Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2015
All the highly-placed anagrams from the March 2015 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
The cigar consumer =
Cancer sure got him.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Fragrant diffuser sprays for use in the home =
Guy freshens up his room after a friend farts!
eq3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Presidential pardon =
Depart prison in deal.
eq3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? =
We said, "Only one, but she'll tighten it backwards." Boom!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Tony Blair's autobiography 'A Journey' =
'Our Years in a Top Job' by a lying author.
2nd - Mark Huffman with:
"Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice" =
"Us? Bravest two DC men, in fun pajamas!"
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope =
We arise, stop Vader, his weapon.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Senate Republicans =
True incapableness.
2nd - Dean Mayer with:
Lufthansa pilots =
That painful loss.
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Germanwings co-pilot, Andreas Lubitz =
Pilot Two indulging brazen massacre.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Author Christopher E. Hitchens =
Atheist hero; he isn't pro-church.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The writer, Dr Maya Angelou =
Literary woman rated huge.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The British actor Daniel Wroughton Craig =
A routine Bond with character got his girl.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Presidential White House, Washington DC, America =
This residence has a man with huge power located in it.
2nd - David Bourke with:
The British Broadcasting Corporation =
It bins that rich, sardonic Top Gear boor.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The Silk Road, the Asian Continent =
Links trade onto China in the East.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Paddy: "Oi found dis posh new Cartier pen, is it yours, Magrath?"
Magrath: "Oi don't know yet, show me it."
=
(tries out the pen) "Yep, it is moin for sure."
Paddy: "How do ya know?"
Magrath: "Cos dat's moi handwriting!"
2nd - Adie Pena with:
I am predicting that very soon the cyber giants Youtube, Twitter and Facebook will unite
~
in great countries to give birth to a publicly-traded site known by the name "YouTwitFace"!
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go!
=
May you summon not harm
'Bout but very good cheer,
As you swill a vast draught
O' green whisky or beer!
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
"I think wearable technology is becoming increasingly popular these days because~
designer ethics say so. Call me a puny technophobe but I like wearing only basic gear."
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
I think wearable technology is becoming increasingly popular these days because...
~
We are the Borg. You'll be linking data by occupying a machine. Resistance is hopeless.
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"I think wearable technology is becoming increasingly popular these days because...."
=
Topical
Electric
Classy
Here (USA)
New, big
On eBay
Linked in,
Or has best
Game
Young, hip
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
HAVING THE LAST LAUGH
I went into a supermarket today for literally five or six minutes. When I came back out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, "Hey, pal, why not be reasonable and give a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing. So I called him a bigoted, pencil-necked Nazi stormtrooper. He glared at me and began writing another ticket for worn tyres!
So I asked him if his psychiatrist always makes him lie face down on the couch because he's so pug-ugly.
He finished the second ticket and slapped it on the windscreen alongside the first. Then he began to write out a third one!
This went on until he had slapped a total of five tickets on the windscreen... the more insults I fired off, the more he wrote.
But hey, I wasn't overly bothered. My car was parked around the corner.
=
HAVING THE LAST WORD
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager were walking to lunch when they found a discarded oil lamp in the street.
The clerk picked it up, rubbed it and a genie spirit came out in a puff of smoke. The genie said, "I'm permitted to grant you three wishes, so I will give you one choice each."
"Me first!" cried the clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Then, poof! He was gone.
"Me next!" cried the rep. "I'd like to be in Hawaii, dancing on the beach with an endless supply of cocktails, and surrounded by dozens of stunning chicks attending to my every need." Poof! He was gone.
"Ok, now it's your turn," the genie said to their manager. The man replied, "Right, I want those two back at work after lunch."
The moral of the story is: Always let your boss have the first say.
2nd - Julian Lofts with:
A Selection of Twenty Two of The Most Beautiful and Most Momentous World Heritage Sites
1. Rapa Nui (Easter Island), Chile
2. Valletta
3. Yellowstone
4. Bagan, Myanmar (Burma)
5. Goreme National Park
6. Angkor, Cambodia
7. Acropolis, Athens, Greece
8. Petra
9. Galapagos Islands, Ecuador
10. Iguazu National Park, bordering...
11. The Great Barrier Reef
12. Hampi
13. Los Glaciares National Park, Argentina
14. Machu Picchu, Sacred City of the Incans, Cusco
15. Le Mont Saint-Michel, Lower Normandy, France
16. The Pyramids of Giza
17. The Serengeti, Tanzania
18. Sigiriya (Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon)
19. Tulum, Mexico
20. Venice, Italy
21. The Great Wall, China
22. The Taj Mahal, India
=
Rationale:
1. Gigantic Polynesian folklore deity figures (moai)
2. Malta seaport monuments
3. World's first (geothermal) National Park; redwoods
4. Stupa
5. Valley in Capadocchia, Turkey
6. Empire of Khmer
7. Ancient Greek citadel
8. Desert city
9. Archipelago; iguanas
10. ...Argentina and Brazil - turbulent waterfall
11. Ecosystem of coral
12. Hot India
13. Perito Mereno glacier
14. What a green 'Lost City'
15. Eleventh century abbey
16. Dozens of tombs, Great Sphinx
17. 'Maasai Mara', Tanzania, Africa
18. 'Lion Mountain'
19. Mayan ruins
20. Charismatic architectural masterpiece, lagoon, gondolas
21. 'Wanli Changcheng'
22. Shah Jahan's elite white marble mausoleum, Agra
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The Top Ten Most Influential Scientists:
10. Marie Curie
9. Alan Turing
8. Niels Bohr
7. Max Planck
6. Charles Darwin
5. Leonardo da Vinci
4. Galileo Galilei
3. Nikola Tesla
2. Albert Einstein
1. Sir Isaac Newton
=
10. Radioactive insight
9. AI machine test
8. Nuclear notions
7. His radiation law
6. A life explanation
5. Brilliance, skill, designs
4. An abler telescope
3. Alternating current
2. M-E link, rules
1. Motion laws
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
A STRANGE WILD SONG
By
Lewis Carroll
He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realize,' he said,
'The bitterness of life! '
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
'I'll send for the police! '
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak! '
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us! '
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a Coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill! '
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed! '
He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said:
'The nights are very damp! '
He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me! '
He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope! '
=
FINAL LEG
He thought he saw a peach that was
The same size as a truck
He looked again and found that it
Was Kim Kardashian's butt!
'I've never seen a peach,' he said,
'That's had a nip and tuck!'
He thought he saw a tiger shark
Perched there upon the stair,
He looked again and found it was
The wide-mouthed Cherie Blair.
'It's not a pretty sight,' he said,
'Thank God she isn't bare!'
He thought he saw a turtle on
Its hind-legs eating pie,
He looked again and found it was
The dreadful Stephen Fry.
'I do not like the guy.' he said,
'No matter how I try.'
He thought he saw some plasticine
Formed into something bland,
He looked again and found it was
The bug-eyed Miliband.
'If Ed should come to tea,' he said,
'Are bacon sarnies planned?'
He thought he saw a slab of meat
Draped round a pair of breasts,
He looked again and found that it
Was Lady Ga Ga's dress.
'Is that the Queen of Pop?' he said,
'She looks a bloody mess!'
He thought he saw a waxwork it
Was really very foul,
He looked again and found it was
A fading Simon Cowell.
'I see your Botox cream,' he said,
'Was laid on with a trowel!'
He thought he heard the Bee Gees
Sing falsetto in the night,
He looked again and found his under-
Pants were on too tight
'Get help!' he yelped, 'It feels as if
'Both balls are in a vice!'
He thought he saw a pop star dude
Who felt he was so cool,
But looked again and found it was
The wilful Bieber fool.
'I'll get a cop to cart him off,'
He yelled, 'the boy's a tool.'
He thought he saw a puffin
Down in Memphis, Tennesee
He looked again and found that it
Was Elvis up a tree.
'Though it's a ruddy noise,' he said,
'At least it's all for free!'
2nd - Adie Pena with:
PART TWO: NATURE
LXXXVIII
WE like March, his shoes are purple,
He is new and high;
Makes he mud for dog and peddler,
Makes he forest dry;
Knows the adder’s tongue his coming,
And begets her spot.
Stands the sun so close and mighty
That our minds are hot.
News is he of all the others;
Bold it were to die
With the blue-birds buccaneering
On his British sky.
=
EASTER EGGS
MMXV
I like March, he swooshed like a toad.
Lithe as the bunny;
Youthful as the shrewd Peter Rabbit,
Dogged and funny.
Interested, I miss her charms
Confounded. Around
Kind words which shatter the sad groom,
I got hardships, bound.
Next there is April, expecting
Soon it will be Easter.
"Open mother's basket," he shushed.
"Now I will kiss her!"
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Erections in sleep =
Penile secretions.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Happy scorer ~
pops a cherry.
3rd - Jason Lofts with:
Man tugs on erect ~
tumescent organ.
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