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Ironic
by Alanis Morissette
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
When you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic... and yeah, I really do think...
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out.
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Now, How Was That Ironic?
Dear Alanis,
Although I am a huge fan of yours and enjoy your work in general, I couldn't help giggling
upon hearing these lyrics, especially when they unyieldingly ask: "Isn't it ironic...
Don't you think?"
...Well, no, I don't. *You'd* like to think that 'unlucky' was a fine synonym, when, if you
had looked that word up, you would have known that you are way off. In fact, it has long
been established that not a single one of the situations that take place in your text conveys
in any way the pure meaning of irony; instead, they were aptly identified by the pundits as
'just a lot of annoying bummers'.
What they lack is that tiny and sudden twist. In the first lines you have unwittingly defined
a guy that's a tad shy of a hundred dropping dead as 'ironic'. Huh? Where is the twist? I'd
find it odd if he *lived* another sunny day...
Finally, I thought you might get a kick out of the few offhand samples of genuine irony
I've worked on (again, as a fan), and maybe even use them as addenda to your song:
"It's like a fire in the Water Department..."
"It's like an airborne, heavy food-kit crushing a weak African kid..."
"It's like someone dedicating a song to irony, when, funnily enough, the only hidden irony
is in failing to do so."
Yours truly,
Mey K.
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