Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2015

All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2015 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde =
How incredibly your portrait's face aged!

2nd - David Bourke with:
The singer Bono =
Note: He's boring!

3rd - View with:
Movie "Cinderella" =
Relive old cinema.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Iran's nuclear program =
An alarming precursor.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Hillary Rodham Clinton for US President =
She is dull and in control for the primary.

3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Baltimore =
Blame riot.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch =
That much-noted romantic BBC celebrity.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Female College Prof: "The idiots in the room may stand up."

Tom stands up.

"Why on one's feet?" Prof mocks Tom, "I'd keep it!"

A giggling Tom comments, "I hate to see you all alone."

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." —Douglas Adams=
Engineering any optimum tool?
Fool! That is a decidedly mammoth task, as a rule.
People often forget
The deep cosmos is yet
To know glimpsing the consummate fool.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely
foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams.
=
Poet named Shakespeare composed:
'A fool thinks he is intelligent, intelligent man considers himself a fool.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
A woman was being interviewed by a judge regarding her pending divorce.

"So, what are the grounds for this divorce?" he asked her.

She replied, "About two acres, and a nice little bungalow in the middle of the property, with a stream trickling by."

"No," he said, "I meant, what's the foundation of this case?"

"Well, I think it's made of concrete, bricks and mortar."

"No," he tutted, "I meant what are your relations like?"

"They're nice people. Matter of fact, my aunt and uncle live here in the town, as do my in-laws."

"Madam," he said, becoming somewhat frustrated, "do you have a proper grudge?"

"No," she replied. "We've got a two-car carport, so we don't really need one."

"Please," he attempted once more; "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Well, both my son and my daughter have hi-fi systems. We don't necessarily like their taste in music, but the short answer to your question is yes."

"Hmm... Tell me, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she replied, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge groaned, "Look, madam, tell me something - why do you want this divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want the divorce," she replied. "It's my husband who wants it. He says he can't communicate with me!"

=

A couple in their nineties were having problems remembering. During a medical check-up, the doctor told them they were quite okay physically, but they may need to start writing things down to help them remember...

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair. 'Do you need anything while I'm out in the kitchen?' he asked.

'Yes; can I have a bowl of vanilla ice cream, please?' said his wife

'Sure.'

'Er, don't you think you should just jot it down so you can remember it?' she ventured.

'No, it's not necessary, I can remember it.'

'Can you add some strawberries too? Maybe you should write it down, so you don't forget?'

'I won't forget," he assured her, "You want vanilla ice cream and strawberries.'

'Yes, and I'd also like some whipped cream, please. I am sure you'll forget that, write it down.'

'Hey, I do not need to write it down!' he snapped testily. 'I remember everything you said! Vanilla ice cream with some strawberries and whipped cream - I've got it, for goodness sake!' Then he wandered out to the kitchen.

The old man eventually returned after half-an-hour and handed his wife a plate of sausage, bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said...

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
One day a woman was in a supermarket. She'd chosen: the store's fresh orange juice, a half-carton eggs, litre of milk, head of lettuce, and a tiny pack of bacon slices. At the checkout, a drunk watched her.

Suddenly, he shouted loudly: 'YOU MUST BE SINGLE.'

The woman was surprised to hear an outburst by this down-and-out

~

since she was, indeed, single. She looked at her objects and was baffled; she saw nothing unusual amongst her selections that could perchance tip off the drunk as to her marital status. She said, 'Do you know, you are perfectly correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk man:

'Because, madam, you are ugly."

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The Most Powerful People in the World:

1. Vladimir Putin
2. Barack Obama
3. Xi Jinping
4. Francis
5. Angela Merkel
6. Janet Yellen
7. Bill Gates
8. Mario Draghi
9. Sergey Brin and Larry Page
10. David Cameron

=

1. Russian war villain and eternal jerk
2. Marxian president
3. Lead guy in China
4. Liberal pope
5. German madam
6. Fed chair
7. Wealthy Microsoft developer
8. Big bank gent
9. Google pair
10. Jolly Brit PM

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
From you have I been absent in the spring,
When proud-pied April dress'd in all his trim
Hath put a spirit of youth in every thing,
That heavy Saturn laugh'd and leap'd with him.
Yet nor the lays of birds nor the sweet smell
Of different flowers in odor and in hue
Could make me any summer's story tell,
Or from their proud lap pluck them where they grew;
Nor did I wonder at the lily's white,
Nor praise the deep vermilion in the rose;
They were but sweet, but figures of delight,
Drawn after you, you pattern of all those.
Yet seem'd it winter still, and, you away,
As with your shadow I with these did play.

=

A TIMELY SONNET

Sweet spring is in the air this time of year;
Pink flowers do break through winter's dreaded grey.
Rain falls upon the earth in droplets clear;
In muddy puddles youths will wildly play.
Now tulips fill up every shady bed;
Green turf ensued with shoots of timothy.
In far, wide opportunities ahead,
New upward growth with health, viridity.
Throughout the pretty trees around the lawn,
Hear honeybees resume their happy hum.
Embodied in the warmth of every dawn,
A hint of sultry summer yet to come.
It's time to dearly hail this season of
Renewal and rebirth of life and love.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
THE SPRING AND THE FALL

In the spring of the year, in the spring of the year,
I walked the road beside my dear.
The trees were black where the bark was wet.
I see them yet, in the spring of the year.
He broke me a bough of the blossoming peach
That was out of the way and hard to reach.

In the fall of the year, in the fall of the year,
I walked the road beside my dear.
The rooks went up with a raucous trill.
I hear them still, in the fall of the year.
He laughed at all I dared to praise,
And broke my heart, in little ways.

Year be springing or year be falling,
The bark will drip and the birds be calling.
There's much that's fine to see and hear
In the spring of a year, in the fall of a year.
'Tis not love's going hurt my days.
But that it went in little ways.

=

ECO-LOGICAL

Valley and shrub submerged at the start of the year;
I walked her path full of fear.
Like in her reply with the hymn of nihility
Came timidity at the start of the year.
As garbage stands in the babbling brook,
Now we both weep for the trees we took?

The winter is hellish at the end of the year,
She walked her path full of fear.
Energy bills pile up, there is no solution --
The pollution at the end of the year.
I inhale the air; hear the blind babies crying.
Now the frail people are rapidly dying.

Months are starting, months are ending;
Yesterday's high tide is fast ascending.
Little we learn, how much we fear
At the start of a year, at the end of a year.
Nights are dark, birthdays are bleak;
Damage is the dual rhythm we wreak.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
10 TRICKS TO APPEAR SMART AT BUSINESS MEETINGS

Here are ten brilliant tricks for quickly appearing smart at business meetings:

Like everyone else, the need to seem smart at meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your next nap, or just bacon. When this happens, it is useful to have some tricks to fall back on. Here are my ten top tips for quickly appearing smart at meetings.

1. Draw a Venn diagram.

Getting up and drawing a Venn diagram is one highly effective way of appearing smart. It does not matter if the diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the more off the mark it is, the better. Even before you have put that marker down, your colleagues will start to fight about what precisely the labels should be and how big the circles should be, etc. At this point, you can slink back to your chair and continue playing Candy Crush on your phone.

2. Pace around the room.

Whenever someone gets up from the table and walks around, don’t you immediately respect them? In my opinion, it takes a lot of guts but once you do it, you'll immediately appear smart. Fold your arms. Walk around. Go to the corner and lean against the wall. Emit a deep, contemplative sigh. Trust me, everyone will be shitting their pants wondering what the hell you're thinking. If only they knew (bacon).

3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back”.

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Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2015

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY