GEORGIE ON MY SIDE - (An ace creep to a mate).
A. Blair

Georgie, Georgie, cool, calm and kind,
Just the sound of bombs
Keeps Georgie on my mind.

Oh, peace-pal, Georgie,
Yo! war-mate Georgie,
I aim to please,
That goes for me, and Cherie so agrees.

Other arms, artillery,
Shell and gun and infantry,
Can't kill as good as yours I see,
That's why I team with you.

George, gee, Georgie; esteemed and wise
Just an old pals' act
Keeps me on George's side.

Other arms, artillery,
Shell and gun and infantry,
Can't kill as good as yours I see,
That's why I team with you.
There's such a lot I owe to you.

Georgie, Georgie, cool, calm and kind
Just the sound of bombs
Keeps Georgie on my mind.

MY HOSTILITY AT A BASRA OUTPOST
(Private Thoughts of a young English Soldier)

I know that I shall meet my foe
Somewhere out in the Basra sand;
Those that I'll fight I do not know
Those that I guard don't understand;
My country is my England dear
My countrymen a snobbish race,
No likely end will bring them cheer
Or make this Earth a better place.
No holy visions made me care
Enough to be prepared to die,
But Mr Bush and Mr Blair
Declared this war, so here am I.
I've balanced off each man we've lost
In battle, with each toll of life;
The blood, the hell, the final cost,
Is any outcome worth this strife?

GET HERE!

Help me Express Plumbers, I've one big emergency,
There's a leak in my home water tank, that's drippin' here on me,
The ceiling's damp and I see water streamin' down the wall,
As I sit here in a puddle by the home-phone in the hall.

Help me I'm in trouble, 'cos the drip's become a flow,
I've told you my dilemma, man, what more d'you need to know?
Pardon me, what's that you say? 'Choose options - one of three,
Then confirm the number with a press of the hash key'?

Help me Mr. Plumber for the drip's become a gush,
Now the ceiling's saggin' and is changin' into mush,
You say my call's important; seems I'm fourteenth in the line,
Thirteen more to go (then press the hash just one more time).

Damn, the ceiling's disappeared, there's nothin' left of it!
Furthermore you're playin' Handel's Water Music shit!
I'm swimmin' like a merman through the house and out the home,
Hey, it's academic now, forget I ever phoned.

Summary of: 'CASABLANCA'

Sad 'Bogie' plays Rick Blaine,
Lost, joyless, full of pain; then Ilsa Lund returns.
Ingrid Bergman plays the woman
For whom he yearns.

They'd been soul-mates years ago,
And he still loves her, though
She's wed another guy,
The film is set in World War Two,
A time gone by.

Sam sings a love song
On emotivity,
Blaine just loves Sam's song,
So in that moment he
Wants Madame Lund to stay,
The catch? She's got a guy,
O my, O my, O my.

That fellow needs a visa
To leave with wifey 'Lisa',
(Well, 'Ilsa' doesn't rhyme!)
They ask Blaine, "Would you give us letters?"
To aid the crime.

So, poor sod just waves her off too sadly,
It made us cry.

BROKEN GLASSES

Picture yourself there outside the Dakota,
With Yoko, in west-side Manhattan, N.Y,
Suddenly someone appears from the shadows,
The man with the far-away eyes.

In this weird moment, the world stands quite still,
Everything's drifting away,
I look at the man who's extending his hand ...
With a gun.

{REFRAIN}
Is this really how I will die?
Is this really how I will die?
Is this really how I will die?

Follows behind you, cries out, "Mr Lennon!"
You look back, his gun kicks, you feel burning pain,
Somebody screams as you drop to the sidewalk;
You pray he won't shoot you again.
Cop-car with siren arrives on the scene,
Waiting to take you away,
Lie in the back while your life drips away,
Then you're gone...

{REFRAIN}
Is this truly how I shall die? ...

Picture yourself looking down on a sidewalk,
At shattered, red spectacles lying close by,
Yoko prays, clasping your head to her breast while
The man reads The Catcher In The Rye.

+ + +

ON DECEMBER EIGHTH, NINETEEN EIGHTY, SOLITARY PSYCHOPATH MARK DAVID CHAPMAN SNUFFED OUT 'MR. LENNON'.

Ah, The Good Lord is not harsh; He pities the faithless man.

POETS OF THE PLOT
(A Witty Output of Fatal Utterances!)

Here lies the body of Katy Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot;
She was aye a virgin at seventeen,
A remarkable feat in Aberdeen.

Here lies my wife,
Let her lie!
Now she's at peace
And so am I.

Solomon Isaac lies under this ground,
Don't rattle your money when you walk around.

Who lies here?
Me, Matty Macuitty
Ah, Matty, is that you?
Ay, man, but a'm dead noo.

That plot is the nicest I've seen all my life,
For it nurtures the flowers and covers my wife.

(To A Wife)
As I am now, so you will be
Madam, get ready to follow me.

(To A Husband)
To follow you I am not content
How would I know which way you went?

(To A Dentist):
Stranger, approach yon plot with gravity!
Jonah MacKue's filling his last cavity.

I would rather be here
Than in Texas.

Here lies my wife,
Here lies she;
Hallelujah!
Hallelujee!

Here lies Tony Crafter.
Who?

MY ... WHAT? WHY?
by ... Who?
(alias Jerry Atric)

My family want to poison me
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Just 'cos I am eighty-three
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Things they do are awful cruel
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Like puttin' strychnine in my gruel
(Talking 'bout degeneration)

Yo! It's denigration
Of my limitations, baby.

Why don't you just s-s-s-stop that, please
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
M-m-moanin' about my rest-home fees,
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
I'm not tryin' to be a b-burden to yah,
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
It's not my fault I'm g-goin' peculiar
(Talking 'bout degeneration)

Yo! It's denigration
Of my limitations baby.

Why won't you all s-s-s-stay away
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Don't want you s-spongers anyway
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
You took my glasses, took m-my teeth
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Now I can't s-see and I can't eat
(Talking 'bout degeneration)

Yo! It's denigrating
My limitations, baby.

My family want to poison me
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Just 'cos I am eighty-three
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Things they do are awful cruel
(Talking 'bout degeneration)
Like puttin' strychnine in my gruel
(Talking 'bout degeneration)

This is my baby onions, baby,
Yo, yo my ...um ... baby? ...onions?
Who?