin' Wolf
32 Paul "Bono" Hewson
33 Steve Winwood
34 Whitney Houston
35 Dusty Springfield
36 Bruce Springsteen
37 Neil Young
38 Elton John
39 Jeff Buckley
40 Curtis Mayfield
41 Chuck Berry
42 Joni Mitchell
43 George Jones
44 Bobby "Blue" Bland
45 Kurt Cobain
46 Patsy Cline
47 Jim Morrison
48 Buddy Holly
49 Donny Hathaway
50 Bonnie Raitt
51 Gladys Knight
52 Brian Wilson
53 Muddy Waters
54 Luther Vandross
55 Paul Rodgers
56 Mavis Staples
57 Eric Burdon
58 Christina Aguilera
59 Rod Stewart
60 Björk Gudmundsdóttir
61 Roger Daltrey
62 Lou Reed
63 Dion DiMucci
64 W. Axl Rose
65 David Ruffin
66 Thom Yorke
67 Jerry Lee Lewis
68 Wilson Pickett
69 Ronnie Spector
70 Gregg Allman
71 Frederick "Toots" Hibbert
72 John Fogerty
73 Dolly Parton
74 James Taylor
75 Iggy Pop
76 Steve Perry
77 Merle Haggard
78 Sly Stone
79 Mariah Carey
80 Frankie Valli
81 John Lee Hooker
82 Tom Waits
83 Patti Smith
84 Darlene Love
85 Sam Moore
86 Art Garfunkel
87 Don Henley
88 Willie Nelson
89 Solomon Burke
90 The Everly Brothers
91 Levon Helm
92 Morrissey
93 Annie Lennox
94 Karen Carpenter
95 Patti LaBelle
96 B.B. King
97 Joe Cocker
98 Stevie Nicks
99 Steven Tyler
100 Mary J. Blige
=
01 R-E-S-P-E-C-T
02 Brother Ray
03 The King
04 Wonderful World
05 Yoko's terminated consort
06 Through the grapevine
07 Whining jew
08 On the dock
09 Blind negro
10 Feeling good!
11 Yesterday
12 Awopbopaloobopalopbamboom!
13 Can't see
14 Reverend
15 Midlands rock god
16 Jumping Jack Flash
17 Simply the (seventeenth) best!
18 Majestic...he will rock you!
19 Enjoys joint
20 Miracle
21 Man In Black
22 At last
23 Major Tom
24 Irritable Norn Iron storyteller
25 Thriller
26 An entertainer
27 Stetson
28 Texan
29 Her baby just cares
30 Purple gnome
31 Blues lord
32 Patronising, pontificating pranny
33 Kept on running
34 Diva
35 Blue-eyed soul
36 The Boss
37 Wrinkly-looking joke
38 Ivory-tinkler
39 Grace
40 Sweetest feeling
41 Reeling and rocking
42 Canadian skirt
43 Country jigs
44 Renowned drinker
45 Nirvana
46 Crazy crooner
47 Door
48 Mr American Pie
49 Revered vocalist
50 Blues bird
51 Killed Me Softly
52 Beach Boy
53 He's a M...A...N.
54 Dancing with his father
55 Free
56 Living legend
57 Animal
58 "Dirrty" diva
59 Wrinkly old fossil
60 Shrill Iceland troll
61 Roar in The Who
62 New York Velvet legend
63 Doo-wop
64 G n' R wally
65 Temptation
66 Oh joy! Radiohead!
67 Killer
68 Mustang Sally
69 Phil's girl
70 Southern
71 Jamaican
72 C.C.R.
73 Nice bristols!
74 Sweet Baby James
75 "Car insurance salesman" jibes
76 Jerk in Journey
77 Fugitive
78 Jolly funky!
79 Vision of Love
80 Jersey boy ("Sherry")
81 Boom boom!
82 Gravelly growler
83 Skinny punk
84 She's a rebel
85 Soul jewel
86 Bright-eyed
87 Boy of Summer
88 Country outlaw
89 Soul Man
90 Joint harmony...Don and Phil
91 The Band
92 Miserable now
93 Eurythmic
94 Anorexic drummer
95 Lady Marmalade
96 Blues statesman
97 Sheffield tonsils
98 Siren
99 Aerosmith jester
100 Sorry..."Bilge"!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
[As a tribute to the late Robin Williams, the song Send in the Clowns is anagrammed into a poem about depression that contains a unique acrostic constraint detailed below:]
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.
Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
But where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.
Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.
=
The Pain Down In My Tortured Heart
Beyond the haunting roars of the abyss -
A well of woe that swallowed me each season -
One worthy memory of ancient bliss
Intruded on my nightmares for no reason.
The queer occurrence was a nightly thing,
When quiet thoughts try to ignite a spark -
Yet I learned how to numb their hurtful sting;
I'll never let it penetrate my dark.
Why promptly set one yearning spirit loose
When I, instead, can wallow in the muck
Or use one constant ache as an excuse
To curse my never-ending horrid luck?
I wait and greet, with no inherent soul,
The sun that rises in my window now.
I did have will once; now it's just a hole -
It's pacified beneath my weary brow.
[If we isolate one word from each line, we discover that this poem actually contains a shorter free-verse poem about Robin Williams with a relevant acrostic:]
The Pain Down In My Tortured Heart
Beyond the haunting roars of the abyss -
A well of woe that swallowed me each season -
One worthy memory of ancient bliss
Intruded on my nightmares for no reason.
The queer occurrence was a nightly thing,
When quiet thoughts try to ignite a spark -
Yet I learned how to numb their hurtful sting;
I'll never let it penetrate my dark.
Why promptly set one yearning spirit loose
When I, instead, can wallow in the muck
Or use one constant ache as an excuse
To curse my never-ending horrid luck?
I wait and greet, with no inherent soul,
The sun that rises in my window now.
I did have will once; now it's just a hole -
It's pacified beneath my weary brow.
Roars
Of
Bliss
Intruded
Nightly,
When
I
Let
Loose;
Instead,
As
My
Soul
Rises,
It's
Pacified.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God
An Ode by
John Milton Hayes
There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
He was known as "Mad Carew" by the subs at Khatmandu,
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell;
But for all his foolish pranks, he was worshipped in the ranks,
And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.
He had loved her all along, with a passion of the strong,
The fact that she loved him was plain to all.
She was nearly twenty-one and arrangements had begun
To celebrate her birthday with a ball.
He wrote to ask what present she would like from Mad Carew;
They met next day as he dismissed a squad;
And jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do
But the green eye of the little Yellow God.
On the night before the dance, Mad Carew seemed in a trance,
And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars:
But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile,
Then went out into the night beneath the stars.
He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and tunic torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was patched up right away, and he slept through all the day,
And the Colonel's daughter watched beside his bed.
He woke at last and asked if they could send his tunic through;
She brought it, and he thanked her with a nod;
He bade her search the pocket saying "That's from Mad Carew,"
And she found the little green eye of the god.
She upbraided poor Carew in the way that women do,
Though both her eyes were strangely hot and wet;
But she wouldn't take the stone and Mad Carew was left alone
With the jewel that he'd chanced his life to get.
When the ball was at its height, on that still and tropic night,
She thought of him and hurried to his room;
As she crossed the barrack square she could hear the dreamy air
Of a waltz tune softly stealing thro' the gloom.
His door was open wide, with silver moonlight shining through;
The place was wet and slipp'ry where she trod;
An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of Mad Carew,
'Twas the "Vengeance of the Little Yellow God."
There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
=
The Odd Man
There's a Spanish chalet-restaurant north-west of the Walworth Road,
Where they make the finest eggnog anywhere;
There's a fellow at the table by the window all alone,
And on Monday nights you'll catch him seated there.
A chap of little rank, a lowly teller in a bank,
He was chubby, middle-aged and shy as well,
All his days felt just the same; Donald Michael was the name
And the place was called the Casa Annabel.
When he'd sat that night at eight, chasing tacos round the plate,
He'd thought wryly of his impact on the world,
In the forty years of life, he had never had a wife,
To tell the truth, he'd never had a girl!
One final lager quencher then he'd wend his lonely way,
To that tatty, squalid bedsit in the town,
To bed to turn the light off on another faded day,
Then he'd wrap himself up in the eiderdown.
But at length his thoughts were jarred by the strum of a guitar,
That played the strident intro to Granada,
Through the curtain made of net came the clack! of castanets,
And Donald found his heart was beating harder!
Then she burst into the room, like a Spanish rose in bloom,
With her lovely lips a luscious ruby-red,
Stomped both heels then threw some shapes, twirled her long dress like a cape,
And each sensual move she made begged "come to bed!"
She swayed across the floor toward the place where Donald sat,
Her eyes, two burning jewels were locked on his,
And Donald sat there stiffly like a terrified meerkat,
With his head and heart a'flutter, and a'tizz.
Then Donald slowly felt that frozen fear begin to melt,
As he looked into the hot depths of her eyes,
Something strange was now occurring, and he felt his loins a'stirring,
And that tingle now had gone down to both thighs.
As the glow within him grew, all at once for sure he knew
He was the chubby bank teller no more,
Then he flew up from the seat, clapped his hands and stomped both feet,
Now he was Don Miguel the strong, tall toreador!
Their eyes were locked, both bodies arched, he matched her every move,
They generated sexual heat galore,
They strutted, writhed and wriggled, now both totally in the groove,
Ah, he was Don Miguel the toreador!
When the music stopped her eyes stayed locked, her warm hand touched his cheek,
"Wow, that was the best!" she sighed. "Wow!" he growled, and "Whew!
"Now I somehow know that you're the one, my legs have both gone weak!"
And the senorita said, "I feel that too."
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The lesbian relationship =
Oh, interest in labia helps!
2nd - nedesto with:
Men's huge erections =
Ten gruesome inches!
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Fucking the ugly ones =
Lucky the fungi's gone.
| Home | | The Anagrammy Awards | Enter the Forum | Facebook | The Team |  |
| Information | | Awards Rules | Forum FAQ | Anagrams FAQ | History | Articles | |
| Resources | | Anagram Artist Software | Generators | On-line | Books | Websites | |
| Archive | | Winners | Nominations | Hall of Fame | Anagrammasia | Literary | |
| Competition | | Vote | Current Nominations | Leader Board | Latest Results | Old Results | Rankings | |
| Miscellaneous | | Tribute Page | Records | Sitemap | Search | Anagram Checker | Email Us | Donate | |
| Anagrammy Awards | © 1998-2024 Last updated 10th May, 2016 |