Complete list of nominations for June, 2011

JUNE 2011 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2011

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush star in "The Kings Speech" =
S.. s.. sorry.. ar.. it.. its.. er.. not.. f.. f.. f.. uc.. cking he.. he.. he.. helping!

2nd - Dean Mayer with:
American sitcoms =
Semi-manic actors.

eq3rd - Ellie Dent with:
'The Mona Lisa' by Leo =
Oh, a notable smiley?

eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde" =
Regal in its tunes and words.

Adie Pena with:
"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!" =
Hey, see when Oliver utters common line to Stan. Gee!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson =
A boy tossed in barrel notes Silver's untrue.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"So You Think You Can Dance" Canada" =
I ask you, "Can any duo do the can-can?"

Meyran Kraus with:
The Hangover Part II =
"Have to repair night!"

Christopher Sturdy with:
The film "Sex and The City II" =
Synthetic life mix I hated.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Oscar-Claude Monet's "Water Lilies" series =
We see true sea colors and mistier lilacs.

David Bourke with:
Elton John's lyricist Bernard Taupin =
Just a Lincolnshire barn rodent. Pity!

nedesto with:
The World Wrestling Federation =
"Wow!" for thrilled ring attendees.

Harshal M. with:
Monty Python & the Holy Grail =
Mythology play in the north.

Tony Crafter with:
Novel, 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' by Harriet Beecher Stowe =
Coherent tome is the 'ban-slavery' bible, we concur.

Ivan Andonov with:
Star Wars: Episode Three - Revenge of the Sith =
There I see where Vader's forgotten his past!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" by Samuel L. Clemens =
A twelve-year-old boy's summer talent: fun schemes!

Tony Crafter with:
Singer, Adele =
I need lagers!

Ivan Andonov with:
Singer Amy Winehouse =
I see your new shaming.

Tony Crafter with:
Serena Williams' body ~
is a Wimbledon slayer!

View with:
'Electric Light Orchestra' band =
All graced the British concert.

Ellie Dent with:
Merchant-Ivory's 'The Remains of the Day' =
Hear many cry over the 'sands of time' hit.

View with:
Peter Falk as Columbo =
O, masterful bleak cop!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Ha, Allen in ~
"Annie Hall"!

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The US Representative Anthony D. Weiner =
Your penis? Never send her THAT in a tweet!

2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Space Shuttle Endeavour ~
couldn't have repeat uses.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Duchess of York admits: "I'm on the verge of bankruptcy." =
More muck spoken by Fergie for tidy TV cash handouts.

eq3rd - Ed Pegg Jr with:
Staged a protest =
Spotted teargas.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Canadian postalworkers =
"On strike" was on a placard.

Harshal M. with:
Solstice =
It's close.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The right-to-die activist Dr. Kevorkian is dead =
I'd vote a dark hiding visitor takes the credit!

David Bourke with:
Cadbury's Dairy Milk Bliss chocolate =
Sure similar to chic black lady's body!

nedesto with:
June's national potty training awareness month =
Parents join nanny as ungrown aims at the toilet.

Adie Pena with:
Saleh ~
heals.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Sarah Palin claims Paul Revere warned the British =
Shrill "Republican Misrepresentative" award (ha-ha!).

Adie Pena with:
Democrat Anthony D. Weiner =
Women reacted: "Tiny hard-on!"

Rosie Perera with:
Patriotic Millionaires for Fiscal Strength =
Rich for fair alms sign letter to politicians.

Rick Rothstein with:
Democratic US Representative Anthony Weiner =
American inserts nude, ever racy photo in tweet.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A disgusting orgy of serial male infidelity =
Daily Mail do see fit to ruin Ryan Giggs's life.

Rosie Perera with:
Sarah Palin's email to be released =
Read "I hate liberals!" as one sample.

View with:
The E-coli outbreak =
Trouble: I eat, choke...

Rosie Perera with:
The scientists' "Build a Dinosaur Project" =
Jurassic pest; it is bound to eat children!

Ivan Andonov with:
The Dallas Mavericks are the new NBA champions =
We seal Dirk as MVP as he can match LeBron in Heat.

Rob Bretveld with:
Lebron, Wade, and Bosh =
Ha! Bold NBAers owned!

Rosie Perera with:
Weiner resigns after sexting scandal =
Existing career ends in strange flaws.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Each vicious rival mob burnt ~
Vancouver, British Columbia.

View with:
The first total lunar eclipse of the year =
Earth truly tips on face of her satellite.

Dean Mayer with:
The ongoing sectarian rioting in Ulster =
Gnostics are turning religion into hate.

Larry Brash with:
Jackass star Ryan Matthew Dunn, 34 =
Drank 43 cans, may just answer that.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Casey Marie Anthony =
A sane mother? Nay, icy!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Los Alamos County issues mandatory evacuation =
Ominous soot usually means, "Vacate in cars, today!"

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"Michele Bachmann for President" =
Her plan: Best commander-in-chief.

Ellie Dent with:
Wimbledon Tennis Championships, held annually =
Climb Henman Hill, and who supplies tension? Andy!

David Bourke with:
The Wimbledon Centre Court on Sunday afternoon =
Can Murray win the London contest? Not before due!

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Hound of the Baskervilles" ~
had cool Baker St. sleuth in hunt for Devonshire slayer.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Conspiracy Theories:

Roswell crash
Footage of man on the moon
Subliminal messages in cartoons
Elvis died, but exists =

Hoaxes:

Voting machine results
Lost Weapons of Mass Destruction
Nigerian fee solicitors made rich
Balloon Boy mess

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Monty Python's comedy films:
1. The Holy Grail,
2. Life of Brian, and
3. The Meaning of Life. =
1. Eager high noblemen's folly,
2. Faith in the iffy Lord,
3. Impact of this on many old men.

David Bourke with:
Scientists advise that Viagra might cause sudden hearing loss =
David uses it, he discovers "At last! I can't hear the missus nagging!"

Adie Pena with:
Following bunches of vehement parents downright appalled at a harmless piece in a Middle School yearbook ~
"Top five worst people of all time: Adolph Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, Charles Manson, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney."

View with:
Endeavour ends the final mission with smooth landing =
So, main shuttle now home and finished in doing travels

Harshal M. with:
The Star Wars Trilogy:

A New Hope
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
=
Agreed they are just three perfect works with no horrible, inapt mistakes!

Ember Nickel with:
Star Wars Prequel Trilogy:

The Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith =
Other fancy gems? Perfect rocket movie plots?
Ashen, he'll answer. "That? Great? Ha, not quite!"

Tony Crafter with:
THE TOP 5 BRAIN-HEALTH FOODS
1. Wild salmon
2. Cacao beans.
3. Stone-ground Gyokuru green tea powder
4. Acai/blueberries
5. Coffee beans =
1. Angered, boned fish.
2. Oh, wow! 5 chocolate bars a day!
3. Pure, unusual, tastes bleeding terrible.
4. No pomegranate? Boo!
5. Caffeine rocks!

nedesto with:
"Suppose the chariot of the sun were given you, what would you do?" - Ovid in his epic, Metamorphoses =

Watch me whip hooves! I'd upward push Eos, unfettering moody Helios to outvie Europa's coy shine.

Tony Crafter with:
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh is ninety years old today =
Happy Birthday to our key (if undisciplined!) senior legend.

Larry Brash with:
The Prince Philip Mountbatten, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth, Baron Greenwich =
One can put up with him, the inbred Greek fun-fiend, the blithering moron or Palace bore.

Harshal M. with:
"Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There" by author Charles Lutwidge Dodgson =
This healthy book gets going through that huge, curious, and safe world called Wonderland.

David Bourke with:
The controversial new London Olympic Games logo, designed by Wolff Olins =
Oh, wrong! Effectively, closely-modelled on Lisa Simpson going down on Bart!

Ellie Dent with:
A verse from the pen of zany Spike
Milligan, former Goon and comic:

'I must go down to the sea again
To the lonely sea and the sky

=

I left my shoes and socks there
I wonder if they're dry.'

Thanks to a famous vocalizing poet,
I mangle/manage poem, not a long one.

Tom Myers with:
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader =
Three Child heroes' navy of one defeat an arrogant witch.

Ivan Andonov with:
Estado Libre y Soberano de Veracruz de Ignacio de la Llave =
Lovely old Azteca breed surges in a nice broad area I loved.

Meyran Kraus with:
Republican Michele Bachmann made a gaffe recently, saying that she's from Waterloo, Iowa, "just like John Wayne". =
A great flub, because it isn't John Wayne's place... The famed maniacal killer John Wayne Gacy is from her hometown!

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." (Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of the Island) =

Thaw

Below our moon - 

A muddied ink.

That joyful wait

Renews my tune;

A vile age will

Dawn wretchedly

In Israel soon.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." (Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of the Island) =
Are you joking? It would mean that I'd wallow in a deathly world of eternal Wimbledon matches! Unwise. Very unwise.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." (Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of the Island)
=
Joyous slow weeks we each view,
Unlimited by gloom and doom;
Naturally in tune with all:
Earth, water, fire, and wind.

Rosie Perera with:
A rueful day. We would have no snow. I wouldn't get to downhill ski. Me, swim?! I'd only remain abjectly in the water area.

View with:
Wow, God! It will be like May! What endless summer - join eternal heat without a cloud, no wind, no rain... Every day awful!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Well, without a winter "football" side, just heavenly: No deadly hurricane wind, women in swimwear to make you glad!

nedesto with:
In too-unbridled heat, we'd well admire you women jauntily flaunt in cheeky shorts, wallowing amid waves o' water.

David Bourke with:
The ideal month I'd truly welcome! A win/win...for we would avoid May's bleak weather and a sweltering sun in July too!

Dharam Khalsa with:
We'd need to own a humidifier
To stand all June weather;
Wow, I vow I'm not an ugly liar -
My skin would be scaly leather!

Christopher Sturdy with:
You'd see sly men who enjoy the allure of viewing 'natural talent bikini art' on www.swimwear.com huddled at a lido.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Well, we would share a twine-guided kite, but I certainly will not enjoy wild heat waves! (Dharam of NM - or anonymous?)

Dharam Khalsa with:
Odd notion! Just like a good Bill Murray film I own where each new day was the same. Eventually, I would want winter!

Larry Brash with:
What? Every day would be like nights in the middle of winter in Australia? No! We would now almost welcome January.

Harshal M. with:
Jewels out the window
On the flat, warm land.
Lively gusto wins me
Like a delicate rainbow,
You draw me in your hand.

Larry Brash with:
We vow we will not enjoy any more rain that fell, or usual mud, and wild icy wind that we got in here. - Mad Aussie Bloke.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Just a twig-dry wasteland,
Unwelcome wind a-howlin';
No likelihood of a winter or autumn -
Every day will be the same!

Larry Brash with:
We would have the rainiest wild winter in the memory of all Australian lads. I would now need go buy my own jacket.

nedesto with:
With a "Yeehaw!", dim wayward louts would enjoy unlimited illegal-fireworks-combat into eternal sundown. Heaven!

Ellie Dent with:
Jolly weather - while at a time
Under boiling sun, children went wild,
Nowadays - on a motorway -
Evokes awful tedium.

Ivan Andonov with:
Wow, you will read a so damn joyful thought, but we know well climate ain't the very same in Ireland, India or Sweden.

Ellie Dent with:
Oh, we'd all *love* it in June;
Welcome an additional one or
Two warm days: blue sky weather.
We might truly unwind. As if.

Ember Nickel with:
(Midwest USA): We would walk and enjoy wind energy. Lunar hours, however? In late daytime, I bet I'll fail to watch moon.

Dharam Khalsa with:
In other US and worldwide outcome, newlyweds lawfully joined in May now argue with athlete-like stamina! Bravo!

Harshal M. with:

Jewelry outside

Unwinds avidly,

Now you wallow at faith

Enabling me to see,

Work with care -

Home'll turn, and aid me.

Adie Pena with:
Well, it will just be the usual day one of school any time with every new and unaware kid wanting a worried old mom.

Rob Bretveld with:
Cub fans think we'll win it all, dream won't just die annually. I show everyone at Wrigley how we aid our doomed team.

Ellie Dent with:
A joyful Eden
running water in meadow -
I swallow, and melt.

A cloudless view
in a heady homily -
work better, without.

Rob Bretveld with:
Over my own summer, we would dine while at Taste of Chi-Town, enjoy a Bud at Wrigley, sail all around lake in the wind.

Meyran Kraus with:
I'll kneel in an eternal glow
To watch a muddy-yellow show
Bared in a muted, sunnier view...
It's way too humid for a Jew.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Wow, until we buy a mad title "If Every Month Were June", we don't always link an arid Colorado with humid Los Angeles!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Harshal M. with:
The Washington Post holds an annual word competition to transform word definitions.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v, To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who's been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
=
So just as before, go approach and explore beauteous words.
The destination? Enjoy these!

1. Monster, n. A guy with a shrill French accent, however horrid.
2. Aplomb, n. His favorite food.
3. Nincompoop, n. Nine repulsively hellish Microsoft Windows inventions.
4. Bootlegging, n. A show of getting ready for hard weather.
5. Joking, n. A dictator named Joe.
6. Biking, n. Him dying.
7. Crowbar, n. The site where birds drink and hang out.
8. Postpone, v. To keep a victory for later.
9. Pinball, n. A tiny sport, played beneath a microscope.
10. Pepper, n. A healthful energy drink.
11. Townships, n. How the men escaped from Chewandswallow.
12. Extolling, v. Giving one's money back.
13. Missing, n. A female gerund.
14. Unearth, v. Show the world to an end.
15. Fulfill, v. Flow liquid in a glass exactly to the top.
16. Abomination, n. The US with its current leader.
17. Software, n. A night dress.
18. Adulterate, v. Shift to old age.
19. Automate, n. The spouse chosen by one's parent.
20. Imperative, n. A damaged man.
21. Billion, n. Wealth Mr. Gates holds.
22. Pitchblende, n. A flashy harmonic chorus.
23. Defamation, n. Letting one's fame pile out.
24. Serial, n. A weighty TV diet.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A MAN'S ROLE

A Man is a woman's best friend.

He will reassure her when she's feeling insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to carry on until she succeeds and to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and put aside her regrets.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and surrender to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful woman in the room and he will enable her to appear decidedly confident, unbeatably seductive and sexy.

No wait...... sorry...... I'm thinking of wine.

It's wine that does all that.

Sorry.

=

A WOMAN'S AILMENT

An anxious brunette went into the doctor's office and said her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'All over? Listen; that ailment is not possible!' he said testily. 'Show me.'

The woman pressed her finger against her left shoulder and screamed out in pain, then she pressed her left elbow and screamed again. Next, she felt her wrist and still cried out; likewise when she pressed her shins. Everywhere she pressed made her emit an awful scream.

Finally, the doctor said, 'You're not a real brunette, are you?

'Well, no,' said the woman, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' he said; 'Your finger is broken.'

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BOYS AND, I HOPE, BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. He does not get lost - he merely investigates alternative destinations.

2. He is not bald - he is just in chronic follicle regression.

3. Remember, he does not have paunchiness, a beer gut - he has developed a
liquid storage facility.

4. He does not fall down badly drunk - he becomes accidentally horizontal.

5. He is not afraid of real commitment - he is monogamously challenged.

6. A man isn't a sick sinner, a chauvinist pig - he has swine empathy.

=

A GUIDE TO HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She's no airhead - she is reality impaired.

2. She doesn't have titillating breast implants - she's anatomically medically
enhanced.

3. She does not nag him - though she becomes verbally repetitive.

4. She doesn't get drunk - she gets chemically inconvenienced.

5. She's not been flitting around - she is a previously-enjoyed companion.

6. She is not a 'chick' or a 'doll,' and far from a fool, quite a normal fellow
human being - she is a breasted citizen.

nedesto with:
Space: The final frontier

Adie Pena with:
TOP 10 WEDDING MOVIES*
1 My Big Fat Greek Wedding
2 Father of the Bride
3 The Birdcage
4 The Wedding Planner
5 Monsoon Wedding
6 My Best Friend’s Wedding
7 The Wedding Singer
8 27 Dresses
9 Corpse Bride
10 Runaway Bride
=
TOP 10 WEDDING GIFTS FOR A HORNY COUPLE
1 Wine
2 Shredded Weed
3 Bawdy-Minded Book
4 de Sade's Wig
5 Beginner's Rigging
6 Firm Bed
7 Pederasty-Themed Sheets
8 27-Centimeter Hind Vibrator
9 Swing
10 Gender-Bending Dwarf

Meyran Kraus with:
[On June 10, thousands of e-mails describing Sarah Palin's years as governor were released by the state of Alaska to the excited media. The joke was purely on them, however: most of these e-mails turned out to be of little to no importance; the small bunch of e-mails that would possibly have been valuable were heavily censored. These matters shed light on the indignity of the media and its sketchy nature to choose empty or bogus stories over in-depth analysis.

Below, for example, is a 2008 e-mail from Palin which she had sent after seeing a commercial for the 10 p.m. news and suspecting the station had aired an incorrect report:]

Subject: KTUU polar bears

I know it's Friday night and maybe nothing can be done at this point, but KTUU just broadcast their 10pm news tease with: "Is Gov Palin refusing to release a scientific report declaring polar bears..."?

I guess I'll see where they're going on the news tonight, but I know nothing about a scientific report that I'm refusing to disclose.

If anything can be addressed between now and when KTUU rings some bell that we may not be able to un-ring, pls do whatever we can to make sure they're not incorrectly reporting anything. And if anyone knows about this report, I need to know what the issue is. Thanks

=

[...However, it was later unveiled that this 2008 e-mail was ALSO censored. Here is the full version:]

Subject: KTUU ~~filmed me shooting those 1,100~~ polar bears

I know it's Friday night ~~so it's going to be Thursday in a few hours~~ and maybe nothing can be done at this point, but ~~the Allah-loving heathens at~~ KTUU just broadcast their 10pm news tease with: "Is Gov Palin refusing to release a scientific report declaring polar bears...~~to be extinct after her latest shooting spree~~"?

~~They're on to me.~~ I guess I'll see where they're going ~~when the Rupture comes, and I guess I'm~~ on the news tonight, but I know nothing about ~~that Liberal "science" of theirs, let alone~~ a scientific report that I'm refusing to disclose. ~~I already offered to disclose whatever my shredder missed.~~

If anything ~~pipe-bomby~~ can be ~~sent in an anonymous package~~ addressed ~~to KTUU~~ between now and when KTUU rings some bell that we may not be able to un-ring ~~(read: PETA)~~, pls do whatever we can to make sure ~~no traces lead back to me, as~~ they're not incorrectly reporting anything. And if anyone ~~else~~ knows about this report, I need to ~~send my NRA pals their way before people~~ know what the issue is. Thanks ~~and hail Nixon!~~

~~P.S. Old Man McCain just offered me the V.P. job. Smart choice. That Obama is history now!~~

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Sarah Palin emails you would NOT see put in the "Lamestream" media newspapers:

Re: Formal Complaint
From: Sarah Palin
To: customerservice@lenscrafters.com

Dear Lens Crafters,

This may be just my 4th email, but I'm writing to inform you that I will be filing an official legal complaint against your corporation for selling my frames to Tina Fey, thereby violating the agreement we had to take those frames off the market.

See you in court!

Sarah (Vice President '08)
=
Re: Running Mate Offer
From: Senator John McCain, Flagstaff
To: palin4vicepresident08

WHAT DO YOU MEAN: "What administrative skill will that role entail, also?" ?!?!?!?

In reference to a previous email, if I may paraphrase loosely, I said get familiar with the task summary here: http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vice_President_of_the_United_States

You forgot to? Mercy!

Let me simplify (for a female) the stages: Research, learn it, remember all of it!

Ms. Palin, I'm not going to beat around the bush, you better not screw up my success!

Senator McCain

The Anagrammy Awards

JUNE 2011 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY