Anagrammy Placegetters for January 2015
All the highly-placed anagrams from the January 2015 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
Dangerous obesity =
One boy's sugar diet.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
The religious fanatics =
Cause I fight is not real.
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The religious fanatics ~
fight tenacious Israel.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards =
Shrill geriatric into drugs takes no shit.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Mitt Romney bows out =
Bye to U.S. Mormon twit.
Eq2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Charlie Hebdo artist =
I bother the radicals.
Eq2nd - Adie Pena with:
"Paris est Charlie" ~
is rather special.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Codebreaker Alan Mathison Turing =
So that rare brain unlocked Enigma.
2nd - nedesto with:
Microsoft Technology Advisor Bill Gates =
Visions of Ctrl-Alt-Del got boy so mega-rich!
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
His Holiness Pope Francis =
His profession's in chapel.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
United States of America =
Can't our team defeat ISIS?
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The Maine Lobster Festival =
Street fans boil them alive.
3rd - Simon the Samaritan with:
San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge =
Long, big, red road facing sea scent.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - nedesto with:
AFI's list of top five greatest movies of all time:
1. Lawrence of Arabia
2. Ben-Hur
3. Schindler's List
4. Gone with the Wind
5. Spartacus
=
1. That epic O'Toole war film
2. Heston wins this race
3. Neeson tends after lives
4. Civil War affair befits Gable
5. Douglas triumphs
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
One day, Mary came up to Father O'Grady, quite
upset and in tears.
'What is wrong?' asked Father O'Grady.
'Oh, I've such really bad news.
=
I fear my husband, actor Mark, passed away early
today.'
'Grief! How tragic. So, did he have, er, any last
request?'
'One. Put the gun down...'
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
President Barack Obama's State of the Union Address
=
He spoke to Americans about debts and aid transfers.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
James Thurber
=
I love my dog for he is one loyal pet; a finer trait that few human beings have. Cats, however, are born evil - it isn't just my view... ask any bird!
2nd - Maurice Goddard with:
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber
=
* * * I CAN'T SEE * * *
My best pathway guiding friend ever,
Faithful Rover, no better saint,
Joy to a shy animal-lover,
Now lives with his maker above.
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber
=
You mean Fifi, that devil's spawn I hate that lives nearby and barks every moment, is going to live forever? No way! What horrible justice!
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Fergus in a steaming rage with a packed suitcase in his hand.
"What's happened Fergus?" she asks anxiously.
"What's happened? Oi'll tell ya what's happened. Oi sent an E-mail to me wife telling her that I was comin' home today from me fishin' trip. I got back... and guess what oi found? I found your daughter, me wife Bridget, naked with Paddy O'Toole in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, it's the end of our marriage. I'm done! I'm leavin' her forever!"
"Oh, calm down, Fergus," chides his mother-in-law. "There is somethin' very odd going on here. Bridget would never do such a thing! There has to be an explanation. I'll speak to her immediately and find out what happened."
Minutes later, the mother-in-law comes back in with a big smile on her face.
"Hey it's OK, Fergus, I told ya there must be a simple explanation didn't I?... She never got your E-mail!"
=
After living in the same remote countryside of Ireland all his life, Liam, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.
In one of the many shops, he picked up a wall-mirror and looked in it. Never having seen a mirror before, Liam was extremely surprised at the image he saw staring back at him.
'Wow! How about that?' he exclaimed, 'It's only a picture of me Poppa! Gee, dat's awesome!'
And so, thinking it really was a picture of his pa, he purchased the mirror. But on the way home Liam remembered his wife Mona didn't like his father, so he hung it up in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would have a look at it.
Liam's wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day after he'd left, she went there and found the new mirror hanging up.
Mona looked into the glass and fumed with anger: 'Ha!' she exploded, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with!'
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Two residents of a retirement home had been going out with each other for quite a long time. They decided it was finally time to get married.
They went out to dinner and had a long conversation about their pending marriage. They discussed their finances, living wills, etc.
At last, the plucky old gentleman decided it was about time to broach the subject of sex.
=
The communication that evening had been terrific, but still he felt tentative about mentioning intimate contact.
His body cringed, yet he proceeded with it in strategic diplomacy, 'Grace, dear, how do you feel about sex?'
'I would like it infrequently,' she giggled.
The man sat there for a moment, adjusted his glasses, and leaned towards her, "Is that one word or two?'
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Julian Lofts with:
Send in the Clowns
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air..
Where are the clowns?
Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move...
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair
Sure of my lines...
No one is there.
Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want...
Sorry, my dear!
And where are the clowns
Send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late in my career.
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns...
Well, maybe next year.
Stephen Sondheim
=
Draw The Cartoons
Charlie Hebdo
We mourn your loss.
Pens are mightier than the swords.
Charbonnier
Drew the cartoons
'I'm not afraid
Of retaliation
I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees.'
Draw the cartoons
Keep penning cartoons.
Yes, we love truth,
Yet we want fun.
Entertainment
Has enemies with a gun.
We should limit this nonsense
They will need cheering up.
Charlie Hebdo
Keep penning cartoons.
Why, why, why, why?
Mohammed is game.
Egg them on with wit,
Please draw cartoons.
We need cartoons -
Only funny,
Pithy, worthy.
An eye for an eye
(In Maori it's 'utu')
Quixotic tilting at windmills.
Nurture seventeen.
Who will draw the cartoons?
There should be cartoons...
Yes, they're essential!
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
From The British Soldier by Rudyard Kipling:
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
=
War Drill by Dharam
If you're hopelessly injured, in anguish and pain,
Legs taken off in rugged mountainous terrain,
Mind well-bred to stay stalwart, not kowtow or complain,
But, would you choose to try death before dishonour?
3rd - Adie Pena with:
POKING WITH STICKS (A POEM FOR CHARLIE HEBDO)
by Justin Barisich
As I read of your deaths
oceans apart
I haven’t poked the sleeping
giant in ages.
I’ve treaded softly
but have forgotten
the function
of the big stick:
not to steady the walk
but to shove others off theirs,
to knock their knees
out from under,
to steal the breaths
of their lungs
as their skin slaps
against hard ground.
The offended’s rules will never apply to us.
We’re here to push envelopes, not paper.
With every smile we crack
they crack
we make them crack
and the world releases
tension like knuckles –
loud, unrestrained, uncomfortable
in its pop and chemical pleasure.
Ours is a land without law,
and so our sticks must serve
a second purpose:
defend, parry, attack
like martial
arts like water
like rivers running
like oceans pooling
like tears falling.
May they be not of sadness,
but of joy,
for anything too true to be good.
=
PENSTROKES TO GUNSHOTS
To test known
Outspokenness,
Yes, we provoke
Said and Chérif Kouachi
to kill the softest footsteps --
Elsa Cayat
who wrote 'Le Divan';
Kill officer Franck Brinsolaro
Guarding editor of freedom et liberté
Stony Stéphane Charbonnier;
Typeset proofreader
Mustapha Ourrad.
Said and Chérif Kouachi
kill Université professor
Bernard Maris;
Maintenance worker
Frédéric Boisseau.
Kill Bernard Verlhac
a.k.a. Tignous;
Georges Wolinski
who loved that gypsy-past:
life, alcohol, women;
Said and Chérif Kouachi
kill the unlucky guest,
Vet journalist
Michel Renaud
Visiting Hara-Kiri founder
Jean 'Le Grand Duduche' Cabut;
Kill Philippe Honoré
Who got
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
To fluently spout
'Happy New Year.'
No costs to settle.
Spent on TV.
Ten steps taken,
Yes, to the streets,
They even attack
Muslim officer
Ahmed Merabet.
The strongest,
The weakest
See the setting sun.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Exploring a cute snatch =
Graphic sexual content.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
That distressing 'man problem' Peyronie's Disease =
Seems my penis has got a disorder; its plain, er... bent!
3rd - Adie Pena with:
La Dolce Vita's Kerstin Anita Marianne Ekberg =
Men love a rated star's elegant rack in a bikini.
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