Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2018

All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2018 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A present we get on Christmas Day =
Some itchy sweater Grandpa sent.

2nd - View with:
The excrement's ~ extreme stench!

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Heavy snow forecast =
Very often saw chaos

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The song 'Twelve Days of Christmas' =
"Several modest gifts? Why not cash?!"

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Hans Christian Andersen's 'The Little Match Girl' =
Chillness in that heart-rending Christmas tale.

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles =
Harmonisers back notes in melody

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Theresa May postponing Brexit vote =
Her next move? Operating to bypass it.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
The partial government shutdown =
What Trump does -- nothing relevant!

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
'Tis the season to be jolly =
Not easily to the jobless.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The three wise men Melchior, Gaspar and Balthasar =
The Magi shall reach Him and bestow a rare present.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The American President, Donald Trump =
Important leader ... and resident chump!

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Prime Minister Theresa May =
Me? 'Remainers' hate my spirit!'

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Rosie Perera with:
Suicide Prevention Hotline =
It induces inner hope to live.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Wildlife Photographer of the Year Competition =
Filmed the hippo, wolf, tiger, ape, rhino, rat, coyote.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Flying Spaghetti Monster =
Left many theists groping.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
The Church minister began fervently to pray: "Dear Lord," he said,
with a look of rapture on his face, "without you we are but dust..."
~
Then one horrified wee girl Annie, a four-year-old, spoke
audibly:

"Oo, what is butt dust??"

Church was pretty much over after that.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Britain's Top Four Christmas Carols
1. Silent Night
2. O Holy Night
3. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
4. In the Bleak Mid Winter
=
1. Sing it like a hymn
2. Sings of the Lord
3. Triumphal song that celebrates a new-born King!
4. It chills this iron-hard earth

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:

Five Greatest Ice Cream Flavors

1. Chocolate Chip
2. Strawberry
3. Cookies And Cream
4. French Vanilla
5. Fudge Brownies

=

Five Of The Worst (But Real) Ice Cream Flavors

5. Chicken Wings
4. Vinegar
3. Caramel-Bacon
2. Charcoal
1. Deep Fried Oysters

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Stristopher Churdy with:
"In a game of 'Kiss\Marry\Kill', which three personalities would you instantly pick for each segment and what would be the reasons for it?"
=
Kiss: Rachel Riley - has a nice figure.
Marry: Susie Dent - a wife thinks of words.
Kill: The Countdown people who lost that one Anagrammy bit.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
"In a game of 'Kiss\Marry\Kill', which three personalities would you instantly pick for each segment and what would be the reasons for it?"
=
KISS SINGER: How we honour the diplomat as a pal
MARRY CHRISTMAS: You can beget the fat St. Nick
KILL ROY: No unidentified fellow was here.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
"In a game of 'Kiss\Marry\Kill', which three personalities would you instantly pick for each segment and what would be the reasons for it?"
=
KISS: Bond. Passionately! Heroic young man.
MARRY: Mr Wonderful. A life hero. Raise two kids.
KILL: The Witch of the West. Encapsulating hate.

2nd - Julian Lofts with:
The Most Influential Films of All Time Compiled By The University of Turin

1. The Wizard of Oz
2. Star Wars
3. Psycho
4. King Kong
5. 2001: A Space Odyssey
6. Metropolis
7. Citizen Kane
8. The Birth of a Nation
9. Frankenstein
10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
11. Casablanca
12. Dracula
13. The Godfather
14. Jaws
15. Nosferatu
16. The Searchers
17. Cabiria
18. Dr Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
19. Gone With the Wind
20. Battleship Potemkin
=
We see that these created the most spinoffs and mentions

1. Frank Baum
2. Notwithstanding Nazi elements
3. Alfred Hitchcock
4. Fay Wray on the Empire State Building
5. Wise HAL
6. Fritz Lang
7. Orson Welles
8. Civil War, nationhood
9. Boris Karlov
10. A Walt Disney fantasy
11. Humphrey Bogart
12. Tod Browning
13. Francis Ford Coppola
14. Spielberg
15. Vampire
16. John Ford
17. Viewed at the White House
18. Zany Kubrick, he’s too OTT!
19. Scarlett O’Hara
20. Eisenstein

3rd - Adie Pena with:
The Ten Best Holiday Movies of All Time (according to Parents Magazine)
1. A Christmas Story
2. Arthur Christmas
3. Elf
4. It’s a Wonderful Life
5. Miracle on Thirty-fourth Street
6. The Muppet Christmas Carol
7. The Nightmare Before Christmas
8. Prancer
9. The Santa Clause
10. White Christmas
=
1. But that air rifle is best, Mommy!
2. My favorite son?
3. Ferrell's tactics amaze
4. He has hope with that angel
5. Drama in the courtroom
6. Miss Piggy's attempt as Mrs. Cratchit
7. Characters for Halloween
8. The forest reindeer is hurt
9. Can the rich Tim Allen pass for...
10. Hit tune turned classic.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
AWAY IN A MANGER
A Traditional Carol

Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Laid down His sweet head

The stars in the bright sky
Look down where He lay
The little Lord Jesus
Asleep on the hay

The cattle are lowing
The Baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying He makes

I love Thee, Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky
And stay by my side
'Til morning is nigh

Be near me, Lord Jesus
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me, I pray

Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to Heaven
To live with Thee there
=

MY REAL WORTH

*My keen Christmas wish here is
To help all I meet,
Share joy and goodwill
As I walk down the street.

To give my time freely
And ask not for pay,
And cherish that duty
Every minute, each day.

To reward the jobless,
Even though I am broke,
And hide noble deeds
With a shrug or a joke.

To seek to be jolly,
Decent, godly, serene,
And toil restlessly,
Bear these said tasks unseen.

To buy all the beers
When I go to a bar,
The landlord at the inn
Will think I am a star.

I'll carry a banner,
Reading 'Jesus Is Love',
(*If I win the lottery,
Cancel all the above).

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
How To Give a Cat a Pill

So, you get a cat for Christmas and, unfortunately, after the dining excesses of that festive season it gets sick. After the vet prescribes gigantic pills, here are detailed instructions for exactly what to do next.

* Pick the cat up and cradle it gently in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to its cheeks. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

* Retrieve pill from floor and cat from beneath sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process, while holding pill in right hand.

* Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

* Take another pill from foil wrapper while cradling cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

* Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from outside.

* Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

* Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrapper. Make note to buy new ruler and have curtains mended. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

* Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow into straw.
~
* Check label to make sure pills are not harmful to humans, while drinking glass filled with fruit juice to take awful taste away. Affix germicidal cream and Bandaid to spouse's forearm. Remove blood from carpet with stiff-bristled brush and pail filled with water and hydrogen peroxide.

* Retrieve hiding cat from flowerpot in neighbor's garden shed. Pull out another pill. Place cat in cupboard. Gently close door on neck, leaving just head showing. Force cat's mouth open with spoon, Flip pill into throat with elastic band.

* Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek, while checking records for date of latest tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch one from bedroom.

* Phone Fire Department to retrieve cat out of tree across the road. Offer apologies to neighbor who ran into fence while not wanting to hit cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

* Try to outwit cat. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Try to find heavy multi-layer pruning gloves in garden shed. Firmly push pill in mouth, followed by large piece of raw fish. Hold head up and attempt to pour full liter of water down throat to wash down pill.

* After cursing argument, have glum spouse drive you to ER. Fill out forms, watch in pain, trying to remain respectful and smile, when doctor examines fingers, applies stitches to cuts, and retrieves pill fragments from eye. Call furniture store to order new dining room table.

* Lie and arrange for Animal Control to transfer willful cat to local shelter. Phone pet shop to ask if they have any hamsters.

Whew! Goodwill to all!

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:

Santa's Christmastime Pleasures =
This means a Mrs. Claus striptease!

2nd - View with:
Ex- Miss Kentucky Ramsey Carpenter =
A sexy stunner makes my prick erect

3rd - Simeon Galavar with:
On your phone, watching ~
porn? Yeah, touching now!