<Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2008


1st - Rick Rothstein with:
A lesbian romance =
I can bear no males.

2nd - Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Order Chinese take out food =
Adored the fortune cookies!

3rd - John Fidler with:
Nightmare =
A REM thing.

Adie Pena with:
Guilty as charged =
Edgy liar's caught!

View with:
Oh, retain Red Natives in ~
the Indian reservation.

Tony Crafter with:
Winter's song =
Resting snow.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Four fingers and a thumb =
Big hand for man's future.

Ellie Dent with:
The bleak mid-winter =
The dark time blew in.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Teenage children ‡
Enlightened race.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Free hospital treatments ~
meant profitless theatre.

Rosie Perera with:
A child custody dispute =
Couples said, "Ditch duty!"

Rosie Perera with:
Oklahoma City goal: to lose one million pounds =
Oh, look! A community all goes on a diet pill soon.

Ten-Wide Jong Li with:
Jesus stated familiar horror: ~
"Is this for real, or just a dream?"

Rosie Perera with:
Transnationalism =
Romans in Atlantis.

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Poker tournament =
Poor men take turn!

Neil Ramsay with:
Lentil Madras =
Radiant smell.

Larry Brash with:
Beef Vindaloo ~
be an evil food.

Ten-Wide Jong Li with:
Positive / Neutral / Negative =
It gave universe "potential".

Neil Ramsay with:
Any parent getting sick? =
A pregnancy testing kit!

Andrew Brehaut with:
American president =
Maniac is pretender.

View with:
An added ~

View with:
Pantheist =
In the past.

John Fidler with:
A little alcohol can be healthy =
The bacchanal? Yell a "hello" to it!

Ten-Wide Jong Li with:
One, three, five, seven, nine =
See "non-even five" therein.

Rosie Perera with:
The rising gas prices =
I resent piggish cars.

Rosie Perera with:
Missing Person Alert =
Minor slain? Get press!

Ten-Wide Jong Li with:
Penguins, Pirates, or Steelers? =
Enterprises in sport leagues.

Neil Ramsay with:
Ke ogg-ni inps nu-te sa =
Speaking in tongues.

Rosie Perera with:
"Change We Can Believe In" =
Begin anew? A cliche, even.

John Fidler with:
Dentist shortage =
Teeth rot, sad sign.

Ten-Wide Jong Li with:
The mysteries of magnetism =
Mighty fastener sometimes.

Mick Tully with:
Spider Biofuel =
Fib! Pour diesel.

David Bourke with:
Anti-Islamic =

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Carbonated soft drinks =
It stands for Coke brand?

Rick Rothstein with:
Smoking will cause cancers =
"Wrecks one's lungs", I acclaim.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Net points =
Top tennis!

Tony Crafter with:
Media coach =
A mad choice!

Rosie Perera with:
Motivational speaker =
O, I'm a talkative person.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Observing trite, contradictory, selfish ~
Chris Roycroft- Davis' internet blogsite.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Clinical psychologists =
Solacing ill psychotics.

John Fidler with:
A gift voucher =
Give 'Uh?' factor.

Rosie Perera with:
Christian theology =
Holy trio's teaching.

Larry Brash with:
I am all dressed up and no where to go =
Other gender is dolled up as a woman.

Bryan Crain with:
A merry tar =
"Arrr, matey!"

Paul Pan with:
Anal retentive =
Neat, neat liver.

Neil Ramsay with:
Horseracing's ~
Nags or riches.

Rosie Perera with:
Anagrams as weapons of mass destruction =
American woman fusses at a dragon's posts.


1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
William Shakespeare's "The Tempest" =
Will's theme is "Sea keeps them apart!"

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Miss America Contest =
Master cosmeticians.

3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
The Robert Burns classic "Auld Lang Syne" =
A tune sung by shrill and cerebral Scots.

Adie Pena with:
The Robert Burns classic "Auld Lang Syne" =
Sung year-end across all Brit clubs then?

View with:
See fine, new 'n' great ~
Gwen Renee Stefani!

Ellie Dent with:
The Victorian Pre-Raphaelite painter, Millais =
I interpret a small, pathetic Ophelia, in a river.

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Aliens vs Predator Requiem =
Required movie rental?....PASS!

View with:
Gwen Renee Stefani =
A fine 'n' sweet genre.

Scott Gardner with:
The writer Sappho of Mytilene =
Top females within her poetry.

Adie Pena with:
Genesis reunion =
Genuine seniors

Tony Crafter with:
The Las Vegas entertainment industry =
Stars and teeth glitter in many venues!

John Fidler with:
California Dreaming =
A Girlfriend In A Coma.

Ellie Dent with:
The New 'American Idol' Talent Show =
A win that heartened Simon Cowell!

Ellie Dent with:
California Dreamin' =
American in Florida?

John Fidler with:
The 'Carry On' Films =
"Infamy!" chortlers.

Larry Brash with:
The 'Carry On' Films =
Filthy romancers.

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles =
Machines rise, then can't control a horror!

John Fidler with:
An actor's life for me =
Inlet for Oscar fame!

Adie Pena with:
Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece =
Mona Lisa's a concept I did revere.

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
How It's Made =
I saw method.

Rosie Perera with:
Vienna Vegetable Orchestra =
Herbivores' event at a glance.

David Bourke with:
Vienna Vegetable Orchestra =
Clarinet ravages "Beet hoven".

Rick Rothstein with:
Ape met girl, but dies in ~
Empire State Building.

John Fidler with:
Daniel Day-Lewis =
I'll win dead easy.

Rosie Perera with:
"A media expert's view of the world" =
Pilfer, thieve, add some extra "wow".

Paul Pan with:
Quantum of Solace =
A useful OO, M 'n' Q act!

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
A Momentary Lapse of Reason =
A person may almost fear one!

John Fidler with:
Reservoir Dogs =
Grosser video, 'R'.

Adie Pena with:
Golden Earring's "When The Lady Smiles" =
Hillary theme song sends weird angle.

Andrew Brehaut with:
American Gangster =
Mastering carnage.

John Fidler with:
Arctic Monkeys =
Is rocky NME act.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Oscars awards ceremony, '08 =
Camera on cow's dress, 80th year.


1st - David Bourke with:
Britney Spears loses the custody of her two children =
Total psycho-witch, she surrenders boys to Federline.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Winehouse in rehab =
When I abuse heroin.

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Recall the grim death of ~
film actor Heath Ledger.

Rosie Perera with:
Bhutto murdered by assassin =
But she's died as martyr. (Bonus!)

Andrew Brehaut with:
Kenyan diplomatic efforts =
It deters panic of many folk.

Neil Ramsay with:
Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey =
Legal Notary may rebuke the CIA's men.

David Bourke with:
Fire at the Royal Marsden Hospital =
Flames soar rapidly in hot theatre.

Adie Pena with:
One Laptop Per Child =
Cheap old Intel prop.

Adie Pena with:
Sen. Barack Obama and Gov. Michael Huckabee =
Back home, a black American vs a huge bad one?

Tony Crafter with:
Sir Paul McCartney undergoes secret angioplasty =
A crude appliance to unclog singer's artery-system.

Ten-Wide Jong Li with:
I voted for George Walker Bush =
Gov't. rogue, war bloke. He's fired!

Rosie Perera with:
The Britney Spears - Kevin Federline custody battle =
Flirt is desperate to see children, but taken by envy.

Rosie Perera with:
GOP candidate Romney wins, ~
endorsed in a Wyoming pact.

Ellie Dent with:
New Year's Day, Two Thousand and Eight =
With dawn gone, Tuesday's another day!

Adie Pena with:
Concord, New Hampshire =
Pro-McCain herd: "He's won!"

View with:
Clinton defeats Obama in the primary =
A rich female ain't 'dirt' - tops ebony man.

Adie Pena with:
The White House, Washington D.C. =
Which she's out to win and get, eh?

Neil Ramsay with:
Bush to "tidy-out" Israel? =
I seriously doubt that.

View with:
Jones Sentenced to Six Months in Prison =
Minx injects shots to speed ? No-no, sinner!

Rosie Perera with:
Michael Huckabee for President =
Ark. Republican chief seemed hot.

Don Rogers with:
Barack Hussein Obama? =
No, as I am a Bush backer!

View with:
'Oprah Winfrey Network' =
Ratify her known power.

Rosie Perera with:
Get out of jail free card =
Great for a deceitful O.J.

David Bourke with:
British Airways - "The World's Favourite Airline" =
Due Heathrow arrival flies in bits. It is a worry!

John Fidler with:
Scrabulous =
A club sours.

John Fidler with:
Bid chessboard 'bye' if ~
Bobby Fischer is dead.

Adie Pena with:
The 64 black and white squares of a regular chessboard ~
equals U.S.-born B. Fischer dead at 64. What a regal shocker!

Adie Pena with:
United States November presidential election? =
It's evident Obama's encountered little in peers.

Adie Pena with:
Miss America Kirsten Haglund ~
is U.S. market machine's darling.

Larry Brash with:
Former Indonesian President, Suharto =
Asian Fuhrer, monster or inept don, dies.

Rosie Perera with:
Former Indonesian dictator Suharto =
A modern iron autocrat sort, finished.

~relates grabs. with:
Miss America Kirsten Haglund =
Striking! Charmed males in USA.

Rick Rothstein with:
Miss America Kirsten Haglund =
This unmarried gal can kiss me.

John Fidler with:
The writers' strike =
'Shirkers!', we titter.


1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Democrat Senator Barack Hussein Obama =
A rare, honest American asked to combat Bush.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Illinois Democrat senator, Barack Hussein Obama =
A black icon has ideas to terminate serial moron Bush.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The late mountaineer, Sir Edmund Percival Hillary =
And he loved cruel Himalayas until retirement. RIP.

View with:
Diana, the Princess =
Cheap and sinister.

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Tracey Edmonds =
Come try Ed's DNA.

Rosie Perera with:
Professor Witi Tame Ihimaera-Smiler =
Maori writer has a lifetime's promise.

Adie Pena with:
The German doctor Klaus Maertens =
Great trademark on men's cult shoe.

Tony Crafter with:
The Scientology cult leader David Miscavige ~
lets Tom Cruise give godly and ethical advice.

Ellie Dent with:
The American astronaut, N. A. Armstrong =
Moon race: that man returning as a star!

Rosie Perera with:
Sir Edmund Hillary =
Under myriad hills.

Larry Brash with:
Mountaineer Sir Edmund Percival Hillary =
Lad, in pain, murmured, "Chilly air on Everest".

David Bourke with:
The Labour Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hain =
Transparency? Renowned, habitual porkies. So there!

Adie Pena with:
Omar Osama bin Laden =
I am an Arab model son.

walt3965 with:
Chris Roycroft-Davis is the King of the Media Jungle =
Sight of the sad rug on the jerk is very comical, I find.

John Fidler with:
Peter Gerald Hain =
Depart in glare, eh?

Tony Crafter with:
Welsh Secretary Peter Hain =
Rather creepy wealthiness.

Adie Pena with:
The eccentric millionaire Howard Robard Hughes =
Their irritable chronic recluse who had gone mad.

Larry Brash with:
Chris Roycroft-Davis, King of the Media Jungle =
Oh, my God! Sir's a vain, conceited, frightful jerk!

Adie Pena with:
Artist and writer Edward Gorey =
Weird story and weird art. Great!

Larry Brash with:
President Suharto =
Southeastern drip.

Scott Gardner with:
Andre "The Giant" Roussimoff =
Fighter is enormous and fat.

David Bourke with:
The M.P. Derek Leslie Conway =
Wealthy, liked recompense.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Democrat John Edwards =
Reject had no mad words.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Jeremy James Anthony Gibson Beadle ~
held job as jester, maybe annoying me.


1st - Rosie Perera with:
Yosemite National Park =
Area many like to stop in.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus ~
is the scary lethal topic at numerous U.S. clinics.

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The tight Scotsman: ~
"That thing costs me!"

Rosie Perera with:
United States Forest Service =
Institute's force saved trees.

Adie Pena with:
Netscape Navigator =
In a PC at gravestone

Tony Crafter with:
The Diana Fountain in Kensington Gardens =
A sinking foundation threatens an ending

Rosie Perera with:
Kopi Luwak Coffee. =
Like puke off a cow?

View with:
The Neapolitan spaghetti =
It's giant heap on the plate.

Neil Ramsay with:
A Ford Capri =
Paid for car.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Wetherspoons pub chain ~
house cheap brown pints.

Borma Soorgen with:
The Neapolitan spaghetti =
I eat long, thin pasta, eh pet?

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Patriots Superbowl champs =
Pro sports team whips a club.

Neil Ramsay with:
Fermat's Last Theorem =
Ream of maths letters.

Ellie Dent with:
Mt. Everest, in the Himalayan Mountains, Nepal. =
Hillary's one aim... even a pennant at the summit!

Adie Pena with:
All Nippon Airlines =
Li'l nips on airplane?

Mick Tully with:
United States of America =
Idea: fat customers eat in!

John Fidler with:
The Empire State Building =
Hi, embittered, lusting ape.

David Bourke with:
LesbianPersonals.com =
Incomparable lessons!

David Bourke with:
The British Council =
Built on rich ethics.

Larry Brash with:
Self-laudatory vanity article =
Artistically faulty endeavor.

Neil Ramsay with:
A Glaswegian Burns-Night =
Warning: Unstable Haggis!

Rosie Perera with:
The Narcissistic Personality Disorder =
Chris R-D: "I possess it and rarely notice it."

Seaport with:
Big Mac and Large Fries =
Lard, feces in a bag? Grim!

Rick Rothstein with:
The Miss America contest =
A nice chest is smart to me.

Ellie Dent with:
A Seventh Age =
Heaven's gate?


1st - Tony Crafter with:
How come that we choose from just two people to run for President and over fifty for Miss America? =
The women's seductive cup-ratios are more important forms of joy than the offices of world power?

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
How To Be King of the Media Jungle by Chris Roycroft-Davis =
1) Hijack others' creativity.
2) Show off on blog.
3) Demur big.
4) Deny.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
English author and mathematician Charles Lutwidge Dodgson ~
has got on him the magical drugs that Alice used in Wonderland.

Tony Crafter with:
That John Cleese/ Ronnie Barker/ Ronnie Corbett sketch =
Three jerks in rotten hats: Cretin/ Bore/ No-chance bloke.

Rosie Perera with:
Smokey Bear says, "Only you can prevent forest fires." =
My point so far: Conserve trees! Yes, burn safely, okay?

Rosie Perera with:
Sprint charges family for deceased man's cell phone plan =
Perhaps men in sealed coffins and large crypts call home?

Rosie Perera with:
Gary Michael Hilton suspected in death of Meredith Emerson =
Note secret hypothesis: homicidal man murdered the fine gal.

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars: A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi =
The known space saga hero Luke rejects his bitter father Vader (Anakin), whom the force tempts.
Tatooine men "He's perfect".

View with:
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban confirm pregnancy =
Frankly announced incoming birth. (Pick name, dear !)

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Researchers identify new targets to disrupt HIV life cycle =
Reportedly scientists' grief, "We felt: hurry the AIDS vaccine!"

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Nicole Richie and Joel Madden go have a little girl on Friday =
Lionel (her dad) rejoiced "All Night Long". May I often air advice?

Christopher Sturdy with:
Who ate all the pies?
Who ate all the pies?
You fat bastard,
You fat bastard,
You ate all the pies!
Help ape a footballer we adulate that has a trophy wife yet loses as a habit.
Lousy attitude!

David Bourke with:
Lance Bombardier Kerry Fletcher and Sergeant Louise Ashman =
Farmer erect, as embracing rude lesbians roll naked on the hay!

John Fidler with:
To move swiftly, strike vigorously, and secure all the fruits of victory, is the secret of successful war. =
Focus, focus, luvs! Let's get it over with. Scurry forward! Kill everyone, steal their stuff. So easy, it's comic.

Adie Pena with:
Who can allow a "King of Media" spin-doctor to steal from an organised ~
World Association for the Compilation and Knowledge of Anagrams?

Adie Pena with:
"Frankly, I've got better things to do with my time, like having root canal work and watching paint dry." =
How C. Roycroft-Davis, that "King"-like yet do-nothing nitwit, pillaged the vibrant Anagrammy network.

David Bourke with:
The author of self-laudatory vanity articles on Wikipedia =
Is it a lot of urine? Likely Roycroft-Davis...what a peanut head!

David A. Green with:
Chris Roycroft-Davis's 'How to be King of the Media Jungle' =
God! Come view the brief horrid jottings of a sly Sun hack.

Rosie Perera with:
Frankly, I've got better things to do with my time, like having root canal work and watching paint dry ~
writing my attractive, lengthy, wretched book with my infantile, arrogant, vapid talks on "kinghood".

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
How to be King of the Media Jungle by Chris Roycroft-Davis =
Why I'm a Bloviating Jerk by odd coot: The Sun's chief forger.

Adie Pena with:
The victorious Russian tennis player Maria Sharapova =
Our prime star stops shy Ana Ivanovic here in Australia.

Bryan Crain with:
"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see --
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. =
Poet Emily magnifies a punning truth: new science era ends the veteran banner of omniscience.

Rosie Perera with:
Holocaust commemorations, as Wednesday is the 75th anniversary of the day Hitler and the Nazi Party took power in Germany. =
Holiday's tacky theme: Aryan men preserve Auschwitz for many generations as a primer on how not to do death and hostility.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Democrats hopeful, Senator Johnny Reid Edwards bails out of the White House presidential race. =
He's reduced it to where those foes, Obama and Hillary, jostle for and win their audience's support.


1st - Bryan Crain with:
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."
= r>
Blair: "I am timorously troubled by your unreasonable lawmaking, oddly woolly logic, and lurid, redneck crudeness."
Bush: "What?"

2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."
Bush: Die, Rot! You mad, irksome outcast Arab world scoundrel.
Bin Laden: Away! You old warmongering redneck US hillbilly bully!

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."
Madonna: "Guy; can I borrow your cards, dude? I would like to order a wild li'l black number!"
Guy (yells): "Hell missus! Not another baby?"

Adie Pena with:
Barack Obama: No, I'll end your bloody U.S. wars, white girl!
Hillary Clinton: No, genius! We'll destroy your dumb U.S. dream, black dude!

Rosie Perera with:
Bush, coldly: "I run our United States like a lawless bomber cowboy. And you?"
Blair, dryly: "I ran England like God would: much armor!"

Andrew Brehaut with:
Mr Blair: Anyway, d'ya reckon I should be a Catholic?
Mrs Blair: Use no rubber? You'll get no loud and lewd lust, wild guy. No more kids!

David Bourke with:
Larry Brash: "Hold on...I'M well-endowed, you Israeli dunce!"
Mey Kraus: "Bollocks, Mr. B! I won it! (Uncultured gobby old Australian!). G'day!"

Rosie Perera with:
DB: Hey, I'll gram you under the table!
TC: Yikes! You'll drink beer and gram? Cool!
DB: Now I'd also wallow in luscious rum or USA brandy!

John Fidler with:
Cameron: "Gordon, you're dull!"
Brown: "But Sir, you're duller. Soon, crumb, I'll send you away! Ha ha! I will still be king beast, mack-daddy!"

David Bourke with:
Big, cuddly Gordon Brown (in a sulk):
"Well? Remember me? I should like a turn one day".
Tony Blair (sarcastically): "Oh, WOULD you? Absurd!"

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Will Smith: But dude, you old relic "I'm Legend".
Sly Stallone: (why caring?) I was also "Rocky Balboa and Rambo" you rude drunken burro!

David Bourke with:
Stuart Lubbock: "Would you like a swim now, lads?"
Michael Barrymore (seducingly): "Brr! No sun! I'd really need a buoy to hold, darling!"

Rosie Perera with:
Rowdy Tom Cruise yells: "I like landing on round couches!"
Katie Holmes warbled a lullaby: "Wrong! Don't alarm our baby Suri, buddy!"

Christopher Sturdy with:
Lloyd Webber: Will you be in my dark musical about rock 'n' roll, drugs, alcohol and ruin?
A. Winehouse: I'd be glad and my story's true!

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Ed Norton: (High) Wow buddy awesome in "Rounders"...Rebel you'll rule.......by luck!
Matt Damon: Your skills in cards arguably diabolical.

Adie Pena with:
Bill Clinton: "Laura is a doubly-drunk cowboy's dry woman!"
George Bush: "Hillary is unduly a wicked adulterer's blonde roommate!"

Adie Pena with:
Lindsay Lohan: Bar our unruly bodyguards! We're wildly bombed and ingloriously numbed!
Kate Moss: I'll clear our act with coke!

John Fidler with:
Gary: "Winstone, you are drunk!"
Ray: "Method acting, Oldman! My role is a rude, bully lush, so I do swallow cold beer in a blur, bulbdick!"

John Fidler with:
Kirsty MacColl: "Dude, are you sober? Wuss!"
Shane MacGowan: "Don't tell anybody! I drink one auld red rum: I go all wobbly, I blur, I hurl!"

Rosie Perera with:
Britney: O Mom, I was drunk but I can still breed a baby or coddle a lass.
Lynne: Well, whore gal! Could your darling kids humour you?

J.J. Gertler with:
Huckabee: "My, why so dour, world ruler?"
Bill Clinton: "I sinned, silly guy, or would run."
Barack Obama: "Yet gals do adore a nimble stud."

Rodney Koodray Jr with:
Donkey: (Lewdly blabbers) Ridiculous man no "Arthur"? You ugly bald "ogre"!
Shrek: I am now a worldly cultured nobleman..........Idiotic ass!

David Bourke with:
Dubya (U.S. moron): "Well gee, Mr Sharon, y'all! Now come on round, buddy! Well? Like, talk to us, buddy! It's crucial, baby!"
Ariel Sharon (rigid): ""

Adie Pena with:
Nicole Kidman: Will you sing our baby a slow country lullaby?
Keith Urban: Would a smashed, slurred, bad recording remotely do?

Dan Fortier with:
Obama: I won!
Hillary (and Bill): LOL! My word!
Go surrender, slack-brain dullard!
Because you're so dumb, you couldn't get in with *keys*!

Rosie Perera with:
Ehud Olmert urged: Israel wants a Middle East concord.
Hosni Mubarak, incredulously: Will lobbying by our ally Dubya work? No!

View with:
Bush - Ordure,I can't disclose you ?
Bin Laden - Awkward.
Bush - Glory, career !...Man, but I...I really must. World gloomy.
Bin Laden - Look duly.

View with:
Man - How about wild ... ?
Lady (blubbers)- Head is killing ...
Man (dour) - OK girl. Soccer on ...
Lady - Do you...?
Man - ...boner. We'll use it...?
Lady - Sure, cur, try...!

Ellie Dent with:
Bill Clinton: "I'm back... working!"
Hillary: "Yes, sure. You are a dumb old guy, under orders. U.S. do need, badly, a woman with clout... or balls."

Andrew Brehaut with:
Andy: G'day, buddy!
Rosie: Hi, beau. Our own American words rule.
NR: Nobody will talk mumbo truly like a Scot.
DB: Local English rules!

John Fidler with:
Cuddly Robbie Williams: "Hello! I'm back!"
Take That: "Sorry Dull Bob, we're using Mr 'One and Only' Lewis. You can do our laundry. Guards!"

Adrian Hickford with:
Monica nodded: Billy-boy, luckily your glans is remarkable!
Bill, turning cold: A rude blow! Wash your mouth out, dear. A new dress?


1st - Tony Crafter with:
On Saturday nights the three lads always went off to town together, but Seamus made a point of passing the church so he could attend confession, while the other mates waited outside.

"It has been a week since my last confession father," said Seamus, "and I'm sorry to say I have sinned of the flesh again."

"Was it that strumpet Babs O'Mairan from the dairy?"

"No father."

"Then, was it those cheeky Brady girls in the fruit shop?"

"No father."

"Don't tell me it was the widow Murphy paradin' her wares again?"

"No father."

"Very well; do your penance and be off with you then," said the priest.

Seamus dashed from the church to his waiting mates. "Great!" he said, "I've been told at least three amazing tips for tonight!"


"Father," confessed the man shyly, "yesterday I made love to my wife."

The priest assured the man there was nothing wrong with that.

"But father, I did it with ... lust."

Again, the priest told him it wasn't a sin.

"This was in the middle of the day though, father. Is that okay?"

The priest was getting uneasy with so many uncomfortable descriptions but assured his parishioner that it was a naturally healthy act for a man and wife.

"But father, it was a shameless act of passion. As she leant over the deep freeze I pounced on her and we made love right there on the floor! So ... does it mean I am banned from going to church?"

"Of course not," said the priest.

"Oh, thank goodness, because we're banned from Safeways."

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Obama's Top Ten list on The Late Show with David Letterman:
"Barack Obama Campaign Promises"
10. To keep the budget balanced, I'll rent the situation room for sweet sixteens.
9. I will double your tax money at the craps table.
8. Appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin' good.
7. If you bring a gator to the White House, I'll wrassle it.
6. I'll put Regis on the nickel.
5. I'll rename the tenth month of the year "Barack-tober."
4. I won't let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model.
3. I'll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece.
2. Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.
1. Three words: Vice President Oprah.
Ten Enumerable Hillary Clinton Campaign Promises...(Ten!)
10. Let talented Bill back into the White House (and he gets his own private bedroom).
9. Send that weedy outdated dolt George Bush packing back to Texas. (Heehaw! LOL!)
8. Motto: Read my lips: new taxes!
7. Mitt Romney who?
6. Rename Capitol Hill to Capitol Hillary (after dearly departed Edmund, of course).
5. Detente: Reinstate French fries in the White House cafeteria.
4. Let's make sure my photo ops are never in parachutist garb on aircraft carrier.
3. I won't babble aloud stupidly like the unimaginitive guy in there now. (LOL!)
2. Rout the overpopulation problem.
1. Toot my own horn! (Toot! Toot! Beep! Beep!)

Eq3rd - John Fidler with:
A is for Alibi
B Is for Burglar
C Is for Corpse
D Is for Deadbeat
E Is for Evidence
F Is for Fugitive
G Is for Gumshoe
H Is for Homicide
I Is for Innocent
J Is for Judgment
K Is for Killer
L Is for Lawless
M Is for Malice
N Is for Noose
O Is for Outlaw
P Is for Peril
Q Is For Quarry
R Is for Ricochet
S Is for Silence
T Is for Trespass


A is for Acid
B Is for Bullet
C Is for Chisel
D Is for Devil Claw
E Is for Elegy
F Is for Fearless
G Is for Guncrime U.S.
H Is for Hate
I Is for Iced
J Is for J'accuse!
K Is for Kidnap Trap
L Is for Law
M Is for Murderer
N Is for Nightmare
O Is for Oblivion
P Is for Poisoner
Q Is For Question
R Is for Recoil
S Is for Siege
T Is for Tombstone

Eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
A group of Cubans desert their island and are on their way to Miami. In the middle of their arduous journey, the weakest grey one suffers a massive heart attack and, as his last dying wish, asks for a flag to say "Adios" to his dearest country. Having abandoned everything in Havana, the other Cuban men search desperately within their boat to find something that will resemble a flag of their country... a t-shirt or a handkerchief perhaps. Nada!

Almost ready to abandon all hope, a gorgeous 20-year-old girl interrupts their desperate search to offer a tattoo of a waving Cuban flag inscribed on the left cheek of her buttocks.
A rather pat idea, she pulls down her jeans, revealing the Cuban flag in a beautifully-shaped tanned buttock cheek area. She approaches the dying man and offers her attractive ass, for free, right on his crinkled face. The old man fondles the 'flag,' grabs her fine cheek with both hands and begins to kiss the artistic tattoo, reiterating "My dear Cub-aaah! With great sadness, I say "Aaah-dios" to you forever! I will miss you soon thereafter my birthland, Havan-aaah..."

After going on for almost 20 torturous minutes, the deteriorated man says to the poor, teary-eyed girl, "Now, chica... turn around, por favor... I want to kiss Fidel good-bye!"

Rosie Perera with:
Telephone companies have cut off FBI wiretaps used to eavesdrop on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated failures to pay phone bills on time.
I suppose the federal bureau's office policy is to be incompetent at a post-Nine/Eleven surveillance? Perhaps a dumb-ass Bush operates the outmoded war office?

Christopher Sturdy with:
"I think it does once again urge us to think hard about what we can do to make sure that we keep guns out of the hands of children and criminals and mentally unbalanced people.
I hope we will come together as a nation and do whatever it takes to keep guns away from people who have no business with them."

What woman's arsenal would be without the crocodile tear?
We've seen Hillary Rodham Clinton seek to bring out the big guns when it came to winning hearts and minds.
We see the purpose, and the effect shook us. Look ahead though, as people picked up on it and may know a fake and a manipulative one at that!

Rosie Perera with:
"We came to see that, in the long run, it is more honorable to walk in dignity than ride in humiliation." (Martin Luther King, Jr., on the bus boycott)
That thin orator enjoining blacks not to sit in the back and be segregated, while a million unholy white men murmur (riot, too) in their unity.

Andrew Brehaut with:
"Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day."
To dupe a jittery guest, a mighty heavy Godfather, Don Corleone candidly advised puny Bonasera, how a Mafia system tactically conducted ultimatums.


1st - Rosie Perera with:
The Gashlycrumb Tinies

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
My Generation

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Material Girl

Adie Pena with:
Hours mean no more or less than years

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Robin

Neil Ramsay with:
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

John Fidler with:
They fuck you up, your mum and dad


1st - Adie Pena with:
A sexual intercourse =
Excretions are usual!

2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
What French people make a whistling sound? =
The womens naked parachuting fellowship!

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Say, I'm well hung! =
Man's huge willy.

Larry Brash with:
The Rude Section =
Esthetic or nude?

Tony Crafter with:
The mariner's pastime =
Enter a shipmate's rim!

Larry Brash with:
The cabin boy =
A boney bitch!

Dan Fortier with:
Sexual intercourse =
Late excursion? Sure!

Adie Pena with:
Masturbate-a-Thon =
A moan at the burst!

Neil Ramsay with:
Those englishmen who play the bass guitar =
Ugly, shit, mis-shapen, heathen goat-blowers.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The Negro woman's breasts =
So, her man gets a brown set.

David Bourke with:
Tribades ~
eat birds.

Tony Crafter with:
Converting a dyke =
Great! No dick-envy

Andrew Brehaut with:
Having a nice arse ~
enriches a vagina.

Rick Rothstein with:
Anal probes =
A pal's boner?

The Anagrammy Awards