Anagrammy Placegetters for September 2000
All the highly-placed anagrams from the September 2000 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
Circumstantial evidence =
Can ruin detective's claim.
2nd - John Fidler with:
Unrecognisable =
Bearing no clues.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The morning-after pill =
"Pregnant? Hell! I'm for it!"
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Tom Myers with:
Letterman tonight =
Late night torment.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Women's four hundred metres final =
Ms Freeman led for thunderous win.
3rd - David Bourke with:
Dolly Rebecca Parton =
Bra coped? Clearly not!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
The United States Olympian Michael Johnson repeats as the 400-meter dash champion =
Athlete steals 400 second time? Ahh... poetry in motion. Perhaps he's just a damn machine!
eq.2nd - Tom Myers with:
Election debate =
To enable deceit.
eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
Al and Tipper Gore... ~
preparing to lead!
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The menstrual cycle =
"My cunt creates hell!"
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Hymens =
Men-shy.
3rd - Heather Mappus with:
Incontinent farts all night ~
in transcontinental flight.
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Jack be Nimble
Jack be Quick
To See the Hottest Porn
You Have to Click
http://www.smutserve.com
=
Jerk be Shitty
Jerk be Sick
Love-Act? Cum-Bath?
No! Shove a Stick!
http://www.CuteEloquentPoem.com
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
CUM SLURPING WHORES =
Swig our lunch - sperm!
3rd - Larry Brash with:
EASY money, receive e-mail, and get paid, about 40$ for month:
MORE INFO:
http://www.sendmoreinfo.com/id/1312720
=
The definition of Spam? Greasy canned meat? No more! A money remover!
Do I.O.U. $131,272,400?
http://www.idle-fib.com/
THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Hello everybody,
I offer you to start earning money today only by reading your email. Maybe it looks imposibile but it is not, 'cause you know how much money is spent by large companies to promote something and emails you'll recive are just sent to promote large companies and their products. Each message will contain one usefull link which should be clicked to add money to your account. The check is delivered to your adress every month.
Click.. http://www.sendmoreinfo.com/id/1259720
to sign up..
=
I suspected when I read this something was unreal or wrong with it, but no, I ignored my gut feelings and tried it out. Oh, boy, my big silly mistake!
I checked out the cool websites like it says. They must have had some powerful software to read my hard drive and soon stole our credit card numbers. No crap!
You have no conception of my silly, silly, behaviour! Audited? O, I am completely broke! I must accept my money's gone. No cool jackpot! O, no more! No 1,259,720 pence! No - none!
are-completely-silly@unlucky.com
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
NOTE!
REPORT #2 will explain you the best methods for transmitting large
amounts of emails, and will tell you where to locate free software
designed for sending bulk email, and free software designed to
harvest email addresses off the internet, giving you an inexhaustible
supply of potential buyers. Moreover, this report will indicate
you where to obtain email lists. The greater your number of programs
sold, the greater the amount of money for yourself and those who
are already involved in the program. If you make money, I make
money, therein every possible advantage is given to you in the
hope you succeed.
=
So... let me stress my deep resentment to a born-pervert, sex-offender, most revolting example of no self control, dull spammer's rotten stuff:
How do I hate you? Let me count the ways:
I hate you more than words can ever say
I hate you every single rising day
I hate your frigging swollen pig-like grin
I hate your gut and all it holds within
I hate your ever-smelling vermin feet
I hate all of the kinds of food you eat
I hate you at far mountains, ever-steep
I hate you in old oceans, ever-deep
I hate your bleeding feeble web of lies...
I dream and hope to see you rot and die.
(M. Kraus, borrowing a small part from E. Barrett Browning's poem.)
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Released by your own pituitary gland, GH starts declining in your
20s, even more in your 30s and 40s, eventually resulting in the
shrinkage of major organs--plus all other symptoms related to
old age.
THIS CAN NOW BE REVERSED!!! IN THOUSANDS OF CLINICAL STUDIES, GH HAS BEEN SHOWN TO ACCOMPLISH THE FOLLOWING:
* Reduce Body Fat and Build Lean Muscle WITHOUT EXERCISE!
* Enhance Sexual Performance
* Remove Wrinkles and Cellulite
* Lower Blood Pressure and improve Cholesterol Profile
* Improve Sleep, Vision and Memory
* Restore Hair Color and Growth
* Strengthen the Immune System
* Increase Energy and Cardiac Output
* Turn back your body's Biological Time Clock 10-20 years in 6
months of usage!!!
For MORE FREE INFORMATION or TO ORDER PRODUCT, please access the
link below, or contact us by email or voicemail anytime of day.
Find out how GH Implementation can "Reverse the Aging Process"
for you!
http://www.ghliquid.com
1-888-624-9852
goodliving2001@europe.com
goodliving2001@hotmail.com
(Distributors WANTED. We welcome INTERNATIONAL REPRESENTATION.)
=
A Million Dollar Discovery: HEALTH in GOAT SEMEN
My new incoming (bogus) investigations have been confirming the value of our GOAT CUM (GC) dietary supplement. Formerly, only third-world shepherds enjoyed the "full-blown" benefits of this miraculous substance.
GC will:
* Soothe sore throats (swallow at least 2-4 ounces)
* Clear sinus congestion (when inhaled)
* Keep vision 20-20 (gentle as water on your eyes)
* Be a rapid laxative (hold it!)
* Shrink your prostate (manual application recommended)
* Bleach skin spots (test inconspicuously for yellowing)
* Add mirror sheen to your hair (lengthen blonde)
* Attract female goats (No fooling: Free cheese!)
Don't depend on grocers, preservatives, or expensive, cumbersome refrigeration: obtain your GC directly from your OWN goats! Our trim, improved Irish breed produces a minimum of 1095 ounces yearly @ 3 per day.
1-800-462-8286 (1-800-GOATCUM)
http://www.coolmilliondollar.com/hiddenranch
Or write: goatlicking2001@hotsquirt.com
*** Caution: Suckers ruled "immoral", however, become WANTED and need LEGAL REPRESENTATION.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Preamble
to the United States Constitution
2nd - Mike Keith with:
Hole, twat, slit, bush,
Lunch, spread, Inside Thing,
Wet Mop, Vertical Smile, "Hello Kitty",
Love-tunnel, Rosebud, Inner self,
Fur piece, Honey pot, Pencil sharpener,
Canyon, crater, canal, The Deep,
Pussy
=
Pecker, schlong, wand, nob,
Pisser, steel shaft, lollipop,
Handyman, Eunuch's itch, little trout,
The Vein Boy, Prince Hairy,
Cunt-slayer, Neutron Warhead,
Love-muscle, little friend, pee-pees,
Penis
3rd - Richard Brodie with:
The core, mantle, and crust, oceans of water, and the atmosphere
of oxygen and nitrogen on this little planet.
=
Our plate tectonics (where a continent drifts) has transformed
the land to an extent - a phenomenal geology!
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
The Bronte Sisters, Anne, Charlotte and Emily =
Celebrate many stories set in the North land.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
President Milosevic =
Voters discipline me.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Elle "The Body" Macpherson =
Hyperbole! She can't model!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - ID Letterman with:
The great city of San Francisco =
Ecstatic, horny fags fornicate.
eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
The Organization of Petroleum-Exporting Countries =
Gang met to fix up our oil price on (or set near to) zenith.
eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Crispy Chicken Deluxe =
Six-inch recycled puke.
THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY
1st - Heather Mappus with:
Preventing coital desire =
Locating penis... Retrieved!
God! entire penis vertical!
Lord! I pet it, never ceasing.
Penis erect in large divot.
Never deep: giant clitoris.
2nd - Earle Jones with:
State of California =
Afloat in factories.
Cartoon affiliates.
Fanatical fires, too.
eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Lee Harvey Oswald =
A sad, very low heel.
Wee shady overall.
Shall eye a red vow.
Why else a lad over?
As volley we heard.
Was hell, day or eve.
How severe a dally.
Away! Do serve hell!
Ay, he leaves world.
Yes, held a real vow.
However, a sly deal.
Oh, a lawyer delves.
Reveal ye, old Shaw?
Who lays revealed?
Real way shoveled.
Hey... we over Dallas?
eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Onward, Christian soldiers! =
Warlord dean's histrionics?
Isn't iron-ware clash sordid?
Scolds horrid Satan: "Er, I win!"
Saint: "Cowardliness? Horrid!"
Slices Satan - did win horror.
This sword in iron-clad arse!
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The
Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The
song used in the film "Watership Down".
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Three
anagrams of A Daughter of Eve by Christina Georgina Rossetti
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