Anagrammy Placegetters for June 2019

All the highly-placed anagrams from the June 2019 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The sins of the father ~
often shaft the heirs.

2nd - George Missailidis with:
Teenager's bedroom =
Bet an odor emerges.

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
I'm feeling under the weather =
We need further healing time.

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Munch's Norwegian masterpiece painting 'The Scream' =
An insane grimace when I'm reacting to Trump's speech?

2nd - Ellie with:
The Bond movie villain =
Mad, evil, then... oblivion!

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat =
The majestic clothing a chap ordered on Amazon?

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Bill Dorner with:
Make America Great Again =
I make a migrant cage area.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Tory politician Michael Andrew Gove ~
howled: "I'm partial to cocaine every night!"

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Reaction from the migrant processing centers =
"Referring to concentration camps seems right." :(

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Melania Trump, Slovenia-born First Lady of the USA =
Remains slavishly married to a petulant buffoon.

2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sarah Elizabeth Huckabee Sanders =
A brazen hack rehashes a busted lie.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Stephen Edwin King, an author =
It's a haunting work he penned.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
The US Department of Homeland Security =
They often separated out mums' children.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The title: President of the United States of America =
Trump desecrates the definition of that elite seat.

3rd - David Bourke with:
Glastonbury Pyramid Stage =
My band's got guitar players!

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Anagrammy Forum hits a historic number of two-hundred-thousand posts. That is incredible! =
It's such a fitting moment for us to honour Larry Brash. And, amid this, we are much indebted to HSP.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
=
Guy had iffy line to woo a lady but I am dubious he said it aloud.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
The World’s Three Largest Lakes
1. Caspian Sea
2. Superior
3. Victoria
=
1. Top seller there is caviar
2. Shipwreck stories. Lots!
3. Uganda area.

2nd - David Bourke with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
Why worship like there's life after death? How naive!
Get in and use search engines like www.google.com!

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
'Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.' - William Shakespeare.
=
I claim specialised knowledge few else have! When going "Wherefore art thou?", it's asking *why*, not *where*.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Nutty top songs to give any cynical grandpa joy (very loud, anyway!)

Once, Twice, Three Times to the Toilet by the Commodores
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip? the BeeGees
These Boots Gave Me Ankle Swellin' by Nancy Sinatra
When I'm Ninety-Four by the Beatles
Wakin' In a Hospital by Beastie Boys
Twilight Urgency (Hurry!) the Platters
Hall of Pain by Will.I.Am~
I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles
Talkin' Bout My Medication by the Who
You Can't Always Pee When You Want from the Rolling Stones
I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye
You're So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon
I Can't See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash Gaye
It was Constipation, I know by Nat King Cole
Let Me Pee by the Beatles

2nd - Ellie with:

An eighty-year-old Scotsman went to a doctor for a check-up.
The doctor was amazed at what good shape the old fellow was in and asked: 'How do
you stay in such great condition?'
'I'm Scottish and I'm a golfer. I get up well before daylight and go out golfing;
also I have a wee glass of whisky... and that's it.'
'I'm sure that helps,' said the doctor, 'but there has to be more to it. How old
was your Dad when he died?'
'Who said he's dead?'
'You mean you're eighty and your Dad's still living?'
'He is one hundred years old. In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we
went to the topless beach for a walk, had another wee dram and that's why he is still
alive. He is a proud Scot and he is a golfer, too.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'that is really great,
~
but I'm sure that there's more to it than that. So what about your Dad's Dad? How old
was he when he died?' the doctor asked.
'Who said my Grandad is dead?'
'Wait! You mean you're eighty years old, happy, and your grandfather's still alive, is
OK, too? Oh, fantastic. It's incredible! How old is he?'
'He is one hundred and eighteen years old,' said the old Scot.
The doctor was shocked at this point. 'Oh, honestly?? And I suppose he went golfing
himself with you all this morning as well?'
'Well, no. Grandad couldnae this time, because he's marrying a Czechoslovak gal who is
also a golf fanatic, today.'
'Get...getting married?!' scoffed the doctor, 'What?? Oh, please! Why ever would a fellow
of that late age want to get married?'
'Who said he wanted to?'

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time, a young girl asked her guy to marry her.
He said "No" and the young girl lived happily ever after, went shopping, drank martinis, went clubbing, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed thin and farted just whenever she wanted to.
THE END
=
GAS LEAKS:
An old married couple, Patty and Kenneth, were attending a service in church. Halfway through evening prayers, Patty leant over to her husband and whispered solemnly, "Oh my God, Kenneth, I've just done two silent farts, what should I do?"
He said, "Get a new battery for your hearing-aid."

2nd - George Missailidis with:
Sonnet No. Eighty by William Shakespeare

O, how I faint when I of you do write,
Knowing a better spirit doth use your name,
And in the praise thereof spends all his might,
To make me tongue-tied, speaking of your fame!
But since your worth (wide as the Ocean is)
The humble as the proudest sail doth bear,
My saucy bark (inferior far to his)
On your broad main doth wilfully appear.
Your shallowest help will hold me up afloat,
Whilst he upon your soundless deep doth ride;
Or (being wreck'd) I am a worthless boat,
He of tall building and of goodly pride:
Then if he thrive and I be cast away,
The worst was this; my love was my decay.

=

Her I Avoid As I Finish My Pities' Paranoia

For you I long'd, while for your beau, why, naught!
Aglow your beauty was, yet not his heart;
Regardless if of him the Earth you thought,
Enough from fact his words were to depart.
When passion packs a human by a soul,
Ebullience by a soul due fills a body;
Lo, yet, how love transcends this spoken whole,
Lest he should long as I do! (or be godly).
My heart therefrom, I weep, did shine but splinter,
Yet learn'd am I to make mine bittersweet:
Led if to blanket (as fear doth) in winter,
And wow'd (as if 'neath summer's happy treat).
Do I appal or hope? Well, I can't dim
Your wish to be so kind to wicked him.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
ALL IN JUNE
by William Henry Davies

A week ago I had a fire
To warm my feet, my hands and face;
Cold winds, that never make a friend,
Crept in and out of every place.

Today the fields are rich in grass,
And buttercups in thousands grow;
I'll show the world where I have been--
With gold-dust seen on either shoe.

Till to my garden back I come,
Where bumble-bees for hours and hours
Sit on their soft, fat, velvet bums,
To wriggle out of hollow flowers.
=
TRULY FREE?

I'm a bullfight survivor of Spain,
Numb at some wild obscene fiesta.
Drubbed with wretched religion;
Endlessly having a twelfth siesta!

Proffered through obese America's
Entertainment then from Hollywood.
Now chewing the burgers and fries of
Disney-Marvel's callow childhood!

Eventually doomed to serve Japan,
Now cowed there with the short stay.
China and Korea today makes us
Eager for well-built Kia and Huawei!

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
She's a hot stripper =
She has proper tits!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Wears a mankini =
As in 'I'm a wanker'.

3rd - AA with:
Good Morning Britain co-host Piers Morgan =
A moronic, dog-rogering, misanthropist nob